10:11 AM, Friday, June 3rd, 2011:
Awwww. Ya gotta watch the video of LeeLoo and the resident white homeless dog she is now "besties" with. Perfect Harmony...
...and that concludes our "Perfect Harmony" segment for this entry. Moving on to the most remarkably headshaking story I've written in quite some time...
So since Talya, out of exhaustion, has had to defriend her two girlfriends (friends she's had for over 5 years), I guess it's time to take stock of whatever the fuck that just was. I mean, I've been communicating publically since Talk Radio in 1995 and I've seen my share of miscommunications, but I have never seen anything like this. This is like a dumbed down version of Three's Company if Jack, Chrissy and Janet were texting the whole show. Today I sincerely made this comment in the midst of the stupidest thread:
"This actually feels like a poorly written high school drama. I still don't completely believe this is real."
...and then one of the two girls' husbands "liked" the comment, probably 'cause even he's fuckin' exhausted and mystified. It's like the entire world except these two are throwing their hands up going: "What the fuck is this about?". And I just can't stop putting a mirror to it 'cause it's an absolute train wreck and I have never seen a dialogue go on like this. Back and forth notes in grade school made more sense. Talya will write the most eloquent, calm, rational letter to them explaining every single miscommunication, they will ignore all of that, and bring up that I called someone a "cum stain" one time (someone they don't actually know mind you) and that they're really just standing up for Talya's feelings...
...without ever (and I do mean ever, even to this day) asking her how she feels.
It's no wonder Talya used to feel like no one ever listened to her, huh? One of the first few times we spent together I remember saying to her:  "You never talk, tell me what you're thinking hon!" and she looked at me and after a long pause finally said: "I've never had a man care what I say, so I usually don't say anything."
<heart breaking comment of the year>
A college educated, brilliant girl felt like that. <shakes head>. And I'm starting to see why. She's surrounded by people that tell her how she should feel, make her feel guilty when she does say something and make her feel guilty when she doesn't say something! And now that she's happy? Now that she's not constantly crying over her boyfriend or even has one complaint? Now they lash out at her? Could they be more transparent?
I've said so very, very little in the entries about this event because I didn't feel the need to get into specifics. However even when I write the most general, anonymous thoughts on "communication" or "responding to criticism" it causes such batshit crazy meltdowns that there's no doubt they actually want the attention. I mean, why fill my public Facebook threads with their names and then go apeshit when I anonymously talk about what was said there? It's so contradictory they can't be taken seriously. So here's how this went down, and I still think I don't have the whole story.
-Two of Talya's friends criticized my parody song about Talya's ex on Facebook and I responded to their criticism in the following entry.
-I was then defriended by one of them and she wrote to Talya furious saying I had no right to mention them in an entry (which I never did, I simply mentioned their critiques). Talya pointed that out to her and said "I think you're blowing it out of proportion. I just don't think this is that big of a deal."
-She then admitted that it had nothing to do with the video, but 2 other situations where they both felt I slighted them, so Talya calmly explained the situations and that these were actual miscommunications (ie, we left her show right after it ended because she was sick, or I was actually the one that dragged Talya out of bed to go to their party, at no point did I not want to be there). It was clearly just a few situations in need of an explanation.
-The whole thing prompted my entry about communication. How one little thing gets left out and suddenly we're in this constant comedy of errors because no one is actually saying what they're really angry about. Kind of mapping out how quickly communcation breaks down into dysfunction if you aren't completely open. To date, it might be one of my favorite entries on the subject of interpersonal communication. Sure, these two are aware they prompted it - but no one else reading it has a clue who they are, nor would they care. The entry isn't about them, it's about learning how to communicate better and learn from what are really simple misreads of situations.
-Then the gloves come fucking off: "I'll still be here when he divorces u like all the others. And I won't even say I told u so." And a series of statements about what demons "The Journey" holds because she claims to have read every single entry. How psycho is that? Why the hell would she read 1,143 entries? And she's alluding to Palaur from 1998?!? I mean, if you take in the stuff before The Journey started in 2000, it's 16 years and over 1,400 entries. What the hell?
But of course she's not telling the truth here. If she had actually read all of them? She'd know that not only have I never divorced anyone... they were all amicable dissolutions (one of which we made a song about) and other than Donna (who no one has heard from in nearly two years), we are all great friends that talk on a regular basis. I can't wait for Talya to meet Burg & Jess in a couple weeks so we can all have a beer and laugh over this because this is batshit crazy. She threw in the "narcissistic personality disorder" jab too. Brilliant doctor, read their inner-most thoughts in their diary and make the assessment they're self-centered. Meanwhile, never once speak to them or their significant other about anything personal, choosing to instead talk about you and try out comedy bits on them. Judge not lest ye be judged, Ms. Myopia. Thankfully, this subject was dealt with before in an entry last year. But she already must have read that right? :-)
The sad thing is had they been friends? They'd know that my biggest concern is Talya, and her biggest concern is me, and together we have supported her friends and family through some incredibly rough times, putting their needs ahead of ours without thinking twice. I believe that's called "love". We're about the least narcissistic people you'll ever meet, if you actually get to know us. Simply put, THEY have a problem with "The Journey" so they try to berate Talya until SHE has a problem with it. I've never seen anything like it. I've never in my life seen people just trample all over someone's happiness when, seriously, this is over legitimate miscommunications that are easily explained. Even the stuff they're picking out in The Journey make a whole lot more sense once you understand the entire arc of the stories as opposed to one entry, one paragraph or in their cases, one sentence.
And poor Talya, I told her a couple of days ago to just write <hug> to them both and move on but she was certain that she just needed to continue trying to explain the initial miscommunications. As I said, you just couldn't ask for a more eloquent explanation of exactly what happened, never being mean, apologizing for ever hurting anyone, but standing firm that she thought me responding anonymously to critiques of my song wasn't a big deal. But they weren't even trying to understand, they just wanted drama. They certainly have it, between the two of them.
Now, I was gonna wrap it up here, but I just reread the entry and it really needs at least one example so you can understand how assanine these back and forths are because Talya and I have been absolutely bewildered...
Still stuck on something graphic I wrote in Palaur in 1998, one of them wrote this when I posted "Let Them Drown" on my wall:
"...This is nothing compared to the sexual graphic content that you wrote in the past. And I was right, you successfully alienated some of Talya's closest friends and will probably continue to do. BTW don't worry, I won't delete this "shitty" comment..."


At this point I really thought she may have been religious and that I actually deeply offended about something I wrote so I started scouring Palaur to see what it could've been. And then I remembered that she was at her friend's show (the friend that is the counterpart to this drama) that Talya & I attended and it was easily, without a doubt, the most sexually graphic show I've ever been to in a comedy setting. I mean, I laughed, I enjoy that kind of humor, but I was still stunned. I walked away figuring they were probably well on their way to getting picked up on TV 'cause it was just edgy enough that people would watch. So I responded:
"Weren't you next to me and Talya at _____'s show where they pretended to drink her menstrual blood in the name of comedy? Your comment isn't shitty it's absolutely baffling."


The response? The male comedy partner from the show writes (out of the fucking blue):
"high school drama? well, stop posting shitty songs about your relationship and personal problems. no one cares! i don't know you, but somehow you have insulted (the show)! not cool. ALSO, take off the fedora, you douchebag!"


And then she writes Talya wondering why I would bring up something so random in the thread.
 This deserves the Cameron confused face from the Young & The Restless
How do you communicate with people that can't process information? That are actually (not trying to be condescending) unable to read? Is this a generational thing? Both people that made these comments are in their early 20s... is this actually a reading comprehension thing? There wasn't an insult and it wasn't random - it's CLEAR what the correlation is. Now do you understand why Talya and I have been looking at each other like Cameron the past few days? I tried to respond:
"You're welcome to have the opinion I should not have the longest running video blog in the world. It's my therapy, it works for me, those that usually dislike it don't read it, not make fun of my hat. LOL. And not only did I not insult your show, I previously said I enjoyed it, Talya and I spent $25 to see it even on a night when she was really sick, would've seen it again. I brought up the fact that you drank menstrual blood onstage to make the point that it was sexually graphic since ____ seemed offended at something in my blog that was. Talya and I have been in stitches laughing about how 'dramatic' this is. I know this is life and death serious to _____ and_____ but it's about the stupidest thing I have ever been involved in. And in all this time, no one ever picked up a phone to see if Talya was alright? Telling."
Of course they never responded to that or the point made about sexual content, and instead made fedora jokes on each others' walls. Every single time Talya and I make a valid point like this? It's treated the exact same way. Again, Talya has been friends with these two girls for 5 years. Five. It's why Talya couldn't let it go with a <hug> and felt the need to explain the same thing over and over. And why did this spin out of control? Because Talya didn't think it was a big deal when I responded to their critiques of my song with complete anonymity. She dared to disagree with them.
And as I said in the last entry, at some point you just have to realize that these two people are not happy with their lives and they are trying desperately to make yours just as miserable. Talya and I have floated downstream with some pretty intense (real) outside drama around us recently and we've never been stronger. So with that Talya exhaustedly defriended two 5-year friendships and we continue to float downstream. We actually feel lucky to have seen such an insight to their character over the easiest of miscommunications. The potential future pain we saved is immeasurable.
When you stand up to bullies and critics that don't have a leg to stand on? They self-destruct.
Adam & Talya