Awwww. Ya gotta
watch the video of LeeLoo and the resident white
homeless dog she is now "besties" with. Perfect
Harmony...
...and that
concludes our "Perfect Harmony" segment for this
entry. Moving on to the most remarkably headshaking
story I've written in quite some time...
So since Talya,
out of exhaustion, has had to defriend her two
girlfriends (friends she's had for over 5 years), I
guess it's time to take stock of whatever the fuck
that just was. I mean,
I've been
communicating publically since Talk Radio in 1995 and
I've seen my share of miscommunications, but I have
never seen anything like this. This is like a
dumbed down version of Three's Company if Jack,
Chrissy and Janet were texting the whole show.
Today I sincerely made this comment in the midst of
the stupidest thread:
"This actually
feels like a poorly written high school drama. I still
don't completely believe this is real."
...and then one of
the two girls' husbands "liked" the comment,
probably 'cause even he's fuckin' exhausted and
mystified. It's like the entire world except
these two are throwing their hands up
going: "What the fuck is this about?". And
I just can't stop putting a mirror to it 'cause
it's an absolute train wreck and I have never
seen a dialogue go on like this. Back and forth notes
in grade school made more sense. Talya will write the
most eloquent, calm, rational letter to them
explaining every single miscommunication, they will
ignore all of that, and bring up that
I called someone a "cum stain" one time (someone
they don't actually know mind you) and that they're
really just standing up for Talya's
feelings...
...without ever
(and I do mean ever, even to this day) asking her
how she feels.
It's no wonder
Talya used to feel like no one ever listened to her,
huh? One of the first few times we spent together
I remember saying to her: "You never talk,
tell me what you're thinking hon!" and she looked at
me and after a long pause finally said: "I've never
had a man care what I say, so I usually
don't say anything."
<heart
breaking comment of the year>
A college
educated, brilliant girl felt like that. <shakes
head>. And I'm starting to see why. She's
surrounded by people that tell her how she should
feel, make her feel guilty when she does say something
and make her feel guilty when she
doesn't say something! And now that she's
happy? Now that she's not constantly crying over her
boyfriend or even has one complaint? Now they lash out
at her? Could they be more transparent?
I've said so very,
very little in the entries about this event because
I didn't feel the need to get into specifics.
However even when I write the most general, anonymous
thoughts on "communication" or "responding to
criticism" it causes such batshit crazy meltdowns that
there's no doubt they actually want the
attention. I mean, why fill my public Facebook threads
with their names and then go apeshit when
I anonymously talk about what was said there?
It's so contradictory they can't be taken seriously.
So here's how this went down, and I still think I
don't have the whole story.
-Two of Talya's
friends criticized my parody
song
about Talya's ex on Facebook and I responded
to their criticism in the following
entry.
-I was
then defriended by one of them and she wrote to
Talya furious saying I had no right to mention
them in an entry (which I never did,
I simply mentioned their critiques). Talya
pointed that out to her and said "I think you're
blowing it out of proportion. I just don't think
this is that big of a deal."
-She then
admitted that it had nothing to do with the video,
but 2 other situations where they both felt
I slighted them, so Talya calmly explained the
situations and that these were actual
miscommunications (ie, we left her show right after
it ended because she was sick, or I was
actually the one that dragged Talya out of bed to
go to their party, at no point did I not want
to be there). It was clearly just a few
situations in need of an explanation.
-The whole
thing prompted my entry
about
communication.
How one little thing gets left out and suddenly
we're in this constant comedy of errors because no
one is actually saying what they're really
angry about. Kind of mapping out how quickly
communcation breaks down into dysfunction if you
aren't completely open. To date, it might be one of
my favorite entries on the subject of interpersonal
communication. Sure, these two are aware they
prompted it - but no one else reading it has a clue
who they are, nor would they care. The entry isn't
about them, it's about learning how to communicate
better and learn from what are really simple
misreads of situations.
-Then the
gloves come fucking off: "I'll still be here when
he divorces u like all the others. And I won't
even say I told u so." And a series of
statements about what demons "The Journey" holds
because she claims to have read every single entry.
How psycho is that? Why the hell would she read
1,143 entries? And she's alluding to Palaur from
1998?!? I mean, if you take in the stuff
before The Journey started in 2000, it's 16 years
and over 1,400 entries. What the hell?
But of course
she's not telling the truth here. If she had actually
read all of them? She'd know that not only have
I never divorced anyone... they were all
amicable dissolutions (one of which we
made a song
about) and
other than Donna (who no one has heard from in nearly
two years), we are all great friends that talk on a
regular basis. I can't wait for Talya to meet Burg
& Jess in a couple weeks so we can all have a
beer and laugh over this because this is
batshit crazy. She threw in the "narcissistic
personality disorder" jab too. Brilliant doctor, read
their inner-most thoughts in their diary and make the
assessment they're self-centered. Meanwhile, never
once speak to them or their significant other about
anything personal, choosing to instead talk
about you and try out comedy bits on them. Judge not
lest ye be judged, Ms. Myopia. Thankfully, this
subject was dealt with before in an entry
last year.
But she already must have read that right?
:-)
The sad thing is
had they been friends? They'd know that my biggest
concern is Talya, and her biggest concern is me, and
together we have supported her friends and family
through some incredibly rough times, putting their
needs ahead of ours without thinking twice. I believe
that's called "love". We're about the least
narcissistic people you'll ever meet, if you actually
get to know us. Simply put, THEY have a problem
with "The Journey" so they try to berate Talya until
SHE has a problem with it. I've never seen
anything like it. I've never in my life seen people
just trample all over someone's happiness when,
seriously, this is over legitimate miscommunications
that are easily explained. Even the stuff they're
picking out in The Journey make a whole lot more sense
once you understand the entire arc of the stories as
opposed to one entry, one paragraph or in their cases,
one sentence.
And poor Talya,
I told her a couple of days ago to just write
<hug> to them both and move on but she was
certain that she just needed to continue trying to
explain the initial miscommunications. As I said,
you just couldn't ask for a more eloquent explanation
of exactly what happened, never being mean,
apologizing for ever hurting anyone, but standing firm
that she thought me responding anonymously to
critiques of my song wasn't a big deal. But they
weren't even trying to understand, they just wanted
drama. They certainly have it, between the two of
them.
Now, I was gonna
wrap it up here, but I just reread the entry and
it really needs at least one example so you can
understand how assanine these back and forths are
because Talya and I have been absolutely
bewildered...
Still stuck on
something graphic I wrote in Palaur in 1998, one of
them wrote this when I posted "Let Them Drown" on
my wall:
"...This is
nothing compared to the sexual graphic content that
you wrote in the past. And I was right, you
successfully alienated some of Talya's closest
friends and will probably continue to do. BTW don't
worry, I won't delete this "shitty"
comment..."
At this point I
really thought she may have been religious and that I
actually deeply offended about something I wrote
so I started scouring Palaur to see what it
could've been. And then I remembered that she was
at her friend's show (the friend that is the
counterpart to this drama) that Talya &
I attended and it was easily, without a doubt,
the most sexually graphic show I've ever been to in a
comedy setting. I mean, I laughed,
I enjoy that kind of humor, but I was still
stunned. I walked away figuring they were
probably well on their way to getting picked up on TV
'cause it was just edgy enough that people would
watch. So I responded:
"Weren't you
next to me and Talya at _____'s show where they
pretended to drink her menstrual blood in the name
of comedy? Your comment isn't shitty it's
absolutely baffling."
The response? The
male comedy partner from the show writes (out of the
fucking blue):
"high school
drama? well, stop posting shitty songs about your
relationship and personal problems. no one cares! i
don't know you, but somehow you have insulted (the
show)! not cool. ALSO, take off the fedora, you
douchebag!"
And then she
writes Talya wondering why I would bring up
something so random in the thread.
!??!!?
This
deserves the Cameron confused face from the Young
& The Restless
How do you
communicate with people that can't process
information? That are actually (not trying to be
condescending) unable to read? Is this a generational
thing? Both people that made these comments are in
their early 20s... is this actually a reading
comprehension thing? There wasn't an insult and it
wasn't random - it's CLEAR what the correlation
is. Now do you understand why Talya and I have
been looking at each other like Cameron the past few
days? I tried to respond:
"You're welcome
to have the opinion I should not have the longest
running video blog in the world. It's my therapy,
it works for me, those that usually dislike it
don't read it, not make fun of my hat. LOL. And not
only did I not insult your show, I previously said
I enjoyed it, Talya and I spent $25 to see it even
on a night when she was really sick, would've seen
it again. I brought up the fact that you drank
menstrual blood onstage to make the point that it
was sexually graphic since ____ seemed offended at
something in my blog that was. Talya and I have
been in stitches laughing about how 'dramatic' this
is. I know this is life and death serious to _____
and_____ but it's about the stupidest thing I have
ever been involved in. And in all this time, no one
ever picked up a phone to see if Talya was alright?
Telling."
Of course they
never responded to that or the point made about sexual
content, and instead made fedora jokes on each others'
walls. Every single time Talya and I make a valid
point like this? It's treated the exact same way.
Again, Talya has been friends with these two girls for
5 years. Five. It's why Talya couldn't let it go with
a <hug> and felt the need to explain the same
thing over and over. And why did this spin out of
control? Because Talya didn't think it was a big deal
when I responded to their critiques of my song
with complete anonymity. She dared to disagree with
them.
And as I said
in the last entry, at some point you just have to
realize that these two people are not happy
with their lives and they are trying desperately to
make yours just as miserable. Talya and I have floated
downstream with some pretty intense (real) outside
drama around us recently and we've never been
stronger. So with that Talya exhaustedly defriended
two 5-year friendships and we continue to float
downstream. We actually feel lucky to have seen such
an insight to their character over the easiest of
miscommunications. The potential future pain we saved
is immeasurable.
When you stand up
to bullies and critics that don't have a leg to stand
on? They self-destruct.
