If only I had
time to reread every entry before the one I'm about to
put up, maybe I'd remember some of this
shit...
...but then I'd
never write again. <shrug>
So I forgot one
cardinal rule of open communication: Assuming everyone
has access to the same information you do. Talya did.
Her mother did. I did.
Annnnnnnnd that
would be it.
Everyone else
involved has the "sanitized" version that was meant to
keep the peace. Jesus, what the hell are girlfriends
for? Aren't you SUPPOSED to tell your girlfriends when
your man is an ASSHOLE? When he takes you to a country
you've never been in, and then leaves you alone and
goes out with friends? When he tells you you're
unnattractive and he only loves you sometimes?
Like, how did that skip past the
girlfriends?
And is this a west
coast thing? Is everyone so deathly afraid of burning
bridges they can't call out abuse? There are grey
areas in the world and this is not one of them. And
now he wants her back in his life, and wants to pay
for her "Forum" at Landmark? Dude, back the fuck
off. If I tried to do that to one of my exes, I
could only hope that all I got was a
parody song. Sheeeeeeeeeit.
But again, she's
only ever told two people the whole truth. So from the
friend's perspective I guess I get their disdain
of my public ridicule of him (though I never mention
his name or show his face)... thus the disapproving
comments on Facebook. And by the way - you do realize
that when you write a comment, and then erase it...
the person still gets an email of the original
comment, right? At least when I write something shitty
I upload it and number it.
;-)
Well now what's
the video supposed to be. Goddamn "video blogger"
title. Let's go through my unused videos (yes, there
are videos that aren't online <gasp>) and see
what the roulette wheel come sup with today. Something
peaceful, something with a story, something
unique...
June 19th, 2007 -
was spending the night at Jess & Jeff's so Jess
and I could get our dissolution at the courthouse
the following morning. So it's that weird period where
I'm a week away from marrying Donna, in the midst of
all things CBS, and find myself in Ohio for a couple
of days. I also had my new high definition camera
and was taping all sorts of things. This seemed like
the thing to shoot - but also made me realize I'm
always gonna be a nerd. This is like some shitty demo
DVD you get with your TV to show-off the
"brilliant" colors. Ahhh! Experience The Deep!
BWAHAHA. When I first got my DVD player
I was buying any cheap disc I could find
just to have something to play on it (ahh, 1998) - and
Jess and I went on DVDwave.com and picked up this
underwater coral reef DVD, "Experience The
Deep", that was so badly compressed it could've
been an online video... in 1998. It was later an
inside joke and I held onto that DVD forever
because it was just so bad. Well, this, I guess
would be the HD version of that. And hopefully
Jess & Jeff remember some of these fish that are
probably all dead by now. They can be like - ooh look!
It's Luther! Or whatever the hell they named their
fish. Come to think of it, how weird for them.
I don't even know if they knew I taped that.
Is this gonna be like seeing their old dead friends?
This is gonna be really traumatizing.
Shit.
See I am
kinda concerned about what I post. Alright, lemme
reread the last entry...
...uhm, that entry
was more than justified. And honestly? If it wasn't?
Welcome to The Journey. The point is to know me, not
to like me. I'm not perfect, I make mistakes and I
make them publically. That is the entire basis of this
site. Putting it all out there, and being YOU. Fuck
tact. I mean, don't completely fuck tact,
but sometimes? Yeah, stop with the niceities. You know
who said it best? Ann Walker. Ha. This is a great way
to end this entry...
Hadn't spoken to
Ann for awhile and I missed her. She was
certainly someone I assumed would be in my
life... for life. I just like her spirit and she's a
joy to be around. I finally wrote to her asking
why she was kind of avoiding me and she said she
wasn't, but we finally talked on the phone and she
just came right out and said it: "I'm happy for you,
Talya seems great... but I don't want to
entertain you guys. What the hell's in it for
me?" I just had to smile. I love Ann's honesty.
It's why we got along so well. Now I wasn't asking for
us all to be friends, I just wanted to remain
close, grab coffee... still be in each others' lives,
but our time together was exactly what it was supposed
to be: a chapter. One I'm incredibly fond of and happy
to have it cemented into this Journey forever. The
point was, she just came right out and said it to me:
"Adam, we were together... now you're with someone
else. I don't want see that. Shut the fuck up already
and be happy." LMAO.
So it's in that
spirit that I extend to "the ex", you lost. Stop
offering to buy her expensive things and berating her
when she says "no". And don't be surprised when,
because of that, I offer to buy you a nice
big slice of go fuck yourself. And what's funny?
Landmark is what did it. I've always been a big
believer in maintaing friendships with exes and was
fine with everything until I realized that your
"apology" was actually a sales pitch to get both of us
to buy into a self-help cult. Though you would pay for
Talya's "forum" further manipulating her. Charming.
So, no apologies are gonna come from me for that
song.
