I'm making a pact for as long as I
possibly can... shit, already screwed up - lemme
restart this...
After this entry, I'm making a
pact for as long as I possibly can to stop with the
incessant whining about how freaking old I feel after
the 10 years I've been through. I know I want to
be honest on this thing - and honest to Shizzle it
enters my mind multiple times a day... but that's what
I'm attempting to stop. We get it Adam, you've lived
the life of a 50 year old with your relationships and
career burns. But guess what - you've lived all that
and still aren't 50. So shaddddddddddddddup.
And I will. After these
randoms.
1) Laugh it up
Fuzzball
So Paddy won 2 tickets to the
members only screening of Empire Strikes Back (it will
never be Episode 5 to me) and invited me to go with
him. It was the first digital screening of it, and it
certainly looked purty. It was not however the one
where Harrison Ford and some other cast/crew attended,
that some of you may have seen online - it was the
following night. Still cool to be at the same place,
and of course see it as good as it's ever looked. And
thankfully Empire is the least fucked with of the
original 3 when it comes to the "special editions", so
the overwhelming majority of it was as I remembered it
when I was a kid... which brought me to the gut-check
of the night...
I saw this in its initial run in
1980. And I remember it vividly. I remember my
grandmother and my Uncle Tim (3 1/2 years older than
me) coming back from it and how cool he made it sound.
I remember him specifically mentioning Han's "Laugh it
up Fuzzball" line and me then begging my mother to see
it - and the 4 of us went soon after. I remember just
how much it hit me emotionally. Luke's face in Vader's
mask, him screaming "NOoooo" at the end. At 4 or 5 you
pretty much just feel the energy of the moment. This
is really BAD. This is really SCARY. This is really
HAPPY. But goddamn it was "cool". It felt like the
coolest thing ever, and I remember exactly how it made
me feel. It stuck with me quite a bit. That memory is
thirty, years, old. And of course, I took some video
of it on the big screen. :-)
Fun.
2) So that's
over.
Got the final paperwork with
Donna, it all became official on May 18th, 2010. So,
there you go. Should've actually been done in January,
but there was a humorous mix-up because she forgot to
use a notary. Heh. I mentioned this in an entry that's
still locked, but seriously? The one guy who you could
probably get some sound advice on the way divorces
work, and you won't speak to him. Ironic. So it added
a bit more time for everything to go through. Still
amazing that you file it in early February and LA is
so backed up it takes 3 months to actually get seen
and stamped. Hmmm. I really have nothing to add to
this. It's a tired story with a tired outcome. Almost
2 years to the date of when she ran away though. That
was kinda cool. Fun
entry.
I read it after
all this time and actually laughed a bit. Crazy
times.
3)
LET IT BEEEEEEE
Speaking of crazy
times... I know it's rule #1 of art - that if you
have to explain it, you kinda failed. But I've wanted
to let people know that the distortion on my version
of "Let
it Be" a
few entries back was intentional, and was supposed to
be hard to listen to. It was supposed to feel
uncomfortable. It was supposed to make you wince a
bit. It's The Journey. And a collection of
well-produced, perfect sounding songs bores the hell
out of me. Journeysongs will always be about capturing
a moment in time, as it's happening. And yeah - that
song hurt. The Journey has had its toll on me, and it
screams from me at times and is hard to watch. I love
the piece. It really feels like it put a stamp on
where I'm at better than anything I could've done.
4) Celebrities in
the Bathroom
This should be a
book. Because for some reason, even though the stories
are identical, it's like this quasi-intimate
experience that seems interesting. Of course it
isn't, but saying: "I was in the bathroom with
Andy Rooney" illicits a smile, some questions... and
of course some strange visuals. This actually happened
years ago, but always forgot to mention it in a
"Randoms" entry. Tammy (producer at CBS during
the Egos) and I were coming off the elevator to go
back to her office. We pass Andy Rooney's office to do
this (yes the actual one he does his little stories
from, it's not a set), and I had mentioned what a fan
I was of him. I used to sit through ALLLL OF
60 minutes for what at the time was excruciating to a
10 year old just to see his bits. And lo and behold -
she saw him go into the bathroom. She goes: "OOooooh!
There he is... go in!". And I jumped like - of course!
And then you go
in, and think - wait - what the fuck am
I supposed to do now? About all you can do, is
pretend you're taking a whiz and then think in your
head "I'm in the bathroom with Andy Rooney." Which is
what I did. I washed my hands and had to maneuver
around him to leave, etc. And he is quite a large
fellow, and it was quite a small bathroom... but for a
moment - I was hangin' with Andy Rooney. Stupid,
right? But I know there's a MILLION stories
like this, and everyone shares them with the same
fervor and excitement... but realize - what a STUPID
story. Who cares? Those that have been in the bathroom
with a celebrity care. And we'll buy the coffee table
book. :-)
5) How was THIS
not an entry?
It's things like
this that make you realize just how incredible last
year was. During that 5 day period of elation after
Comedy Central and before the "pass" call... Ann
Walker took me to the television academy where the
cast of fucking CHEERS was talking about TV. Ted
Danson, Kelsey Grammer and Woody Harrelson among
others. The singlemost influential show of my life and
I was a few feet from all of them. It was the coolest
thing EVER and I even got video of it (which has now
been lost forever when CeBe ate my phone). Oh well.
Had I not been with Ann, I had easy access to run up
afterwards and shake Ted's hand, but I didn't want to
embarrass a friend that invited me. If it's just me?
I'll be the fool. It was a great night. All throughout
the talk, ideas for Egos episodes were just flying.
I was so excited that I was going to get the
opportunity to create on such a high level. Take
risks, try to push boundaries... but alas, the next
DAY actually - I got the dreaded call and the
rest is history. So I guess you can understand
why I never mentioned this before. Still a great
memory, and nice that I have a few of those left
without video...
6) Still hope for
the videoblogging story
...speaking of
memories without video - Jim contacted me this week,
and there's still hope. Hmmm, I never mentioned how
that meeting went did I. Well, it ended with Jim
digging the angle of what digital diaries do to our
brains with the influx of Facebook, Twitter and
blogging as a whole. He thinks he can pitch the story
idea and they would also then interview me as the
first and longest running to do it - and talk to me
about the effects on your memory, when you document
your life like this. The segue from the last random
was one of the points I was gonna bring up, which was
advice to others to not share EVERYTHING. Not because
of sharing too much abotu yourself, or future
emplyoees seeing something embarrassing - that's the
obvious pitfalls. I mean, random innocuous memories
that don't hurt you in any way... don't put THOSE
pictures on Facebook. Not all of them anyway. That's
where the weight of blogging/video blogging and even
social networking sites start to weigh on your noggin'
after a decade. 'Cause we're making a bulk of memories
that don't fade, that are constantly in our face, and
instantly accessible. But yeah - Jim likes it, thinks
he can get a story greenlit on it, which would help me
in every possible way. From Wikipedia to becoming a
contributor for The Early Show again. It means
everything right now - and he has been more
than helpful. Hopefully we hear more in the next week
or two. Still a longshot, but it's actually an
interesting psychological study outside of my input.
So that helps a bunch.
7) America's Got
Nothin'
...I don't think.
Daniel was just too damn busy and now all the
auditions are over. I uploaded my video for shits
and giggles for an "in-season" pick by the producers
that the show is putting in this season that kinda
jumps over all the other audtioners to spice things
up, but I don't expect much response. And in all
honesty... the amount of money and work that it would
take to create that stage show to be wheeled on again?
I don't know how I would be able to do it.
Soooooooooooo expensive now that we're in the HD
world, and I'd have to go WELL beyond what I
scraped together for Comedy Central. Unless I get
a call from a producer saying, "we like it, you're IN"
there's just no way I can put the act together for an
audition. We're talking close to $10,000 I'd have to
put into it. I think the days of 4tvs are
officially over. I like the poetry of it all being
bookended in the "00s" with Comedy Central right at
the end of '09. Seems about right.
8) Will people
ever understand?
Is everyone in
this country THAT motivated by money? Seriously? The
reaction to how Conan got fuuuuuuuuuucked has been
depressing to say the least. The overwhelming majority
just don't get it. All the comment sections of any
story about him brings up the money he got. Stop
bitching, you have money. Are people that
self-absorbed? I know, this coming from me - but at
least I can look outside of myself long enough to wear
other people's shoes. No one has a more unstable
financial situation than me and believe me,
I understand how Conan was screwed.
THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MONEY.
NOTHING. I wrote an entire entry on all of this
in January,
I won't re-hash it, but I'm so frustrated with people
thinking he's whining. He's not whining. Watch the 60
minutes interview again. But people CANNOT look
outside of their own environment. All they can see
is: "I'm not rich, he's rich, therefore I can
whine... he can't." It's all relative people. ALLL
relative. Just because the majority of the jobs we all
have revolve around one goal: making money to
buy shit we want... doesn't mean they all do. And the
inability of the working class to even understand
that, annoys the hell out of me. Does anyone reading
this think I'm doing this to make money? That I've
struggled this long to make money? !?!? Who the fuck
cares about money? I honestly don't. I care about
making my mark, finding my place in this world, and
producing the most humanly possible before I die.
Quality of life means dick to me, if I'm not creating
content. Period. I will be homeless with a laptop and
camera if need be. It's the one thing I know about
myself. Making money is a necessity because of the
society I'm in, not because I value it. I live on less
than anyone I know because I value things
like: writing a good song. How much does that cost?
I'll create a video before I buy one 99 times out
of 100. Makes me infinitely more happy. And most real
artists feel the same way. Of course we want a bigger
audience. Without a doubt we want to touch/reach more
people. But the money IS secondary when you're an
artist.
And of course the
other thing that came out of that interview earlier
this month - he nailed the Leno thing. Simply put, he
stated: "I would not have done what Jay did, I
would've moved on." And it's verbatim what I was
saying in the entry in January. I'm with Jay
ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the way until that move. He got
screwed with the Tonight Show, having to give it up as
#1. He was given NO time at 10pm and he should not be
faulted for how he fared as that was Zucker's move,
not his. NBC were the bad guys up until one moment...
the moment he had no problem taking back The Tonight
Show. That will never go away, that will always be
remembered - and he should have moved on. Conan
absolutely would've done the same thing, and the fact
that he was offered the option to KEEP The Tonight
Show at midnight and he TURNED IT DOWN
proves that. He felt that was a cheap thing to do to
The Tonight Show brand and wouldn't be a party to it.
That's integrity. I respect the ever-lovin' hell out
of that and only people completely fixated on their
own money woes fail to see that. Empathy is a lost
art.
9) Best Segue
EVER.
Empathy is a lost
art PLUS The Tonight Show. Hell yes...
So I grabbed some
soundbites for The Tavis Smiley Show last month
(locked entry, unlocked video) and one of the
soundbites was from Kevin Eubanks. Who strangely (this
is in the wayback archive) I spoke to in 1997 when
I was producing for Steve Cannon. Man, that may
be online. Holy
Shit. Now,
that's awesome. Say what you want about the negatives
to chronicling your life like this, but come on.
I just grabbed a 13 year old memory out of thin
air, and can link you to:
In my
mailbox was a note saying. "Tell me the hours in
question from this morning’s conversation."
From Darryl. What does this mean? Who knows. I
wrote out that I hadn’t written down 7 hours
for Sat. That’s it. I am really confused here.
Did a new opener for the late show. The song simply
rocks. Did this distortion thing with my voice. It
was very cool. Cannon had Kevin Eubanks as a guest,
and it was awesome. Get this: At the top of the
hour I picked up the phone and told him I did some
vocal harmonies he may be interested in. He was
really cool about it. Told me where to send it and
said to put personal and confidential on it. Is
this an opportunity or what? During the interview
Kevin talked about how the tonight show was getting
into more comedy bits. Wow. With the way things are
going with Darryl, I just might have something
here. Cannon’s show was good because of
Eubanks, but after that...ZZZ. I have to stay up
all night for a mandatory producer's meeting.
Whoopee.
I'm way off on a
tangent, but that's pretty cool. The Boyles where
Lester calls Rush is the mp3 for that entry. Good
shit. Oh, and I did send him stuff... 3 years freaking
late in 2000 when I was actually in LA, and never
heard back. Add it to the list...
Anyway, so I get
my soundbite from Kevin congratulating Tavis on his
radio anniversary and I sat down to edit it. A
woman comes up to him and says: "Wow! You're so much
shorter than you look on TV!" and he replies in his
mellow demeanor: "Oh, thanks for pointing that out."
<big smile>. I couldn't help but laugh out loud
at that. He turned to me and laughed too. The woman
still didn't get why that was kind of rude... but it's
part of that Celebrity mystique where you forget
you're talking to a human, and shit just comes out.
So as he was
leaving, I said: "You're a lot taller than you look on
TV." And he laughed and agreed. It was a funny moment.
He's leaving The Tonight Show. I know he'd never say
it? Well, maybe in some book or something in 20
years... but part of me thinks he had a problem with
how things went down but is too good of friends with
Jay to even go there. And listen, Jay is a
great guy. He does do some great things, and is
fiercely loyal. He just crossed the line in my opinion
and it was a biggie to me. That's all.
10) Speaking of
biggies...
This oil spill is
a fucking disaster. And I know Obama's getting some
heat now for not taking care of this sooner, but
I have to ask: "How?". If there's a section of
our government that knows how to stop this spill and
HASN'T? By all means, fucking massive blunder of
Katrina proportions to allow BP to fuck around this
long. But from my perspective, all the government can
do is help clean-up, aid, food... that kind of stuff
(which they were woefully unprepared to do in
Katrina). I'm just not certain that ANYONE knows how
to stop this spill because of the lack of regulations
on the "stop-valve" that cost, what $500,000 to
implement on these rigs? Listen, no one loves holding
Obama's feet to the fire more than me (glad they
finally fired someone over that disastrous Christmas
bomber mistake) but I'm afraid the engineers at BP may
be our only hope to stop this thing. It's fucking
ridiculous if that's true, but I really don't know
what "button" Obama could be pushing right now that
he's not pushing. As far as I know, we're pretty
helpless here.
11)
A FUCKING SPREADSHEET.
Where we are NOT
helpless however is with the fucking Terror list and
No-Fly List. WHAT, THE, FUCK, people? I went off
on this before, and here we go again -
HOW DID THE TIME SQUARE BOMBER GET ON A FUCKING PLANE?
He was on the Terror List! How is everyone not cross
checked!!??!? I mean, yes, they fucking got him
before it took off - but his ass was ON, THE, PLANE!
This is so mind-numbing to me I can barely complete
this random. What am I mising here? How is this
not happening? How did a someone get on a plane AGAIN
who was on that list? And the only reason we know is
because he tried to set a
BOMB OFF IN TIME SQUARE. How many
people on that list are flying all the time? !?!? And
again, I understand the difference. I'm not
saying that people on the suspected terror list should
not be allowed to fly, there's a reason why there's
two lists. But they should be searched to such a
degree they feel nearly violated... or they can choose
not to fly. Flying is a privilege. And if you're a
suspected terrorist, you're gonna get pulled out of
the fucking line and that's just tough shit. Not
talking about profiling, it takes some intense shit to
get on that list. So... again, how did he slip past
security? AFTER the Christmas Bomber thing?
BARACK! HIRE ME.
I'LL SET UP A NETWORK that
cross-checks every single person issued a bording
pass. It's a SIMPLE program. A shared spreadsheet
that everyone goes through. Come, fucking, ON already.
!?!?!? GOD this angers me...
12) Michael "Phil
Jackson" Jordan
...as does
people's inability to understand that this shit ain't
all LeBron's fault. There's a reason Jordan, Pippen,
O'Neal, Bryant... they never won anything before Phil
Jackson came along. That they were losers until that
point and now those four people could put 20 rings on
a table and have a laugh. LeBron's coach is so
piss-poor that he had the beast that is LeBron and
couldn't win more than 2 games against an aging Boston
team. Really. LeBron's last game was 27-19-10. For
fuck's sake people. What does a guy have to do? Yes,
he fucking dropped the ball in Game 5. Something was
definitely wrong... but that's one game. And if one
more person brings up the fact that Jordan never had
games like that when it mattered... GODDAMNIT. No one
love Jordan like I do. Wait'll you see the short film
I'm gonna upload this year on the 15 year-anniversary
of when I met him. But one thing I am, is
logical. I don't sugar-coat shit. I watched every
damned game, hell I have every playoff game that
man played after 1993 on TAPE. I know his games. And
he had HUGE letdowns, and had it not been for his
teammates and a coach that knew how to get those
players to be excited about their "roles"? He would
not have the rings he has now. Period. Perfect
example:
1993 Playoffs, the
Bulls lose the first 2 games IN CHICAGO and are
heading to NY for a do-or-die Game 3. Jordan shoots
3-18 and dis-a-fucking-pears. Much like LeBron's Game
5 when they lost by 30. The outcome in '93? They win
by 20 'cause the rest of the team picks up the slack.
See the difference? LeBron's teammates just don't get
it. They aren't coached well, they don't know their
roles - they ended up deferring to LeBron who was off
his game... and just looking confused. That is on the
coach. It doesn't take away from the fact that LeBron
is, currenty, the best player in the league. He can do
everything - and 99% of the time does. He needs HELP.
His teammates didn't HELP. I mean their big
addition, Antawn Jamison, scored 5 points in the last
game? Huh? In the playoffs, the best teams win -
ALWAYS. And that requires people helping, and great
coaching. Which is also why it is unheard of that
LeBron took that 2007 team to the NBA Finals.
Jordan could NOT have switched roles with him, with
those teammates and that joke of a coach and done the
same thing. Neither could Kobe. I wish people would
remember that...
13) Kobe, 5 of
7
...that being
said, Kobe is 2 wins away from going to his 7th
NBA Finals and if he wins, tie Magic with 5 rings
(Jordan was 6 of 6). That's spectacular. Kobe is an
absolute badass and has a career head and shoulders
over anyone else playing right now. Don't even start
with Shaq and his hanger-on status with Miami getting
his 4th. Whatever. Kobe isn't done, he's 31. He could
very well surpass Jordan's 6 rings and you will be
hard-pressed to not start the comparisons. Because you
can CERTAINLY argue that last year, Kobe did it with
less than Jordan did. I know Pau is great, but
he's not Scottie Pippen. Kobe has turned into an
unselfish player with a cold-blooded assassin streak
that NO ONE has seen since Jordan. Can't wait to
watch The Finals this year... and not have to do it
over a webcam from Paris. :-)
Hmmm. So I think
that's it? Oh wait..
14) Never took
that job last fall...
How funny is this.
I need to check a few locked entries, but I believe
this is a story line I have completely dropped.
That "Always
Someone
Cooler"
entry I wrote and the job I started before I went
back to Columbus? When I came back in January - my
friend that was also working there said it was a
nightmare, complete scam, and so I never went
back - thus my year of hell trying to scrape
everything together. I realized that those who are
actually reading along, probably never understood that
- and figured I just didn't talk about a boring
desk-gig. No, it never really happened. All I have as
a memory of that job? Is that cool little video
I put together. There ya go.
Alright
I think that kinda catches us up. Randoms take a
long freaking time. Ugh.
