2:40 AM, Wednesday, May 1st, 1996:
I made the decision tonight to drop out of college to pursue my career in the music business, as well as put all of my efforts into my radio show.
I am scared out of my mind.
I know this is the right choice. That is not what I doubt. A degree at this point will mean nothing for the two careers I want. My dream, and my fall back. My fear comes in the simple fears we all have. Can I make it. I have no excuses now. This is it. It is the middle of week 6 at school. I will finish this quarter, and end up with a 3.034 for my 2 years there. Simply astounding with as little time as I spend. If I told some of the counselors there, they simply would not believe me. How 'bout this for a stat. Haven't read anything, from any book, since fall quarter freshman year. My Comp & Lit.? Nothing. An all reading class, and I BS'd my way through the whole thing. That was actually pretty fun I must admit, but the classes were horrible. I'm excited that now I don't have to worry about that "hit" melody that I get in the middle of class. Now I just have to worry about life.
I told my dad, he knew this was coming. I told my mom, she was a little more surprised. Told me how rammy my decisions are, and how I'll understand how wrong this is in 10 years. I told her in 10 years she'll understand this was right. If this was all I accomplished in life, I wouldn't mind. Knowing I'm doing this at 20 now...it would bum me out, but I'm headed in the right direction. It's a whole new chapter in life, and I'm definitely nervous. I will make the most of it. Need to tell my grandmother on my mom's side, and the one I'm really worried about...Bill White. I don't want him to be upset with me. I might hold off for awhile. More later, this could get interesting.
1:45 AM, Thursday, May 2nd, 1996:
Well now my grandmother knows. Took it quite well. In fact seems fine with it. Realizes I'm an adult and can make my own choices...how nice. It's still too odd to me. I am doin' somethin' BIG. I'm pretty nervous, and I pretty much never want to sit in class again. But I need to get at least C's and a B, or I'll be below a 3.0. Can't have that. Even if I never go back. Can't be below a 3.0. May be telling Bill tomorrow. More than likely it'll be Friday.
11:00 PM - 6:00 AM, Friday - Saturday, May 3rd - 4th, 1996: SHOW 132
A goddamn Reds game went until 1:30. Alright, the big scoop: CD's didn't come out, Jack Nicholson couldn't do #100, and I'm not returning to school in the fall. So overwhelmingly disappointing on the Jack front. I did a 3 minute skit like a game show called "Disappoint Our Listeners" talking about all the news. Some sort of breach of contract with Nicholson, but my gut feeling is that Angela is lying. It's such a tough call. I can't imagine she would be, but my gut is rarely wrong when it comes to lying. The show went well considering. It was pulling teeth until about 3:15, and then BD drew them in. Had to make out a graph in order to do the BD hour correctly. Worked perfect. 4:00 hour was strong, and I had 15 spots at 5! 15! I couldn't believe it. I never have spots. It felt like that's all I did. Show ended up well, but still bummed about my 3 disappointments. Actually relieved about school. I can concentrate on talk radio and the music business.
10:30 PM - 7:00 AM, Saturday - Sunday, May 4th - 5th, 1996: SHOW 133
Bad. Really bad. Cannon would have left. One call first hour. Didn't play music though. Somehow made it. Glenn saved me at 1:45. That went til 3. Got the tape that John and Jane's show where they promoted my big Brushes with Fame 100 night. Embarrassing they plugged it so much and nothing happened. Slow night played music the last half hour. Show was filled with some good bits. It was great, after the horrible first hour Gary called up and said "Thinkin' of stayin' in school?" Made me laugh. Hopefully my CD's are in this week (knock knock knock), if not, I'll be mad. Fuck, I'm mad now.
11:00 PM - 2:15 AM, Sunday - Monday, May 5th - 6th, 1996:
OH MY GOD. As a teaser "Cannon lies to my face". Anyway, I tell KP about what Cannon did and she isn't too surprised. Then Cannon brings it up at 1:00 break and explains how it was a skit that blew up in his face because I wasn't listening. ?!? I tried to explain to him that I had been listening the entire time, but the janitor came in to talk to me, and I turned down the volume. He kept throwin' back at me. I finally said...why did you do that in the first place Steve? Do you know how bad that sounds to the audience? Then, after more of this banter, he says he was in his office the entire time. I looked him dead in the eye and said: "No you weren't, I searched the entire building for you, and ya weren't there." Stammering and shaken he says: "Well maybe I was in the bathroom..." Later on, I ask him why he had his coat on then... he says HE DIDN'T. HOW CAN HE POSSIBLY FUCKIN' LIE ABOUT THIS? He plain and simple said he didn't. Obviously he wishes that I didn't see him in it, but he can't deny it...yet he did... What the hell. I was lookin' him dead in the eye, and with a nervous type of laugh he said: "It was on the back of my chair...I had it with me." He was really scramblin' at this point..I thought he was gonna lose it. It was really....cool. Anyway, to help him out I stopped it before his hole got any bigger by saying: "Steve, obviously we saw two different things..." And I went back into the producer's rooom. Amazing. THEN at the 2:00 break as I'm getting spots. He sits down to talk to me, and I sit at the mic. He says he thinks I'm making "...motherfuckin' heroes out of the callers." Little does he realize, that he hasn't put Glenn and the guy who was fighting with him on hold, they can hear all of this. I was brimmin' from EAR TO EAR inside. He goes off on them, and I simply said that in no way does my show effect his show because he runs it soooo diferently. He then realizes they can hear us and freaks out and reaches over and puts them in hold. I cannot wait to talk to Glenn about this on Friday...HA fuckin' HA. He went off some more, and I explained that all he's doin' is making more tension between us on and off the air than needed. I told him I defended him on the air, but he's makin' it more and more difficult. Overall, I was glad to get out of there.