ENTRY #113
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(sorry, couldn't help it)
12:22 PM, Monday, March 12th, 2001:
How can this possibly happen so soon?
Mind you, everything is still rockin' in the free world out here in LA land, but I found my recent attitudes rather funny in light of all I have stated in the past. I've always figured that if I kept a detailed enough journal throughout this journey, that when I do "make it" - you'll be able to go back and see it really happen. Everyone says you change - and I wanna see if I'm "everyone"...and how that happens. I've actually quite enjoyed re-reading the past 112 entries and watching things unfold. It's quite extraordinary.
So if you had told me a few months ago that on Monday, March 12th, 2001 - I'd have a manager. That I'd be playing comedy clubs in a matter of months. That I'd be writing a script for a one-man 4tvs show called "The Trinitrons" that will be pitched for every meaningful studio and television exec in this city - AND that my manager knows these people well enough to HELP ME WRITE THE DAMN THING to cater to what they want - wouldn't I be thrilled?
No, I want a shave and a haircut more than you could possibly imagine.
I'm growing as much hair on my body as humaly possible so we have more to work with when shooting begins in April. This is something I would've DREAMED of a year ago. How cool is it to be growing a beard for a ROLE?! This is what REAL ACTORS DO!!! Hell yeah. But that just doesn't help right now. It's hot outside, and I want all of my hair OFF. I am suuuuuuuuuch a pussy right now aren't I.
I really just can't believe myself to tell you the truth. I feel like I'm the whiny-little hollywood man. I mean I'm actually bitching because it's 75 out, and I am growing my hair and beard long. I'm bitching because I actually have to WORK at writing this script, and actually LISTEN to other people. Actually, I'm kind of enjoying that part. Charlotte (manager) and I had it out last night for 3 hours pounding out character development on "The Trinitrons". I can't tell you how hard it is to make 5 different characters be funny, but NOT BE CLICHE'd - and mesh together. It's definitely a creative writing challenge. And what I love about Charlotte is that we can go at each other like BOXERS defending our side, and when it's all said and done, still be smart enough to know who to listen to. We pull NO punches and it inevitably makes: "The Trinitorns" a better show. I have to admit though, if she was a guy - I'd want to kill her. (Bob just brought in a STICK from outside to show me. He's tried so valiantly to live up to J-Dog's bird catching skills, but so far has managed only snails and foliage) But yeah, there's more of an art to arguing with a woman. Because when it's all done - you can just say: "Hey, no hard feelings, just trying to argue my side". With a guy we'd have to both swap gut-punches to feel better. Very strange. But all-props to her skills in this arena...she's debating a former talk-show host and winning most battles. On the other hand, I was always quite the listener in talk. If you made sense, I'd always hand it to you. She makes sense and doesn't talk shit.
Well damn, I sure do feel better now.
I guess stress is stress no matter what. We all think there's an answer, "If only I had this..." - but it just never works out like that. Every level you get to in life has different problems. Having the direction I so sorely wanted a month ago definitely helps, but I still want to shave and get a haircut. If it wasn't annoying and difficult - it wouldn't be so impressive in the end. I gotta keep thinking about how impressed the audience will be when they see the work that was put into it. That has always been the theme to every project I've ever done: an excruciating amount of work. When people found out that I didn't have the background tracks to the parody songs I wrote, or EVEN INSTRUMENTS, yet still made them - it made a difference. 4tvs in itself shows a tremendous amount of planning and work...it's just now it's gone to that next level. A level so precise, that every aspect of the creation is painstaking. I think even I'm gonna be impressed when this gets pulled off.
Good, creative COMEDY writing has to be hard. It has NOT all been done before. Those who say that - are writing cliched, tired scripts. So I'll gladly struggle to make this NOT fall into that category. It's cool really, I've never had a challenge consume me to this extent. Everything I do is designed to help the creative process right now. It's such a surreal atmosphere in my head. The whole "writer's block" thing is not made up. It's quite real, and quite annoying. And then it all comes out in amazing spurts of productivity...then you wonder and mope and...ahem...bitch about a shave and a haircut. You go from feeling incredibly witty and intelligent, to horribly cliched and mundane in a matter of moments. You think you've accomplished something, only to rip it up and re-write the entire thing. All in an effort to make sure you get it right. Especially in this case, because once those TVS are shot, it's all over. There's no comedic "refining" after it gets in front of a crowd. This better be funny, 'cause it AIN'T CHANGIN'.
Speaking of which, after weeks of tweaking, the short film I did the music for is finally finished. For the new readers out there - uhm, I did the music for a short film. LOL. "Pep Talk" - about a guy who gets dumped and fights depression by talking to himself. Going as far as taping people and "making" friends.
It screamed for a quirky type of stylized music, and that's definitely a way to describe my a capella music. The film is gonna be submitted to a few film festivals around town. Can't wait to actually hear my shit in a theater. Quite a thrill. It'll also probably make its way online on a few sites in time, so hopefully you guys can catch it. If not, here's a little sneak preview edit of the film's open. It's written and directed by Marshall McAuley, and the lead actor is Roger Offutt.
Alrighty, time to stop my whining, and get back to writing. And hey - at least I can GROW HAIR. Sheesh, I forgot about that (after my divorce all the hair on my chin fell out...for 2 years), I have NOTHIN' to bitch about.
original video file
MARCH 2001