ENTRY #190
 
7:45 PM, Wednesday, April 3rd, 2002:
 
Seriously. There's just no excuse for not catchin' on already. LOL. I'm so limited in what I can do to trick you within "The Journey", that you guys should be ready for it. Now quite a few of you were, and that's what SHOULD happen by now. LOL. But amazingly, the majority of you fell for it. That just RULES.
 
Now I think you all need to realize that I was planning a pretty kick ass april fools joke. I had it planned for MONTHS. Unfortunately, I couldn't go through with it. You can't very well show people a video of you imagining a gun in your mouth and crying, and then fuck with their emotions some more. Besides, I'm drained. I'm so emotionally drained, that I wasn't even up for it. There's 2 kinds of jokes I can pull in these entries:  Something great happened, or something horrible happened. My original plan was with good fortune, and then having it be a joke. I kept imagining you guys actually being relieved that this would get me out of my intense depression, and then finding out it was a joke and being devastated. That's just not funny. My depression isn't real funny either. So basically it was just bad timing for April 1st. I actually started writing the entry as I had intended. And it broke my heart. I felt like I was back in November and on a high. It was depressing the hell out of me so I just said screw it.
 
Then on Sunday I just figured, for tradition's sake, to write a "bad" one. That was easy. I knew exactly how I'd feel if the trailer was taken. LOL. It was a half-assed entry, with none of last year's trickery to make you forget the date, but it didn't matter. Hook, line, and sinker boy. And has been the case with "Jess leaving me in 2000" and "winning the lottery in 2001", there are still some people that are only finding out NOW that the last entry was a joke. Kyle Pees...come on buddy. You gotta break this streak next year man. This is saaaaaaaaaad. Although I am proud of a lot of you. Many of you were waiting for the date just to see what I'd do next. You have learned young padawans. In the future, the April Fools Day joke has to be for the NEWBIES. We can all laugh at those who hadn't been around for the other ones. But I'm afraid some of you will never learn. So now, for our enjoyment, I present the suckers:
 
First the Instant Messages:
 

PhnxFire: Hey Adam
Adam4tvs: hey
PhnxFire: Just got your e-mail.. damn man.
Adam4tvs: no SHIT
PhnxFire: You think some fuck from your apartment complex took it?
Adam4tvs: i can't imagine it being anyone else
Adam4tvs: it's all gated
Adam4tvs: I'm so screwed though - it could've happened WEEKS ago
Adam4tvs: I hadn't checked forEVER
PhnxFire: Damn.
PhnxFire: What are you going to do now?
Adam4tvs: no clue
Adam4tvs: I may laugh though
PhnxFire: ya?
Adam4tvs: yup
PhnxFire: Why?
Adam4tvs: Follow through...
Adam4tvs: Making sure you check EVERYTHING
PhnxFire: Hmm...
PhnxFire: How's Jess doing?
Adam4tvs: alright
PhnxFire: Any better?
Adam4tvs: eh
PhnxFire: Well, no matter what happens, you've got supporters in Ohio. Doubt that helps, but there you are.
Adam4tvs: Kind've like what I said in the last paragraph
Adam4tvs: "fuck"
Adam4tvs: heh
Adam4tvs: you read that?
PhnxFire: Yup.
Adam4tvs: Well, then are you excited about starring in the next entry?
PhnxFire: ?
Adam4tvs: . . .
PhnxFire: Ah damn, I've been keeping too many late nights.
Adam4tvs: "I'll leave the rest of the "fucks" to you. You who didn't bother to read the date before you read this. Three. Straight. Years. "
PhnxFire: I read that, and didn't understand it.
Adam4tvs: LOLOL
PhnxFire: God, I need sleep.
PhnxFire: You got me, Kontras. Congratulations.
Adam4tvs: ;-)
PhnxFire: Fuck, it is NOT april already.
Adam4tvs: yeah it is!
Adam4tvs: 12:42 AM, April 1st, 2002
Adam4tvs: awwwwwwwwww yeah
PhnxFire: Well, I'm somewhat relieved, if somewhat embarrassed.
PhnxFire: Anyway, I've got to go to bed.
PhnxFire: Congratulations again.
Adam4tvs: later

 
Giddy-Up.
 
 

HondaCX500: i have to admit, the first thing i thought of was the manager....
Adam4tvs: really?
HondaCX500: yeah
Adam4tvs: WOW

 
Jesus people, you're watchin' too many movies.
I know this is Hollywood but DAAAAAAMN...
 
 

Jermendude: wow. dude. that really so sucks
Adam4tvs: yup
Jermendude: i really dont know what else to say.
Adam4tvs: yeah
Adam4tvs: the last paragraph is really the clincher
Jermendude: ironic it happened on this date. you are sure this is not just some sort of joke right?
Adam4tvs: hmmmm
Adam4tvs: yeah, it is
Adam4tvs: ;-)
Jermendude: hehe you sucl ;-)
Jermendude: i was thinking so
Jermendude: you would have said fuck
Jermendude: at least 5 million more times
Adam4tvs: lol
Jermendude: lol

 
Actually, what you read was exactly what I would've written.
Fuck has really lost it's power in my entries...
 
Now this next chick is Japaneese, so she's just learning
the stupid things we Americans think are funny...
 
 

MoonGlow540: hey there
Adam4tvs: hey
Adam4tvs: how ya been?
MoonGlow540: better than you
MoonGlow540
: sorry about the trailer
Adam4tvs: yeah
Adam4tvs: thanks
MoonGlow540: that is so horrible
MoonGlow540
: i can't even imagine
Adam4tvs: completely
MoonGlow540: wow..i'm just thinking about what i would do if someone took all of my keyboard and guitar and stuff
MoonGlow540
: wow
Adam4tvs: yeah
Adam4tvs: lemme ask you something...
Adam4tvs: do they have April 1st in Japan?
MoonGlow540: yeah...do they not in america
Adam4tvs
: LOL
MoonGlow540: what do you mean?
Adam4tvs: Is it called April Fools in Japan?
MoonGlow540: april fools?
MoonGlow540
: what?
MoonGlow540
: oh...a friend told me about that
MoonGlow540
: you try to fool some one on the first of april
MoonGlow540
: why?
Adam4tvs: LOLOL
Adam4tvs: just some stupid US tradition I guess
Adam4tvs: it's basicaly a free day
MoonGlow540: what are you laughing for?
Adam4tvs: to "get everyone you know"
MoonGlow540: oh!
Adam4tvs: it's a joke
Adam4tvs: My trailer is safe
MoonGlow540: oh
MoonGlow540
: but
MoonGlow540
: oh!
MoonGlow540
: you were fooling me!!
MoonGlow540
: ah
MoonGlow540
: wow...you are good
Adam4tvs: ;-)
MoonGlow540: i was so fooled!

 
I can't take too much pride in foolin' someone who barely
knows what the day is. Funny nonetheless...
 
 

Stellargrrl45: Hello
Adam4tvs: how-D
Stellargrrl45: um i read your thingy
Adam4tvs: yeah
Stellargrrl45: i just wanted to say sorry and i wanted to know if you had a new plan like to steal the stuff you need
Stellargrrl45: or whore your body to men
Adam4tvs: Hadn't really thought of that
Adam4tvs: hmmm...
Adam4tvs: are getting my 4tvs back worth being anally raped...
Stellargrrl45: yes
Adam4tvs: <thinking>
Adam4tvs: NO
Adam4tvs: heh
Stellargrrl45: it cant be that bad
Stellargrrl45: i say do it
Adam4tvs: You know what I say?
Adam4tvs: Read the last paragraph...
Stellargrrl45: i read it
Adam4tvs: And what did that say...
Adam4tvs: Did it hapen to mention that you should've read the date before the entry?
Stellargrrl45: no
Stellargrrl45: hmm
Stellargrrl45: should i feel stupid
Adam4tvs: "I'll leave the rest of the "fucks" to you. You who didn't bother to read the date before you read this. Three. Straight. Years."
Adam4tvs: April Fools
Stellargrrl45: im not talking to you
Adam4tvs: ;-)
Stellargrrl45: haha
Stellargrrl45: ok now its funny
Adam4tvs: You're part of a long list of suckers
Adam4tvs: so dont feel too bad
Adam4tvs: :-)
Stellargrrl45: thank you
Stellargrrl45: its kind of NOT FUNNY but im sure you had lots of fun doing it
Stellargrrl45: im still really mad
Stellargrrl45: this one was really believable

 
Who the hell thinks of PROSTITUTION as your first solution? LOL
 
Onto the E-mails:
 
 

one of these years,

this is going to come back on you somehow.....(lol)

-Stephen

 
I think everyday of my life recently is one big Karma sandwich for these.
 
 
Adam-
 
Christ, man, you're screwed. At least you're admiting the limitations of 4tvs. At least you're understanding that it's not the only direction that you can go in. I know that you'll get there eventually.
 
Well, maybe it's time to realize that you're going to have to do other things. If you're gonna make it. You don't have any explaining to do with things that aren't 4tvs. Maybe you should come back to columbus.
 
-Chris
 
Eat me ASSHOLE. Thanks for the confidence boost.
 
 
Fuck You!
-Aaron
 
Couldn't have said it better myself...
 
 

nice one, dork. you really got me. i hope everything's going well out there. happy easter and all that jazz. tim.

 
Word. See you soon...
 
 
Man I thought I was getting good and there was absolutely "NO WAY" you would "EVER" fool me again. Even my son got me on April fools-he woke me up in the morning to tell me that the storm last nite blew down our big tree in the front-I jumped from my bed to remember that there was no storm.
 

One day I will get you...................before I am too old and cranky, and can't control my bodily functions.

 

Good one,

Nick
 
Wow, you have no excuses. You were on guard and everything!
 
 

That actually ruined my day. I was so sincerely sad for you...you DICK.

 
Oooh...that stings. I don't wanna REALLY piss you guys off..
 
 

Eat shit and die Kontras. NEVER AGAIN WILL YOU GET ME.

Brian

 
RIGHT. See ya next year...
 
 
Now, getting fooled half-way through and Instant Messaging me is one thing.
Reading the whole thing, and still writing me is just mind-boggling.
 
 

You may be the most unlucky sunuva bitch I've ever known. I'm sure that's the last thing you wanna hear, but at SOME point it'll even out. That's when you'll hit it big....REALLY big. Good luck finding the asshole who took it.

Greg

 
These really are my favorite. Read the WHOLE ENTRY people.
 
Which brings us to our 3-timers club. Now most of you were "kinda" fooled all 3 years, but caught it before you made it until the end. The following 3 people bought it hook-line and sinker, all 3 years - but were actually decent enough to admit it. First up, Ron:
 
 
I'll add a few more "fucks" for you.
 
You fucking bastard, getting me all fucking worked up, ready to fucking
tell my wife about your fucking bad luck, and then you fuck with my
emotions like this? I fucking hate April Fucking Fools Day, you sick fuck.
 
There. That oughtta do it...
 
Ron
 
PS - The mood watch on my Eudora mail server is going nuts...
 
Lest us not forget 2001:
 
 
You truly are a bastard, you know that? I just woke up, read your entry
and think, "Wow, good for them." I was even going to write and tell you to
keep my share, but forget it now, bucco! I want my $100 for putting up
with this crap!
 
Ron
**** Bushnell Road
Conneaut, OH. 44030
 
And I want that check in a week, or else I come out there and take it out
of Jessica's hide (you didn't expect me to fight you, did you?)!
 
And of course the year 2000:
 
 
Uh-huh.
You bastard. You got me hook, line, and sinker.
 
Of course, I got Beth earlier today, so I guess I deserved it. I told her
around 8:00 this morning we were going into town for the "big April First
Parade in Conneaut." She was lookng around for a bag to hold candy. After
the three of us went to breakfast, Beth asked me where the parade was, and
I said, "What parade, honey?" She said, "You know, the big April First Day
Parade!"
 
I got her good.
-Ron
 
(Now see, Beth is his 7 year old daughter. That's just CRUEL)
 
Then we have Mickey. A woman so nice that she initiated the "cookie-jar" for Jess and I when we were down to our last penny in 2000. It breaks my heart to have deceived her 3 straight years. Really. It does. LOL.
 
 
Oh, you bastard...
 

Dammit, shouldn't have read that before I showered and got conscious.

You sucked me in for the third year in a row. Man, you are a bastard
by inclination, if not by birth. *tbbbbbppppttthh*
 
Mickey
 
She was even sweet about getting tricked in 2001:
 
 
Hey Adam,
 
Good April Fools' prank. The faked ticket and fortune and everything was great! Would that it had been real... I don't give a shit about getting the $100 for myself, but for what it could have done for you and Jess... ah, well. Good prank anyway.
 
Hang in there, and best of luck in all your endeavors,
Mickey
 
Ahh the original. Didn't mean to make people CRY...
 
 
Hey Adam:
Damn you and the horse you rode in on. Not funny, man. Not funny at all.
I was in tears before I got to the April fools part. That's mean. :-)
-Mickey
 
Which brings us to Kyle Pees. Now I need to say here, he's NOT a stupid man. An old salesman from CD101, great guy - but he just always ends up lookin' like a fool - HAHA. He's another one of those "didn't read the last sentence" suckers:
 
 
That sucks Adam. Good positive spin though. I suspect that you will come back to some sort of positive view point before too long. Next time you will invest in one of those nasty tire boots that the Chicago Police are so fond of putting on cars that have stayed too long at the two dollar an hour meters that they have on the streets there. I've never seen anyone defeat one of those suckers!
 
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
 
Always wondered what 100 FUCKs looked like. LOL. Now he may have gotten it THAT moment, but I think he was saying "FUCK" because of the situation. Guess I'll find out. Of course, he did the EXACT SAME THING last year, and then RE-emailed me figuring it out:
 
2001
 
 
Dude, you are amazing. I wish that I could hit the lottery. I wonder what Katy would think of my last name if I won a cool $20mil? Probably wouldn't matter then, would it?
 
Congratulations Adam!
 
It is my fondest hope for you that the 12 tickets that matched all 5 numbers each receive the $112,866 rather than having to split that number 12 ways. Either way, it will be nice to have that kind of payday! I look forward to hearing how the whole thing pans out!
Kyle
 
ONE HOUR LATER:
 
It just occurred to me that it was April Fools day yesterday...
 
KP
 
Of course in 2000, he simply emailed me with:
 
 

DICK.

 
Poor Kyle. I've so publically humiliated this guy. If you remember from CD101, he wrote a spec commercial (a spot trying to lure a client to advertise with the station) for "Macroni Grill" and I used it as a segment of "Sincerely Bad poetry". It was a bit where people submitted poetry that was written for them "sincerely" that was just awful. In fact...this is the internet and all. How 'bout we continue the laughter with making that this entry's video? LOL. True, there's no video, but the mp3 is enough. It really doesn't get much funnier than this.
 
And to round out our reactions, the email that actually made me laugh out loud:
 
 

It's a good thing you won the lottery one year ago today to be able to pay for the replacement of all that stuff! :)

Barbara

 
So there you have it. April Fools 2002. All I can say, is just WAIT until next year. God...next year. Where will I be in a year...
Adam
 APRIL 2002