- 9:10 PM, Sunday,
October 31st, 2005:
-
- Thank you Journey
Gods. My "November
to
Remember"
streak is off to a perfect start. I simply could
not have made this up.
-
- So as
I mentioned in the last entry, I was going
down to LA City Hall to support Kulak's Woodshed at
the city council meeting. Their building variance was
being appealed and there was a hearing on Wednesday. I
think Kulak's is one in a million and was happy to
give my time. The backstory Mr. Kulak told one of the
reporters is crazy...
-
- When Kulak's first
opened in 2000 the owner of an adjacent business,
Charles Peyton, was thrown out for being drunk and
"groping" some of the patrons. Chuck wasn't too
happy about this and continued trying to come in.
Restraining orders were filed and eventually Mr.
Peyton turned his energy to getting Kulak's shut down
for various building code violations.
-
- What he soon found
out however was that when you're sited for any
violation, you can pretty easily correct them. Kulak's
did this by making the place membership only, signing
an agreement with a school across the street for
parking, not having performers on after 10:30 pm, even
going so far as to applying for zoning variances to
further comply with the city. The city came out, did a
report on the establishment and granted the variance.
Chucky lost it and went to every meeting on the
variance demanding that it not pass, yet it always
did.
-
 - Tom (the guy who
spoke during my first Kulak's show) coming to the mic,
me further back.
-
- Wednesday was his
final appeal to the city to not allow the variance and
in turn shut down Kulak's Woodshed. He brought his
peeps, we brought ours, and we both had 5 minutes to
speak to the council and give our side. The outcome
was hardly in doubt as Charlie immediately shot
himself in the foot by attacking one of the city
council women and generally being overly dramatic
clearly showing his personal vendetta. Truth was,
Kulak's had gone by the book and the city knew
it...hell they wrote the report for cryin' out loud.
Peyton lost his appeal, the variance was approved
12-0.
-
- ~* ~
summoning the power of the Journey
Gods...STRIKE NOW!! ~* ~
-
 - Charles
Peyton is also known as Jeff Stryker, legendary gay
porn-star.
-
- Oh man, don't give
me this ammo. He not only slams Kulak's ad nauseum on
his website, but he links to his other
full-time job and I've never smiled bigger. Speaking
of big, he really is a legend in the field. He's in
the Hustler Hall of Fame. As well as his
action-figure, he has his own "life-like" dildo. Dude
has a stamp, a legitimate stamp, in the Netherlands.
!??! However he will never be mistaken for a scholar.
Try perusing charlespeyton.com
if you want to feel like a kindergarten teacher
grading papers. Look at these two
sentences:
-
- "Stryker has
ventured into the world of Major motion pictures on
several occasions in Major motion pictures. In 1999
Rosa Von Pronheim's "May I be your Bratwurst
Please" starring yours truly. Other bodies of film
he jeff stryker, jeff stryker used his birth name
and co-starred in to test his acting ability as
someone other then."
-
- STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD.
YOU MUST NEVER AGAIN ATTEMPT TO CONNECT
A GROUP OF WORDS.
YOU ARE OFFENDING THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.
STOP. PLEASE.
-
- Heh.
-
- Of course
I had to download some movies. Not only does he
look like Dirk Diggler (in all aspects) but it's that
old-school 80's, bad dialogue, goofy situation porn
that is friggin' HILARIOUS. There was no way in hell
I wasn't using some of this for the entry...but
folks, it's not over.
-
- I had to wait
until today to get the replay of the footage of the
city council meeting as the re-running on Wednesday
never happened. Then, while editing together the video
I found yet another gem on Jeff's website. This,
this is just wonderful:
-
 -
- Dear Journey
Gods,
-
- Listen,
I appreciate what you're trying to do. You
certainly step in every now and then and provide
outstanding material for my life and I simply
don't know where I'd be without you. However,
making the gay porn-star have a country single
entitled: "Pop you in the Pooper" is really
too much. And his band is called the
"Soggy-Bottomed Boyz"? Come on guys. What would
possess you to go that far?
-
- Anyway, keep
up the good work, but in the future please try to
stay within the realm of reality. I'm aware this is
La-La Land, but even Hollywood wouldn't take such
liberties.
-
- Thanks
again,
- Adam
- I hope you're
laughing, because I can't stop. Of course I'm
giving you an mp3
of the song, and of course it's in the
video.
Hell I was happy using grunts and gay porn with
today's entry video and the guy hands me an original
song?!?! Man, there's this singer/songwriter venue he
should play that at...
-
- BADA-BING!
LOL.
-
- You'd better
believe I'm going to write a parody song about our new
friend and premiere it at Kulak's. Most likely it'll
be a week from tomorrow on the 14th. Sometimes life
just hands you the funny...the Gods do help
though...
-
- Adam
-
- FEEDBACK
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