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YouTube link added 01.31.09
8:55 PM, Wednesday, September 27th, 2006:
And of course the most difficult woman in the world just called me to have coffee. The fact that that just happened during me writing this entry all but assures we will soon be married with children. Poor girl, doesn't she realize the power of The Journey Gods!?!?

-Adam Kontras, tempting the Gods, September 20th, 2006

The audacity and sincere jest of that paragraph was obvious to all who read it, but I'm certain a few of you thought:  "I can't believe he just wrote that". And why did you have that reaction? Because you know this Journey better than I do. You know damn well there is magic within these pages which I guess is why I even threw that out there. I knew that I was writing, without a doubt, the biggest entry that has ever been posted, and her timing at the end was Journey-riffic. A week later we can no longer pretend that my ridiculous assertion a week ago hasn't now crossed our minds, hearts, souls and even words. To avoid writing about it for fear of looking stupid at some later date goes against everything I believe in - and in all honesty would be an outright lie. This has been my week so far in New York, CBS has been the secondary story, and The Journey needs to reflect that.
Show of hands who knew that the second I mentioned a woman was difficult you rolled your eyes and took bets.
 I loved being difficult.
And with that, Donna marks her territory in much the same way she marked me that Tuesday night. Being difficult.
And it was just so damn easy too...
Let me also say, as I said in that entry... I was in NO mood for any shit. For fuck's sake I just wanted to sit and drink coffee with someone and celebrate the fact I was on TV the next day. Instead I get the wall of Jericho (heh, we know how that ended) when I asked ANYTHING about her life. And whhhhhyyyyyy was she so certain not to tell me anything?
...oh I don't know, you've got a website showing EVERYTHING?
I swear to Shizzle this site has become such a monstrosity that it's impossible to actually get to know anyone without it being the #1 obstacle.
You sent me the link for God's sake which first of all impressed me (the central park video stood out), but then it just intimidated the crap out of me. And I thought you really expected me to read the whole fuckin thing and I'm thinking "How am I gonna study this boy and then meet him 2 days later". So I read a couple of entries, then gave up and figured I'd meet him in person.
Where I made the biggest mistake of our 1 second relationship.
That fucking suit. Honestly my first impression was let me run the fuck out of here.
Let it be noted, that Donna has a South African accent (between you and me it's british, but if I say that I'll get stabbed with her pen again) and for some reason when she says "fuck" it's cute. But yes, I was wearing a suit because I thought it was fun to play the part of "important person" when you're getting flown to New York to be on National television. Had I only known my pajama top, army jacket and black cap...
...would've been sexier.
I can't help but smile that somehow my pajama top shirt that has a hole in it, my pants that have a hole in them, the black cap that has been sewn to my head since I was 15 and my beat up black shoes would've been more of a turn-on than a stylin' suit and hair gel.
You know it baby.
Of course that night she took one look at me, sighed, proceeded to immediately take off her nice shoes and throw on flip-flops because she knew this was going nowhere.
I just saw this banker boy who was strutting around as if he owned Manhattan....
I can DO THAT?!?!?! WOW. I'm a better actor than I thought.
...and I thought there's about as much chance of him getting me into that hotel room as me keeping those high heels on further than one block. So the walls came up as I watched him looking around at everything but me.
Fuckin' hell. FIRST of all - it was not my intention to get anyone in that hotel but ME, 'cause there was NO way I was losing a night's sleep the day before my National Television debut. Smirk all you want, but that wasn't happening. And the REASON I was looking around at everyting but you was because I was attracted to you and was embarrassed at gazing. That wasn't strutting, that was a defense mechanism dear. However we eventually sat and talked and I got more comfortable and then... here she comes...
Well you got more comfortable, and I got more uncomfortable as you just saw right through all my bullshit. I didn't want to tell you a DAMN thing and I ended up telling you pretty much my life story. You have that maddening effect on me.
I was in a pretty funny mood actually. Although it occured to me, "Hey, 3 weeks in NY, this could be fun..." all I could really give 2 shits about was CBS and instead of playing along with your constant contradictions I just pointed them out and watched you squirm.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
I finally got to a point where I was ready to leave. I made it very clear that I could not spend time with someone and be superficial. I had 3 weeks in my favorite city in the world, and as cute as you were I wasn't gonna sit and talk about the weather.
You said 3 weeks and I was thinking: "He doesn't even have 3 hours".
LOL - so why the hell did you talk to ME for 6 friggin' hours?
Well I had to prove that I was A) right, B) smarter than you and C) right again.
Steeeeeeeeerike 3! You're Out! Oh wait, do they have baseball in South Africa?!?!
Go fuck your mother.
I can't write that Donna. But the way you say it just makes me laugh. But really do they play baseball in South Africa?
We're cultured.
Right. How do you cure AIDS in South Africa again?
(laughing) Well, our minister of health suggested 2 tablespoons of olive oil every morning...
(She's not kidding folks)
...because she thinks that HIV does not cause AIDS. But that doesn't go for all South Africans.
Only the dead ones apparently. What the fuck huh? Anyway we didn't quite hit it off and I was fairly certain I wouldn't hear from her again. However I will say this: when she fucked up and let down her guard? Fascinated. When she slipped up and told me about her life? Enamored. I couldn't help but be a bit sad that there was someone so incredible sitting in front of me, with a wonderful opportunity in front of her, yet she was dead set on being in her own head. But, as you all know (ahem, the "alaurs") I've been down that road, and you just cannot make someone change.
The irony is that I did see exactly what was in front of me but because I wasn't used to someone pointing out exactly where my bullshit lay, I was afraid to show it. Let's be honest, someone looking right through you seeing what you've been desperately hiding for 28 years is pretty fuckin' intimidating and yet incredibly exciting.
I will admit that when I said goodnight and went up to my room it was really a perfect scenario for me. I knew I wasn't gonna play a game of cat and mouse again and if this woman really saw potential to change her way of thinking - she could always contact me.
You left me saying:  "Call me..." but then gave me this funny look that said: "You're not gonna call me". And all I wanted to say was "Of course I'm gonna call you..."
Knowing you the short time I did, I really thought you would wake up the next morning, get scared of all that being with me, even as friends, would mean (dealing with all your bullshit) and runnnnnnnn. I was pleasantly surprised when you called the next day... and went for coffee with you (this time in my normal clothes, STILL having no idea the suit bothered you so much)...
(I was like "Where was this guy last night?")

...heh, I met you assuming that you calling meant you were ready to just let go of all your bullshit and just get to know each other...

(snicker) That's what you get for assuming. I made a ground rule saying that if I have to let down my walls, then you can NEVER write ANYTHING about me EVER.
Let me put this another way: "Yes Adam, I will allow you to show me how wonderful life can be as long as you make certain to not enjoy any part of it. Fair enough?" Needless to say, I just giggled at her. I had no problem respecting her privacy, but I knew it was soooooooo much deeper than that. It's not that I'm addicted to writing everything - believe it or not there's several things that aren't on the site - but falling in love? Yeah, that kinda lends itself to a song or two. Or I don't know... LETTERS? Words? Sentences? Maybe I just knew even then that you were going to fall madly in love with me and that there was no way I couldn't write about THAT.
Well maybe you're just too smart for your own good. I had no idea. Absolutely no idea. All I saw was my fear and all you saw were my possibilities.
So we kinda just let it go. Just got to know each other and over the next several days proceeded to talk more than I have ever spoken with a human being EVER. No exagerration.
Yes the waitresses at every place we went to just stood over us waiting for us to leave.
No shit. Coffee? 3 hours. Dinner? 5 hours. Subway ride all across the city? No problem!!! More time to talk. OOOh and I bought you your very first brownie AND LATTE!!
Now I'm an American.
A highly energetic American. We didn't stop talking until 4 AM. And that soon became the norm. I honestly believe we talked a minimum of 14 hours a day? I've just never been so fascinated with someone in my entire life - and you just got me. I didn't have to force anything. I was me, it clicked with something inside you, and I watched someone literally transform.
It was such an easy transformation. I feel like I can just be myself with you because you really respond to me as I am and not as I had censored myself to be.
I just respond. I just react. It is as effortless as anything I've ever experienced. It is as natural and simple as I've ever known something to be. I feel appreciated on every level and with everything else that has gone on this week, can any of you reading even comprehend all of this? Heh. My favorite city in the world, days spent running from place to place and connecting with an amazing person. The promise of the CBS pitch... I've just never known a happier time.
Fighting huge fear, going against everything I've believed for 28 years, having it pointed out that I'm full of shit and that I'm stubborn and wrong and not the smartest person alive - yes, yes, HAPPY HAPPY times :) !!!!!! But being allowed to discover myself with someone is WONDERFUL and then to cuddle into that someone's arms and have him love me even though I gave him LOADS of shit - well, I feel like the luckiest person alive.
I know the feeling. What will happen next?
Adam & Donna
PS - The video will probably explain the title...and if you're a Frank Zappa fan you'll think I'm a genius. :-) I made a transcript as the echo in that stairwell makes it difficult to hear. Oh and I assure you that I'm fascinated with more of her than her accent, but you'll have to leave that to your imagination.