(click the picture above for the high definition video - but also click YouTube for me!)
3:51 PM, Friday, January 18th, 2008:
At least I'm honest. Actually, at most I'm honest...
11:13 PM, Saturday, January 20th, 2007:
I could start this entry like the old Adam (circa anytime before September 2006) by saying I may never live a cooler day than I did on Thursday. That I'm savoring every moment, every picture, every second of video footage because it may never happen again, but the truth is - I no longer believe that. I'm still savoring every moment but it's because I'm having the absolute time of my life and can't help but giggle at the surreal audacity of seeing this character I've read about for 7 years on my computer screen mixed with television history. That man sitting in the audience up there knows damn well what he's on the verge of, and he's enjoying every second of it.
In reality, that's the only thing that keeps this Journey worth reading. If I held back my emotions or my heart when things were good, what would be the point? They say never count your chickens, but we all do. Here, I never really counted, but with a project like "The Journey", you have no choice but to try and put things in perspective. It's an amazing entry if you haven't had a chance to check it out.
That perspective was hard to deny man. Talk about the whirlwind. I'm just getting over the fact that I'm doing The Trinitrons at CBS and I throw out an email to Jim about doing a small bit on the Price is Right set and it turns into all this? And then sweet JESUS what is about to happen in 3 weeks? It's overwhelming, and I'm so happy I didn't hide that as much as it hurts now.


And how can you not be a little shaken at just where you stand a year later. Even more spectacular? It went up from here. What's about to happen to me 3 weeks later blows the lid off everything. And you could literally, feel it, on this day one year ago. It's heartbreaking. Such a huge part of me wants to hide from this. I'm writing this from INSIDE the eggshell. And although I can never truly admit it to my heart, my mind knows damn well this could be a pinnacle of my career I never reach again.

Scary isn't it? Now if I truly believed that, I could never continue. There'd be no Young & The Restless bit, Up & Adam bit, Aunt Jemima bit - those are only possible with "hope". But I'm not stupid. I understand the events that lead to that moment a year ago, and I understand how little control I had over them.
Once I was in? Well, it was all me - I pushed the limits as far as I could. I had the courage and leadership to make things happen, but getting in can be a once in a lifetime thing. And whether I believed it or not at the time - that's why you take pictures. Heh. That's why you save things as goofy as CBS parking passes and the showcase showdown cards Bob read from because you just "neva kno". Oh and to the "schemers" out there, this is what they give you after you're OK'd on the lot. Printing this up and photoshoping dates ain't gettin' you in. Sorry. :-)

Strangely, I'm not really depressed about this landmark. Interesting. And I don't think it's delusional either. The thing is, you can't take this away from me. Ever. You can't take the day away, the pictures away, the trinkets away, the memories away - and most importantly the finished bit. And in my heart of hearts, I know that although a year later it hasn't lead to anything - this doesn't expire. It's cemented in time and will always be impressive. It has a role somewhere in this real-time book that I'm writing, I just don't know it right now.

Faith is fuggin' crazy isn't it? LOL. I'm just laughing at what I'm writing right now. I think I'm just amazed I actually HAVE faith after all of this. It's extraordinary that after this Journey I haven't given it up. You know? I'm just now getting a grasp on why people even continue to follow this...
...it's 'cause I don't stop. You could stop reading for 2 years, come back - and know that you're gonna see something cool/creative/unique. Nothing seems to really phase me. Well, I take that back - I'm phased by a change in temperature, but it never truly interrupts my core. Weird huh? Man this is an eye-opening entry for me. I mean, looooook at all of this shit... I  just keep on creatin'. More and more and more and more.
I mean look at this month. It's still filled with that... god what is it, what's the word... hunger? Fight? Man, I can't put my finger on it but it's the intangible quality that makes this thing fun to read. It's the same thing I had at 18 when I was cutting up my Billy Joel tape covers to make my own cover. This unabashed creativity that strives and fights without stopping. And I just love the color/design change every year because everything feels new again. It's what drives me nuts about other blogs. That ugly-ass layout that never attaches itself to the side of your brain that has an emotional connection with color/sound/video/pictures - it's so powerful.
I too am big and yearning for your click...
Then again, the entire blogging world disagrees with me - but they're much more "in the moment" as I'm trying to put together something that will resonate years from now. I still think they'd be well seved to have add a bit more "form" to their function.

Anyway, this was a huge moment a year ago today. It takes a great deal of "vision" to not look depressingly on what did or didn't happen as a result of that, but I do have that vision... somewhere. Heh. But hey, it's a great lesson to everyone reading just how up & down this industry really is. I mean, it's unbelieveable. It takes so much more than talent, perseverence and as I've found out in the last year - even more than content.

And that's really what this taught me. A year ago I would've said without question that CBS would lose their minds when they saw this finished bit. And had you told me the second season of Living Room Live was all done with The Egos out of their TVs...

...I would've been certain 100% that of course it would lead to more. And I couldn't have been more wrong. Ha! You can do everything right, better than right, and if you don't have the right people behind you at the right time? Nada. Scary ain't it?
But what a great day. I'm glad I have the memories and all these pics and videos and trinkets. It's something that I guarantee people with careers far beyond mine would die to have. I mean who has ever shot a short-film on the Barker set of The Price is Right? God that rocks...
...and it will lead to something. Ya gotta believe. Spencer believes...

Ha. Love it. Man, Spencer is so much funnier flabby. Spencer and Cam should be a little pudgy. Dewey and Gary are good thin, but oh well. I ain't gainin' this shit back for NO ONE. Tyson can do the latex job on me. :-)