- 12:12 PM,
Thursday, January 17th, 2019:
- It's really
messin' with my head just how busy the last 12 months
have been for RentTheDelorean. And we've NEVER had a
back to back road-trip like this before...
I know this screams first world problems
and I got into this last year with this
- The difference
between then and now is that I actually did figure out
the stalling/starting issue as I mentioned in this
- ...but I still
feel the sense of dread and "completely fucking over
it" when it comes to this car and this job. We've now
done 380 gigs? I mean... 380, 480, 580... what does it
matter? I STILL cannot spend this money for
fear the car explodes again, or the business just
stops and I will need a safety net so as it was
before: being successful with this business doesn't
improve my life. It takes me away from my
- Talya being with
me helped A BUNCH and next month we're doing it
with the kids (which should be interesting) but the
real story is I'm just soft now. Or maybe? Maybe it's
that I'm never truly "off". I take a week off and
I'm still answering the calls and often losing HUGE
gigs because I'm out of town. I could just turn my
head and ignore the money, but whew... it feels like
it's all a paper mansion about to be set ablaze.
- I know
I shouldn't even write this but if and when the
car blows up again and I have to call it a day?
I'll be relieved. That's strangely what I dream
of sometimes. As long as it's working, it's my
responsibility to make the money for my family and
take every opportunity. If something happens out of my
control... where I have no choice but to move on? Oh
wow. That's a dream...
- ...AND I GUARANTEE 3
MONTHS LATER MAKING NO MONEY I WOULD BE LIKE ADAM!
YOU CRAZY FUCK!
YOU HAD IT ALL!
THE GRASS AINT GREENER BITCH.
- That's my life. At
least I'm aware of the angles.