7:42 AM, Friday, August 26th, 2016:
And I wake up this morning on the other side of the hill.
Exactly. Day one of the second half. For the man that counts everything, yes I really did work all these numbers out. As a kid I dreamt my death date as July 13th, 2057. Strange, right? Strange because it's a pretty plausible date as I'd be 81. Strange because I've never forgotten it.

A couple years ago I decided to work out the exact date I hit the mid-point. One of the various things I do during my bouts of insomnia... ended up it was August of 2016. But I wanted it down to the DAY. THE MUTHAFUCKIN MINUTE BITCHES. lol
81 years 9 months 4 days - July 13th, 2057 - Day 29,863
40 years 10 months 16 days - August 25th, 2016 - Day 14,931
1:44am on August 26th, 2016 is the exact mid-point (14931.5) if I die at July 13th, 2057 at 1:44pm
Of course the flaw in this is that because day 29,863 is an odd number, we have to guess a halfday mid-point (and guess that I die EXACTLY the minute I was born) which ended up being 1:44am this morning. Now the irony of all this anal number crunching is yesterday I completely fucking forgot it was my mid-day because I was so busy with life...
...except that's also the beauty, is it not? Life is moving at such a pace these days it gives new meaning to "Can't Slow Down". A song I wrote (conicidentally) half my life ago when I was a talk show host and trying to put a CD together and a wedding, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera... 20 years later it's no different. I am productive at a blistering pace and it truthfully hasn't waned. So what's different?
My sense of urgency is different. I can't say it's waned really, because if I have an idea nearly all of my energy gets sucked into the vortex and I'm knocking it out with a true sense of urgency... but it lacks the FEAR that it used to have. In my 20s, the drive was based in this need to "make it". To be true to these talents and find the feeling of recognition on a greater level. At 40 I know that's just completely out of my control. Even when you get that recognition? It's fleeting. It's a MOMENT. And then it is IMMEDIATELY replaced with the next level. That doesn't change. You're either a "Gonna be" or a "has been" REPEATEDLY throughout your life. If it's in you? What you're "gonna be" next comes quickly and you can move forward.
THAT wasn't always in me. It's an extremely difficult process for someone with as many abilities as I have to navigate what the next move is supposed to be. My home life has also never been as stable as it is right now. There was very little joy outside of pursuing my career for a good 15 year stretch and therein lies the issue: if your only happiness is when your career is working? Boy are you fucked in showbiz. Never has that been more apparent than this year: certain stretches of entries this year area as OLD SCHOOL Journey as you can GET. It's like they were plucked out of 2007 and inserted into 2016 and surrounding them? Bliss. I care JUSSSSSSSST enough to chronicle it because I feel some loyalty to this project after all these years... but I can't WAIT to turn off the computer and go to dinner with Talya or play with my kids or build some shit. And contrary to popular belief - the happy home life hasn't killed my dreams, it's actually allowed me to have a clear mind while continuing to chase them.
But more than anything the difference is obvious: I'm more mature. Things are weighted differently because I've experienced more. It's all relative. In your 20s things hold different weight because you've never been down that path. Or you've never been in love... or you've never gotten a deal... and so on and so on. Once you have it feels like you're playing with house money. I'm happy either way.
What has absolutely remained the same however is that from a logical standpoint? I have the pieces to be on TV/film, etc. I still have the looks, the drive, the acumen, it's there. It hasn't diminished... I could argue with age it's actually gotten better. GolfKon is just another way people are "Hearing My Thoughts" (a CD title of mine in 1998)... the uniqueness is still within every step at GolfKon, now it's just in a physical world. It's hard not to be inspired by that. It's hard not to believe that this keeps leading to things.

The wondrous thing at this age is I don't have that incessant need to define it. Hell I said this in my 20s! I remember a 2003 drinking video saying to just "Create My Future" and not worry about the rest... but it was nearly impossible with my home life so unstable. How can I bring that up without linking it. LOL:
Jesus I look the same. Man that's weird. In person you can see some age... but to go half your life, a full 20 years and look damn near identical? Is spooky. I mean, this is 1995. I'm 19 or 20...
This is 2016:
I'm very fortunate. It's LA, man. It's the one thing I do actually fear: getting the big opportunity and having it fall during one of my FAT moments. It forces me to stay fit and keep a healthy range of weight because at ANY time, the phone can ring and shit changes immediately.
I guess you could say that at my mid-day moment I'm pretty damned happy. I cannot wait to see what happens next. Yesterday was sitting in my new workshop, having a drink and listening to Stevie Wonder before going to help Talya put the kids to bed...
Today? Hopefully more of the same...