"My
heart overflows w/ gratitude that I can create &
perform daily."
The mantra of
every artist. The more we create, the calmer we are,
the happier we are and the easier it is to focus on
others. Without this ability we would be searching for
meds. So many artists are unaware that the key to
their happiness really does lie within. And
I feel infinitely blessed that I have a forum for
life in order to express my thoughts, share my songs,
and capture moments in my life with video. It's why I
enjoy other artists as well, because you're sharing
their moment of peace. And even though I have
preferences for the art I like? I appreciate all
of it. It takes an immense amount of vulnerability to
produce it, and even more to share it. The same person
that wrote the above quote, wrote this earlier in the
day:
"Artists are
masters at filtering and distilling ideas.
That’s what makes them artists. They are able
to take differentiate between a worthwhile creative
product and one that is not. The false artist
merely dumps out the contents of his head and
offers it up for public
consumption.
“I’m
an artist. I must create!”
Well, OK,
but why should the world be subject to and care
about your waste products? Be an artist, practice a
craft, and give us something meaningful. Don’t
just think if it mattered to you it will matter to
an audience. Create art to communicate, not
masturbate. Be an artist, not a
hack."
Uhm. Jesus. Forget
everything I just said. LOL. "give us something
meaningful?" Telling artists how they should create?
Who takes themselves this seriously? I will never
understand artists that do this to fellow artists.
Especially someone who would do this to me (yes, this
is from drama queen's blog) considering
I actually do have an audience. In reality
however, she's trying to make the point that "The
Journey" isn't art...
...however, it
took "The Journey" to get this:
The Journey is
simply documenting a process. A process most artists
hide because they feel it's not good enough to share.
I don't have that fear. I create more good by
erasing that fear. At the end of a year, I can
pick out dozens of videos, songs or entries that
I am immensely proud of. And out of those, maybe
one or two I would ever try to sell or turn into
something sellable. Without the Journey, I may
have a lifetime of 3 or 4 ideas - total. Because I
squelched seeds of ideas because they weren't
finished. Hell, even "Naive Again" is unfinished. I'm
singing into a video camera for fuck's sake... but
it's my number one selling song on iTunes. Had I
waited until it was "finished" that would've made me a
crazy person. That's a song you have to get out, share
and move on from. You think I could ever be as happy
as I am now with that shit still inside me? Without
"The Journey" I never would've made
this...
Is that any less
art because that's not my melody? Can you not be an
artist unless you create every single part? Without
"The Journey" there would never be a video that Talya
and I will cherish the rest of our
lives...
I was told
that was an inappropriate video to share with the
public. If neither Talya and I believe that's true, is
it? Is that video not art? Does it not evoke emotion?
People I've never met wrote to me saying they were in
tears. It simply wouldn't exist if not for "The
Journey". Is this only artistic because of the set I
was on?
Does it matter
that millions of people saw that bit on CBS? Does that
determine what art is? Does it matter that I played
every character, set up the camera shots and edited
the whole thing myself? Would a real artist not be
caught dead doing that? Several improv people have
told me quite pointedly that TV or internet isn't real
art. Their art is, because it's live. It's pure. Is
this video not pure?
The rawest, most
pure moment of my life. Having gotten Comedy Central,
finally allowing myself to breathe and let it sink in
on the other side of the planet. Any idea how hard it
was to share that with people? Not according to some.
To some, that's complete masturbation. To which I will
always reply:
Duh. All art is at
the core.
My friend David
said it better than I ever have when he
said: "Art is either masturbation or
prostitution". If you think you're really important or
your art is really important? You cannot accept that
sentence. It goes against the core of everything you
think you are. It might even 'cause you to lash out at
people that believe that way...
"Artists are
masters at filtering and distilling ideas.
That’s what makes them artists. They are able
to take differentiate between a worthwhile creative
product and one that is not. The false artist
merely dumps out the contents of his head and
offers it up for public
consumption.
“I’m
an artist. I must create!”
Well, OK,
but why should the world be subject to and care
about your waste products? Be an artist, practice a
craft, and give us something meaningful. Don’t
just think if it mattered to you it will matter to
an audience. Create art to communicate, not
masturbate. Be an artist, not a
hack."
The truth is, the
woman writing this is very funny and very talented.
She's also my age. In this town as a male? That's 2
strikes against ya, but as a woman? In the majority of
cases it is 3. It's an incredibly difficult time for
artists because often they have to look in the mirror
and figure out what they're gonna do for the rest of
their lives. They are spinning. They lash out, they
get depressed, they alienate themselves... they are
incredibly unhappy. Then, enter me.
I've never been
happier in my life. Look at this year. How boringly
happy have Talya and I been? How many more sappy love
songs can a man write (oh, tons more. LOL). I'm also
completely at peace with my career. Something she
clearly isn't. I'm proud of my successes and
failures and am overjoyed at how wonderful my
relationships are with my exes. We don't consider them
failures, we consider them incredible successes, just
slightly unconventional (oh, she can't
STAND that). The bottom line is? This is what
happens when you are open about all of your
skeletons... and (gasp) aren't embarrassed. The people
that can't face theirs? Go fucking bonkers. I dance
openly with my skeletons from the moment I meet
you and holy shit does it put a mirror up to those
that can't deal with theirs. Which is why I say
unequivocally to her:
<hug>
<love, love, love>
I've never
disliked you. There's a reason we cooked dinner for
you, came to your show and went to your party. Talya
and I both liked you. I especially felt a
closeness with you because we were both from Ohio and
came out here with a bunch of funny and a bunch of
talent. Had you ever stopped talking about yourself
(something I understand was a defense mechanism,
but still a huge barrier to communication) you
would've found that the things we have in common are
extraordinary. I've read your blogs and honestly felt
I could've helped you be a little less hard on
yourself. By the second "I look fat" stream of
consciousness onstage at your improv show (as well as
a few references on your facebook pictures that you
thought you were fat) it seemed clear to me that you
really are struggling with the pressures of this town
and if you stop the schtick long enough to connect?
You'll find friends ready to help you out. Now,
I could obviously be wrong, but in my experience
happy people don't react like you have. Happy people
don't tell others the "right" way to share their
art. Happy people don't call other artists hacks...
they simply choose not to listen or view it. Your
blogs are raging and judgmental because they reflect
who you are. Hopefully you keep those blogs up and
look at them again when you are in a better place.
They should absolutely stun you. I know mine have
years later (hint: that's the therapeutic side of The
Journey). And as long as they aren't edited? They are
a pristine window into your soul at that moment. The
real test is whether you can keep them up once you've
grown from them, especially knowing anyone can just
grab that moment and use it against you while ignoring
everything after. Of course if they do that, you'll
grow from that too. It's kinda magical. :)
Happiness begets
happiness, and misery loves company. It's no doubt now
why you spent more time with Talya when she was
postively miserable in her last relationship. Just
wish you could've recognized how hard we worked at
maintaining the friendship once we were happy. There's
always room for more happy people. A bit harder to
constantly fight "blue, blue and blue". And with that
I give you the fireworks at the Hollywood
Bowl:
