5
 
 
Entry locked until 05.10.10
 
Entry #1033
 
7:07 PM, April 30th, 2010:
 
"That's a Palm Tree. And that's a Swimming Pool"
 
The memorable line from Entry #3 rings in my head every time there's a windy day and my ASS-CLOWN PALM TREE decides to spit out 50 leaves. Or whatever the hell you call these massive, prickly - impossible to cut, shitty sons of bitches that spew from what is apparently a retarded version of palm tree as my neighbor's palm tress are all intact.
 
(sigh) Clearly, I'm a little frustrated right now. Damnit, am I gonna have to lock this too? UGGGGH. Yes. It'll all be unlocked soon enough - but I'm just so on edge every second because of M****. Obviously it's not all her, but the little things now make me want to lose my mind. I mean, it's funny I should act all pissed about the palm trees because truth be told? It's been the best part of my year. At least there's DIRECTION with that. I gather them up - cut them up - and burn them. Voila. It's a fuckton of work that if I had any money I could call someone to come cart away, but I understand the process. No my real frustration comes with my present situation which even though we've called it quits - continues to drive me to such anger that I'm actually scared. It's coming to an end, she's interviewing in Nashville next week and this should all finally be over - but motherfucking fuck...
 
...let's just say it's the palm tree leaves. OMFG they're so PRICKLY. Why? Why is this necessary in nature? Why the fuck can't they just chill with nature? Why do they have to be so big and prickly all the time? Are they being stolen? Did they evolve like this out of some need to ward off attackers? Clearly they're a defense mechanism of sorts, but I want to yell - LET DOWN THE PRICKLY WALL. I'm not gonna HURT YOU. DAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
 
No symbolism there. (sigh). The video is filled with it however...
 
 
Why I bother to put in allusions that harken back to the 90s is beyond me. No one will get it. That song is "Movin' On" from my 1998 CD:  "Hearing My Thoughts". It was a song about a guy on a deserted paradise island having hallucinations in each verse, and then realizing it's a hallucination and thinking he's gonna die (thus the chorus of "Movin' On"). Catchy little tune with a dark meaning. And in this case since the "island palm" tree is anything but a paradise... I played it backwards. 'Cause I'm taking the branches/leaves/whateverthefuck and burning them. Yeah. How special. You're brilliant. You hit "reverse" on the audio timeline. Where's your WEBBY.
 
(sigh)
 
Everything bores me now about The Journey. Fuck art. Fuck Palm trees. Fuuuuuuuuuuck.
 
Adam