Amazingly, in a
show of personal restraint the romantic in me has
never had, we still haven't met and probably won't
this entire trip. The reason? Too intense with only
one thing guaranteed: it will simply make us lonelier
in the end. However we have brought up the scenario of
just meeting on the last day... but I'm really, really
struggling with whether that's a good idea. All I can
say is, the connections are really that intense --
even without meeting -- that it feels like once we do
there's no turning back. And I'm just not ready for
that scenario.
But what a set-up
huh? All this fuckin' intrigue, the insanity of
Christmas Eve, the understanding afterwards... and all
before we've ever met? It's a testament to love in the
21st Century for sure. There's no real distance with
video phoning and free cell minutes. Our hearts have
no idea we've never actually touched. Other parts are
well aware however, and that's why meeting seems like
a cruel taunt to something that in reality could never
turn into anything more. I really am at a loss for how
to go about this.
In the meantime
I'm seeing friends and family and am actually very
relieved I didn't see her at the beginning of my trip.
I know I would've blown everyone off and I would
regret that. I need to focus on me for a bit, need to
not try and live up to some lofty set of expectations
that inevitably envelop me at the same time. But you
know what the funny thing is? I still end up
connecting with the next person on some level as well.
It's never the same, but it's like I get to the meat
of all the relationship could be within a matter of
hours. Sometimes it ends up being more "fun",
sometimes it ends up really moving both of us, opening
our eyes a bit... sometimes it leads to a future
potential, and sometimes as is the case with the
current situation... it's too intense for either of us
to handle. But there's very little "game playing"
involved. In fact, none. I don't have time for it, I
don't enjoy it, and I will not do it.
All of
which brought me to a song from my teen
years that I just loved: "Forever For
Now". I ended up stealing the title for
one of my original songs (as you can hear
in the beginning and end of the last entry
video) but Harry Connick Jr.'s is far more
interesting. It keeps popping into my head
because I'm literally 4 or 5 exits away
from this woman. So, "Meet me at the
corner of Close & Soon" and the whole
"Forever for Now" theme is just beating me
over the head nearly 20 years later.
Watching this clip now, the man is really
ahead of his time. He wrote this song. I
think someone else did the lyrics, but
that's what so many people never got about
Harry - he was trying to create a new
movement in that style and it's why
Michael Buble always seems like more of a
mimic to me.
And trust me,
that's coming from someone who oftentimes plays the
mimic. LOL. Connick is spec-fucking-tacularly talented
and this song in particular really, really holds up 20
years later. It feels modern and classic at the same
time.
Seems rather
fitting for this 21st Century love story doesn't it?
What a way to end a year.
