- 10:29 AM,
Saturday, August 16th, 2008:
-
- Well newcomers are
getting a well-rounded dose of Journey-life this
month. Goofy song, infuriating locked entries (ETA on
their unlocking about 2 weeks) and now, my favorite -
RANDOMS. WAHOO. Randoms (and all
of 'em are housed
here if you
enjoy this) are simply my way of puking out all I've
digested since the last randoms. Things that aren't
full entries but I just gotta get 'em out. So - let's
get goin':
-
- Oh, and I'm giving
them titles now. As much as I hate you skimmers, I
certainly love to help you don't I?
-
- 1) Mental Phone
Midgets
-
- Why, when your
battery is low on your cell phone, does it insist
on actions that further deplete said battery? It's
this sort of built in hypocrisy in life that makes
me postal. My Razr takes it to a whole new level.
I'm a vibrate man myself, and when the battery is
low - it insists on vibrating - one
loooooooooooooooooooooooooooong 4-5 second beep
which I pick up out of habit, then see "Low
Battery". Well it's fucking low now isn't it? It's
like telling you your health is low in a videogame
- by STABBING you in the face. Or a doctor telling
you your leg is broken by beating it with a tire
iron. It's beyond frustrating... and there's
probably a really simple way to change the long
vibrate to a quick "dot" vibrate but why mess up
the random? :)
-
- 2) Speaking of
Mental Midgets...
-
- John Edwards.
Johhhhhhn Edwards. I have preached about
politicians for years and how we shouldn't judge
them in the bedroom or with their relationships -
but when Edwards defended the affair by mentioning
his wife was in REMISSION? That blew my ever-lovin'
mind. I mean this guy is making Spitzer look like a
champion of the poor and downtrodden because he
paid his whore so well. And the whole "...but I'm
not the father"/two days later she says "no
paternity test" turn of events is just soooooooo
bad. First of all, pull it out brother. Like, I
don't want to get graphic here - but just deposit
your money elsewhere. You're cheating on your
cancer-stricken wife, the least you can do is a
pearl necklace. <---so funny. I gotta say, be on
suicide-watch for this. I know people with his ego
usually don't go down that path, but he's literally
losing everything by the minute. It's one of the
more astounding political falls I've ever
witnessed.
-
- 3) Barack and
Forth
-
- My fellow
online political junkie friend is recently
realizing how much politics suck - a point I tried
to make to him in early January as Barack's star
was shining. If you're a newcomer to the political
scene, I'm sure it can be heartbreaking to watch
someone you believe in - proceed to straight up
flip and flop all over the place as he runs to the
middle. And although it was always expected, even
I've been a little surprised at just how poorly
some of the choices have come off. The FISA deal
was just stupid. His vote changed nothing, it was
always gonna pass - and he pissed off everyone
involved. That was completely political and rookie
in every sense. The drilling flip-flop was actually
a little more legitimate and in the interest of
compromise, but still - handled poorly by his
campaign through the media. He's making rookie
mistakes and is nowhere near as far ahead as he
should be. I still can't see McCain winning (no
matter what the polls say even the night before)
because not one thing about the current
administration is a positive and they're gonna have
no choice but to move away from that negativity.
And speaking of negativity...
-
- 4) The Clinton
Convention
-
- Barry, grow a
pair. There's no way in hell you give Tuesday night
to Hillary, with a speech by her daughter before
hand - then give a prime-time slot to Bill to boot
the following night. THEN give her the role call
vote overshadowing you again Thursday night as
well. Bill should introduce Hillary on Tuesday -
and that's IT. Period. The convention will be
completely dominated by the Clintons - and then
your ass is gonna be in a football stadium in a
spectacle that's gonna be completely seperate than
the first 3 days. Not good planning. The inmates
are running the asylum...and you better pray your
ass stays clean in the next 10 days because you've
now actually given her an opening to take you out.
I don't believe it will happen, but playing to the
"Clinton Catharsis Crowd" looks incredibly weak.
Everything I hate about liberal political
correctness. Awww is your sewlf-ewsteem huwting?
Bare-wee can hewlp youuuuuuuuu. Christ.
-
- 5) It's a Dog
Eat Cat World
-
- (sigh) I don't
know how instinct didn't make it clear to these
creatures. I'm not sure how the loud barking sounds
of two animated dogs didn't clue them in... but the
pups have managed to kill not one, but 2 cats in
the past 2 weeks. Such a shitty way to start your
day - I can't even begin to tell you. The first
involved me walking outside to a black cat ('round
a year old) who looked as if it had literally been
licked to death. Like they both licked all the
"play" out of it. It was all matted down and
positioned very neatly in the middle of the little
ramp I made for Roxy to get in and out of the house
(yes, she's fat enough to require a handicap ramp).
I yelled: "Jesus...Christ", stepped back into the
kitchen and the pups knew immediately they were
bad. The sheepish ears, the tail wagging... all I
could say was: "Yeah, that's not good." And then 2
days ago, I actually hear the ruckus, run out and
seperate the pups from the cat (literally having to
whap Cebe to get her to break her attention) and
thought I saved the kitten who I proceeded to put
on the front lawn. Nope. Dead the next morning and
rock hard so she clearly bit the dust moments
after. The hardest part is that you can't help but
feel like a parent of bad kids. Heh. But with the
set-up at my house (the ability for the dogs to
come in and out of the house at will) they're
inevitably gonna have "outdoor" instincts.
Unavoidable. They chase birds, squirrels...
whatever the hell manages to be stupid enough to
jump in... and unfortunately that means cats. :(
Anyway, the whole "family" has been nowhere to be
found since dead-kitty-on-the-lawn told them: go
elsewhere. So this should be the end of Pet
Cemetery for a bit.
-
- 6) Locked in
Knots
-
- The 3 locked
entries this month are fairly exciting news that
more than likely won't specifically be a break, but
could very well lead to more and more contacts
within the TV world. It could still actually be the
break, which is why I've documented it so much, but
these are the situations where you just can't go
'round spouting every detail publically. Not
because you don't want egg on your face, but
because you don't want to "name drop" no matter how
innocent it is. Lesson learned when I met a guy who
dated Nora Dunn back in 2000. I mentioned it just
as a "how cool? Loved SNL during those years" and
he was pretty pissed. It never occurred to me (no
offense to Nora) that saying that could be
perceived as a way to "look cool" or "name drop"...
to me it was just like saying I saw some celebrity
at a coffee shop or some shit. So again, I'm being
cautious, but rest assured the story will be open
soon and it is a doozy. It's an incredibly
exhilarating time right now and I can't stop
smiling...
-
- 7) No Baby in
the Basket
-
- Heh. I take
great pride in my entry titles, especially the
locked ones - but wasn't aware that any of you
would actually jump to the conclusion from last
month's locked entry that someone dropped a baby on
my doorstep. I mean, who the hell could that have
been with? Considering my last name isn't
Edwards... and when in holy hell would I have had
time to cheat on Donna? Sweet hell. Anyway - I'm
sure you can surmise now who showed up on the
doorstep and you just have to let your imagination
go for a bit until I can tell the story. It is very
temporary, quite the dent to an absolutely
extraordinary summer for me personally, but the
right thing to do.
-
- 8) Lying
Cripples Love
-
- I choose the
term "cripple" very specifically. It literally
handicaps love. It is the antithesis of love and it
erodes the foundation every, single, time. I
unfortunately got caught in the middle of a very
dishonest situation and my own love couldn't heal
it. Nothing I could say or do was going to stop the
dissolution of friendships and I'm actually quite
hurt by it. I want desperately to just scream "the
truth" at the top of my lungs but ironically that
would be disloyal. It's just hearbreaking. I pray
those involved come clean at some point and
everything is open again, but I'm not holding my
breath. Lying's a hole that's nearly impossible to
get out of. I love you both.
-
- 9) Read your
History Books
-
- While we're on
the subject of complete downers, hello World War 3?
Jesus - any question now why you don't commit
troops to war without a good reason? When other
shit happens - now we're all screwed. This
Russia/Georgia situation has "oh fuck" written all
over it. At this moment there's still a chance it
kinda fades away - but we are dangerously close to
an all out World War. If I were Ahmedinijad and
really planned on nukin' Israel? Now would be the
time. And instead of being pulled into the World
War (a la WW2) while we tried to avoid it - we cast
the first stone... for absolutely no reason. All
moral high ground is evaporated. I can't be the
only one laughing at the audacity of us scolding
Russia's actions. (sigh). And don't start with "the
hijackers cast the first stone" because Iraq has
dick all to do with 9/11. Enough with the history
rewrites.
-
- Ahem.
-
- 10) The 2056
Olympics
-
- It's my hope
that on the final Olympics of my life (I die July
13th, 2057), the nationalism will be almost
comical. We will be so much of a "one-world" that
the Olympics will be no more "national" than
competing against someone two streets over. I don't
hate my country at all - I certainly root for
them... but it's sad how much nationalism actually
hurts our world. I just don't seem to have that
bone in me that can feel better than others...based
on where I live. And so much of The Olympics is so
"meaningful" to people. We are so much more than
our countries. And it really does come down to
money and size. We're a rich country - we will win
more gold medals. Duh. Our training facilities are
second-to-none... but we're all just humans man.
The only argument I'll ever take part in when it
comes to this area is the black vs. white athletic
argument. I've said all along that it doesn't take
a genius to understand that if you select an entire
race of people based on size and strength and bring
them to a new land and have them only breed within
their own race? In 400 years those are gonna be
some bad mutha-fuckas. And it's just the ultimate
karma for all those slave owners that their
descendants hold sports figures in such high
regard. Love that shit.
-
- 11) Size
Actually Doesn't Matter
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