(click the picture above for
the high definition
video - but also click
YouTube
for me!)
9:54 PM, Friday,
June 6th, 2008:
Boy I do love me
some Randoms. Yes, this is how I spend my friday
nights alone and I totally dig it.
1)
Work is awesome. Like, really awesome. The
3 women I work for seem so genuinely
appreciative of my skills it's almost
shocking. Maybe it's because my last job
was at CBS where I could literally
recreate the fucking universe and still
not even get an email, but this place is
just a perfect match. I skip my breaks
because I actually enjoy trying to figure
out the new programs I'm using and how I
can do things faster for them. For the
video today however I did take a
couple minutes and goof off with the
webcam on my laptop. I brought my
laptop in to give them some of my programs
and found some pretty funny add-ons to the
webcam I was unaware of. Good times.
(That's Remo's daughter at the end by the
way, basically my only other co-worker
other than the owners)
2)
I don't like ketchup. See, the title was more than
just "catching you up" I actually intended to talk
about ketchup. But as I was saying... I can't stand it
on french fries. As I mentioned before I'm more of a
salt person than a sugar person - and you mix the 2?
Yech. I bring this up for one reason - when I say "no"
to extra ketchup with my fries at a drive-thru? Holy
shit... people react like I asked for a packet of
pigeon shit. Am I the only one here? I like the taste
of the fries themselves. I don't like fuckin it all up
with ketchup. Someone please tell me I'm not alone
here 'cause the reactions are pretty
funny.
3)
What Hillary did Tuesday night left me speechless. I
even knew it was going to happen, told my dad it was
going to happen... and then when it happened I
couldn't believe it. I mean, she had the audacity to
say that South Dakota was the final word... while the
POLLS WERE STILL OPEN in Montana?
Huh? I mean, I could've done an entire fake news story
a la The Daily Show using her speech as the primary
WINNER. It was a complete victory speech - even
congratulating the poooooooor loser Obama who "ran a
good race". !?!? He didn't RUN the race Hillary, he
WON the race. And we knew he was going to win it for
months by doing simple arithmatic. I was fine with her
not completely conceding Tuesday but to ignore that he
passed the delgate threshold (even though they moved
the goalposts FOR her on Saturday) was just
disgusting. But why should we be surprised? how many
times this primary season did she ignore his victories
the NIGHT he won them? He always congratulated
her - it's like politics 101 - what the fuck Hil? And
I defended you! I've been defending you since Ohio to
everyone who would listen saying: "Let her keep
running! This is REALLY CLOSE!" But I guess
I was wrong, you really have been narcicistic this
whole time. I know they're saying she's conceding
tomorrow - but I'll believe it when I hear it. And
even then, I still think she's gonna pull some shit at
the convention.
4)
To the crazy women on Saturday that acted like someone
stole your children. Stop. You are embarrassing your
entire gender and giving mysogynists way too much
fodder. The Michigan/Florida thing was always bullshit
and Hillary made it 100x bigger than it was to play on
the feeble minded. You cheer for Harold Ickes saying
how unfair it was when the
MAN WROTE THE RULES. LOL. Are you that
manipulatible? Is that a word? Seriously - Michigan
and Florida should never have counted. To say it's
unfair to count a primary where no one campaigns is to
say the LEAST. Especially when one of the candidates
happens to be a CLINTON vs. one named Obama. So the
fact that they gave her the exact delegate split from
Florida is a HUUUUUUGE concession. Huge. And Michigan?
Just stop. Every tear you shed over this is setting
back all the good Clinton has done for women all over
the world! Don't ruin it by ignoring logic (which
every friggin' man likes to point out about women)
with something that is SOOOOO obvious. You're
hurting a cause I believe in quite strongly. I
would've backed Clinton wholeheartedly if it wasn't
for the phenomenon that emerged on the scene. Anyway -
I'll get into this more tomorrow assuming she actually
does concede.
5)
Redoing hardwood floors sucks all sorts of ass. I had
no idea. I rented the sander - then realized it didn't
do edges so had to rent out the edging
sander... no big deal. I then stained it - which
certainly wasn't easy, but it turned out alright - if
not a bit too dark. Then comes the polyurethane. You
gotta do this like 4 or 5 times? Sanding in between?
Huh? What the hell is that about? GODDAMN. My poor
dogs have been stuck outside forever. They're already
stressed Donna is gone - and now they can't hang with
me in the bedroom. And I have to do half at a time -
because I still need to use the house. What a
cluster-fuck. On my 2nd coat of polyurethane now and I
may just call it a day at 3. Basically because I'm
realizing now that after I rented all the big sanders,
before I stained I should've gotten really fine
sand paper and done the entire house one more time by
hand. The wood is never gonna be smooth no matter how
much polyurethane I put on it. Oh, and I don't
give a shit - because I liked the carpet. LMAO. There
is that whole aspect of this. I just want my old
goddamn house back. Heh.
6)
Yes, I know another one of my teams is in
another championship AGAIN. Yes I know they've
already lost Game 1 and this unfathomable streak of my
teams getting to the championship and losing is in
danger of continuing again. It's just unreal. Last
year it was all 4 (Football buckeyes, Chicago bears,
Basketball buckeyes, Cleveland Cavs -my east coast NBA
team) and now this year it's been the buckeyes again
and now the Lakers. I have to admit however... I still
see the Lakers winning in 6. They just need the game
on Sunday and they'll be fine. Take 2 of 3 back here
in LA - and Game 6 in Boston. All good. Please. Please
let this streak end. It's getting pretty
ridiculous.
7)
So we're in the future now if you weren't aware. It
hit me Wednesday when I was flipping around CNN.com's
live streams and went from watching the black nominee
for president at a town hall meeting, to the female
speaker of the house giving a press conference to 2
guys fixing the international space station. All live
at the click of a mouse online. Just one of those
moments that makes you shake your head at where you
are all the sudden...
8)
...kinda like my entire life right now. It's so
completely surreal it's like I'm in a movie. I'm
suddenly working a 9-5 job and I'm single. I come home
to an empty house and occupy my time until I have to
go to work again. I have absolutely no interest in
meeting anyone (very rare for a horn-ball like me) and
I've been reading books and sipping tea. What, the,
fuck. These are the things you forget when you're
going through changes. The little shit. I'm not
unhappy, quite the opposite really - but it's just
crazy what happens when you follow your heart... and
it leads you to being an old person. Heh. I mean
really, sipping tea and reading Scott McClellan's book
on the front porch is something my fuggin' dad would
do. I'm old.
9)
So old apparently that I saw stars today when I
squatted. Squatted. What takes Bugs bunny an anvil to
the head happened to me by moving 2 feet lower while
playing with the dogs. I wasn't hit, I simply
moved. Getting older is just annoying. Seeing
stars is cool though. I gotta google that and see what
it is (seems it's just a temporary bloodloss thingee).
Kinda fun to be able to experience that without
searing pain. Neat phenomenon. Or deadly serious.
Heh.
10)
On the McClellan book, I've only read the preface and
first chapter but I did watch all the interviews
he did and one thing everyone keeps forgetting here
is... all he had was loyalty to Bush. He was
completely unqualified to be press secretary, he was
waaaaaaay over his head... all he had was that
friendship - and he's willing to lose it to tell his
story. Yes there's some slimeball feeling over the
whole thing, but you gotta realize that for him?
Keeping that loyalty would have served him
FAR better in the long-run. What he's doing now
will literally destroy him. And in all honesty? He
didn't say anything new! And he knows it! So can you
see the risk he's taking? I'll make a more informed
decision once I read the book, but I gotta say -
my initial instinct says he was wrapped up in the
propoganda himself and once he came out of the circle
he was guilt-ridden. Maybe it's not that honorable,
but those saying he's just throwing people under the
bus for one week in the news cycle are pretty
short-sided. Try to imagine, if he's being sincere,
what it must have felt like to have been the
MOUTHPIECE to the lies! If you're gonna call him
Judas, realize Judas hanged himself once he realized
what he did... and that's exactly what it looks like
Scott is doing. He's committing suicide right now to
tell his story. It's pretty compelling.
11)
I may be on The Gong Show. Ha. Comedy Central is doing
a new gong show and the same casting director that
worked with me on America's Got Talent wrote to me
about this. I gotta say, I mulled this over a
bunch. I spoke with Charlotte (before the break
obviously) and we agreed it wasn't a good move... but
as the days moved on I just couldn't think of any
reason why not. I have nothing going. It's
another 2 minutes of national exposure if I get
selected and... honestly? Cool entry. LOL. I really do
think of things like that. I think: "In 20 years will
I wish that this month included an entry of seeing
4tvs performed on The Gong Show?" and the asnwer is
of course. What could it hurt? Anyway, we'll
see if I get selected. Hedda is as positive as she was
about America's Got Talent but it's funny - I wrote
back to her: "I have reservations obviously as
America's Got Talent ended up being more Gong show
than American Idol... and now this IS the gong show -
LOL. But I hope to hear from you soon..." She found
that funny. So we'll see what happens.
12)
McCain's speech Tuesday night was easily the worst
speech I've ever seen. I'm not trying to be funny or
overdramatic. I fell asleep. I'm not saying it was
boring... I'm saying that I actually, physically,
fell, the fuck, asleep. I woke up in a daze and called
my father wondering what the hell just happened. Him
saying "that's not change we can believe in" was
soooooooooo bad, that I'm tempted to do a video on it
showing the direction his teleprompter must have given
for comedic value. <creepy old-man smile NOW>
LOL. Just, wow. Like - they keep talking about how his
strength is town hall settings and that that's Obama's
weakness... do they understand that Obama's weakness
beats McCain's strength unmercifully? Doesn't he
realize that his #1 goal should be to avoid ever
appearing in the same camera shot as Obama until
November? Goddamn I can't wait for the debates. I have
to find a way in through a contact at CBS or
something. I'll fly anywhere in the world to see that
shit.
13)
I almost ran over a fucking CHICKEN pulling out of my
neighborhood a few days ago. Yes, a chicken.
I had actually heard on the radio that farm
animals were invading urban areas in LA as the uhm,
mexicans, were comin' in. My neighborhood isn't
dominant one way or the other. In fact, now that I
think of it... in a row: Black family, Mexican family,
me, Russian family, Armenian family. That's pretty
cool. Across the street I think it's nearly all white.
Anyway, besides the point - chickens in the road. I
swear I'm gonna steal one and give it to the pups and
watch them go craaaaaaaaaaaaazy. LOL. I wonder
what they'd do. Hmmm - a future short film?
Heh.
14)
No matter what
you do, no matter how good of a deal it is - even if
you can get king sized sheets for $12.99 when most
king sized sheets are $50+ do not buy the t-shirt
sheets. LOL. They make these sheets that are made of
cotton like t-shirts? Comes in a cool little bag,
looks all cute - seeeeeeems like it would be
nice and comfortable. You know what it's like? It's
like sleeping on...T-SHIRTS. What else would you think
it feels like? IT FUCKING BLOWS. You're
better off burning the money for heat. What a rip-off.
Ahem.
15)
Playing too much Grand Theft Auto 4 can fuck with you.
The weight of the cars, and the visceral feeling you
get when you run someone over on the side of the road
must connect somewhere deep in your subconscious
because when I picked Donna up from the Temple a few
weeks back... I was struck with the urge to hit
someone. I'm not exagerrating. There was a guy running
toward me on the right side of the road - just
jogging. There were no posts anywhere, I had a clear
shot and could've taken his ass OUT. My mind's initial
thought was to speed up and hit him. Now it was
fleeting, but the reason was - there were no poles. In
grand theft auto it's usually difficult to mow down
pedestrians because of trees or poles on the
sidewalks. Every now and again you get someone left
alone and man - you GUN it. It's your SHOT to
really nail 'em. Well my first thought when I
saw this old guy, all alone, was exactly the same. Now
when I say fleeting, I mean fleeting. I instantly
laughed at my initial instinct and of course was
nowhere near actually doing it. But it hits you the
same way you see tetris pieces everywhere around you
if you play tetris too long. I don't think there are
any long-term effects but I would be open to the
possibility of it. Then again, I don't mean to add to
the already ridiculous outcry over violent videogames.
I still think the fantasy/reality line is pretty clear
and anyone who would actually mow down a guy with his
car is missing about 90 self-control roadblocks from
thought to action that has nothing to do with
videogames. As I admitted, I had the thought -
but the amount of synapses that would have to connect
for me to actually run that dude over is almost
infinite. That's the problem, not the thought.
Interesting topic though.
As is everything
to an ex talk-show host. So I'm gonna stop now. I
could go for days. Can you tell I'm lonely? Can you
tell I miss intellectual stimulation?
