(click the picture above for
the high definition
video - but also click
YouTube
for me!)
10:30 PM,
Saturday, May 31st, 2008:
Logic can only
explain so much. After that, you have to just admit
you're currently a repellant. Heh. Not like these two
events haven't been in the works for months now, but
the timing certainly is journeyriffic.
So for
the second time in less than a week I
watched someone I care about leave me in
an over-emotional huff as I sat
jaw-dropped at my part in it all.
Charlotte and I are once again, done...
but was she the only one surprised by
this? Doesn't take a genius to put 2 and 2
together here and you guys literally don't
know the half of it. Bottom line,
when enough people within the
industry pull you aside and say: "Adam,
what the fuck..." with regards to your
representation - you can only ignore it
for so long. Of course considering she
hadn't negotiated a contract for me... in
a year - I'm still flabbergasted
that this exploded as it did. Maybe it's
because I've known for nearly that long
this relationship couldn't continue... but
since there was never anything to
negotiate it hardly came up. That,
and there were simply more pressing
issues...
So there we were
at the Coffee Bean on Laurel Canyon and Ventura when
eventually we hit upon career stuff and the time
seemed right. It's funny, we've met a handful of times
before this when I had every intention of talking
with her... but it always seemed wrong. Truthfully
this didn't seem right either, but she hit the right
topic and I certainly wasn't going to lie to her. And
honestly, the unbelieveable amount of time that had
passed since we last technically worked together made
me think she was probably thinking the same thing.
Wrong. Really, really wrong.
I'm serious - I
thought she'd go: "Thank GOD you've been thinking the
same thing..." You know, like when Harry and Sally
broke up the after they had sex the first time? Well,
I started expressing how I felt and she looked at me
like... Man, I have the look burned in my brain. It
said to me: "Are you really saying what I think you're
saying?" My heart sank immediately. I did not
want this at all. We're friends. On that level
we always got along great. Talking about every single
issue under the sun. She's fiercely intelligent and we
share the same sense of humor... it's been literally
95% of our relationship the past 2 years. So I was
legitimately shocked at her reaction.
She started
defending everything, I started stating more
instances, she started defending those... it just got
more and more heated and she grabbed her purse and I
asked her to wait. We've been here before. We didn't
speak for 4 years...and this time? There would be
no going back. I pleaded with her to not take
it so personally and that there was a friendship
outside of a business relationship. Unfortunately it
seems they were too intertwined. A mistake on both of
our parts really, but the thing is? I know that she
thinks I'm not the best client. I know that. The
second I told her I'd be genuinely happy going around
the world and writing songs for my blog in different
countries for $30,000 a year and it made her
crazy because it wouldn't be up to my potential
I knew that. It doesn't effect my friendship with her
in the least. I just think she's wrong. I don't take
it personally, 'cause it's who I am. I think with the
right contacts the year with CBS could've been turned
into a LOT more. So why does that hurt her so
much?
Of course the more
she protested, the more I tried to think of different
ways of explaining my position and eventually got back
to stuff that happened in 2001 which really set things
off. And then she said: "Shia."
Yes, my reaction
was similar to yours probably. "Huh?"
I look behind
her and this skinny, bearded, slightly scuzzy dude
with a baseball cap had just walked by and it was Shia
LaBeouf. He came back out of the Bean and I was able
to look right at him and still, would've had no
clue. His eyes were puffy like he'd been crying
and he just looked like a bum. It was kinda cool
because.. that's exactly how I looked. LOL.
Slightly unshaven, sweats and a t-shirt... it was nice
to know guys are just guys. Sorry, I interrupted the
story... in fact I remember being a bit disoriented in
the midst of my story when she said that and she
laughed: "I had to tell you, had I mentioned it to you
later you would've said 'why the hell didn't you tell
me then?'" ...and she was totally right. LOL.
Anyway I was
bringing up 2001 because I was just trying to express
the pattern I was seeing and she felt it was a low
blow. The thing is, I wasn't trying to BLOW anyone.
Wow, did I just write that? I meant - that none of
what I was doing registered in my mind as being a
"blow" to her. How could she not think she deserved
some blame in everything? Blows my mind even as I'm
writing it. Has to be a record for "blows" in a
paragraph without talking about sex.
Heh...
I don't mean to be
trivial about this because I really hurt someone I've
known for over 7 years and care deeply about on a
level far outside of manager/client, but this reaction
is stunning. Maybe when it sinks in a bit she'll
contact me and we can at least be cordial, but knowing
her I'll never hear from her again unless I make
the effort. And I actually want to. As I said, I just
cannot believe she didn't see this coming. And really
if you guys knew the specific instances which gave me
no choice but to doubt her instincts... you'd wonder
why I didn't do this a long time ago. The truth is,
representation doesn't grow on trees - and I am
certainly not the easiest client to represent. That
and I really like Charlotte. Simple as
that.
So if you're
reading this Charlotte, please, put yourself in my
shoes. You acted as if I somehow betrayed
you by telling you how I felt. Would you feel
different if you were in my position?
Adam
PS -
the
video is a
re-enactment. It's the same table/place, but I went
back to do it today 'cause I thought of the Spin
Doctors song as I was retelling the story to
someone...
