(click the picture above for
the high definition
video - but also click
YouTube
for me!)
5:45 PM, Monday,
March 3rd 2008:
Hard to do a Vegas
entry any other way than "Randoms". Vegas was actually
my first randoms entry back in 2000. Whew. Ironically
I was also on a diet then and also had hardly any
money. Not sure whether to laugh ot cry. Ha. The good
news is I wouldn't change places with that man 7
1/2 years ago. I have no regrets. Wow,
I really don't. Hmmm... that's
awesome.
1)
This shouldn't be #1, but I want it to
relate with adjacent
video
so it shall be. I've stayed in lots of
hotels. Lots. In the past couple years
I've probably spent over a month in 'em.
I have never been physically
shaken by flushing a toilet. Had I
not just done so, the force is so loud and
violent that I would've shit myself.
Donna screamed when she flushed it
for the first time. What the hell is this?
Adjacent hotel room bathrooms might as
well be shooting water into your face as
your body can't tell the difference if
it's unfortunate enough to be
sleeping when one of these
"shit-rockets" goes off. Ironically we
stayed at the "Stratosphere" which
probably explains the final destination.
To muffle the sound I tried staying
seated one time and now have fertility
concerns (although it felt good). The
video does no justice to the volume this
toilet made.
2) Nor would
anything capture just how thin these walls were. We
all joke about that in hotels, but nothing beats this
shit. Hearing footsteps in the hallway like bass
kicks, hearing the most subtle of conversations and
being able to answer back... unbelieveable. Luckily
Donna and I were in good spirits so we laughed at
the ridiculousity of it all... that was until Saturday
night at 4:12 AM when after 2 hours of sleep the
adjacent neighbors started fighting. I thought
someone was in our room. I mutter in the lowest
monotone I can muster: "Why can't they just
fuck...". I actually called the front desk and
security came to tell the to quiet down...which made
them move further BACK in the room (right next to our
bed) to continue the argument. And yes, he probably
should've stuck up for her in front of her friends,
but the man didn't do anything - it was her friends
who were assholes so please let it go already. Ahem.At
5, they finally get to sleep. The last # I see on
the clock is 5:45 which gave me 15 minutes of shut-eye
before our other neighbor's wake-up call at 6.
German fellows. So we get to listen to the language of
love for the next hour as Gunther and Ralph get ready
and leave...and guess what - the arguers wake up at 8
(fuck people in their 20s)...and housekeeping comes
knocking at 9?!?!? I eventually put wet toilet
paper in my ears and "rested" a bit more. Can't wait
to have a vacation from thie vacation.
3) I'm writing
this in front of the elevators in the main lobby with
an R. Kelly concert in the background (that goddamn
closet song is so incredibly bad, I just can't
understand) watching drunk people go up to their hotel
rooms. I didn't want to wake up Donna with my
typing so I found an outlet down here. I wish
I could tape these staggering gamblers hitting
the button and then choosing wrong on which of
the 4 doors will open. They inevitably run to the one
that opens too late and then have to hit the button
again. It's great fun.
4) Oh yeah, so why
are we here? Especially considering we're broke? It's
Donna's birthday and she called one of those "3 free
nights in Vegas/sit through a time-share
deal" thingees on the radio and we figured what
the hell. It's incredible, what Cassie and I did
for $50 towards a steak dinner back in 2006 is now 3
free nights in a hotel, a show, 2 tickets to the top
of the stratosphere and a wedding vow renewel. Guess
what industry is hurtin' right now? I suggest
anyone reading do this once in your life if only for
the human behavior study. There really isn't a catch.
You really do get all that stuff completely free and
you just sit through a 2-3 hour sales pitch which is
actually rather amusing when you know there's
no possible way you'll do it. Donna and I had a
blast with our saleslady who was as desperate for a
sale as I've ever seen. Pulling shit out of her ass
like you wouldn't believe. From belittling me as a
husband, to actually playing the fear card
saying "bullets can go through hotel rooms, but
they're a gated community" (I shit you not) to
name dropping d-list celebrities like fuggin' Mike
Tyson being "seen" there. It was awesome. What's
funny is the resort was empty and she had
already admitted this was one of the 5 biggest
weekends in Vegas (Nascar event) but tried to sell
that as a selling point (so much space) while trying
to get you to drop down (ready for this?) - $55,000
for "ownership" of a room for one week out of the
year. LOL. Then you only have to pay $700 a year for
property tax, $2-300 up front for some other shit and
only $200 a week to stay there. After badgering us for
a couple hours I finally said: "I would
never, ever, ever do this." ...while literally
laughing in her face. I said: "I've already lost
$100,000 equity in my home in a year are you
kidding?". She (who was supposed to be a real estate
agent) was completely befuddled by that. She had no
clue that the housing market was crashing. And
suddenly the woman who was our best friend for 3 hours
turned on us in an instant. Classic. Anyway, take it
from Donna who hates confrontation (except with me
apparently - lol - sorry hon) more than anyone I've
ever known - it's a "must-do" before you die. Just
don't ever, ever, ever buy one. It's the scam of all
scams.
5) Which of course
Vegas is in general. There's not a whole lot to really
dig about Vegas. Free hotel room and shows? Sure. But
the rest of the time? Meh. I hate to sound elitist
here, but it's not my scene. It's pretty much
everything about America I can't stand. All you can
eat, all you can drink, all you can spend, all you can
stand visually, audibly, physically (the smoke is just
unreal if you're from a city with no indoor
smoking)... and throw-in a Nascar crowd to boot? Whew.
Even something as classy as the fountains in front of
Bellagio is juxtaposed with hundreds of illegal aliens
handing out graphic "hooker" cards on the street.
The sidewalks are literally paved with porn and
somehow Vegas is now "kid-friendly". ? Whatever.
6) Might also have
something to do with the fact I don't gamble. We
had a bunch of pennies/nickels and dimes we had saved
up for coffee the past year (nearly $60) which we
promptly gave back to the casino in poker slots but it
was completely out of boredom. I played black-jack
when Donna was sleeping last night and made $35 which
is cool - but it just isn't fun to me. There's simply
shit-else to do here. The good shows are beyond
expensive. 2 tickets to The Beatles' Love? $350. When
will that ever seem reasonable? I guess
when you've already touched a Beatle it's hard
to justify. LOL. Still the most spectacular show I've
ever seen (saw it during its first month in 2006), but
$350 buys a lot of gas.
7) Or does it? Ha.
What the fuck George? Oil was $27 a barrel before the
war, $102 now. Suuuuure we didn't piss off the
middle-east. Suuuuuuuure. How 'bout that reaction to
the reporter asking about $4 a gallon gas this spring?
It had been in the news for a few days and he had no
clue. (sigh). A moment of silence for this man
who has actually gotten stupider as his
presidency has labored on. I'm serious - YouTube some
of his election 2000 debates. It's a different man.
Hell, watch his governor debates in the 90s. The
difference is drastic. And it goes against
every bit of common sense out there. You'd think he'd
be more seasoned after 7 years in the White
House - wouldn't you? He's gotta be hitting the
bottle. He's so incredibly embarrassing. To the rest
of the world: "Sorry. Just so sorry. We're trying to
fix this."
8) So this is it
right? Tomorrow is the big day. My bet is Obama wins
Texas and Vermont, Hillary wins Ohio and Rhode Island,
but Obama ends up picking up 10 more delegates than
her when it's all said and done. As we all know, I
named myself the worst pundit ever when I thought
it would be a miracle if he was within 100 delegates
after Super Tuesday and he actually ended up ahead. So
the question now is - does she keep going? Although
she previously said she had to win both Texas
and Ohio, there's no way she stops his winning streak
and then drops out. She will treat that one win (even
if it's 3-1 overall tomorrow) as if she has "no
choice" but to continue because the people have
spoken. It's just so damaging to the party to continue
in that situation. Now if she wins both Texas and Ohio
(even by one vote and gets LESS delegates) she
has every right to continue. It means she's won
nearly every big state and has a claim (however
small without the delegates) to the nomination. But
I'm being fair here when I say that if she loses
either Texas or Ohio, she has to let it go. I
pray she does the right thing if that's the
case.
9) Quick note to
any Obama supporters out there: Don't let the press
get you down. You're not shallow, stupid, naive,
stricken with white-guilt, cult followers for
believing in this man. It takes courage to believe.
It's easy to be poke holes in hope. It's easy to cast
doubt on something that feels good. Enjoy this time.
Enjoy feeling good again. Because in all honesty, it
could be over tomorrow. It could be over in a month,
it could be over in ten months. It is extremely
rare to watch what we're watching...so just enjoy it.
I already "believe" more in America than I ever
have in my entire life. And if he does become
president it will never be the success that we're
hoping for as the press will hold him to every single
campaign promise in his first two years alone. He will
be chastised relentlessly by the right until you
forget what it was you ever enjoyed about this time.
He'll get caught in some contradiction, it will
immediately undermine everything he's ever said and
he'll just be another "politician". Public opinon
already calls it the Bush/Clinton/Bush years as if
it's somehow this 20 year regime without a difference.
That should tell you everything you need to know.
Bottom line, this is special - soak in what you can.
I started reading his first book and within 60
pages I'm just shaking my head. Here's a man who has
lived within so many cultures he's a part of
everyone. Can you fathom how valuable that is
in today's world? Can you imagine a man respected by
nearly every country? I don't mean in public where you
have to respect the office - I mean in private.
Where people across the globe say: "I wish
we had a leader like that". The
liberal/conservative policies don't mean shit.
They're all dependent on the seperate branches of
government anyway and in 8 years you're lucky if you
pull off 2 or 3 big ones. What matters is our standing
on this planet and the respect and admiration bestowed
on us the second he's in office will heal years
of injury. I'll stop ranting. It's just
overwhelming.
10) Walking on the
strip we saw a ticker say "Hillary Clinton takes a
break for 'SNL'" and sick to my stomach I had to
get back to the hotel room to see what happened. She's
pulling out all the stops and obviously I don't
want anything to work. SNL is quite pro-Hillary (which
is cool, she's from NY) and they were suprisingly fair
with their parody and the part with Hillary was funny.
She's smart to show her likeable side. She's likeable
enough. LOL. The guy playing Barack (though
I like the actor) is just not right. I hope
someone else emerges in that role.
11) Wasn't this
about Vegas? One-track mind man. I've gone 3 days
without internet and very limited access to the news
networks and it's killin' me. I will never forget
these 2 months as long as I live. I don't believe
there'll ever be a two month span in the primaries
like this the rest of my life. I have to say
though - if Hillary wins both big states tomorrow I'm
abstaining for a month. Well after Wyoming and
Mississippi (the 8th and 11th). Didn't know about
those huh? Yeah Hillary has a way of completely
insulting entire primaries by skipping them in her
speeches. She ignores any state it looks like she'll
lose and jumps to the next big one (Pennsylvania). And
I'll say this without reservation - Obama will
congratulate Hillary for her wins tomorrow. Although
she has ignored every one of the last 11 victories in
a row, I guarantee he congratulates her for a win
in Rhode Island and certainly for Ohio and/or Texas.
If he doesn't, I will be just as hard on him as I've
been on her.
Here's hopin'
something miraculous happens and he doesn't have
anything to congratulate her on other than running a
good race as he looks to the general election.
Unfortunately something tells me this goes on for
awhile...