5
 
 
 
(click the picture above for the high definition video - but also click YouTube for me!)
 
5:45 PM, Monday, March 3rd 2008:
 
Hard to do a Vegas entry any other way than "Randoms". Vegas was actually my first randoms entry back in 2000. Whew. Ironically I was also on a diet then and also had hardly any money. Not sure whether to laugh ot cry. Ha. The good news is I wouldn't change places with that man 7 1/2 years ago. I have no regrets. Wow, I really don't. Hmmm... that's awesome.
 
1) This shouldn't be #1, but I want it to relate with adjacent video so it shall be. I've stayed in lots of hotels. Lots. In the past couple years I've probably spent over a month in 'em. I have never been physically shaken by flushing a toilet. Had I not just done so, the force is so loud and violent that I would've shit myself. Donna screamed when she flushed it for the first time. What the hell is this? Adjacent hotel room bathrooms might as well be shooting water into your face as your body can't tell the difference if it's unfortunate enough to be sleeping when one of these "shit-rockets" goes off. Ironically we stayed at the "Stratosphere" which probably explains the final destination. To muffle the sound I tried staying seated one time and now have fertility concerns (although it felt good). The video does no justice to the volume this toilet made.
 
2) Nor would anything capture just how thin these walls were. We all joke about that in hotels, but nothing beats this shit. Hearing footsteps in the hallway like bass kicks, hearing the most subtle of conversations and being able to answer back... unbelieveable. Luckily Donna and I were in good spirits so we laughed at the ridiculousity of it all... that was until Saturday night at 4:12 AM when after 2 hours of sleep the adjacent neighbors started fighting. I thought someone was in our room. I mutter in the lowest monotone I can muster: "Why can't they just fuck...". I actually called the front desk and security came to tell the to quiet down...which made them move further BACK in the room (right next to our bed) to continue the argument. And yes, he probably should've stuck up for her in front of her friends, but the man didn't do anything - it was her friends who were assholes so please let it go already. Ahem.At 5, they finally get to sleep. The last # I see on the clock is 5:45 which gave me 15 minutes of shut-eye before our other neighbor's wake-up call at 6. German fellows. So we get to listen to the language of love for the next hour as Gunther and Ralph get ready and leave...and guess what - the arguers wake up at 8 (fuck people in their 20s)...and housekeeping comes knocking at 9?!?!? I eventually put wet toilet paper in my ears and "rested" a bit more. Can't wait to have a vacation from thie vacation.
 
3) I'm writing this in front of the elevators in the main lobby with an R. Kelly concert in the background (that goddamn closet song is so incredibly bad, I just can't understand) watching drunk people go up to their hotel rooms. I didn't want to wake up Donna with my typing so I found an outlet down here. I wish I could tape these staggering gamblers hitting the button and then choosing wrong on which of the 4 doors will open. They inevitably run to the one that opens too late and then have to hit the button again. It's great fun.
 
4) Oh yeah, so why are we here? Especially considering we're broke? It's Donna's birthday and she called one of those "3 free nights in Vegas/sit through a time-share deal" thingees on the radio and we figured what the hell. It's incredible, what Cassie and I did for $50 towards a steak dinner back in 2006 is now 3 free nights in a hotel, a show, 2 tickets to the top of the stratosphere and a wedding vow renewel. Guess what industry is hurtin' right now? I suggest anyone reading do this once in your life if only for the human behavior study. There really isn't a catch. You really do get all that stuff completely free and you just sit through a 2-3 hour sales pitch which is actually rather amusing when you know there's no possible way you'll do it. Donna and I had a blast with our saleslady who was as desperate for a sale as I've ever seen. Pulling shit out of her ass like you wouldn't believe. From belittling me as a husband, to actually playing the fear card saying "bullets can go through hotel rooms, but they're a gated community" (I shit you not) to name dropping d-list celebrities like fuggin' Mike Tyson being "seen" there. It was awesome. What's funny is the resort was empty and she had already admitted this was one of the 5 biggest weekends in Vegas (Nascar event) but tried to sell that as a selling point (so much space) while trying to get you to drop down (ready for this?) - $55,000 for "ownership" of a room for one week out of the year. LOL. Then you only have to pay $700 a year for property tax, $2-300 up front for some other shit and only $200 a week to stay there. After badgering us for a couple hours I finally said: "I would never, ever, ever do this." ...while literally laughing in her face. I said: "I've already lost $100,000 equity in my home in a year are you kidding?". She (who was supposed to be a real estate agent) was completely befuddled by that. She had no clue that the housing market was crashing. And suddenly the woman who was our best friend for 3 hours turned on us in an instant. Classic. Anyway, take it from Donna who hates confrontation (except with me apparently - lol - sorry hon) more than anyone I've ever known - it's a "must-do" before you die. Just don't ever, ever, ever buy one. It's the scam of all scams.
 
5) Which of course Vegas is in general. There's not a whole lot to really dig about Vegas. Free hotel room and shows? Sure. But the rest of the time? Meh. I hate to sound elitist here, but it's not my scene. It's pretty much everything about America I can't stand. All you can eat, all you can drink, all you can spend, all you can stand visually, audibly, physically (the smoke is just unreal if you're from a city with no indoor smoking)... and throw-in a Nascar crowd to boot? Whew. Even something as classy as the fountains in front of Bellagio is juxtaposed with hundreds of illegal aliens handing out graphic "hooker" cards on the street. The sidewalks are literally paved with porn and somehow Vegas is now "kid-friendly". ? Whatever.
 
6) Might also have something to do with the fact I don't gamble. We had a bunch of pennies/nickels and dimes we had saved up for coffee the past year (nearly $60) which we promptly gave back to the casino in poker slots but it was completely out of boredom. I played black-jack when Donna was sleeping last night and made $35 which is cool - but it just isn't fun to me. There's simply shit-else to do here. The good shows are beyond expensive. 2 tickets to The Beatles' Love? $350. When will that ever seem reasonable? I guess when you've already touched a Beatle it's hard to justify. LOL. Still the most spectacular show I've ever seen (saw it during its first month in 2006), but $350 buys a lot of gas.
 
7) Or does it? Ha. What the fuck George? Oil was $27 a barrel before the war, $102 now. Suuuuure we didn't piss off the middle-east. Suuuuuuuure. How 'bout that reaction to the reporter asking about $4 a gallon gas this spring? It had been in the news for a few days and he had no clue. (sigh). A moment of silence for this man who has actually gotten stupider as his presidency has labored on. I'm serious - YouTube some of his election 2000 debates. It's a different man. Hell, watch his governor debates in the 90s. The difference is drastic. And it goes against every bit of common sense out there. You'd think he'd be more seasoned after 7 years in the White House - wouldn't you? He's gotta be hitting the bottle. He's so incredibly embarrassing. To the rest of the world: "Sorry. Just so sorry. We're trying to fix this."
 
8) So this is it right? Tomorrow is the big day. My bet is Obama wins Texas and Vermont, Hillary wins Ohio and Rhode Island, but Obama ends up picking up 10 more delegates than her when it's all said and done. As we all know, I named myself the worst pundit ever when I thought it would be a miracle if he was within 100 delegates after Super Tuesday and he actually ended up ahead. So the question now is - does she keep going? Although she previously said she had to win both Texas and Ohio, there's no way she stops his winning streak and then drops out. She will treat that one win (even if it's 3-1 overall tomorrow) as if she has "no choice" but to continue because the people have spoken. It's just so damaging to the party to continue in that situation. Now if she wins both Texas and Ohio (even by one vote and gets LESS delegates) she has every right to continue. It means she's won nearly every big state and has a claim (however small without the delegates) to the nomination. But I'm being fair here when I say that if she loses either Texas or Ohio, she has to let it go. I pray she does the right thing if that's the case.
 
9) Quick note to any Obama supporters out there: Don't let the press get you down. You're not shallow, stupid, naive, stricken with white-guilt, cult followers for believing in this man. It takes courage to believe. It's easy to be poke holes in hope. It's easy to cast doubt on something that feels good. Enjoy this time. Enjoy feeling good again. Because in all honesty, it could be over tomorrow. It could be over in a month, it could be over in ten months. It is extremely rare to watch what we're watching...so just enjoy it. I already "believe" more in America than I ever have in my entire life. And if he does become president it will never be the success that we're hoping for as the press will hold him to every single campaign promise in his first two years alone. He will be chastised relentlessly by the right until you forget what it was you ever enjoyed about this time. He'll get caught in some contradiction, it will immediately undermine everything he's ever said and he'll just be another "politician". Public opinon already calls it the Bush/Clinton/Bush years as if it's somehow this 20 year regime without a difference. That should tell you everything you need to know. Bottom line, this is special - soak in what you can. I started reading his first book and within 60 pages I'm just shaking my head. Here's a man who has lived within so many cultures he's a part of everyone. Can you fathom how valuable that is in today's world? Can you imagine a man respected by nearly every country? I don't mean in public where you have to respect the office - I mean in private. Where people across the globe say:  "I wish we had a leader like that". The liberal/conservative policies don't mean shit. They're all dependent on the seperate branches of government anyway and in 8 years you're lucky if you pull off 2 or 3 big ones. What matters is our standing on this planet and the respect and admiration bestowed on us the second he's in office will heal years of injury. I'll stop ranting. It's just overwhelming.
 
10) Walking on the strip we saw a ticker say "Hillary Clinton takes a break for 'SNL'" and sick to my stomach I had to get back to the hotel room to see what happened. She's pulling out all the stops and obviously I don't want anything to work. SNL is quite pro-Hillary (which is cool, she's from NY) and they were suprisingly fair with their parody and the part with Hillary was funny. She's smart to show her likeable side. She's likeable enough. LOL. The guy playing Barack (though I like the actor) is just not right. I hope someone else emerges in that role.
 
11) Wasn't this about Vegas? One-track mind man. I've gone 3 days without internet and very limited access to the news networks and it's killin' me. I will never forget these 2 months as long as I live. I don't believe there'll ever be a two month span in the primaries like this the rest of my life. I have to say though - if Hillary wins both big states tomorrow I'm abstaining for a month. Well after Wyoming and Mississippi (the 8th and 11th). Didn't know about those huh? Yeah Hillary has a way of completely insulting entire primaries by skipping them in her speeches. She ignores any state it looks like she'll lose and jumps to the next big one (Pennsylvania). And I'll say this without reservation - Obama will congratulate Hillary for her wins tomorrow. Although she has ignored every one of the last 11 victories in a row, I guarantee he congratulates her for a win in Rhode Island and certainly for Ohio and/or Texas. If he doesn't, I will be just as hard on him as I've been on her.
 
Here's hopin' something miraculous happens and he doesn't have anything to congratulate her on other than running a good race as he looks to the general election. Unfortunately something tells me this goes on for awhile...
 
Alrighty, goodbye Vegas.
 
Adam
ar.