- Of course the
thing that does change is the frequency. It's
not daily as it was for months afterwards...but it's
certainly weekly and maybe a couple times a week. The
Journey has a way of really never letting you forget.
I often click around random months reminiscing and
there's a realness to "entries" that for me is as
close to "being there" as you can get. The
colors, the layout, the words, the video - even the
way the video is put together is a "timestamp" of
who I was at the moment. And of course Shizzle was a
showman. As close as I'll ever be to an animal in my
life. My heart will make sure of
that.
-
- My heart has also
unfortunately kept much from progressing as far as the
action against the clinic goes. The bottom line really
is that nothing can be done without having
exhumed the body or kept it for a lawsuit from the
beginning. With that path gone, all that could be
registered is a complaint that could warrant no more
than a "mark". Like bitching on a message board. It's
almost insulting for that to be the outcome. I also
can't say the name of the clinic for a very
real fear of getting sued. My hands are just tied.
What forced me to finally seek out an attorney earlier
this year (an extra bill on top of everything
else) has obviously been settled since I never heard
from them again. The longer I mull around the next
course of action, the longer it hurts. I'm done. If
there's anyone in the LA area that would like to
know the name of the clinic, please email me.
(Use the link on the homepage
of the site as it may change in the future) I
certainly never want anyone to go through what
I went through.
-
- God just watched
that again. You just don't realize the tone until it's
completed. It's very biting. A few different words,
and it's a heartwarming sad. It's a tearful sad. As it
stands it's a bit of a punch to the stomach. And that
picture of him in the grave in HD is the first time
I've shown that. Also that shot of him during the
"internal bleeding" line is literally the last
living picture of him. All of which I never showed in
the entry a year ago. I showed his collar in the
grave, but not the whole thing. It's just so - WHAP.
Which again, is how it should be. I'm all about truth
man - and that is the story of shizzle. Here's
the Ode for those without access to video or
sound:
-
- There once
was a pupper named Shizzle,
- His story is
waaaaaaaay off the hizzle,
- Sit back and
relax, and I'll spin you the tale,
- Of the
wondrous Shizzle McNizzle.
-
- He once was
the tiniest pup,
- And was
constantly getting roughed up,
- But soon he
grew buff
- With a LOUD
ruff, ruff, ruff!
- And all
other bullies shut-up.
-
- As a guard
he was one busy-bee,
- He took his
job quite seriously,
- He'd fly
through the air,
- To kick ass
and scare,
- Any dog or
strange person he'd see.
-
- If he knew
you, he'd sit on your lap,
- Though it
hurt, he did not give a crap,
- He was big
and he knew it,
- But his love
helped you through it,
- So you let
him, and both took a nap,
-
- When Adam
was singing a song,
- He'd come
running and join right along,
- He would
lick Adam's face,
- And take
over the place,
- 'Cause he
knew this was where he belonged,
-
- One day he
was sick on his bed,
- "Off to the
vet!" Adam Said,
- they poked
without needing,
- caused
internal bleeding,
- and in 2
days young shizzle was dead.
- Finally, I would
be remiss if I didn't mention CeBe. She is a darling
creature who is completely attached to both Donna and
I...in fact moreso than Shizzle was at this age. She
is a baaaaaaaaby. The difference is that it is shared
equally. Jess wasn't much of a dog person and the
divorce cemented the bond between me and Shiz forever.
Now if something were to happen to CeBe my only
concern would be for Donna who is admittedly closer to
CeBe than she ever thought possible. When she saw me
react to Shizzle's death she was a bit put-off as she
just couldn't understand how I could be so attached.
Apparently she never had that one pet. Well,
she does now. And the bottom line is, after Shizzle,
there will be no other pet for me that will envelop me
the way Donna is feeling. It is a defense mechanism
for sure. Don't get me wrong - LOVE the pup. We have a
ball, and I'm totally attached to her...but she is a
dog to me.
-
- Shizzle was my
soul. He was my
reflection.
I can't believe he's been gone for a year.
-
- Adam
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