- With the internet
age upon us, many have probably felt what I'm feeling
right now. The past two months are unlike any other in
the entirety of The Journey. Certainly there were
months that looking back now seem tame, but at the
time believe me - they were a big friggin' deal. And
listen, it's not like I expected the streak of April
2006 - September 2007 (nearly 200 entries in 18
months) to continue, but this drop-off is just...
well, it leads to stupid philosophical entries about
your very existence.
-
- The feeling is so
eerie. For all intents and purposes there has been
nothing on this site since September. No
offense to Remo but selling an antique is hardly the
Journey fodder we've come to expect. Yeah maybe in
between two entries about national television exposure
and a marriage. Ha. That made me laugh out loud. I'm
funny. :-) See this is where the real difference with
my video blog shines through. I don't write about
day-to-day shit, I actually care about my
reader/viewer. I have a pretty tightly focused goal
with this project. To show the character development
of a man who is still following his dreams. What
happens along the way to change who he is. It's
interesting to me, of course 'cause I'm doing it, but
I believe it is to others because everyone has
a dream. And clearly not everyone follows it. The
reasons why are in these past 700 entries. Heh. What
you sacrifice is dramatic, unyielding and
completely exhausting. I think many would
rather read about it and watch a little video every
couple of days rather than be the guinea pig.
Sometimes I believe I would also rather do the
same. But I'm fully aware that's not happening and all
the more reason I get edgy when I have nothing to show
for it.
-
- ...I mean talk
about a mirror. Talk about a slap in the face. When
you don't perform, The Journey does not help you. It
is up to you to spin it, scheme it, create it. And I'm
certain other "chronic chroniclers" have felt that
same un-ease (probably the most when they stop
blogging for good) when there's nothing to say.
Granted, they usually just say it anyway (christ blogs
suck so much ass), but it'd be interesting to talk to
others who have experienced this phenomenon. See, when
there's no entries...I'm not relaxed. It would seem to
you following this that "Oh, Adam must just be doing
other stuff". 'Tis true, 'tis true... but I'm not
relaxing. I'm fully aware of how much I suck. No, the
most relaxing day of my life? The day I update and
know that anyone who clicks on that entry will know
the story up to that moment. As time passes on, the
story is suddenly outdated... and I'm stuck with not
knowing what the hell to say. "What's changing me?
There's nothing. Is nothing changing me? It's been two
weeks, it could be 8 weeks..." It's really quite OCD
to tell you the truth and again I go back to the
statement that the modern human mind has just evolved
to the point of ridiculousness. Don't believe me? Take
a gander at this:
-
- A future
society will very likely have the technological
ability and the motivation to create large numbers
of completely realistic historical simulations and
be able to overcome any ethical and legal obstacles
to doing so. It is thus highly probable that we are
a form of artificial intelligence inhabiting one of
these simulations. To avoid stacking (i.e.
simulations within simulations), the termination of
these simulations is likely to be the point in
history when the technology to create them first
became widely available, (estimated to be 2050).
Long range planning beyond this date would
therefore be futile.
-
- That's from the
journal of "Future studies" sometime last year.
Talk about too much time on your hands. For fuck's
sake. Put down the bong, turn off your
"Matrix" DVD and go build a house or some shit.
Trust me, it's not because I don't "get it", it's
because I "got it" when I was in college and the
answer is simple: our brains are looping because we no
longer have to hunt for food. Period. End of debate.
40 hours a week at a job? Oh cry me a river. Try 24
hours a day of trying to find food shelter and a
mating partner. Ha, sounds like Marty Moose. LMFAO.
Sorry dawg. But the point is, modern man likes to
mentally masturbate until their temples bleed. They
don't seem to get that the brain their using is
looping. Just with new bits of info that tricks
it into going around a few more times. And now that I
think of it, I'm the guiltiest mofo out there - what
the hell was this entry about?
-
- Ha.
-
- But although I may
be a bit spooked at the lack of Journey fodder, I am
enjoying the simpler things. A campfire,
a movie...although I am trying to find a way to
take the #54 off of our cable box. (sigh) HGTV is
simply put, "Jackass" for Donna. It's a series of
stunts that they make look so easy on TV, but are
anything but. Every program on that goddamn channel
should come with a disclaimer: These are
professionals. Please do not try this at
home.
-
- What started as
curtains for the windows (something everyone can agree
is a good thing) turned into: "Well, we don't
want to put them up without first taking down the
popcorn ceilings...and if we're doing that, why cover
the carpet if we (actually her) want to go back to
hardwood floors anyway so we'll rip that up, and I
don't like the parquet floor, and we'll retile the
kitchen and the bathroom and that needs to be a
different color..." The house, which I LIKED btw, is
now - a wreck. Heh. Ya see... I know this house.
I redid every inch of this house in 2003. There's
a reason there's popcorn ceiling. They're
hiding all sorts of shit. I know because
I uncovered some of the worst shit ever in this
house. The carpets? Yeah, we installed them in '03 for
a reason. The hardwood was FUCKED. But you know, at
some point you just go: "Happy
wife,
happy
life".
Even if that really means "Feeling kinda stupid for
not listening to Adam
wife,
frustrated and stressed out
life
". Why?
Because the alternative is: "I hate this carpet
and ceiling and until I actually see how bad it is
I'll never believe you
wife,
frustrated and stressed out
life
". Results are
the same, but I think you see the advantage in the
former. :-)
-
- And to her
credit: She started the project man. She was the
popcorn scraper of the year. We got it tested for
asbestos (negative) and she went to town. Of course
when she got to the bedroom she realized just how
fucked it was. Funny thing, I could've
told her that...and DID. :-) Same with the hallway,
the dining room. I did the living room to help her as
her back was taking a beating and yup - more random
holes and cracks. Best moment ever: after revealing
said mess in the bedroom she was certain she could
smooth it out - and of course made more of a mess.
Tried more stuff, even more of a mess. I walk in and
look up and say: "Wow, you know, I know what'll do the
trick. I think they call it...acoustic... yeah that's
it - acoustic popcorn ceiling. It'll fix this right
up." I believe she laughed for 3 days on that
one. So yes, we're at least laughing. But man, some of
the stuff has sucked. The popcorn ceiling is a bitch,
getting 25 year old parquet glue off of hardwood is a
bitch. Having to scrape off a thin layer of
subflooring to put in new subflooring is a
bitch. Tiling the kitchen was actually fun,
'cause you feel a sense of accomplishment fairly
quickly with that. Funny, that's the only thing I
thought needed to be done
IN THE WHOLE GODDAMN HOUSE.
-
- (sigh)
-
- So anyway, we
don't exist, God doesn't believe in YOU, and yes the
Buckeyes could actually still pull this off. If that's
not proof that this is all some random simulation I
don't know what is.
-
- :-)
-
- Adam
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