Adam Kontras.com - Screaming From The Valley...





(click the picture above for the high definition video - but also click YouTube for me!)

12:01 AM, Thursday, November 1st, 2007: And there's your first problem Kontras... Mountaintops. Gotta scream from up there. No one will hear you in the valley. ;-)
So I just set-up Windows Media Connect through my Xbox 360 while transferring every single CD I owned (450+) to mp3 complete with album art and all. The CD project was to save space as I've moved all my shit back into the big house while prepping everything to rent out the studio come December/January. The whole Windows Media Connect thing was just an afterthought as it occured to me I had Vista (something I've cursed since the day I got my computer, but now I am actually enoying it). Blah, blah, blah Adam... the point: So it allows me to stream videos from my computer on my big ass TV sitting on my couch. Word. So I'm looking through old Journey videos (Shizzle can still make me cry in under 10 seconds) and happened upon an Egos episode... then another... then another... I sat there for an hour watching from a completely different perspective... ...and I was just blown away. I mean while you're in the midst of the 13 week production you really can't step back and look at 'em but I'm pretty far removed right now and godddddddddddamn. The shit was good. Really good. Enough to make you scream. I live in the valley... so there ya go. Screaming From The Valley. I'm screaming for a lot of things right now, but truth be told it's the same OLD story: I want to be HEARD. The content gets better and better...and I am still completely anonymous. No meetings with anyone, nothing gained in an ENTIRE YEAR at CBS?!?! I cannot believe it. So I made a little demo of The Egos which I think if the right person clicked... my life would change dramatically. Watch it and tell me you don't agree. Of course - so fucking what right? I can't magically make that happen. And it's too well produced to become viral (ain't THAT a bitch). It's just maddening. I am as clueless on what to do next as I was in 2002. DAHHHHHHHHHH. Here's the link! You know? That's how I feel. A link I've worked my ENTIRE LIFE to create - shows everything I want to show - and I can't get anyone to click it. So close. I feel so close - but have felt like that my whole life. So I sit in the valley and scream. I want so badly to believe this is an interim period. But I'm just so burnt out. It's not supposed to work like this. You're supposed to kill yourself to get the opportunity, and then do an amazing job and MAKE it to another level. I did everything I was supposed to do and I am nowhere with no viable path to follow now. Can I even utter the words? No direction. Jesus. Been so long since I've said that. The thing is - I went through this 5 years ago and finally came to a place in 2005 where I was OK being me. I was OK with creating for The Journey and being an artist. That person is still here - but he got hoodwinked into believing one more time. America's Got Talent - Let's Bomb Iran - CBS... 18 months of living the dream and then having the HEAD of LATE NIGHT for CBS say he wants to give you your own show... I mean fuck. There you go. There you are. You've made it! DAHHHHH. And then all the momentum I built! Look at the Egos episodes? Better and better and better... I pushed and pushed - from The Price is Right set to Young & The Restless I pushed every single boundary I could - the episodes got better and better - all the way to Up & Adam and that insane open - and it lead to - NOTHING. In all honesty I feel an opportunity was completely wasted. Completely wasted. While I was staring at a computer screen for 15 hours a day trying to pump out more product the opportunity to get to the next level vanished. GRRR. So there you are. I'm screaming from the valley. ADAM!~!!!

So I just set-up Windows Media Connect through my Xbox 360 while transferring every single CD I owned (450+) to mp3 complete with album art and all. The CD project was to save space as I've moved all my shit back into the big house while prepping everything to rent out the studio come December/January. The whole Windows Media Connect thing was just an afterthought as it occured to me I had Vista (something I've cursed since the day I got my computer, but now I am actually enoying it). Blah, blah, blah Adam... the point: So it allows me to stream videos from my computer on my big ass TV sitting on my couch. Word. So I'm looking through old Journey videos (Shizzle can still make me cry in under 10 seconds) and happened upon an Egos episode... then another... then another... I sat there for an hour watching from a completely different perspective... ...and I was just blown away. I mean while you're in the midst of the 13 week production you really can't step back and look at 'em but I'm pretty far removed right now and godddddddddddamn. The shit was good. Really good. Enough to make you scream. I live in the valley... so there ya go. Screaming From The Valley. I'm screaming for a lot of things right now, but truth be told it's the same OLD story: I want to be HEARD. The content gets better and better...and I am still completely anonymous. No meetings with anyone, nothing gained in an ENTIRE YEAR at CBS?!?! I cannot believe it. So I made a little demo of The Egos which I think if the right person clicked... my life would change dramatically. Watch it and tell me you don't agree. Of course - so fucking what right? I can't magically make that happen. And it's too well produced to become viral (ain't THAT a bitch). It's just maddening. I am as clueless on what to do next as I was in 2002. DAHHHHHHHHHH. Here's the link! You know? That's how I feel. A link I've worked my ENTIRE LIFE to create - shows everything I want to show - and I can't get anyone to click it. So close. I feel so close - but have felt like that my whole life. So I sit in the valley and scream. I want so badly to believe this is an interim period. But I'm just so burnt out. It's not supposed to work like this. You're supposed to kill yourself to get the opportunity, and then do an amazing job and MAKE it to another level. I did everything I was supposed to do and I am nowhere with no viable path to follow now. Can I even utter the words? No direction. Jesus. Been so long since I've said that. The thing is - I went through this 5 years ago and finally came to a place in 2005 where I was OK being me. I was OK with creating for The Journey and being an artist. That person is still here - but he got hoodwinked into believing one more time. America's Got Talent - Let's Bomb Iran - CBS... 18 months of living the dream and then having the HEAD of LATE NIGHT for CBS say he wants to give you your own show... I mean fuck. There you go. There you are. You've made it! DAHHHHH. And then all the momentum I built! Look at the Egos episodes? Better and better and better... I pushed and pushed - from The Price is Right set to Young & The Restless I pushed every single boundary I could - the episodes got better and better - all the way to Up & Adam and that insane open - and it lead to - NOTHING. In all honesty I feel an opportunity was completely wasted. Completely wasted. While I was staring at a computer screen for 15 hours a day trying to pump out more product the opportunity to get to the next level vanished. GRRR. So there you are. I'm screaming from the valley. ADAM!~!!!