(click the picture above for
the high definition
video - but also click
YouTube
for me!)
unlocked on
12.24.07
11:15 PM,
Thursday, September 20th, 2007:
Man. It is not
2006. It didn't take very long to realize that. This
will obviously be locked - so I'm just gonna be
honest. But it's not like I'm burning bridges as there
apparently aren't any to burn. LOL.
So I
spend all night thinking about how I'm
gonna work in the Up & Adam piece. The
questions were already worked out, the Up
& Adam open was already on tape
and ready to go. Just like last time I was
gonna get a few questions about the
season, what I liked best - and
specifically about all the sets we'd been
on. My answer was that we certainly have
been having fun from The Price is Right to
Young and the Restless - but the most fun
was my own late night talk show. She would
make some comment, and I would
mention the test show on YouTube. Then
she'd ask what I thought of the bands and
my answer would again involve the advice
to the bands of using the exposure,
win or not, to turn it into more. This
exchange kept me up all night. LOL. You
just want to be sure you say what you need
and get hits on the test show. That was
key.
Get there and
again try to ascertain which camera and believe it or
not - 3 different people told me 3 different things.
LOL. They were arguing amongst theselves. I just shake
my head as I write this because they were
treating me like an amateur for asking.
?!?
Then
I talk to Julie who says we're now
going right into the announcement - the
entire interview is cut. Shelly (Steve's
replacement) had told her that morning.
Not even a question about the bands. I was
noticeably frustrated and Julie goes: "Is
that alright?". Now she seemed sincere
when she asked me that - but she had to
know, that of course that wasn't cool, and
of course I have no say in the matter. And
for a second I toyed with the idea of
actually saying no to see if anything
would change, but I ended up sarcastically
yelling: "Of course it's not alright
damnit!" and we all giggled and went ahead
with cutting the whole
interview.
The piece
was smooth, not a whole lot to it. It was
over in about a minute and it was clear what
was happening to Living Room Live. It really
kills me that the winning band gets this
"light" version. If I'm even asking the
questions Monday I guarantee it's no
more than 2 or 3, they'll chop their song
down and then - zap we're out. It's just
politics, and as I said before you don't
ever take on someone else's pet project as
your own once their gone... but it's a piece
we've been doing for 13 weeks - to
shortchange the end really stings.
It's like being at
a hospice. The person is technically still
alive - but that week is just draining. It's life
support and we're watching the plug being pulled. I'm
just trying to give you guys an idea of the mood. For
me and Tammy (living room live's mother), that's what
it felt like.
Shelly was there
but was pretty busy and walked past me several
times... but we never met. Never seemed an appropriate
time to introduce myself. And after the cut -
I wasn't really sure what to say? Very sad
situation...
...but one that
would be topped when I met with Steve an hour
later. He's always had the best quotes in the year
we've been together. Today was no
different:
"Adam,
they're gonna kill you."
LOL. Oh the
"on-the-fence" mentality I had was not shared by Mr.
Friedman. Ha! Whereas I was looking at all the angles
- he in no uncertain terms made it very clear that it
was over, and I'd be foolish to think otherwise. It
was refreshing actually and exactly what
I assumed the moment I read the Variety
piece a month ago. But when the content is as strong
as The Egos have been the last month - you have to
believe it will live on. Of course it won't Adam. Ha.
When has that ever been true? When has talent or
content mattered more than luck and timing? It's
funny, that's a truth I've known since probably Year 2
of The Journey. Talent and content are pre-requisites
to even enter the game... the rest is luck and
timing... but people HATE hearing that. They just
do. It goes against every single positive speaker,
positive thinker, against all of our human nature that
wants to believe we are actually in control. And
christ do us humans want that! The thought of giving
our absolute best and having it not even matter?
Unfathomable. And ooh that's another good lesson (the
locked entries are filled with the good
ones):
It's the ultimate
Journey truth - indifference. When your best isn't
good enough? Well, that's a fucking DREAM road
for me. That means your best actually got JUDGED. My
best...doesn't even matter. I could've seamlessly
pieced together 5 different versions of me, on world
famous sets, completely by myself even using my
OWN CAMERA, and it wouldn't have made any
difference here. Yes imagine if I had done that!
(sigh)
I actually am in
very good spirits to tell you the truth. I know
I made the most of the opportunity and what's out
of my control is like watching a movie. Not a big fan
of this genre however. :-)
Met with Vinnie
afterwards and that was rather depressing actually.
The man is certain my future lies in a talk show about
celebrities...on the internet. Like TMZ and whatnot.
The whole "Ego" thing is "too much pressure" on
the viewer. It must be - because 5 minutes into the
test show he asked me what was written on my mug. "Up
& Adam" I said sheepishly as if it the logo
hadn't been on-screen constantly up to that pont. LOL.
I'm torn because I know that he personally loves
the cleb-reality world. He wrote a song called
"Britney Breakdown" (that should explain the
"Commucation Breakdown" and "Bordering on Britney"
locked entry titles 6 months ago), and as a former
Howard Stern player - I understand where he's
coming from. I personally want nothing to do with that
and you're gonna be hard pressed to tell me "The Egos"
are "too much pressure" for the viewers. Now I
understand if it's "too much ME" for a show... but
that's why Up & Adam is made to center around the
guest. Blah blah - what am I defending. Vinnie's
a great guy and is happy to help. It's just
frustrating as hell that anyone can see those egos
bits and see me as an "internet guy", but he certainly
does. Strange little curse to have.
Anyway -
I get to forget about CBS for a few days and try
to enjoy some time with Donna. I was prepared for all
of this so it's not hitting me like a ton of bricks,
but I am pretty floored that my interview was
cut...and not even for time - it was done before the
show started.