Entry #52
2:16 PM, Saturday, June 17th, 2000:
If you picture me in your head when you read these...try picturing a woman instead. It all fits this week for some reason .
So I'm on this diet. In one of my palaur songs I say "Food does not occur to me, just hit 153"...yeah well I just hit 188...and that's just insane. That's 35 pounds. That's quite a bit. Now granted, during Palaur I was a nutcase and 153 (I eventually hit 151) was not healthy, but 188 is not gonna happen. The kicker is, our scale is way off. I got that 188 down to 178 about 10 days ago, and then got weighed at the doctors office... I WAS 187. That's 9 pounds off. So I was pushing 200. That's just too damn scary. ANYWAY:
The good news is that it's coming off very quickly. I'm at 173. 15 pounds in 18 days. Working out like crazy...and of course the diet. Jesus the diet. I thought other diets required will-power...this one is just nuts. The infamous Atkins no-carb diet. You no-carb until your goal and then go lo-carb for awhile. Well it definitely freakin' works...but EVERYTHING in the world has carbs. I mean everything. All sugar is out. No fruits, no vegetables...I think lettuce and onions are ok. No grains obviously or any bread...but the killer is...that basically leaves meat, and eggs. And water. At first I was thinking: HELL YES. I can handle eating cheeseburgers for awhile. First week it was cool...then I just went CRAZY. I've smelled bread in the past 3 weeks the way one would smell the perfume of a gorgeous woman. I've actually LICKED a slice of bread. LOL. That lasted for about 2 or 3 days..then the next week was fine. Now I'm back to that stage again. It's entered my dreams. 3 nights straight I've dreamt of eating a bowl of pasta and french fries...THE WHOLE DREAM. No matter what I'm doing in my dream, my right hand is holding a bowl, and the left hand is shovelling it in. Then at the end I think: "OH SHIT...this has carbs in it!" and I wake up. It's so strange. This is doing insane things to my mind. I'm taking these crazy vitamin supplements to keep everything cool and not to kill my kidneys because of lack of keytones. Now I just want it to be over. I feel like I'm mentally unbalanced...perfect example:
So I pull into Wendy's and get 3 double stacks. By the way, what a bitch it is to try and take the bread off while you're driving...ANYWAY...I get on the road, reach in the bag and they put a GREAT BIGGIE fry in there. For crying out loud. The car trip is roughly 30 minutes. So I have to try and not smell these bastards. Well I eat my burgers...without buns that equals about 4 bites. And there they are. So I take a fry and smell it. Then I think: "Hell I'll chew it up and spit it out...that should work just fine..." For the next 5 minutes I eat every french fry and spit it out into the leftover buns from the burgers. I wash my mouth out with water after every bite to make sure to ingest anything...and spit that into a water bottle. Now let me ask you: Is there anything at all STABLE about that scenerio? I swear I've gone off the deep end. That's probably the most disgusting thing I've ever done with food....uhm well in a car anyway. Who knows.
All I know is that it's working, and I figure by the end of the 5th week I'll break 160 and I can get back to normal. Enjoy the video.
YouTube link added 02.13.09
Oh, and it's hot. Outside, it's fine. Honestly, 100 degrees is nothing compared to Columbus at 85. But IN our apartment, it's incredible. Easily 20 degrees hotter...and as you know I work on this computer all day...
What else can I whine about... :-)
Hmm...our bed! That's a good one. Well the sofa bed is killing both Jess and I. It's shaped like a craft matic adjustable bed, but in a bad way. So there's an ad in the paper for a brand new, still in the plastic, king size bed with box springs and a frame for $350. Too good to be true really, but we'll check it out.
Can you say hotter than the face of the sun?
Pull up to this guy's house and he's got about 15 mattress stacked up in his driveway in plastic. (sigh) What do you do? I asked him about it and he said he has a friend in Vegas that buys them in bulk for showing rooms or something and he gets the excess at a great price...ahem yeah. And they aren't just a mattress...they got that pillow layer thingee on both sides. I saw a price on one of 'em and it was $1199. (Sigh) Morals are a tough thing sometimes. If he's selling it to us for $350, that means he got it for $200 or $250 MAYBE, and I guaran-goddamn-tee you there's something illegal is happening here. Then again, he could be telling the truth. I don't know enough about bulk mattress buying, but if a mattress that sells for $1200 can really be bought in bulk for $200 I'm pissed. Anyway...we got a great bed for $350, and once we move out of this place, I think Jes and I will be able to feel like humans again, as opposed to dumpster divers. It sucks, the story about finding the couch and stuff in the dumpster was a lot more entertaining than this...but oh well.
So we get it home (this process was waaaaay to long for one sentence, but nevermind that), and the sheets don't fit. (sigh) We had our king sized sheets from our old bed from columbus and this seemed about a half a foot narrower. That sickening feeling of getting screwed overwhelmed us. So we jump online and realize that California King is actually smaller than the Eastern King. I never knew that. And how the hell did this happen anyway? I picture some surfer dude trying to make a king size bed laying on the ground and having his friend draw a line around what he thinks is king. They produce the mattresses and find out that theirs is taller but narrower and just say: "fuck it...this is a CALIFORNIA king.." I don't know...but it's a nice bed and $350 is so insanely cheap for it (for whatever reason) that I'll shut up and enjoy it.
But I sure know how to bitch sometimes don't I?
Oh and Movie Minded...I can still bitch. We have to rework the entire show now. We finally get 3 episodes under our belt and our happy, and we find out the licensing for the trailers is $2-8000 PER show. Hollywood is still living in the television world of prices. They're yet to understand the internet. Oh well. So now we have to rework EVERYTHING to not include the actual movie, but to be creative. We have some great ideas. I think our reworking Movie Minded will be better...adversity is the OTHER mother of invention. What a great line...hmmm... Don't use it. :-)
Damn this is LOOONG.... I'll quit now...
Hey columbusmusic.com is gonna do a story on me soon! Be on the lookout for it...
Thanks for the support...we appreciate it...
Jess and Adam
original video file
JUNE 2000