10:11 PM, Thursday, August 20th, 2015:
And in the midst of everything... my kids. My family. My goodness how do you balance everything this year.
The truth is... you absolutely don't. Whereas in nearly every other business, you can find a groove and make it all fit - this idea was always a "sacrifice" year with a massive drop-off. Sacrificing everything because it's the only opportunity to make this much... which means you sacrifice your own birthday, other events and drop everything for a call/email or text because it's $1500 a pop and those pops will go away. Even WRITING that makes my skin crawl because I'm not that father. I would drop the world for a game of CATCH with my kids, but you have to think a bit more responsibly about this and it really will be all but over in a couple months. Of course there will still be some carry-over into 2016, but nothing will ever reach this type of insanity. And I couldn't be happier. I don't mind insanity, but I want Hats & Minigolf insanity. Being creative. Producing good content. Doing good charity work. Not, driving a Time Machine to a party and parking it for 3 hours...
...although holy shit I still can't believe this is my job.
The kids however, do miss me a bunch and even moreso because I took a TINY bit of downtime (an $8k August is downtime - LMAO) to build all this stuff. So I'm moving constantly. All I have are tiny moments throughout the day and a bedtime routine singing my twisted "Hush Little Baby..."
The good news is? That video of them not fucking killing each other is no longer as rare as it used to be. It's still rare, and 100% revolves around whether Vienna wants to be civil, but she's enjoying Cameron more. She can tell him to do stuff and he can kinda do it. She likes that. As well, that final hour before sleep? She is as precious as anything. I mean almost makes you cry sweet and somehow erases the absolute crazy meltdowns she has all day. All 2-3 year olds are emotional, but my goodness the difference between Vienna and Cameron is jaw-dropping. Cameron has his meltdowns when he's tired or a little frustrated... but, no, wait... he just kinda cries. Vienna - LOSES HER FUCKING MIND. Nearly hyperventilating. Why? Cameron is holding the box. And she isn't. Was it her box and he took it? No. He's just holding a box of fucking crackers. She was in the other room. She SCREAMS, hauls ass at him and tries to take it. He looks at her like she's nuts, if she does actually get ahold of it and starts wailing on him or pulling it from him? He bites her. She cries. He then holds the box and looks at her...
...and yes, of course you don't want the biting kid - but what the fuck, Vienna. Welcome life. If you go CRAZY, people will defend themselves and beat your CRAZY back and you're lucky if it's just TEETH. I believe this will get better as time goes on because she's quite capable. But good fucking goddamn if she's not having it that day? Whew. We've literally said to Cameron because Vienna SCREAMS at the sight of him, "Hey buddy, you probably don't want to walk into the house right now."
I mean, that seems awfully young to have to explain that to him, doesn't it? Time will tell.
And yes, I still miss them. Hahahahahaha. I've also gotten quite a bit closer to Cameron which is nice. He's still pretty attached to the TEET, but it's waning. Still won't sleep through the night though. Wakes up once or twice, and even with that - still only sleeps like 9 hours. It's crazy. So far off what kids are supposed to have at even Vienna's age.
This too shall pass, as will all this work. Almost Labor Day, almost done with everything (although I'm considering making a trellace now that the tree is gone, but will probably wait until after the tournament to do that. I've done more than enough with the GolfKon bar and now a Broadcast booth and second bar!
Whew. Get busy living or get busy dying!