9:35 PM, Wednesday, August 6th, 2015:
Fine. I'm a tree-killer.
Damnit, there's no way you'll believe me now.
This is how it felt when I announced I was marrying Talya.
I attempted to explain it... but eventually laughed and knew it was fruitless. Nothing less than a decade of marriage with kids wouldmake anyone believe me... halfway there.
So why did you NEED to take THIS tree down, hmmmmm? Well smartass, here ya go:
In 2007, the middle of this tree just collapsed into my yard. I cut it up myself, cleaned it all up and gave the last of the firewood away when The GolfKon Bar was built. Yeah, had it that long. The truth is, that tree doesn't belong in this yard. We're in a desert and trees were planted 50 years ago like we're in Montana or some shit.
When the middle of tree fell it left a hole, and wouldn't you know? Soon one side of it got the brunt of the wind, and THAT fell. Most fell behind the guesthouse, some landing ON the guesthouse and I dealt with THAT insanity back in 2011.
In 2012 of course, I erased the back of the guesthouse by adding a kitchen and bathroom and GolfKon now surrounds everything. Once again, the middle of the tree was hanging out over the yard and was in need of a severe trimming before it landed on one of our dogs or kids.
I took out two big branches and found, once again? There was a gap. The windy season would come, and now it will fall directly on the new addition.
So I sat on it for a day. Do I trim it? Why the hell is this tree here in the first place? It belongs in a field or in a backyard with some room. This tree is planted 5 feet from an alley, which now has a wall, and of course my garage/guesthouse/decks/golfkon around it. It's a disaster waiting to happen. Eventually, I will take it down no matter how long I rationalize putting it off....
...but it's a TON of shade. It's a beautiful tree. It blocks us even seeing there's an apartment complex behind us. I LOVE that. I DON'T want to get rid of it...
...but if it were gone? I bet I'd find a creative way to block the view of the apartments. Ya know? Change begets invention. Ya know, the whole necessity thing. If I can't have faith in my ability to be inventive what on EARTH can I have faith in? All I AM is inventive. The final straw for me was that it was going to happen eventually. Sure, I could pay $700 for a trim and keep that up for awhile but eventually, even out of necessity for keeping GolfKon clean to shoot episodes on, I will say fuck it and remove the whole thing. So I pay an extra $150 now and it's done.
So it's done.
And I fucking hate it. However, I've designed a little trellace for the eucalyptus tree with some lights, etc. that I think will be amazing. It will take quite awhile for everything to grow over, but eventually it will all make sense and wouldn't have been possible with that tree there.
Is that final tree in danger? Would you believe me if I said no? LMAO. It shouldn't be. It honestly shouldn't be. It does get eaten to fuck by bugs however. Seriously nearly every leaf is just a disaster. It flourishes though. It grew horizontally into my neighbor's yard a good 20 feet... so I need it to grow the OTHER way onto the trellace I'll build (you know, on my free time FML) and eventually all will be right with the world.