- 9:35 PM,
Wednesday, August 6th, 2015:
- Fine. I'm a
- Damnit, there's no
way you'll believe me now.
- This is how it
felt when I announced I was marrying Talya.
- AGAIN FUCKER?
- I attempted to
explain it... but eventually laughed and knew it was
fruitless. Nothing less than a decade of marriage with
kids wouldmake anyone believe me... halfway
- So why did you
NEED to take THIS tree down, hmmmmm? Well smartass,
here ya go:
- In 2007, the
middle of this tree just collapsed into my yard. I cut
it up myself, cleaned it all up and gave the last of
the firewood away when The GolfKon Bar was built.
Yeah, had it that long. The truth is, that tree
doesn't belong in this yard. We're in a desert and
trees were planted 50 years ago like we're in Montana
or some shit.
- When the middle of
tree fell it left a hole, and wouldn't you know? Soon
one side of it got the brunt of the wind, and THAT
fell. Most fell behind the guesthouse, some landing ON
the guesthouse and I dealt with THAT insanity back in
- In 2012 of course,
I erased the back of the guesthouse by adding a
kitchen and bathroom and GolfKon now surrounds
everything. Once again, the middle of the tree was
hanging out over the yard and was in need of a severe
trimming before it landed on one of our dogs or kids.
- I took out two big
branches and found, once again? There was a gap. The
windy season would come, and now it will fall directly
on the new addition.
- So I sat on it for
a day. Do I trim it? Why the hell is this tree here in
the first place? It belongs in a field or in a
backyard with some room. This tree is planted 5 feet
from an alley, which now has a wall, and of course my
garage/guesthouse/decks/golfkon around it. It's a
disaster waiting to happen. Eventually, I will
take it down no matter how long I rationalize putting
- ...but it's a TON
of shade. It's a beautiful tree. It blocks us even
seeing there's an apartment complex behind us. I
LOVE that. I DON'T want to get rid of
- ...but if it were
gone? I bet I'd find a creative way to block the view
of the apartments. Ya know? Change begets invention.
Ya know, the whole necessity thing. If I can't
have faith in my ability to be inventive what on EARTH
can I have faith in? All I AM is inventive. The
final straw for me was that it was going to happen
eventually. Sure, I could pay $700 for a trim and
keep that up for awhile but eventually, even out of
necessity for keeping GolfKon clean to shoot episodes
on, I will say fuck it and remove the whole
thing. So I pay an extra $150 now and it's
- So it's
- And I fucking
hate it. However, I've designed a little trellace for
the eucalyptus tree with some lights, etc. that I
think will be amazing. It will take quite awhile for
everything to grow over, but eventually it will all
make sense and wouldn't have been possible with that
- Is that final tree
in danger? Would you believe me if I said no?
LMAO. It shouldn't be. It honestly shouldn't be. It
does get eaten to fuck by bugs however. Seriously
nearly every leaf is just a disaster. It flourishes
though. It grew horizontally into my neighbor's yard a
good 20 feet... so I need it to grow the
OTHER way onto the trellace I'll build (you know,
on my free time FML) and eventually all will be right
with the world.