In the past 24
hours, I've realized something about my psyche that
has always been there. I think it just may be the key
to my success. It's why I can barely sit through a
movie without getting up: Nearly every personal
thought revolves around a self awareness of my
position in life. Whenever I have a moment to myself,
or am spacing off - I step back and look at where I am
in my career, and if I'm doing everything I can
to further it. Is this strange? Does anyone else do
this? This isn't just an everyday thing, this is a
constant throughout the day sort've thing. And the
reason that I just realized this? The results of these
thoughts is now incomprehensible. I simply do not
believe what's happening. I can't believe what
happened last night, I can't believe what happened
today, and I can't believe what's happening in
general. The story I'm about to tell is truly a head
shaker. For personal reasons, I'm just gonna write
every goddamn thing I can remember last night so
I don't forget it. This will be long-winded and may
not be horribly cohesive, but I'll try my best.
I do not want to forget these
feelings.
My dad finally did
get in. The second I picked him up I was instantly
cool. The zone. Nothing was gonna phase me at this
point. This was also the moment Jess started to get
really freakin' nervous. Are we not perfect? The
nerves just kind've transferred. Apparently I had
a lot of them to hand over and Jess and Charlotte had
to share them. LOL. Anyway, my dad was a little late
so we had to hurry home, get him changed and get
goin'.
Now, the only
thing that could ruin this night at this point would
be a blizzard. Something that would keep our people
from coming out. Well in LA, they call blizzards
"rain". And holy SHIT did it start raining. This is
not good. Simply put, people will not come out. I
laughed at Murphy for a moment, and simply
concentrated on getting there in one piece. As we
start to load in, I notice that the tables that we
were promised would be moved, were still there. On top
of that, they were all bolted together. (sigh). Both
Gary and Belinda said these puppies would be gone.
Well, luckily my dad and Jess rearranged everything
while I was setting up. This is very necessary as
they actually BLOCK the bottom TVs in the act. And you
take Spencer out of The Trinitrons, and you're missing
the show. Well Belinda comes in and says "this won't
work" because of fire codes. (sigh) This just adds to
the politics of this whole event. From her talkin'
shit about Jim Carrey and Don freakin' Knotts - to
Garrett Morris shooting one of his TV parts on Monday
(like she didn't know this a week before). And you
want some more? How's this for amazing:
As I said in the
last entry Gary apparently originally told Belinda
that I was just doing this for fun, and just for some
friends, and could she help me out. This was his idea
of helping me get in. Like you can't look at that tape
and realize this might be for more than "fun". Once I
finally bypass Gary and get Charlotte in on all this -
this all comes out. So Belinda gets Charlotte's guest
list and realizes how big these names are. Belinda
then proceeds to be elated about the prospects of our
show all of the sudden. So what happens? They book a
freakin' New York Benefit Show in the MAIN ROOM
completely out of the blue in a matter of days.
Apparently to lure these huge casting directors over.
And they take the name of my show off of the recording
on their phone line. Can you believe this. Can you
believe this fuckin' disrespect? On top of that...the
show on every sign, and recording starts at 8:30, but
I'm going on at 8. That fact and that they're trying
to steal the people Charlotte killed herself to get
there by diverting them to a second show is
absolutely, positively....
LA.
;-) - Actually
that's unfair to this city. That's
showbusiness.
So I'm set-up, in
the "Live Adam" garb, and playing the part.... As you
may remember, from the beginning we wanted to have me
be "Live Adam" the entire time leading up to the show.
Even to the point of pissing people off at what a DICK
I am. Then, when they see the show, they'll realize it
was part of the joke. Well, apparently my friends just
thought I was really pissed. LOL. Either that, or I
was being an "actor", and needed to be all stoic and
meditative. Even my dad said: "Uhm, is this how you
are before a show? 'Cause I can leave you alone." Man,
it was funny as shit. I kept trying to tell everyone,
I wasn't all nervous and being moody...lol. Then I get
word that Belinda's sketch comedy group was gonna go
on before me. ?!?!? The whole reason I'm goin' on
FIRST is because of how bad my set-up is. And now
these people are gonna come in and off from behind the
curtain steppin' on every wire, dodgin' between my
tvs?!?!? Livid. Fuckin' livid. Thankfully, they
decided to come onstage from the side and we avoided
potential disaster. Either way it was just one more
thing that they pulled on me knowing I was
already there and I couldn't do anything. Disrespect
is just beautiful ain't it? I don't mind going on
later, in fact I like that better, but she's still
just pullin' one over on me.
So the show starts
around 8:30 to an absolutely packed house. Alissa, the
one Aspen judge is sick as hell and couldn't make it.
BUT. (huge but here...) Said she would take the word
of both Anne Maney (head of casting at fox) and Grace
Wu (casting director at NBC). Both of them were there,
so it was on. The paramount casting director also
showed, and one other person that has erased my mind.
Amazingly of the 68 total people on Charlotte's list,
57 showed. That's the shiznit.
So I'm sitting
backstage on this metal folding chair with a harsh
flood lighot right next to my face waiting. What was
supposed to be a 15 minute act turned into 30 minutes.
Then, another comedian is to go on to bridge the 2 30
minute shows. Now I know I should be nervous at
this point, but I was damn near asleep backstage.
To have such a build-up for this event for weeks and
then to have to sit and wait right behind the curtain
for 45 minutes is just anti-climactic to say the
least.
I told the
announcer Emcee dude to NOT announce me, that my show
does it by itself, that he should just give me the cue
and I'd hit the tape. This was quite a strange request
for him. He seemed so befuddled. "So I just stick my
head back here and say "Hey Adam?" "Yeah, that's
better than hey Bob." He found that funny. Well he
finally did it around 9:15 and we were
off.
As I opened the
curtain I didn't immediately realize I had forgotten
my hat. Heh. Here's something Charlotte and I labored
over: The look of Adam. Sunday night talking about how
we finally had the look down and that the hat would
stay on the ENTIRE show. I could only imagine
what she was thinking at this moment. Somehow (and
I do mean somehow) I found a way right at the
beginning to jump back, get the hat, and be back on
stage while the audience was directed at Cameron and
Spencer. Even if you noticed it, it didn't seem to out
of the ordinary.
Now as far as the
show was concerned it was...god I'm shaking my head at
this moment. What words are there? Let me put it this
way...you're all gonna call me a pussy...LOL! But when
Spencer's song ended, and the audience was going
absolutely nuts, I had turned my back to them and
put my head down (as the embarrassed Live Adam). At
that moment, listening to the audience, I started
to tear for just a second and then pow back into
character. It was as if the real me was so happy and
so excited that inside I was screaming and jumping up
and down. And for one moment it came through me. I had
chills. It was the ultimate moment in my career. It
was the moment I knew I was making it big.
I wasn't "gonna make it" - I was "making it"
RIGHT THEN. And for a nanosecond it overtook me.
Fucking unreal.
The end of the
show actually made Jessica cry. They started clapping
to the beat of my song and followed it through until
the very end and then just SCREAMED. This show just
made me. I walked on that stage an absolute
nobody, and little did I know that once
I left that stage I would be treated like a
COMPLETELY diferent person. Goddamn, I just
reread that sentence. Can any of you fuckin' believe
this!?!?!? This is how it happens!! This is the story
of me making it. This is what I've wanted to know my
entire life! Here it is! Wow.
So Paddy, my dad
and I tear those puppies off the stage and goddamn
record time. Both just kept saying: "That fuckin'
ROCKED man". When we get everything off, I go to
walk to the back of the room and here come the hands.
You have to walk through the crowd to get to the back.
Now the next comic was already onstage since I was
semi-tearing down, so I was walking through in the
middle of his act. So I was quite suprised that people
watching him start putting their hands out and
congratulating me. It seemed rude as hell of me to
interrupt him but I wasn't...the audience was. Once
I got to the back, I had so many hands on my
back and my arms I felt like I was getting
robbed. Enter amazing moment #2. You know how you can
never understand how celebrities don't just love the
adoration? We think they're assholes for avoiding
their fans. How can N 'Sync not love the attention?
Well these weren't horny chicks, so I'll have to get
back to you on that one...but I'll tell ya - it was a
bit unnerving. I wanted to thank everyone for
their kind words, and shake everyone's hand but
I couldn't. All the while, Belinda is grabbing my
hand to follow her.
So she drags me
into the main room and shows me that there are roughly
12 people there. Yes, the big 500 seat room had 12
people whereas my room was standing room only, so
OVER the max of 129. She then says (you ready for
this?) "Mitzi called for the numbers. We've made over
$2000 in the original room, we've made less than $100
in here. She said that from this point on, I will
only play the Main Room."
I'm really not
sure I can explain how HUGE this is. In fact, I've
never heard of this happening to ANYONE the first time
they play The Comedy Store. And without showcasing for
Mitzi?!?! I don't think it's ever happened without
showcasing for her first. I mean, she's still never
seen me - and she makes THIS phone call?!!?! As I
write this, I'm trying to think of the company this
puts me in - and at this level... I think you all
realize what I meant by my first paragraph. This is
incomprehensible. I cannot believe that I'm even
writing it.
Belinda of course
hugs me and is just ecstatic. Heh. I find out later
that she then tracks down Charlotte (who was about
ready to gouge someone's EYES out over this whole
"benefit" bullshit)....tracks her down and tries to
get her to commit to a date right then. Charlotte just
smiles and says: "Call me tomorrow."
Hell yeeah
Charlotte. Hell-Yes. She basically said: "I'm sorry
Comedy Store, but I need to look at all my
options after tonight, and then make a decision on
when I can get back to you". Talk about a fuckin'
power shift. You know I don't want to be a dick
about this, but after getting treated the way both of
us were (even without Gary's interference) - this was
quite sweet.
So I make my way
to the patio and see Charlotte. Anne LOVED it, had to
run because she was sick as hell and said she'd call
tomorrow. The Aspen callback is basically set.
Charlotte had yet to hear from the rest, but to
me...this was all I wanted to hear. First of all
Anne's the HEAD of casting at FOX. So her loving the
show is monumental, but the fact that she will pass
that onto Alissa and I'll get my callback is just so
sweet. Then there's everyone else...
I really, really,
really have to hand it to Charlotte. To have ANY of
these people at your client's show is FUCKING big. The
HEAD of casting for FOX? She had numerous people this
important. She stacked the deck and we
WON THE HAND BIG TIME. SHIT! I just
slammed the droor on my desk and woke up my dad. LOL.
Goddamn one bedroom apartment, dad's sleepin' on the
couch, and I'm in the corner typin' this up. Something
tells me this scene will change sooner rather than
later. Heh.
So I'm on the
patio trying to comprehend all this. Thanking the
people leaving (sorry to the other acts!), and just
talking to everyone. Every few moments I do the
"Self-awareness" thing and realize what just happened
and where I am right at that moment. Just
mind-boggling. Around 10:45 Eddie Griffin jumps
onstage with a comedy troup so we all go up to watch.
I hate improv. I mean I hate it. Imrpov is a learned
skill that you practice. Basically anyone can be
trained to do it. Now to be GREAT at it is
something to watch, but those people are very, very
few and far between. Also the entire mentality of
improv is just unfunny to me. In many repsects it
seems to be the product of lazy comedians.
Improvisation to me is what you do WITHIN an act that
adds flavor. It is not something to build an
ENTIRE act around. Anyway, Eddie finally gets the
stage to himself and as if the night wasn't mind
blowing enough... he does his first few minutes on
me.
Eddie Griffin, a
guy that 3 years ago I'm sitting with Leon eating
white castles and laughing my ass off to his HBO
Comedy special, is doin' a stand-up routine on Adam
Kontras.
I feel like
I should stop writing, go to sleep, and then
start back up again tomorrow just for all of you to
SOAK IN what this means. Of course, no time would
pass for you guys, so that would be quite pointless
wouldn't it. LOL.
Now I would give
many parts of my body just to have this moment taped,
but alas there was absolutely no time to even think of
doing this. I will try my best to write as much as I
remember...this is absolutely NOT verbatim or
cohesive - just snippets.
"So apparently
I missed this guy doin 4tvs. What the hell is
this (someone explains it quickly) - so this guy does
a capella music with himself with characters in the
TV. That's bringin' technology into it man...this is
one rich mutha fucka. (laughing) This whole place only
has one fuckin' TV, and it's OUTSIDE, heh. (laughing)
This mutha-fucka has 4 of these bitches? (laughing)
This guy comes out here with all this - his family is
loaded...I came out with a hat that
I dropped on the ground. (laughing) I had to use
my imagination. He does characters? If
I had a tv for every one of MY characters
I'd have 57 tvs. (laughing) And I know the mutha fucka
is sittin in here, his TVs are still
here!"
Unfortunately this
is all I can remember. It was such a surreal moment.
First of all, I don't give a fuck what he's saying
about you. To just jump onstage and start your show
like that was an honor to me. Now as you all know, I
personally paid for those fuckin TVs and have
struggled like NO MAN to pull this off. Jess and
I have SCRAPED by - especially BECAUSE OF
the expense of 4tvs. So to think people will just
think I'm rich is a little stinging - but he never saw
the show. As well, this was the one thing I knew
comics would get pissy about. I especially thought the
other one man shows would bitch: "Hey if I had 4tvs, I
could do that, big deal" As if I'm just "lucky" to
have this set-up. They don't even see that the concept
is just as impressive as the show. And of course the
inference that without those TVs I couldn't be funny.
"I had to use
my
imagination"...whew.
These are all things that completely piss me off - but
again...he didn't see the show. But none of this
matters. None of it. Mutha fucka felt I was worthy of
being ribbed onstage just by what he heard from his
FRIENDS on his was in.
That, is,
absolutely, incredible. That ladies and gentleman is
"buzz". A "buzz" that started the second I left
that stage, and will now follow me for the rest of my
life. Seem a little extreme? Nope. Not even an
exagerration. This is the sound of me being the big
fish in an even bigger pond. Of course the buzz will
grow louder as the days, weeks and months pass, and
often times, grow a bit softer. There's always a new
thing, and it won't always be me...but the buzz will
always be there when my name is mentioned from this
point on.
Incomprehensible.
This morning
Charlotte was flooded with phone calls. From industry
and friends alike. You know what she spent most of her
time doing? Man, you guys are not gonna believe this.
Convincing people
that it was one person on stage.
Now how you can
get through that show and not figure it out is beyond
me. We even make reference to it in the show. Now once
you stop shaking your head at this - realize that they
loved the show -
EVEN THINKING THESE WERE DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Have you any idea what this means? This may be the
most astounding part of this entire entry. Some of the
people in that audience honest to GOD, thought it was
5 different people. Now that they know it's all me -
they HAVE to come back, they HAVE to tell all of
their friends, and now they're freaking out. Can you
imagine how you'd feel in their shoes? You'd be trying
to run through parts of what you saw in your head and
still not believing it. The urge to want to see that
bitch as soon as possible is absolutely great. This is
going to explode.
On the industry
side the absolute confirmation from Anne for Aspen, so
I will be performing at the HBO Workspace for the
4 judges within the next 2 weeks. Paramount is
bringing a bunch of development execs to the next
immediate show. The head of a production company
(whose name absolutely excapes me but she was Quincy
Jones' old partner during the Michael Jackson days)
want us to pitch The Trinitrons sitcom to them as soon
as possible. This is insane. Absolutely backwards. You
should have to ask the networks and the production
companies for any chance they can get you to hear your
pitch and she called US. Nothing specific from Grace
Wu yet, but Charlotte left a message. I think
there's something else, but honestly - I am in such a
daze right now you're lucky I can even
type.
I cannot
comprehend the magnitude of everything. This is
exactly what Charlotte said would happen. This is what
at moments in the past 6 months I've tried to prepare
for. It is happening RIGHT NOW. I can only shake
my head, upload the entry, and go lay down. Notice I
didn't say sleep. That would involve being able to
slow my brain down a little...and at this moment -
even the thought of THAT is
incomprehensible.
Adam
Oh yeah, the
video. We were told probably 11 times we couldn't
videotape. No, no, no. Apparently some dude took a
video, and then passed it around saying Mitzi produced
his show and it was this big legal battle.
No
matter what, we could not tape. We were
gonna sign a waiver saying we would
obviously not sell it. And honestly, I
just want to have a record of every
Trinitrons show because there will be SO
few. When I'm 80 I want to go back
and remember these moments. Didn't matter.
Charlotte called Mitzi personally,
everything.
Well
now the tables have turned. They want me
on the main stage? I'm taping that bitch
like crazy. I won't play it unless they
allow me. I'll still sign all the papers
saying I won't sell it...but I just
WANT this moment for posterity. Now as far
as Monday's show... I won't even tell you,
heh. I'll let you figure it out. I'm
kind've crafty when cornered.
Giddy-up.
