ENTRY #137
YouTube and Feedback links added 02.12.09
5:07 PM, Thursday, August 9th, 2001:
UGH. I hate this fuckin' journal sometimes. I feel I've put so much into the last 20 months, that I owe it to the entity that is "The Journey" - to keep you abreast of all the shit that goes on. I just DONT want to accept this...
J-Dog was last seen Sunday evening around 7 PM. Not sure if I've made it completely clear before, but J-Dog and Bob actually travel around the complex here at Magnolia Apartments. They've become everyone's adopted friends.
J-Dog was always an indoor/outdoor cat - and has been in heaven all year. He and Bob are on a great routine of waking up around 11 am, going out for about 90 minutes....then sleeping until 6 PM...going out for about 2 or 3 hours, and coming in for the night around 9 PM. It's a consistent cycle. One time he didn't make it back in, and I got up at the crack of dawn and went out back...called his name and he came running. That was as long as he's ever been gone. So there's definitely a problem.
The kicker, and this is where it gets really depresing, is you can't keep this cat inside for nothing. He will annoy the living HELL out of you. People have taken him into their apartments and within 15 minutes he's at the door wanting to go home. As well, he's got a harness (that he can't get out of) he wears 24-7 with his name, phone number and website. So he can't really be mistaken for a stray.
Because it's been so long, he's either dead or been taken incredibly far away. Well, I THOUGHT those were the only options. My friend Greg decided for some reason to tell me about the "B-Traders" in LA - that find cats and sell them to laboratories around town. Even supplied me with links to sites with pictures and everything. For fucking crying out loud. As if thinking of him hit by a car wasn't bad enough - now I have to picture him being tortured in a lab for the rest of his life. All this did was just make me sick to my stomach since J-Dog is about the friendliest creature on the planet. And it's been so long... It's not like he's never been outside and got spooked and ran away - he KNOWS where he is, he knows how to get home - and the only reason he isn't home is because he CAN'T get here. I can only pray that someone IS keeping him and finally lets him go so he can come back. Hell, at this point I'd be able to deal with J-Dog being hit by a car because at least it's instant. But man - he's so deathly afraid of cars...he didn't get hit. He was taken. (sigh)
And poor Bob. At first I thought Jess was just imagining things, but yeah, Bob is pretty depressed. He won't go outside at all, his early "Silent Bob" moniker is definitely out the window as he cries quite often around the house. He's not playful anymore...he just SLEEPS. He certainly knows something is wrong. It's so heartbreaking watching him be sad. I mean he followed J around constantly. Ate when J ate, slept when J slept - it's like he's off-balance.
It really is the price you pay when you have a pet such as J-Dog. He's SUCH a free spirit. I mean, how many pets you know would have the wherewithall to realize that the complex (which is quite big) isn't "really" outside... I mean Bob is so content with the little areas of grass, and the pool - and having people pet him. Not J-Dog. Muh-fucka RUNS to the outside gate and waits until someone opens the door. Then runs around in the "real" outside...then comes back and waits to be let back in. As if he knows that the complex isn't really outside. Heh. I've said for many years that his days were numbered, and that he wouldn't live a "normal pet" lifespan. He just wasn't normal. Dawg has his own WEBSITE for cryin' out loud.
But it doesn't make it any easier. Hell I got J-Dog before I was married to Burgundie. I was 4 months removed from my TEENS. He's followed me on soooo many adventures and lived them all with me. As the days pass...the depression just really starts to set in. I have the logic to know that he is just a pet, but am having a "fuck" of a time not just wallowing in complete sorrow. I feel like I let him down, by EVER letting him outside where people could harm him. There was no other way though. I should've just brought him back to live on some farm back in Ohio. Man, the fucker who took him and disregarded his tags should be shot. It feels almost moot to put up flyers because anyone in their right mind who sees him with his tags would call...and if someone took his harness off there were ulterior motives. Fuck. The mixture of anger and grief just keeps getting worse. I swear to GOD, if I saw him in the window of someone else's apartment in this neighborhood - I would LOSE it. (sigh)...
Oh well, what can you do. Visits to the pounds around town are forthcoming, assuming his harnes was taken off and then he was thrown out of wherever he was taken to. It's funny, in my original email to the fellow online supporters welcoming them to August I said it wsa gonna be a LOOOONG depressing month. I couldn't have dreamed it would get so shitty so quick.
original video file