Man, shit just
HAPPENS on round numbers. Ahh yes. The nice little
secret I've been hiding from everyone for over 3
months. I totally screwed up by not taking a
before and after picture...because I've lost a helluva
lotta weight.
I hope
you're giggling and don't think I'm THAT
vain, but it is a bit incredible. 50
POUNDS?!??! I don't know what's MORE
shocking, that I lost it...or that
I had it to lose! I didn't think
I was that big when I started,
so I didn't make a big deal
about it. DAMNIT, what a great video
opportunity. Oh well. You'll
like this one just as much.
So for those of
you who are interested in how the hell this
happened...here's the whole story:
As you know,
I do all of my paid and unpaid work from
RIGHT here. Sitting on my ass. Since September
that only increased since HollywoodScreentest.com
evaporated. Well by last Christmas I was surpassing
190. That's an insane amount of poundage. New Year's
came and went, and then Marty left. I was so
excited about 2001, and then that happened. Not sure
if any of you understood how bad Marty hurt me in
January by going home after 5 weeks. It was tough for
me to express. I had to turn it into a positive.
It is what I have done my entire life with any
negative occurances. Make it a positive, and it
lessens the negative.
Well Marty leaving
had to be looked upon as getting rid of an obstacle.
Harsh, I know, but that's how I looked at
it. I started looking at everything that's happened
out here, and how I HAVE been taking out the obstacles
to success. One BIGGIE was changing the 4tvs set-up.
Yes that incredibly DRY entry last year - was
truly revolutionary since it will now allow me to play
Comedy Clubs in a few months.
Well, my weight
was an obstacle - especially in this town. Everyone
has pecs and a flat stomache. Period. It's not even
applauded - not even a plus. It is the average.
Anything else is a minus. It sucks...it's LA (heh,
it's the TV you're watching and the movies you
see). Being out of shape, and wanting to be an actor
or entertainer is an uphill battle. And how
HORRIBLE would it be if I look back in 10
years and think I came
ALL THE WAY OUT HERE - but my ASS
kept me from getting ahead? It's the sad truth. And
hell, I may STILL not have the right "look" for
television and movies after I get in shape, but I
will not play the "what if" game.
So on January 6th,
I started up the regiment. Rice, Ripped Fuel, and
Riding. The one wedding present I thought we'd never
use became an amazing life saver. God love
rice-cookers. I never realized the old way of
making rice sucked, but wow rice cookers rock. Ripped
Fuel of course is just the shit. Simply 2 a day, and
it speeds your metabolism up and kills your appetite.
I love it. It makes your workouts much more
productive, and of course the cravings. Cravings are
always the bitch for me. And the most important piece
of the pie: the excercise bike. I figured out what my
target heart rate needed to be - (140-170 for at least
20 minutes) and went at it. That's roughly 24-28 beats
per 10 seconds. On the excercise bike doing a steep
hill it takes about 30 minutes to get your heart rate
up for 20 of those.
The results were
immediate. I lost a pound a day for nearly 2 weeks.
I KNOW - that's WAAAY too fast, but after truly
"sitting" for nearly 5 months, doing this much
activity made the pounds FLY OFF. It soon leveled
out, but I was still losing about a pound every
2-3 days. A trip to Vegas and San Diego caused me to
have a 3 week lull, but at least I didn't gain too
much then. The motivation was tough, but the results
were so good - it was hard not to be excited.
I soon added push-ups and sit-ups. This is where
it got truly insane, get this: At my peak I was
doing 2000 crunches a day. No, that's not a typo - Two
Thousand a day. It took me 45 minutes just to do them
all. I got to 40,000 total, and figured I needed
a new method. I have now changed over to weighted
, SLOW crunches with a 12 pound weight on my chest -
just doing 100 of those (now up to 200). The push-ups
have been at 200 a day for quite sometime
now...
So my original
goal was to lose 35 pounds. I was 190 - and
I figured 155 was perfect. And with the ab work I
was doing, I'd actually have abs! WOO-FREAKIN'-HOO!
Well, I got to 160 and realized that wasn't gonna
happen. How shitty is that? You get to a finish line,
and realize it ain't right. So I moved my goal to 150
- and then soon to 145. I started thinking:
THIS IS NUTS. I shouldn't be 145
pounds. No way. I knew I just still had too much
body-fat. So I found a body fat measuring scale that
sends an elctrical signal through your body and tells
you your percentage. Anyonw know they exist? It claims
to be comparable to the underwater body fat measuring
method and BETTER than the caliper method used
for so many years. HELLA-COOL. I got that
RIGHT at the end of March when I was showing 151
on my scale:. Then came the revelation...
Not only was my
scale nearly 7 pounds off (which I figured from
doctor visits) - my body fat was 16%. Now, that is by
no means fat. But it's on the high side of the healthy
scale. 8-20% is the healthy scale for a man between
20-39. So I understood why I wasn't getting those abs.
As well, I was 158.5 pounds. It made me wonder
how much I REALLY was when I started...so
I decided to do a little test. As you may know,
if your scale is off - it's never EXACTLY 5 or 6
pounds off. It has to be GRADUAL (they all start at
ZERO). So I decided to hold 39 pounds and get the
reading where I was at the beginning: 190 on my
old scale - and then see what I was on the
correct scale.
NOW THIS should've
been on tape. I'd have even shown my naked ass on tape
trying to do this simply because it was so
funny...
Imagine a naked
man trying to find household objects that were 40
pounds to carry into the bathroom. It was the most
AWKWARD thing I've ever done. And to my surprise
- NOTHING was enough. My speakers? NOPE.
A whole bunch of DVDS? NOPE. I finally got a
foot locker and just added a bunch of shit until it
finally worked. FINALLY (and goddamn is 40 pounds
heavy). So here's a naked man, holding a footlocker
full of shit over his head in a TINY ass bathroom
trying to read a scale. And it read 190.
Ok.
So then
I jumped on the new scale...
I WAS 200.0
ON THE DOT. I couldn't believe it. Put
everything down, weighed myself again... 151 on the
old, 158.5 on the new. Then with all the extra weight
- 190 on the old, 200 on the new. I was
TWO HUNDRED POUNDS. Now I don't want to rub
this in for those of you who know the 200 pound mark
well...but for me - this simply has never been
approached. EVER. Though shocking, the good news was I
had lost a little more than I thought since I was
fighting this FUCKED up scale. So whereas at
THAT point I thought I had lost 39
pounds, I had truly lost about 41.5 - so that was
cool. But the thought that I had actually hit 200
was mind-boggling (I'm 5" 10' by the
way...).
So now I'm 151 -
and my bodyfat is at 13.5%. I've got a ways to go in
the toning and muscle department, but I'm writing now,
because the true body-fat lowering could take many,
many months and the true "wow" factor is now. As well
I've found that what everyone wants to know is HOW you
do it. HOW do you eat less and workout when you have
no motivation to do so. Here's the answer:
You
don't.
If you don't want
it, it won't happen. It is work. PERIOD. It is
HARD work. You do have to fight cravings. You
will feel like you're starving yourself. There's
really no big secret. These are by no means "Doctor's
Advice", but here were the 5 little things that helped
me:
1.
HIT YOUR TARGET HEART RATE
FOR AT LEAST 20
MINUTES EVERYDAY:
PERIOD. NO 3 days
a week, no "only on weekends". DO IT. And realize
that doesn't mean 20 minutes on the bike...it means
probably 25-30. If you're 20-30 years old, that's
basically 24-28 beats every 10 seconds. Keep that up
for 20 minutes straight. And OF COURSE you'll
miss days here and there, shit happens: but don't set
your goals at 3-4 times a week. Because shit will
STILL HAPPEN - and now you're at 2 times a week.
EVERY SINGLE DAY. If you can't do that, you
don't want to lose weight.
2.
PORTIONS:
Good FUCK we eat
too much. We just do. The portions at restaurants are
so big, the often have about 3-4 days worth of meat on
them in ONE MEAL. As well we get used to that -
and just COOK TOO MUCH - and then
EAT TOO MUCH. Honestly, and this is a bit
extreme, but I eat about 1/3 of what I used
to a day. 1/3. Now I was obsessive and
REALLY wanted to lose weight, and was probably
dangerous at times - but I would listen to my
body when it got too scary. I was taking sugar
out of my diet too, and every once and awhile - my
body NEEDED it. Like I had to have a bowl of
cocoa puffs - PERIOD. So be reasonable, but portions
are so important.
3.
DRINKING CALORIES:
This is a cool
mental thing.
DON'T EVER DRINK CALORIES. You don't
feel like you've had any calories when you
DRINK them. I mean, a can of COKE has 120
calories in it. I have friends that do a six-pack
a day...EASY. You've just wasted 720 calories - and
you haven't eaten A THING. Get your vitamins from
VITAMINS, get your fruit from ACTUAL fruit, and
drink water. Lots of it. Now obviously, drinking a
glass of orange juice is not BAD for you, but you're
better off EATING a few oranges, because MENTALLY -
you'll feel you've eaten. Trust me, it
works.
4.
EXACT SAME MEAL EVERYDAY:
I am pretty sure
this is only me... heh. But I like not having to
THINK about what to eat. My big meal was nearly always
the same: A cup of rice, a grilled chicken
breast, and some fat free gravy all mixed up.
I threw in vegetables every once and awhile, and
of course munched on carrots throughout the day.
I know most of you are thinking: HELL NO.
But to me, looking forward to the same meal everyday
helped. And when I was losing weight -
HELL YES. That was the kicker.
5.
KEEPING A JOURNAL:
Ooh - yeah, bug
surprise. I only document every aspect of my entire
life. LOL. But seriously, seeing the work and watching
the totals - made all the difference in the world.
This was about the ONLY thing that EVER - and
I do mean EVER - kept me going on that bike for
30 minutes a day. I HATE working out. I am bored
to TEARS when I work out. I'd rather do
ANYTHING...but I didn't want to NOT workout
because I didn't want to fill in ZEROES across an
entire row of my workout. It kept me going. And for
those of you who'd like a guideline...here it is. This
is inSANELY anal, but for those of you who'd like
an instruction manual for losing 50 pounds...you'll
enjoy this. The rest of you will wonder strongly about
how obsessive I am. Blame my
father...
JOURNAL KEY:
TIME = minutes on
excercise bike (total is in hours)
LEVEL = resistance
level going UPHILL. (1-40)
CR = Crunches (on
3/24 I changed to weighted crunches)
P =
Push-ups
RF = The time that
I took Ripped Fuel (2 pills unless otherwise
noted)
FOOD:
FFG = Fat Free
Gravy
GCB = Grilled
Chicken Breast
BORG-C = Bowl
of Rice (1 cup uncooked) with grilled chicken
breast and fat free gravy
BORG-TV = Bowl
of Rice with Ground Turkey and
vegetables
TSFFG = Turkey
sandwich with Fat Free Gravy
BORIC = Bowl of
Rice with Indian Chicken (fat free concotion Jess
made)
BORGV = Bowl of
Rice with grilled Chicken breast, fat free gravy
and vegetables
Now exact diets
can vary, all I did was watch my calories and
fat. PERIOD. It's all you truly need to do. If you
want to lose weight fast, eat right under 1,000
calories a day and workout - you will. The crash diets
where you zero in on ONE thing...results will always
be temporary. When I tried the "no-carb" diet last
summer, I did it just to see if I could. I
was in NO WAY trying to seriously become a
healthy and fit person - I just wondered if I was up
to the mental challenge for a month. Basically, there
is NO need for these diets. Zeroing in on one
"type" of food is sooo stupid.
WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS?!?! It's so
simple folks: Get your heart rate up and eat SMART.
That's it! And you know DAMN WELL what smart
is. If it says fat free you don't eat the
WHOLE BAG - because you can still take in
thousands of calories - DUH.
And finally as I
stated before - you have to want it. Losing weight
means your body is sacrificing and is burning fat.
You're gonna be hungry. ESPECIALLY if you're used to
eating like I used to. You can of course try
"specialized" diets that allow you to eat a lot more
and still get results...but you're asking for it. Once
you go off it, you're still eating the same - but if
you get in the habit of eating less...you just may
change your life.
So do I keep it
off? Well, I'm not done. I want a severely toned
body. Muscles and all. Not too much, I don't want
STALLONE muscles, but a bit bigger. And as far as
maintaining the diet...I've been eating like this for
over 3 months. My idea of "cheating" is a 6 inch
subway club with no cheese, mayonnaise, or oil. LOL.
Grease KILLS me. I still crave it, but if
I eat it - I pay. So I wholly believe
I've changed my entire life. I didn't just lose 50
pounds, I lost some genetics. Broken a chain of bad
eating and excercising habits that have plagued the
Greeks for centuries. LOL. And of course, time will
tell...
Well I'm off for
Columbus. Hope to see many of you and play some
videogames. As well, I'll allow my Greek Granparents
yell at me for not eating as much as I used to at the
big family dinner. LOL. I can't wait for that.
They're gonna be REALLY PISSED. LOL. "You're too
skinny!!!"
And my oh my, is
that not the best thing I've heard all
year.
