ENTRY #119
YouTube and Feedback links added 02.13.09
1:15 AM, Saturday, April 14th, 2001:
I know I said that I'd introduce you to "The Trinitrons" for this entry, butit now seems that Michael Jordan's return is more than just a rumor. Whereas the first reports a few weeks ago could be blown off as excited fans "hoping", the fact that Abe Pollin (another Wizards owner) now has "gut feelings" (and Michael's insistence on 99.9% sure he's not coming back), it's quite reminiscent of 1995. I don't wanna pull "sportswriter" here, but...well I'm pulling "sportswriter" here. If you could care less about Michael Jordan, feel free to skip to the last few white paragraphs (DON'T SKIP 'EM THIS TIME - LOL) to catch up on other news...
Mr. Jordan,
In March of 1995, you turned my life upside-down by announcing your return to the NBA. I taped EVERY game that year, and every play-off game for the rest of your career. In November of that same year, I had the opportunity to meet and talk to you in Cleveland. The following April I sat in the locker room with you again as you tied the All-Time record for wins in a season. You had an immense impact on my life, and none more impressive than the final 40 seconds of your last game in which you drove for the lay-up, stole the ball, and hit the championship winner. You ended your career in a way the rest of the sports world can only dream of. I mean JESUS MAN, you retired winning 3 straight titles...then came back, DID IT AGAIN - AND HIT THE CHAMPIONSHIP WINNING SHOT! Disney executives wouldn't even greenlight THAT script. It's a story I will tell my GRANDKIDS man. It's mythic. It's unprecedented. And it's about to have a footnote...
A footnote where a 39 year old man (yes, THIRTY-NINE next year) plays on a LOTTERY team with a bunch of immature, untalented 20 somethings, and overweight, coat-tail riding veterans. Your will can overcome quite a few things, but it will never overcome time. You'll play about 15-20 minutes a game. You MIGHT average 20. You certainly won't hit 50%, and you WILL NOT make the playoffs. You will be the HANK AARON of basketball. The one thing you said you'd NEVER be. And you can't turn back from this. Once you start this 3rd comeback, you'll have to keep going further and further. If you fail at first...you'll have to run it into the ground. You'll be so stubborn to think you can do it, you'll play ANOTHER year....you'll hit 40 on the basketball court. You think Sports Illustrated was unfair with "Bag-It Michael"? JUST WAIT.
Listen, if Phil and Scottie were strugglin' in Chicago...I't'd make more sense. Pick up Chris Webber and go for another 3. But the Wizards? Richard Hamilton? Jahidi White? COURTNEY ALEXANDER? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING? I mean Chcago just beat the Wizards a few nights ago. Why would you possibly go through with this. Which begs even more questions...
-Ticket sales low? I see they're taking deposits on 2001-02 season tickets...are you trying to get bites on the rumor though you know you're NEVER gonna play again?
-Simple stock booster? These rumors can't hurt.
-Keep interest in a failing NBA? There were empty seats in the PLAYOFFS last year. Goddamn.
I know those are utter bullshit, and I can't IMAGINE you'd keep this going for such immoral reasons, but these are the questions that HAVE to come up when you allow the comeback rumors to persist with your 99.9% quotes. Let me say what I'll truly believe until I hear you say it (or fax it)...
I believe that you're just getting in shape 'cause you grew that pot-belly you talked about in 1993. The best way you know how is by playing some B-Ball. Your competitive juices are flowing, and you go out there every time...just testing yourself. It's a zen trick. You're putting yourself IN THE NBA...and enjoying the game. Who knows, maybe you've still got it. But I have a feeling when it's all said and done, a slight injury this summer will open your eyes. You'll think it's minor, but then you'll see the recovery time of a man approaching his 40's. It ain't worth it. It just isn't worth it.
So please Mr. Jordan, Let it Be.
Adam Kontras
In Other News:
YOU THE MAN DAN ORR. I flip to "Who wants to be a millionaire" last week and POW! There's my ELEANOR LESBO friend: Dan Orr from QFM. And dawg has the balls to GUESS for $125,000 rather than take the $64,000 and run. TOTAL GUESS. Uhm, totally wrong - but STILL. Mad props to you Mr. Orr. You did great.
So I'm goin' back over the past 118 entries (man some of those videos are funny), and watched the "unreleased" Dave Foley video, that Dave did for me back in November that I didn't want to post because I told him it was for friends and family. Well you all know this is a "friends and family" site, but I still didn't want to be a DICK and just post it to the world. I then watched it again and man...he's such a COOL freakin' guy to have done that for a SCRUB SET P.A. You gotta see it.
I think that's what makes it so special...ya know? He did it just for me and my friends, with no expectations other than to make my day... and I want to reward that type of sincerity. Obviously if I ever get word that someone associated with him wants it taken down for ANY REASON, that's fine...but until then - please watch this video from November...it's quite cool.
I played some softball with Fred Willard yesterday in the park behind my apartment. How obtruse is that? LOL. You may not recognize his name, but you know his face. He's been doing comedy in movies and tv for YEARS. Most recently on "Best in Show"...in which he got quite a bit of Oscar buzz because he was so damn funny. Too bad the academy treats comedy like the plague. I'm thinking of getting the "Best in Show" DVD and asking him to sign it if I see him out there again. Is that annoying or flattering? We'll find out...
And finally, this is the last you will hear a teaser of the big secret I've been talking about for the past few months. LOL - not a baby. Dawg actually emails me and says: "Boy or girl" - UHM NO. Wouldn't be building that up right now. And how the hell can that be something you work on for 3 1/2 months? LOL. I go back and forth whether or not anyone will think it's a big deal except me - but then I realize I'm just too close to it all, and it is indeed pretty cool. Pretty amazing. And when you check your mail Wednesday morning, April 18th...you'll be able to decide for yourself.
...but if you do... WOO HOO!!! I'LL GET TO SEE YOU PLAY AGAIN!!!! I'll tape every game!!!! I'll actually pay outrageous prices to see a WIZARDS-LAKERS GAME!!!! KOBE and JORDAN!!!! THAT'LL FREAKIN' ROCK!!! !@#$%^&*!
original video file
APRIL 2001