ENTRY #115
YouTube and Feedback links added 02.13.09
...are completely unrelated.
2:46 PM, Monday, March 26th, 2001:
It's a double whammy today. Thus such a strange title for today's entry. I had a planned entry, and then was inspired yesterday to write more. I'll start with the inspiration.
See The Oscars last night? Can you believe they were under 3 1/2 hours? WOW. I have been taping every show since 1989 and that is the first time it didn't go 4 hours...and most times it apporached 4 1/2 hours. I will refrain from giving my opinions on the show like everyone seems to be doing. "No one gives a shit what you thought about the show..." has gone through my mind all day as I flip through the internet. There was one moment, and one moment only that stood out to me as incredibly special. Steven Soderbergh's speech.
Not only did he do what should become the NORM in Oscarland (here I go with my opinions...grrrr) - thanking people privately...what he said really hit me...
Here's the video with a message and his personal text:
"There are a lot of people to thank. Rather than thank some of them publicly, I think I'll thank all of them privately. What I want to say is, I wanna thank anyone who spends part of their day CREATING. I don't care if it's a book, a film, a painting, a dance, a piece of theatre, a piece of music...anybody who spends part of their day sharing their experience with us - I think this world would be UNLIVEABLE without ART and I thank you. That includes The Academy, that includes my fellow nominees here tonight. Thank you for inspiring me, thank you for this."
Quite simply the most inspiring thing I've heard in a loooooooooong time. As you can see by hopping around the site, I put a stupid amount of work into this site. Truly not worthy of my time in a sense. People rarely read all these entries (for now)...and I know that. Many a hidden counter within these entry pages has shown less than 10 hits. 3 of which include myself, Jessica and my father - LOL. So why the hell do I put so many hours and hours into it? I have to. I have to create. I have to write, I have to produce the videos, I have to sing the songs, I have to act the parts, I have to direct my life, and I have...to be...an artist. And I think that's what hit me so hard about his speech - thinking of myself as "an artist".
I'm not a big fan of most people within: "the art world". It's filled with such arrogance and such entitlement, it's something I don't strive to be a part of. But I am an artist. Goddamn am I an artist. I'm the most obsessive artist I know. I feel I have to - EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE - produce something that is tangible and creative. So much so it's a challenge like no other to "focus" on just one (though you bet I am lately)...
So thank YOU Steven. I felt so proud to be who I am at that moment - I can barely express it. And for an artist, that's saying a lot. You have inspired me in a way that I certainly wasn't expecting. And isn't that the best way to be inspired? I will thank you in person someday.
Alright - so the original reason for this entry. So I get a call from MSN, my DSL provider last night...starting as early as TODAY - my DSL will cease to work. Northpoint commnications is no longer working with MSN, and they were the provider. So I am screwed. After months and months of fighting and 5...yes 5 technicians in my home trying to get it to work - I have it for about 7 weeks. GREAT. I get to keep the modem which is cool, but most companies make you use their own. My biggest bummer was of course the access to my mp3s which through NAPSTER has been going amazingly. Nearly 1000 people fully downloaded my stuff - and lord knows how many people downloaded from THEM. But without a broadband connection it's worthless. So before armageddon hits, I've uploaded Star Wars Blew, Hearing My Thoughts, Stronger Than Before, and The Late Show Anthologies 1&2, and 3&4 to Scott's server. I then scanned the backs of all my CDs and made 200 seperate FREAKIN' HOTSPOTS for you to click on to download the mp3s. Yeah - that was a good waste of about 2 1/2 hours. JESUS. As well mp3s is now a permanent link on the site and "The Trinitrons" will be moved to the "LINKS" section of 4tvs in April. Not sure why I didn't put it there to begin with - guess I was just excited.
And of course the 4tvs Productions section STILL isn't done. I've outdone myself with that - but 4tvs Productions is my most vaiable money-making prospect for the near future so I need to invest some time into it.
I will try - oh how I will try - to make my next entry 4tvs Productions...but something tells me I'll find some excuse to do another entry before then. Heh.
Thanks again Mr. Soderbergh,
original video file
MARCH 2001