ENTRY #212
YouTube and Feedback link added 02.11.09
3:55 AM, Sunday, August 11th, 2002:
No one should have to make these kind of choices about their pet. Quick rundown on J-Dog for the newbies. Got him in March 1996 at 5 weeks old. My favorite creature for years. He was with me before I was married to my 1st wife, through the marriage, through the divorce. He's lived in 5 different homes with me in Ohio and California. Through the kindness of my apartment manager he and Bob were allowed to roam the complex and I always had them both in at night. On August 5th, 2001 he was stolen and taken somewhere far away. I say that only because no one could've kept that cat inside without losing their mind. He's got a set of lungs on him that makes me jealous as a singer. LOL. It was the worst thing to have happen to me though. Not knowing. Was he killed? Was he being tortured? Was he hungry? Fuckin gnawed at me. Miraculously 4 1/2 months later on December 19th he made it back. Since that time he's lived in the complex rec room and basically lived the dream life. Everyone here loves him, pets him, hell people even buy him cat food cause they like him so much. He always stays within a good radius of the complex and is most certainly in heaven. That all comes to an end today.
J-Dog periodically gets trapped in hallways in the complex. He follows people in and they don't notice it, and he gets stuck for hours. Then when someone opens the door he runs through that door...only to find himself stuck again. Well he ran into an apartment one of those times, freaked out, and pissed. Guess who's apartment...
I don't know what's funnier...that it was soiree thrower's apartment, or what he must've been thinking knowing it was my cat. LOL. They rented a steam cleaner which was cool, but they also wrote a formal complaint letter and that unfortunately was it. Game Over. The apartment manager's supervisor got wind of it and it's all over. J-Dog must be gone today.
This wouldn't be so tragic considering the amount of takers there are for him, but unfortunately he simply cannot be inside. I don't mean he's unhappy, he's a fucking BEAST. At vet check ups, we have to pay for an $85 shot just to calm him down so they can look at him. He goes fuckin' WILD. He cannot be inside, or in a cage for ANY amount of time. Because of this, all humane societies, adopt-a-pet, damn near every "saving cat" places are out. They would put him down within 2 days. And if that's his fate, fuck that - I'm gonna be there to hold him. I don't want him to be alone and crazy as he goes. I'll take him to the vet and sit there with him before I let that happen. Oh shit, here come the tears. GRRRRRRRRR.
The other option is of course some open farm type setting much like he has now. Food, and freedom. Gary knows some people about 6 miles away who feed some stray cats. Dropping him off there and hoping he sticks around (he pretty much despises all cats), could work but it's pretty much throwin' his ass out into the wild exactly like he was last year at this time. I get to wonder forever what the hell ever happened to him. Christ, J-Dog will probably think this is his Annual Challenge - HAHAHA. "So they put me in a car, drive me miles away, and see how long until I can get back? Whatever. Stupid Humans." LOL.
In the long run however, there's nothing really funny about all this. This is my last day with J-Dog. I'm pretty furious really. It all seems so incredibly unfair. My heart tells me to put him down. That it's torture to take a cat so loving and drop him off in some strange neighborhood and hope he makes it. Not only are his chances slim, but people do really, really bad shit to animals. So I'm supposed to leave him there and then think about it for the next 6 months? Years? Do I really want to go through this again? Am I being selfish worrying about my feelings when J-Dog would pretty much vote for...LIVING. Heh. Tough situation to be in. I won't be able to put him down though. I'll take the psychological stress and give him the shot of making it on his own.
It may be a game time decision though. What's crueler? If he was HUMAN of course you don't put him down, but is it really OK to take an animal and drop it off in the middle of nowhere. I mean there's actual COYOTES out here. LOL. They eat little DOGS all the time. Yeah these people will feed him, but he knows where home is. He will try to make his way back like he did before. Busy streets, highways. It's like we're setting him up to get killed. To me that seems cruel. Knowing he's gonna try to get back. AHHHHH. But putting him down?!?! God this fucking blows. If only he could at least hang out in a cage. You know? Not be the tazmanian fucking devil when in captivity it's feasible we could find him a perfect situation. But fuck, who am I kidding. I'd have to take his ass out of state...and it wouldn't suprise me if he found me in 2004.
I'm just fucking pissed. Angry as hell. A perfect situation ruined because J-Dog can't figure out the complex's hallway system. Ever wish you could have 30 seconds to talk to your pets? Like they were human. I could tell him all he needed to know about this place in 30 seconds. He would just need to understand me for a few moments and then he could go back to being a cat.
Nothin' like focussing on reality Adam. Very good. Oh well, this is life. If this isn't the most glaring reason why you never, ever, ever let your cats go outside - I don't know what is. Once it's in their blood, it's all over. Goddamn this is going to break my heart. Here's prayin' for a miracle.
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