ENTRY #209
YouTube and Feedback link added 02.11.09
1:47 AM, Wednesday, July 10th, 2002:
OK! I have to write about this now! I can't keep ignoring it, 'cause it's blowing me away.
I may or may not have mentioned that Ron Gamble (Loyal Late Show Listener) wrote about Palaur in his Wrestling column on 411wrestling.com. Not sure WHY, as the only wrestling in Palaur is of a "different" nature, but he thought he'd pass it on to his fellow Wrestling freaks as a great online experience. What has followed, since I knew nothing of him doing this, is a series of emails out of the blue that have really effected me. The first ones were rather funny: "YOOU DICK, how could you do this." - And I'm all thinking: Huh? Who are you and what did I do. Took a moment to realize that they were talking about Palaur.
More recently however I've been getting amazing reactions. People are sincerely moved by the music, by the story, the emotion is incredible. People are angry, pissed, every emotion you can have. I keep getting the emails, and I keep reading them in utter amazement. Why? Well that's character development moment #209.
I was UBER-passionate about Palaur.com when I first finished it. I knew that it was special. I knew there was the ability to take people on such a journey, that no other medium could do. To make you laugh, cry, SPIT, just everything. From so many angles, the instant messages, the music, the movies, the entries within, from every side you felt that experience- - you were there.
Of course, by the end I just gave the thing away. I was sick of dealing with asshole credit card billing companies screwing people over. Not getting my checks - it was one headache after another. It made Palaur so damn convuluted that no one could get through it. AHHH. I just opened it all up - made it free and hoped people would enjoy it. I really never heard from it again. LOL. From time to time one person would catch it and we would talk. But seriously, 2 years passed and what I was once so passionate about was a distant memory.
Then this happens. And there's more reaction to Palaur now then there was when I originally put it up. And strangely enough - from MEN. I was pretty certain that this was a "Chick" site. It doesn't strike me as something most men would dig - but wow was I wrong. So many men have been through this and relate. I'm getting emails from what I picture as the manliest of men: Wrestling junkies, talking about crying reading some of the passages. Welling up listening to some of my songs. It's so amazing to me.
So I of course went back and listened to some of those songs, and wow. I'm right there again. What makes the songs so incredible is you, for the first time, see EXACTLY what made that song. You see all the events, hear all the events, read all the events that lead to me finally needing to write. It makes the song THAT much more touching. Specifically because I'm NOT generic. I don't write relatable very often. I speak SPECIFICALLY to what I'm singing about not worrying that others may not know the back story. It's a curse of a true writer who doesn't want to confrom to Top 40 for sure, but when you KNOW the background...wow. The song becomes so much more real.
So the emails keep trickling in, and I am just revelling in it. It's amazing that a bunch of absolute strangers can effect me so deeply. Feedback is king to me. To know that these guys, unknowingly just started reading, couldn't stop, and felt ALL the emotions I did - that's basically, in a nutshell, what I live for. That is the mutha-fuckin' oscar to me. The more people that feel that from something I created, the happier and more satisfied I am creatively. Money will never replace that. Ever.
Ok, this is just my long-winded way of saying thanks, and slowly finding out who the hell I am. Funny, I knew that when I was 20, but now all the sudden I'm clueless again. It's amazing how people can effect you ain't it.
Moving on. In "OH-MY-GOD-YOU'RE-A-LOSER" News, I'm actually in the newest issue of Nintendo Power. My first national publication exposure is in a fucking videogame magazine. I am pretty jizzy about it. LOL. Gettin' Jizzy with it. Ha! I remember bringing the first issue of Nintendo Power to school in 6th grade. Super Mario Bros. 2 on the cover. 157 issues later, and I'm in it. That's nuts. It's tiny, but it's me:
There I am, beating the other 3 senseless to win my WaveBird.
Here of course is the cover of the magazine (Issue 158), if you'd like to pick one up to add to your Adam Kontras scrapbook - ROFL:
Where's Waldo?
And here is the infamous page 35 in which I make my TINY debut:
I'm still shaking my head at it all. As well there's video of me winning it on the Planet GameCube DVD. Duh, I made it. LOL. Like I was keeping THAT off. Heh. It's amazing how into gaming I am, and how little time I actually spend playing. I seriously read more about it then I hold a controller. There's something so strange about that.
In 4tvs news, I'm outlining the parts of the new show and starting to gather all the video material. What a mess. As well I'm putting together the Trinitrons DVD that I'll release in Columbus when I come back this fall. End of August/early September. Planning on doing The Trinitrons DVD release party type thingee for everyone. The DVD is gonna rule. Now to find just what parts to use. Quite a headache. So many shows to choose from. Hard to know even where to begin.
Ok, so I got lots to do. Thanks to the wrestlers for lifting me up a bit. And of course, thank you Ron. I miss ya.


original video file
JULY 2002