ENTRY #197
YouTube and Feedback link added 02.11.09
12:32 AM, Monday, April 29th, 2002:
Dear GOD. I simply have not had a moment to spare since my show Wednesday. And yet again the culprit are these GODDAMN MiniCases. I'm sending out 3-4 packages a day. MiniCasers now span 25 states and 4 countries. It's getting a little overwhelming really. I'm trying to find ways to streamiline the process, but whew - it just keeps on comin'. My initial estimate of a couple hundred MiniCasers the end of August (when Mario comes out) is starting to look more like 1000 in which case - I'm in some serious shit. It's one thing shipppin' 200 cases...it's an entirely DIFFERENT thing shippin' 1000. But if there's a demand, there is a way to meet that demand profitably. I will find that way...
The good thing though, is it certainly ain't keepin' me from my "career". Improv rehearsals have just been a blast and the show I did for them last Wednesday was very fun. Unfortunately - it took EVERY SECOND of my waking LIFE to get that thing running on DVD. MiniCases, DVD, MiniCases, DVD. It's been all I think about. I also had to practice Live Adam, which was fun. I absolutely love the new open. SO anyway I set up the TVs and unfortunately had forgotten my DVD remote and my clothes, so I couldn't CHANGE as Adam, but it didn't really matter. The DVD was able to play just fine, and everything went off without a hitch...
...of course until the show started. Now luckily, because I "got" the other members of the group with the cell phone gag, they had NO idea that what was wrong was actually wrong. The entire right side of the audio went out about 5 minutes in. So I'm losing my mind trying to find a loose cable (which is what it was) and missin' ALL my lines. Well, I was SAYING them - but of course from BEHIND the TVS...LOL. It was a mess. I got REALLY close to stopping the show for the first time in my professional 4tvs career. Had I not gotten the audio back up by G's song, I would've had to. But luckily I did, and everything went well.
In fact for the first time every, I had a focused spotlight. Absolutely amazing. Perfect for 4tvs. I'm gonna see if I can't make a rectangled cover for it so I have some movement. My head was goin' out of the light a lot since Adam isn't perfectly stable. Either way - it allowed all the other lights to be off and create a GREAT illusion of 5 lit things and ZERO else onstage. Perfection.
The reaction was very cool as well. Yeah, there were only 5 people there - but these are performers, actors, singers...they know what it took to do that show. In fact they probably didn't, but they KNEW they didn't. They totally appreciated the whole thing for all the levels and that was awesome. In fact, I'm gonna be closing our very first show on May 8th. It's actually gonna be quite a night. There'll be a band opening the show, then the hour improv show and then the Trinitrons to close it. Not sure there's ever been a more worthy way to spend your $10. Should be a great night.
Unfortunately, it seems as though my goatee won't be able to make it. Amazingly, less than a week later, the bald patch is so big it's PAINFULLY obvious. Now if it stays this size, I COULD use black eyeliner and be cool. But that worked for about 2 weeks back in October 1997. I have a feeling history will repeat and that simply will not last. I'm more than pissed about this. I'm pissed that I did this to my body...AGAIN. It's just amazing. I need to remember this in the future. I'mmiserable with out my goatee - I seriously would rather be BALD, so I'll try to take things a little more lightly in the future.
And really, it's already happened. The past month has been simply trying to find my smile. Trying to find my pride. And believe me, as much as I want to finsih "Adam & The Journey" and start performing it, I cannot deal with it right now. Watching the bathtub video simply rips me in half. To see yourself in that moment - GOD I can't believe I had that taped... just gut wrenching - I will finish it however, and it will be Fall 2002 when it premieres. Guaranteed. For now, I get to finally help pay the bills, I get to perform here and there, I get to learn the ins and outs of DVD production - and I get to feel good about myself. I never thought that was important before - and man...it really is. I always ignored my needs for the betterment of the "project" or goal. I could sacrifice, I'd be fine...but not this time man. It's time to accept that between death and failure, failure's OK. LOL. I was so close people... ugh. Moving on.
Jeeeez...only 2 more entries until 200. TWO, HUNDRED. Have I really been doing this for that long? Nearly 2 1/2 years? This is my 3rd April out here? Wow. I wan't even at CD101 that long. In fact, I'm 3 months away from equalling my time at WTVN out here! DAAAAAMN. Not time to reminisce. I'll save that for when I get somewhere. I couldn't be further from ANYWHERE right now - LOL.
Oh and one more happy note: J-Dog is now officially not my cat anymore. He doesn't know me from Jack or Doug or Stan. (made up names here)... It's actually pretty sad. If I'm eating by the pool he'll come try and take it - but he doesn't purr when I pet him anymore. He only cares about being "free" and eating. As well, so many people come and pet him that I'm just another person. Even when I say "J-Dog" in the whisper I've yelled for his entire 6 years is like anyone whispering anything. It sucks. It was bound to happen. He hasn't been "mine" since August 3rd, 2001 - so I guess it's not too suprising. But it sure does suck. I sometimes go and sit with him in his little pad really late at night. When I pet him, it's just amazing that this was my cat in March of 1996. I was with Burgundie, I wasn't married yet, Jordan only had 3 rings... I can't believe those were the 3 things I chose to show the time difference in my life. LOL. Anyway, no 4tvs. Not even a CD yet! Wow. And this cat doesn't even know me. It's like an alzheimers cat. The body's the same but that's it. As well it's obvious he's not well. He's been eating trash for so long he ain't gonna make it much longer. You pick him up and he immediately hisses. His friggin' tail is broken. Sad. Ahh well. At least he's got a cool life now. Man I miss being 20. I had accomplished so much. My future was so bright. I was the young dude kicking ALL sortsa ASS. The sky was the limit, and now I've seen some of my limits. I know, a lot of you are beating your head against the monitor because I'm talking like this at 26 - but you gotta know that as fast as I was "suceeding", now pretty much sucks. LOL. And here I go with more depressing shit - damnit Adam, stop ranting, post this - and go make more cases.
So a show on the 8th, more DVD problems to solve, and more BASTARD MiniCases to make. What a strange, strange Journey this is.
Yeah, and if you think having to look at MiniCases in between every paragraph is a bit annoying...then I've done my job. You now FEEEEEL the Journey. LOL.
original video file
APRIL 2002