Dear GOD. I simply
have not had a moment to spare since my show
Wednesday. And yet again the culprit are these GODDAMN
MiniCases. I'm sending out 3-4 packages a day.
MiniCasers now span 25 states and 4 countries. It's
getting a little overwhelming really. I'm trying to
find ways to streamiline the process, but whew - it
just keeps on comin'. My initial estimate of a couple
hundred MiniCasers the end of August (when Mario comes
out) is starting to look more like 1000 in which case
- I'm in some serious shit. It's one thing shipppin'
200 cases...it's an entirely DIFFERENT thing shippin'
1000. But if there's a demand, there is a way to meet
that demand profitably. I will find that
The good thing
though, is it certainly ain't keepin' me from my
"career". Improv rehearsals have just been a blast and
the show I did for them last Wednesday was very
fun. Unfortunately - it took EVERY SECOND of my
waking LIFE to get that thing running on DVD.
MiniCases, DVD, MiniCases, DVD. It's been all I think
about. I also had to practice Live Adam, which was
fun. I absolutely love the new open. SO anyway I set
up the TVs and unfortunately had forgotten my DVD
remote and my clothes, so I couldn't CHANGE as Adam,
but it didn't really matter. The DVD was able to play
just fine, and everything went off without a
...of course until
the show started. Now luckily, because I "got"
the other members of the group with the cell phone
gag, they had NO idea that what was wrong was
actually wrong. The entire right side of the audio
went out about 5 minutes in. So I'm losing my mind
trying to find a loose cable (which is what it was)
and missin' ALL my lines. Well, I was
SAYING them - but of course from BEHIND the
TVS...LOL. It was a mess. I got REALLY close to
stopping the show for the first time in my
professional 4tvs career. Had I not gotten the
audio back up by G's song, I would've had to. But
luckily I did, and everything went well.
fact for the first time every, I had
Absolutely amazing. Perfect for 4tvs. I'm
gonna see if I can't make a rectangled
cover for it so I have some movement. My
head was goin' out of the light a lot
since Adam isn't perfectly stable. Either
way - it allowed all the other lights to
be off and create a GREAT illusion of
5 lit things and ZERO else onstage.
The reaction was
very cool as well. Yeah, there were only 5 people
there - but these are performers, actors,
singers...they know what it took to do that show. In
fact they probably didn't, but they KNEW they didn't.
They totally appreciated the whole thing for all the
levels and that was awesome. In fact, I'm gonna be
closing our very first show on May 8th. It's actually
gonna be quite a night. There'll be a band opening the
show, then the hour improv show and then the
Trinitrons to close it. Not sure there's ever been a
more worthy way to spend your $10. Should be a great
seems as though my goatee won't be able to make it.
Amazingly, less than a week later, the bald patch is
so big it's PAINFULLY obvious. Now if it stays
this size, I COULD use black eyeliner and be cool. But
that worked for about 2 weeks back in October 1997.
I have a feeling history will repeat and that
simply will not last. I'm more than pissed about this.
I'm pissed that I did this to my body...AGAIN. It's
just amazing. I need to remember this in the future.
I'mmiserable with out my goatee - I seriously would
rather be BALD, so I'll try to take things a little
more lightly in the future.
And really, it's
already happened. The past month has been simply
trying to find my smile. Trying to find my pride. And
believe me, as much as I want to finsih "Adam &
The Journey" and start performing it, I cannot deal
with it right now. Watching the bathtub video simply
rips me in half. To see yourself in that moment - GOD
I can't believe I had that taped... just gut wrenching
- I will finish it however, and it will be Fall
2002 when it premieres. Guaranteed. For now, I get to
finally help pay the bills, I get to perform here and
there, I get to learn the ins and outs of DVD
production - and I get to feel good about myself. I
never thought that was important before - and man...it
really is. I always ignored my needs for the
betterment of the "project" or goal. I could
sacrifice, I'd be fine...but not this time man. It's
time to accept that between death and failure,
failure's OK. LOL. I was so close people... ugh.
more entries until 200. TWO, HUNDRED. Have I really
been doing this for that long? Nearly 2 1/2 years?
This is my 3rd April out here? Wow. I wan't even at
CD101 that long. In fact, I'm 3 months away from
equalling my time at WTVN out here! DAAAAAMN. Not
time to reminisce. I'll save that for when I get
somewhere. I couldn't be further from ANYWHERE right
now - LOL.
Oh and one more
happy note: J-Dog is now officially not my cat
anymore. He doesn't know me from Jack or Doug or Stan.
(made up names here)... It's actually pretty sad. If
I'm eating by the pool he'll come try and take it -
but he doesn't purr when I pet him anymore. He only
cares about being "free" and eating. As well, so many
people come and pet him that I'm just another person.
Even when I say "J-Dog" in the whisper I've
yelled for his entire 6 years is like anyone
whispering anything. It sucks. It was bound to happen.
He hasn't been "mine" since August 3rd, 2001 - so
I guess it's not too suprising. But it sure does
suck. I sometimes go and sit with him in his little
pad really late at night. When I pet him, it's just
amazing that this was my cat in March of 1996.
I was with Burgundie, I wasn't married yet,
Jordan only had 3 rings... I can't believe those were
the 3 things I chose to show the time difference in my
life. LOL. Anyway, no 4tvs. Not even a CD yet! Wow.
And this cat doesn't even know me. It's like an
alzheimers cat. The body's the same but that's it. As
well it's obvious he's not well. He's been eating
trash for so long he ain't gonna make it much longer.
You pick him up and he immediately hisses. His
friggin' tail is broken. Sad. Ahh well. At least he's
got a cool life now. Man I miss being 20. I had
accomplished so much. My future was so bright. I was
the young dude kicking ALL sortsa ASS. The sky
was the limit, and now I've seen some of my limits. I
know, a lot of you are beating your head against the
monitor because I'm talking like this at 26 - but you
gotta know that as fast as I was "suceeding", now
pretty much sucks. LOL. And here I go with more
depressing shit - damnit Adam, stop ranting, post this
- and go make more cases.
So a show on the
8th, more DVD problems to solve, and more BASTARD
MiniCases to make. What a strange, strange Journey
Yeah, and if you
think having to look at MiniCases in between every
paragraph is a bit annoying...then I've done my job.
You now FEEEEEL the Journey. LOL.