Hey there, Hi
there, Ho there. Adam's in a good mood. Amazing ain't
it. You'll find out why at the bottom of the entry -
but FIRST. You gotta read the little debate I've been
having with my uncle. He responded to the last entry,
and brought up some good points. So take a
listen:
All this over
$10? Well, I usually don't give my opinion but here
ya go...
I would've
shook his hand and worked on pulling an apology out
of him later. LA or not, no one likes
confrontations or enemies. You could've shook his
hand and he would've thought you were OK and you
would continue to think he's an asshole. What did
you think he would do after he stuck his hand out
and you didn't respond? That was the wrong place
and time to resolve this. You know what kind of an
ass he is! His response was very predictable. I do
it all the time working at bars. Shaking hands is
an ice breaker...he may have, eventually,
apologized. Even if he didn't, the issue wouldn't
have escalated and you just steer clear of
him...forever! This way I wouldn't have had to read
a 1000 words on the issue! Lol! It's not always
good to "Stand Your Ground" when it concerns
someone that DOESN'T MATTER. Pride swallowing is a
good trait when used at the right time. I'm the
"King" when it comes to dealing with dick heads.
Say anything to shut them the fuck up!
2nd, I'm sure
your not the only one who has seen this guy in
prime form. I'm sure even his friends, who he
ragged on you about, took it with a grain of salt.
I'm sure everyone that knows him, knows him as an
asshole! You've spent way too much thought on this
my friend. You have too many other IMPORTANT things
to think about.
If this
continues to bother you...Fix it! Next time you see
him, talk to him. Apologize (for the hand shake) if
you have to. BIG FUCKING DEAL! It's not worth
having enemies in your complex.
I hope my
opinion doesn't offend you. That's just what I
would've done.
I first just asked
him to call me, but then decided: "What fun would that
be!?!?!" This is a good debate, and it'd be fun to
read. My reply:
Before I even
hit all your points - lemme ask you this. What if I
were...uhm...Whoopi Goldberg (she's on TV right
now). But basically - someone who has "made it".
What would Whoopi's reaction be to this guy? If she
were treated in the same way, insults and then a
slammed door, how would she react? She
wouldn't...she'd simply never speak to the person
again.
I of course
have NOT made it. I have NO POWER, just talent and
potential. Does this mean, I should "take it now" -
and then when I do make it, change? Then I should
have self-respect? If that's the case...I should
never have said a harsh word to Gary. Right? I
should've acted like everything was fine. I
should've thanked him for all he had done... Right?
Had I done that, I'd be playing The Comedy Store
right now. But because I confronted him with ALL
the shit he was talking...he took it and ran.
Spread shit about me, even called The Comedy Store
up AS ME, to make me look bad. He went balls out to
make me regret it. Obviously he has a bit more
twisted passion then most people, but it WAS a
result of my actions - no matter how justified they
were. So do I regret my actions?
No. Of course
not. Yes, I'm horribly disappointed that he reacted
the way he did. Especially considering that a month
later he came back to me and apologized and said he
was wrong. But I don't regret breaking off ties
with him. His actions since the day I did prove I
made the right decision. Realize that after he
aplogized I learned even MORE shit he pulled,
further cementing the fact that this is a person to
stay away from.
Using your
opinions I should never have asked for compensation
for my damaged DVD. I should never have been pissed
that the guy had it for 3 months, ignored my phone
calls (10 or so in 3 months), and then gave me the
DVDs back with water damage to one. I especially
should've let it go when he made such a big deal
about it and brought up all the past favors he had
done for me (although whether or not what he did
were "favors" is HIGHLY in question). But I
should've dropped it right?
HELL. NO.
Listen, I understand swallowing your pride - but if
you don't stand your ground early it only gets
worse. Was this guy someone I wanted to work with
in the future? NO. He was PSYCHO. The man screamed
at me for close to 30 minutes telling me why I
shouldn't burn the bridge to him. How he was gonna
show me, how he could only be friends with me if I
really really apologized for all this. Dude was
nuts. It was quite clear that this was not someone
to be associated with. Same with Gary. And most
CERTAINLY with "soiree-thrower".
Realize as well
that none of these people were "friends". In the
way that Marshall, his fiancee Mary, Paddy, Greg
(no order there) are friends to Jess and I. If any
of them did what "soiree-thrower" did I would try
and talk with 'em. See if they were just having a
bad day. But here it comes: "THEY WOULD NEVER DO
WHAT HE DID". They are a BIT more respectful. And
if they did - they would certainly expect me to be
pissed. I'm really rehashing the entry
now...
Your thoughts
have really fucked with my day thank-you-very-much.
LOL. And the only conclusion I've been able to come
to - is that ONLY because I'm NOTHING right now is
this EVEN a question. And because of that, I'm sure
I'm on the right track. I need to make DAMN SURE
that the people I have around me, and consider my
firends, are NOT like the 3 people I described.
That's fucking suicide. Because when I do "make
it"...where am I?
And finally -
please realize that you don't know the WHOLE story.
As I eluded to before, this guy was anything but
stable. And would always have to apologize for his
actions the next day. His body language, his
everything - SCREAMS "woah". Numerous people have
shared the same sentiments about his "mental
stability"...which I know begs the question: "WHY
DIDN'T YOU JUST SHAKE HIS HAND!!!" LOLOLOL!!! Yes
of course, had I known the dude was gonna fuckin'
lose his mind, I'd have shook his hand - but of
course I had NO WAY of knowing he would react so
violently. If I were in his shoes, I may have
stormed off - but I never in a million years would
think he'd go to the other side of the room and
scream obscenities at me in front of everyone.
LOL.
But anyway -
reply back...this'll make a good "beating a dead
horse" entry...
And then today's
email:
The point I was
trying to make is, and please forgive me for even
expressing my opinion, the party was not the right
time and place to confront an asshole. Yes, I think
if Whoopie, in your position, would've shook his
hand and moved on. He means nothing to her. Her
time is more valuable spent elsewhere then trying
to prove herself to an asshole. Self-respect is the
fact that you don't let a unstable, nobody, asshole
concern you. That's respectable. You're above that.
He's not worth your thought or time.
I had a guy say
"Fuck You Asshole" to me as he was leaving the bar
one night because he thought I said something
inappropriate to his girlfriend (comment about her
pants, quite innocent). Found out later he was
yelling threats to me before that, while I was
shooting pool, which I didn't hear. A few weeks
later he shook my hand with no apology. If I
would've not shook his hand I knew some stupid
incident may occur. I avoided that and all is
forgotten, on his part. I still think he is an
asshole and I do not talk to him.
As far as Gary
and the DVD guy, that's different. You confronted
them without an audience. Of course the guy
should've paid you for the DVD! Once he threw a fit
about it, he marked himself as an asshole and he's
now blown off by Adam...end of story. But if you
ran into this guy in public (party) just act like a
distant acquaintance, say hi and move on. You're
above that. Gary was business. Fuck yea you needed
to do something about that.
I guess what
I'm trying to say is; You're on a much higher level
than these jerks that's crossed your path. You
don't need to prove yourself to these idiots!
"Soiree-Thrower" dose not concern you one bit.
Matter of fact, acting like it doesn't bother you
shows he means NOTHING to you. Acting like it
bothered you makes it seems like he
matters.
Just my
thoughts...
And finally a
little point-by-point from me:
The point I was
trying to make is, and please forgive me for even
expressing my opinion, the party was not the right
time and place to confront an asshole.
-holy shit!
What's up your ass! Do I seem mad at you for
expressing your opinion? I like debating, thus I'm
spending all this time talking and LEARNING from
other people's perspectives! I like it! As far as
confronting him - I DIDN'T. I did all I could to
avoid him. He came up to me. I truly thought he'd
apologize to me for blowing up, so I began to talk.
He didn't and when he said: "you're not MAD are
you?" I said: "You came into my apartment, insulted
me, and then slammed my door - I'm not real happy"
That really was it. There weren't a lot of people
around us when he came up to me - but he made a
point to go to the other side of the room and
continue screaming. I could NEVER have forseen that
outcome, but he's the one who looked like an
idiot.
Yes, I think if
Whoopie, in your position, would've shook his hand
and moved on. He means nothing to her. Her time is
more valuable spent elsewhere then trying to prove
herself to an asshole. Self-respect is the fact
that you don't let a unstable, nobody, asshole
concern you. That's respectable. You're above that.
He's not worth your thought or time.
-How was I
trying to prove myself to him?!?! And again,
picture me going into Whoopi's office - insulting
her and slamming the door - then 3 DAYS LATER going
up to her at a party and trying to shake her hand.
She'd laugh in my face and walk away. Which
incidentally happened between me and this guy just
yesterday. I was petting J-Dog and he saw me and
sneered almost growled, like he was disgusted. I
looked away and then couldn't help but laugh. I
looked back at him and he made some more noises and
then I could've sworn he SPIT at me. I turned to
him and said: "Did you just SPIT on me?" I was
laughing at this point - and he just made some
noise and kept walking. And it just got funnier and
funnier to me. But anyway - back to your
letter...
I had a guy say
"Fuck You Asshole" to me as he was leaving the bar
one night because he thought I said something
inappropriate to his girlfriend (comment about her
pants, quite innocent). Found out later he was
yelling threats to me before that, while I was
shooting pool, which I didn't hear. A few weeks
later he shook my hand with no apology. If I
would've not shook his hand I knew some stupid
incident may occur. I avoided that and all is
forgotten, on his part. I still think he is an
asshole and I do not talk to him.
-In your case,
in a bar, where you do BUSINESS - that's a whole
different ball of wax. Also, add in this: Him
saying: "You're not MAD at me are you?". That
changes the entire dynamic of the situation. 'Cause
now to move on you not only have to act like
everything's cool - you gotta lie. You gotta look
at him and say: "No way man! Everything's cool!"
Also, let me note that when his hand was offered,
my reaction was: "I don't feel cool about this
man...". It wasn't: "I'm not shaking your hand". It
was a VERY VERY PASSIVE as if to say: "listen man,
we have some issues that need to be resolved here".
As I stated in the first letter, I had hung out
with him at least 5 or 6 times. We went running
together. He often times asked me for advice about
getting into acting (it's the guy who doesn't have
any headshots and all he wants to do is act - I
think I mentioned that in some entry and how much
that pissed me off. He has pictures ready, but
doesn't REALLY like them. I kept saying: "JUST DO
IT!!!" Start the ball rolling!! The "Acting" road
is so straight-forward, and he's making excuses) -
but ANYWAY, he wasn't just some guy. Jess and I had
Christmas dinner with he and his fiancee. So we had
a bit of a foundation for a relationship
here.
As far as Gary
and the DVD guy, that's different. You confronted
them without an audience. Of course the guy
should've paid you for the DVD! Once he threw a fit
about it, he marked himself as an asshole and he's
now blown off by Adam...end of story. But if you
ran into this guy in public (party) just act like a
distant acquaintance, say hi and move on. You're
above that. Gary was business. Fuck yea you needed
to do something about that.
-Very
interesting scenerio here. Glad you made me think
of it before it does happen. If I see DVD man at a
party, first of all - we'll both stay away from
each other. He thinks he's too good to talk to me
and vice-versa - LOL. But if he did come up to me
and try to act like nothing happened, I would
indeed cut the conversation very short and walk
away. What happened between us was VERY OBVIOUSLY a
break. He told me over and over: "I WALK OUT THAT
DOOR MAN - THAT'S IT. YOU'RE MAKING THE BIGGEST
MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE KONTRAS" He told me OVER and
OVER - man I had forgotten what a DICK he was. LOL.
Also, I think when you think "LA Party" you see a
scene from Swingers. In which case I would
completely "make nice" and move on. Even with
"soiree thrower"! This just wasn't one of those
scenes, and as I said where we were there was no
one around...he made a point to get to where there
WERE people and continue screaming.
I guess what
I'm trying to say is; You're on a much higher level
than these jerks that's crossed your path. You
don't need to prove yourself to these idiots!
"Soiree-Thrower" dose not concern you one bit.
Matter of fact, acting like it doesn't bother you
shows he means NOTHING to you. Acting like it
bothered you makes it seems like he
matters.
Just my
thoughts...
-And finally -
I VALUE your thoughts! I want you guys second
guessing my every damn move. LOL. But as I said
before, I've never tried to "prove" anything to
this guy. I did NOT confront him at the party, and
it's the reason I didn't confront him when he
slammed the door originally! He wasn't worth it! I
smiled and said: "You slammed that door for good
man". And the most recent laughing incident kinda
pushes that point home. The reason for all of the
WRITING about it has more to do with a pattern I'm
running into on a WHOLE - not the individual events
involved.
And as I said
before - had I ANY CLUE he'd react how he did ( I
truly, truly, truly didn't think he was THAT
unstable) - of COURSE I'd have shook the hand, and
dealt with it later.
So there ya go.
I find all of this horribly interesting,
I hope some of you do as well. These are the
lessons they "skip over" in biographies and such
because they seem insignificant. They aren't. At least
not yet...If these people show up later in "The
Journey" then they aren't. We just don't know now. But
the lesson is the same no matter what the outcome. And
the great thing about all of this is, you don't have
to agree with me to learn a lesson. You may read all
of this and think: "Dude should've made up with him,
and kept a contact..." Which very well may be the
right move to "make it" in this town. We'll find
out. But at least now you get to experience it on some
level sitting at home on the internet.
Moving ON. LOL.
I got to audition for my first pilot yesterday!
Get this, it's a 1/2 hour pilot for an ABC sitcom and
I'm up for a 17 year old. LOL. They gave the actors
who's headshots they liked "sides" (tiny scenes), and
had them tape the scenes themsleves. So guess what I
got to do for the first time in TEN YEARS. I got
to do my hair the way I had it when I was a
sophomre in highschool. You ready for some
embarrassing shit?
Ahh that hair cut.
The WIND TUNNEL effect. Unfortunately I had
to put too much goddamn make up on to cover up my
beard, so I look like I'm made of CLAY. As well, ten
years does make a difference. Though it may not be
much on a still frame, it's very noticeable when my
face is actually MOVING. Tiny crows feet, wrinkles on
the forehead... I look like a guy in his late 20's
trying to play a teenager. And yeah, I know they were
all THIRTY on 90210, but this part was for an
very awkward, very "YOUNG" 17. Written much more
like a 14 year old in my mind. Something just didn't
feel right. But it sure was fun. Paddy and Jess played
the other parts, and we had lotsa laughs.
Unfortunately
I found about ONE place where
I could show any
sort of
personality
and even that was something I WROTE
IN. They give all these directions in the
sides of being awkward, not over-the-top,
real, and heartwarming...and then said:
"And of course everything has to be funny"
- LOL. The only way I could think of
"awkward" being funny would be if some hot
chick was walking by. Unfortunately all my
awkwardness was shown by a
BULLY yelling at me - and I just
didn't see too many opportunites to be
funny.
So that's cool. I
don't expect to hear anything back about this, but it
sure is nice to have gotten past step one. Hopefully
there's more during this pilot season. It certainly
makes me feel like I'm doing something. By the way the
clip is cut off so quickly just to keep some anonymity
in it. I don't want it to be known what it is that I'm
trying out for - so any identifying characteristics
are gone - as well, the "song" is not even in the
script.
So is this the
positive thing I talked about needing in the last
entry? NO. LOL. This is a nice diversion. Now actually
GETTING a pilot would CERTAINLY be that positive thing
- but I guaran-goddamn-tee you it won't be for this.
But keep your fingers crossed
nonetheless...
