ENTRY #167

 

 

What follows is the very first "Locked" entry in the history of "The Journey". At the time I didn't want Gary to know that I knew what he had done... On February 9th, 2002 after rereading it, I decided to unlock the entry. It explained a small part of why I was so depressed, and really, there's no reason to have it locked unless there was a way to properly solve the problem. However there isn't. The only thing I can do, is tell my side, and hope somewhere down the road, people will take the time to read it. Unfortunately, people believe what they want to believe - what sounds the best...and will most likely never take the time to "research" the truth. Well to those who have gotten this far, here's what happened:

 

  

4:51 AM, Saturday, January 12th, 2002:

 

Exactly two months ago today, I had the night of my life. I was on top of the world. I rocked The Comedy Store. That night was one of my proudest moments. The flyer for that night was framed and hung in Charlotte's office, my office, and my father's office. Just looking at it fills me with pride, and it's easily one of my dearest possessions. I not only made an impression on the audience, but everyone involved with the venue was glowing. The woman who booked me, Belinda, even got onstage and announced to the crowd that I'd be playing the main room from this point on. To this point, the pinnacle of my career...

 

Amazingly, Gary outdid me. He got me. He was able to absolutely ruin one of the best memories I've ever had. Get this:

 

The reason I'm not playing The Comedy Store again, and why Charlotte isn't having any of her calls returned is because that night back in November, I apparently told everyone I belonged on the main stage THEN, that this was all just a formality. I was rude and arrogant to every single employee there telling them this. I even personally called back TWICE since then, asking why I hadn't been booked on the main stage already. That is how every person involved with The Comedy Store now feels about me. And this is why, I have not, and will not, be asked to come back again.

 

Got all that?

 

So where does Gary fit into all of this? Well, after my show back in November - Gary started talkin' shit to our apartment manager about how I didn't thank him for all he did for me. As I mentioned in the "Incomprehensible" entry back then, his interference almost did-in the show. Because of him now draggin my name down to mutual friends, I felt the need to completely break ties with him. He showed his true colors in so many ways, and I simply cannot surround myself with people of his class. If you don't take things like this seriously in this city, you're doomed. I decided I had to break off ties with him, and quickly. I wrote a very succinct letter listing the several lies he perpetrated in my face and how because of this, I could no longer be associated with him. I ended by saying I wished him luck, and hoped he could see what he had done and learn from it.

 

A month later (the night of my XMAS show), he comes to my door and actually apologizes. He says he reread the letter and saw that I was right. No shit people...this really happened. He said he didn't know what he was doing at the time, and was following Belinda's lead. He said "I told you she was the devil Adam, she's completely two faced". Passing the buck of course, but I was so flabbergasted that he would admit fault I just sat in silence. He basically wanted to clear the air, and I said that I could be cordial and we could put this behind us. Then of course comes today (technically yesterday), and Charlotte's call to The Comedy Store.

 

Charlotte got ahold of Mitzi, and she told Charlotte to contact Duncan, the artist relations person at The Comedy Store. This struck her as odd because he was never involved with any of this. He then proceeded to tell her what I described above. Now obviously, every single word of it is untrue. I talked to none of the other employees that night except Belinda and someone apparently called up The Comedy Store pretending to be me demanding to know why I wasn't booked on the main stage already. Gary being a regular now at The Comedy Store (did I mention that? Jesus I didn't....hmmm lemme finish this thought) obviously lead to the "arrogant" rumors as I was well aware that he'd use whatever power he thought he had to besmirch my name. Now the regular thing. I just went back over all the entries and realized I missed quite a crucial part of the whole Gary story! This whole time you've thought Gary was the manager at The Comedy Store...uhm well he ceased doing that in late October. He says it's because Mitzi thought he was such a good comic that she didn't want him to manage her store anymore. I wonder if that's so since Belinda is also a comic, yet she books Monday nights....hmmm. I just don't know. Anyway - at the time, this was thought of as a big STEP UP for Gary. Yeah, he lost a paycheck, but he was now an unpaid regular at The Comedy Store. I was quite happy for him, and somehow never mentioned it at ALL within the entries. But now you know why he's still there all the time and can spread such lovely bullshit 'bout me round town. Of course what really gets me though are the phone calls. That is a form of malice so outstanding, It would be comedic if not so horrific. Charlotte and I racked our brains on any other explanation for this but Duncan was quite specific that I had called. Charlotte even said right then: "I know he didn't call", and was met with: "Performers are known to do that you know..."

 

Whew. This is overwhelming really. I simply need to take deep breaths, allow my true thoughts and feelings to come out, and again give insight to how the "journey" transforms me. Every single event that happens now justmolds my character SOO MUCH. It's really amazing. So what do I REALLY feel?

 

I am completely heartbroken. To know that's the true feeling of that establishment completely breaks my heart. To know that someone called AS ME, and acted so rudely and so arrogantly - so much so as to keep me from ever playing there again, is devastating. To know that this has been the prevailing feeling for 2 months and only NOW do we know of this, is an utter embarassment. Worst of all it taints the happy memories so much. The reaction at THAT ESTABLISHMENT was what made the night so special. To kick ass there at that moment, showed me, Charlotte, my father and everyone - that this was all gonna happen. To know now that all the happiness stopped the second I got offstage because I apparently told everyone I should've bene playing the main room, and that I deserved this and that -just breaks my heart. Kills me.

 

My number one fear realized: arrogance. The one thing I try so hard to balance. I'm obviously confident of my abilities - but I DO NOT throw that in other people's faces. I know how good I am with people who congratulate me after shows. I know that I SINCERELY care about them. That night I was so thankful for everyone's response and never mentioned anything more. The only mention of the main stage was made by Belinda who GOT ON STAGE and announced it. I know all of this...

 

...but it doesn't change the situation. It doesn't change that the message received (through lies and out and out malicious fake phone calls) is one of an arrogant asshole who felt he deserved the world. So much show that it bled into ALL OF THE BOOKERS, for ALL OF THE NIGHTS.

 

Now that this has sunk in a bit, add this to the mix - and "celebrity" becomes just a bit easier to understand.

 

I can't call Duncan. I can't make a simple phonecall to this guy and explain that there was a miscommunication. Any of you in this situation would resolve it quickly. You'd talk to the people involved, get to the bottom of it and move on. I have to have others speak for me. I have to let my representation do everything, and I can't even be there. I get to sit in front of my computer or TV and wait. Wait and wait. Try and "not think about it". So not only can't I take action when it comes to booking shows or setting up meetings, which I have been dealing with the past few months - I can't salvage my reputation. I can't scream at the mountaintop that I'm innocent of all of this. I can't seek some sort've retribution from the person or persons that did this to me. I have to sit. I have to wait. I have to hope Charlotte says everything I want to say in the letter to Mitzi. I have to hope the slanderous events that happened against me are brought to some sort of justice. I have to DO...NOTHING.

 

And what is justice in all of this? Can there be? I want some sort've retribution really. I want everyone's true reputation represented here. If Gary has this great standing as a regular at The Comedy Club, yet my reputation is turned to shit BECAUSE OF HIM...I want those roles reversed! He's the one who should be known as the asshole...not me. I'm the one who stayed at the club until 1 AM simply to not be rude to any of the fellow performers, although I was told I could take my equipment down earlier. I'm the one who goes OUT OF MY WAY to be loyal to others, and be polite and sincere - Gary does the exact opposite. If true justice were really to prevail here it would entail clearing my name, and certainly "clearing up" Gary's. Of course how this could ever happen is beyond me. I guess a formal letter to Mitzi and Duncan is the only way to start. Man, everything being dealt with by second and third parties. So painful. No matter what happens, the 12th of November is forever tarnished. Yes, I can still be happy about how the audience liked me, but the people that really matter - the people that make up The Comedy Store were so offended by how rude and arrogant I was, I won't be invited back. And that's what I get for telling someone, I didn't want to be associated with him anymore. He decided to absolutely drown me all because I was honest with him.

 

Well to that end I say this: You got one memory dude. You fucked me once. You took what was truly the best night of my career so far, and fucked with my memory SOOOOO much, that it will never hold the same meaning...

 

...but you didn't take the time to look at who you were hurting. This is someone who has more drive, and more determination than anyone you will ever meet. And now my ambition is aimed at you! Don't you see that? In order to rectify this situation, you've made me HAVE to show everyone who you truly are! What the hell were you thinking? I wished you luck and was completely open and honest with you...and you do this? And to Charlotte? OH MY GOD DUDE. Could you be a worse judge of character? Does she really seem like the type of woman you should fuck with? Yet someone else with an unyielding drive and ambition to get the job done, and again - because of your actions - that involves bringing out the TRUTH in this situation. That truth is gonna kill you.

 

Yet another year in LA starts with "Talkin' Shit", but this time it's MUCH more serious. And it will most certainly be dealt with accordingly.