12:30 AM, Friday, October 7th, 2005:
 

So I'm actually online writing this entry from inside the infamous Seinfeld restaurant across the street from Chad's apartment. The picture was taken earlier today as a way to end what unintentionally turned out to be quite a bummer day. It seems the WTC, the Dakota and the bench where I proposed to Burg - aren't good things to see in one day.

 
Click that, it's friggin' huge...
 
Nothin' horribly unexpected at the World Trade Center site. I was there when the buildings were standing - and you didn't really grasp the breadth of their size as you do when they're gone. What's strange about it now however is...you don't see destruction - you see a normal construction site. If you didn't know any different - it just looks like a construction site. Has the big panels on the outside fence showing the history of the building, which at a normal construction site would be the stages of building. Of course on closer inspection you see the names of the dead and the timeline of the day. But it's really eerie that it doesn't stand out unless you had been there before. It looks like any construction site in the country.
 

On closer inspection however, your heart just broke. There were drawings by the children of those that died and it really hit you. "Thank you for everything dad you are my hero, I will love you forever." Gulp. The more you let your emotions take over, the creepier everything gets. Then you realize that you're walking around a huge graveyard and all the feelings of that day come back. Man, do you remember how bad that week was? It was so completely overwhelming living through that. My children will never understand that day. Christ I hope they never do. Gulp x2.

 
 
Click on the pics below... 
That cross is cool as hell, errrr heaven.
But I just couldn't stop focusing on the difference between what my eyes were seeing, and what I was feeling. It was absolutely a Mind Game. My reaction was completely in my head as my mind raced around to moments from that day that touched me. Then I sat back and looked at the whole scene and there's just absolutely nothing visually tragic about it. It looks like a very organized construction site. And every businessman and woman that passed, never gave it a second thought...
 
I really hope they make an overhwelming memorial when it's all said and done. It should really over-power you.
One of the 9/11 firetrucks and the site.
Underground viewing area
Great shot of the flag and the towers...
 
25 Years ago...
 
72nd and Central Park West. The first time I saw it I literally got chills. I had seen pictures of the Dakota when I was younger and it was kinda burned in my brain. Of course for those non-Beatle fans, not only did John Lennon live here - but he was shot in that archway. In the eeriest murder of a celebrity I've ever known of - earlier in the day he gave a long taped interview (which you can download), he had a photoshoot with Yoko (the one where he's naked on the bed kissing her), he signed an autograph for Mark David Chapman, finished up "Walking on Thin Ice" at Geffen with Yoko and as he was returning back through that archway, Mark was still there. He took out a gun and shot him 3 times in the back. Then sat down and literally started reading "Catcher in the Rye". What, the, fuck. Even creepier?
 

That's him. There's a goddamn picture of it. And on the right is the autograph he gave him. It is so surreal that it almost seems made up. And listening to that last interview... It's heart-wrenching. He was so hopeful for the future. I still get angry when I talk about it.

 
But here is yet another example of "Mind Games". The emotion is completely in my head. People were passin' me the whole wonderin' what the hell I was taking a picture of. Doorman on the phone. It's completely in my head to have any emotion standing there or taking that in. I'm such an emotion junkie - I love how symbolism can just mess with you...
 
Now that's a nice picture Adam...
 

Unless of course you were one of the unlucky 65 people that actually saw the "Lennon" musical put together with the support of Yoko. Apparently completely skipping over that band he was in during the 60s and focusing poorly on his solo work - it was intended to run until his birthday this Sunday and couldn't make it more than 6 weeks. Ouch. I actually wanted to see how bad it was...

 
Which brings us to the final "Mind Game" of the day:
 
Man, something about that angle looks all weird to me. Maybe it's just late...
 
11 years ago I proposed to Burgundie on this bench. Eleven. Years. Ago. 1994. And hitting 30 juuuuust hit me. Wow. I surprised her on our 1 year anniversary of "going together" by flying her to NYC for the day and literally blowing her mind. Looking back it's almost unfair to propose to someone like this. How on earth would you say no to this view:
 
Again, click on that (or right-click to save it if your browser resizes it) - it's huuuuuuge.
 
Now, she didn't say yes to a view - I know she really loved me. In fact I called her from the bench today just to say: "Hey, guess what's really surreal?". I felt old. It was literally an asian sweat shop worker since I had been to that bench and I felt every minute of it. (similie of the year people, similie of the year). And again, it's alllllllll in my head. It's a bench on a beautiful fall day in the park. Yet it stirred up feelings in me I hadn't felt in a decade. This was when I realized just how depressing the day was...but really, only because it triggered my own feelings. In reality - it was a gorgeous early fall day that I wasted by being all "Deep-in-thought". There was however one thing that brought a smile to my face while walking home. I found a copy of the post on the ground...
 
 
I love New York.
 
Adam
 
PS - after a day of riding the subway all day this story breaks...
 
 
...my complexion and bulky bag are going to have a BALL tomorrow. (sigh) C'est La vie...
 
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