Adam Kontras.com - Life Song..





al 11:46 AM, Thursday, September 15th, 2005: As I sit down to write about my 40th song entry for 2005 the question is very obvious: "What the hell Adam?" Obviously something is up. The videos and songs have bumped up in quality considerably this year. I really can't tell you why. I guess it's because this is now my art. The site itself is now what I consider "I do." You know? "What do you do Adam?" "4tvs.com". It's no longer The Trinitrons, 4tvs - it's life. It's video, it's music...it's the adventure of life. It's telling this story but being forced to LIVE it to tell it. I book a trip to DC on a whim and a big reason is this site. I love how my whimsical choices shape all of these pages month to month. I control all these little pictures and videos and songs and titles... It's fun. It's turned into this ENORMOUS novel and anything I do effects it. It's really surreal. My canvas is absolutely gigantic: it's the world. Is this narcissistic? I think it is. I think this is the definition of narcissism. I mean who's reading this really? You know, no matter what - it's someone who cares. Be it my friends, family, future children - or just fans of what I'm trying to do. I don't do this just for me...it is for them... ...I guess I should explain myself more. When I am dead (as dead I well may be - sorry, Danny Boy reference) I want to live on. We all do. When my children are adults and they really wonder what I was like before they were born, there isn't even a question. It's all here. That, and I'm a fan of the site. You know, that's really it. I like going through the months and looking at the pics and the random videos. I feel like it's someone else at times. Look at this foolio trying to do a karate kid kick at the beach in 2000. LOL. And when I don't like how it's going... I change it. And that month gets a whole different feel. Blah blah blah - I have rambled about this a million times. The shift to music however is obvious. Smiley Girl was the last straw. There's no turning back there. Then of course yesterday I pick this up: What a perfect title. Chaos & Creation. I'm so jealous. It should've been mine man. LOL. Oh and somehow they made his name read the same way upside down and downside up. How in hell did they do that. LOL. That's brilliant. Now the thing about McCartney that inspres me is that in the past ten years that he has written such incredible shit because of one reason: he is not trying to make the top ten. He's not being "poppy", he's being an artist. He's 63 years old and embraces it. He will sing and write literally until the day he drops dead. He writes about his life, about things that inspire him and continues well past "having to". It is literally how I've written this year. What I wouldn't give for the time, money and help to give the songs of this year the proper treatment so the "mainstream" could appreciate them. I know half of you hear some of these "songs" and all you hear are unprofessional clunking for a videocamera. I wish you could hear it in my head man. I must admit though, so many of you "get it" and I'm so grateful for that. You get how special it is capturing moments in song like only a website can provide. How you don't do it 500 times because of a wrong note or chord...you get it OUT THERE immediately so you can move on to the next one. I am so proud of all that this year holds. So the album. Perfect. After the 3rd listen-through I was completely in love. It is approaching Flaming Pie as my favorite solo work he's done. I am so inspired by his ability to create. I want to send this album to Billy Joel and write "Be inspired all over again". I cannot believe Billy is completely OK with not having an album since 1993. I don't mean to discount the instrumental classical album, hell Paul did that too, but when you're a singer/songwriter of Billy's caliber I can't fathom how you drop that ball so easily. Athletes have to quit, artists don't. Ever. We get to be productive forever. And speaking of that... ...so I was driving the 405 North while listening to the CD and I had a vision of what I see when I wake up. I got home and immediately told Cassi to get in the bed, I wanted to make a movie. Heh. She paused, then I explained I just wanted to recreate the morning routine. Heh. She paused again - and I assured her this was legit. LOL. So I taped an idea of my day (which ends up with me going back to bed to take a nap of course) and then went to find a song on McCartney's new album t sync up with it. Amazingly I found this hidden track that was instrumental. Well shit, there you go. So I sat for about an hour trying to sync the video up to the song's musical cues. Speeding it up and slowing it down in the appropriate place. Then I got the idea of trying to write a song that corresponds with everything seen in the video while it's happening. Throw all that into a blender, and you get this. See, I love this shit. I love creating in really challenging almost oppressive situations. Full freedom can drive you crazy, but if you're forced to use only ____ or ____ - you end up with true creation. When there's no "need" it's so hard to create. But when you NEED to come up with a line that corresponds with the fish on my shower curtain while sitting on the toilet... that's art. LOL. Now promise me this. You will watch this once before you read the lyrics. They're supposed to be tough to understand, although the compression for the 'net makes it even worse. The 2nd time you catch all this shit you never heard before. And finally, once you read the lyrics along with it... it's a whole 'nother level. I DONT WANT TO GET UP, BUT I DONT WANT TO STAY HERE, SHE COULD CHANGE MY MIND, BUT SHE'S TOO SLEEPY TO CARE, LET'S SEE WHO'S IN THE MIRROR TODAY... WIPE THAT SLEEP OUT YOUR EYES, GO SIT DOWN OVER THERE, WATCH THOSE FISHIES SWIM BY, FISHY FISHIES EVERYWHERE, I BELIEVE I'M DONE WITH THIS RIDE, GOT TO DO IT UP JUST RIGHT... MUST DO SOMETHING NEW, LAUNDRY STILL TO DO, ROXY IS THAT YOU? WHOS MY GOOD GIRL BOO? THERE'S MY ROOM, IN MY ROOM, SHIZZLE WHO'S MY DAWG? IN A SLEEPY FOG, I SHOULD CHECK MY BLOG, EMAIL TO UNCLOG, MUST GET BACK TO HER SOUNDTRACK WHO, WORKS OUTBACK THROUGH NONSENSE CRACK BLUE, WHERE'S THAT COKE TOO, DIET COKE NEW, 2 D-COKES MAKE-DO, 4 BUCK JOKES THEN WHEW, MISS 2000, MISS NEW HOUSE IN, 2003 SPOUSE AND NOW IT HOUSES, SOMEONE ELSE IN DIFFERENT BLOUSES, TVS FUGGIN HUGE LIKE BRICK SHIT HOUSE WHEN, NOTHING'S ON YOU FLIP ABOUT, BUT WITH THIS TV THERE'S NEVER A DOUBT, IT SHOWS YOU ALL IN SEC OH-WOW, CHRIST SHE'S RIGHT THERE WHO LET HER OUT, I KID I KID AINT NO NEED TO POUT, WHO KNOWS WHAT LIES AHEAD FADE-OUT Man where else can you do shit like this? Computers man... I mean this wasn't possible on so many levels 10 years ago. And the final level... just being able to share it with the world instantly. I've said it a zillion times. I'm the happiest "artist" alive. All I really want are more viewers/listeners/supporters. And that's really a want like I want a Ferrari. I'll live without it. You reading right now have kept me goin' this far. ...besides this is all for my kids right? Hey! You're too young to read this! I told you 15 and I meant it!!! Turn off the computer! :-) Adam ENTRY EEDBACK - VIDEO FEEDBACK

11:46 AM, Thursday, September 15th, 2005: As I sit down to write about my 40th song entry for 2005 the question is very obvious: "What the hell Adam?" Obviously something is up. The videos and songs have bumped up in quality considerably this year. I really can't tell you why. I guess it's because this is now my art. The site itself is now what I consider "I do." You know? "What do you do Adam?" "4tvs.com". It's no longer The Trinitrons, 4tvs - it's life. It's video, it's music...it's the adventure of life. It's telling this story but being forced to LIVE it to tell it. I book a trip to DC on a whim and a big reason is this site. I love how my whimsical choices shape all of these pages month to month. I control all these little pictures and videos and songs and titles... It's fun. It's turned into this ENORMOUS novel and anything I do effects it. It's really surreal. My canvas is absolutely gigantic: it's the world. Is this narcissistic? I think it is. I think this is the definition of narcissism. I mean who's reading this really? You know, no matter what - it's someone who cares. Be it my friends, family, future children - or just fans of what I'm trying to do. I don't do this just for me...it is for them... ...I guess I should explain myself more. When I am dead (as dead I well may be - sorry, Danny Boy reference) I want to live on. We all do. When my children are adults and they really wonder what I was like before they were born, there isn't even a question. It's all here. That, and I'm a fan of the site. You know, that's really it. I like going through the months and looking at the pics and the random videos. I feel like it's someone else at times. Look at this foolio trying to do a karate kid kick at the beach in 2000. LOL. And when I don't like how it's going... I change it. And that month gets a whole different feel. Blah blah blah - I have rambled about this a million times. The shift to music however is obvious. Smiley Girl was the last straw. There's no turning back there. Then of course yesterday I pick this up: What a perfect title. Chaos & Creation. I'm so jealous. It should've been mine man. LOL. Oh and somehow they made his name read the same way upside down and downside up. How in hell did they do that. LOL. That's brilliant. Now the thing about McCartney that inspres me is that in the past ten years that he has written such incredible shit because of one reason: he is not trying to make the top ten. He's not being "poppy", he's being an artist. He's 63 years old and embraces it. He will sing and write literally until the day he drops dead. He writes about his life, about things that inspire him and continues well past "having to". It is literally how I've written this year. What I wouldn't give for the time, money and help to give the songs of this year the proper treatment so the "mainstream" could appreciate them. I know half of you hear some of these "songs" and all you hear are unprofessional clunking for a videocamera. I wish you could hear it in my head man. I must admit though, so many of you "get it" and I'm so grateful for that. You get how special it is capturing moments in song like only a website can provide. How you don't do it 500 times because of a wrong note or chord...you get it OUT THERE immediately so you can move on to the next one. I am so proud of all that this year holds. So the album. Perfect. After the 3rd listen-through I was completely in love. It is approaching Flaming Pie as my favorite solo work he's done. I am so inspired by his ability to create. I want to send this album to Billy Joel and write "Be inspired all over again". I cannot believe Billy is completely OK with not having an album since 1993. I don't mean to discount the instrumental classical album, hell Paul did that too, but when you're a singer/songwriter of Billy's caliber I can't fathom how you drop that ball so easily. Athletes have to quit, artists don't. Ever. We get to be productive forever. And speaking of that... ...so I was driving the 405 North while listening to the CD and I had a vision of what I see when I wake up. I got home and immediately told Cassi to get in the bed, I wanted to make a movie. Heh. She paused, then I explained I just wanted to recreate the morning routine. Heh. She paused again - and I assured her this was legit. LOL. So I taped an idea of my day (which ends up with me going back to bed to take a nap of course) and then went to find a song on McCartney's new album t sync up with it. Amazingly I found this hidden track that was instrumental. Well shit, there you go. So I sat for about an hour trying to sync the video up to the song's musical cues. Speeding it up and slowing it down in the appropriate place. Then I got the idea of trying to write a song that corresponds with everything seen in the video while it's happening. Throw all that into a blender, and you get this. See, I love this shit. I love creating in really challenging almost oppressive situations. Full freedom can drive you crazy, but if you're forced to use only ____ or ____ - you end up with true creation. When there's no "need" it's so hard to create. But when you NEED to come up with a line that corresponds with the fish on my shower curtain while sitting on the toilet... that's art. LOL. Now promise me this. You will watch this once before you read the lyrics. They're supposed to be tough to understand, although the compression for the 'net makes it even worse. The 2nd time you catch all this shit you never heard before. And finally, once you read the lyrics along with it... it's a whole 'nother level. I DONT WANT TO GET UP, BUT I DONT WANT TO STAY HERE, SHE COULD CHANGE MY MIND, BUT SHE'S TOO SLEEPY TO CARE, LET'S SEE WHO'S IN THE MIRROR TODAY... WIPE THAT SLEEP OUT YOUR EYES, GO SIT DOWN OVER THERE, WATCH THOSE FISHIES SWIM BY, FISHY FISHIES EVERYWHERE, I BELIEVE I'M DONE WITH THIS RIDE, GOT TO DO IT UP JUST RIGHT... MUST DO SOMETHING NEW, LAUNDRY STILL TO DO, ROXY IS THAT YOU? WHOS MY GOOD GIRL BOO? THERE'S MY ROOM, IN MY ROOM, SHIZZLE WHO'S MY DAWG? IN A SLEEPY FOG, I SHOULD CHECK MY BLOG, EMAIL TO UNCLOG, MUST GET BACK TO HER SOUNDTRACK WHO, WORKS OUTBACK THROUGH NONSENSE CRACK BLUE, WHERE'S THAT COKE TOO, DIET COKE NEW, 2 D-COKES MAKE-DO, 4 BUCK JOKES THEN WHEW, MISS 2000, MISS NEW HOUSE IN, 2003 SPOUSE AND NOW IT HOUSES, SOMEONE ELSE IN DIFFERENT BLOUSES, TVS FUGGIN HUGE LIKE BRICK SHIT HOUSE WHEN, NOTHING'S ON YOU FLIP ABOUT, BUT WITH THIS TV THERE'S NEVER A DOUBT, IT SHOWS YOU ALL IN SEC OH-WOW, CHRIST SHE'S RIGHT THERE WHO LET HER OUT, I KID I KID AINT NO NEED TO POUT, WHO KNOWS WHAT LIES AHEAD FADE-OUT Man where else can you do shit like this? Computers man... I mean this wasn't possible on so many levels 10 years ago. And the final level... just being able to share it with the world instantly. I've said it a zillion times. I'm the happiest "artist" alive. All I really want are more viewers/listeners/supporters. And that's really a want like I want a Ferrari. I'll live without it. You reading right now have kept me goin' this far. ...besides this is all for my kids right? Hey! You're too young to read this! I told you 15 and I meant it!!! Turn off the computer! :-) Adam ENTRY EEDBACK - VIDEO FEEDBACK