al
11:42 AM, Sunday, September 11th, 2005:
 
...my song anyway. Don't get all geared up for The Boyles just yet. ;-)
 
After making "Leaderless State" a week ago I sent the video and mp3 to a bunch of stations on Air America as fast as possible as I felt the song was only "current" while there was a lack of response. Oddly enough a couple days ago the host and producer of "Mother Jones Radio" gave me a call and said they wanted to use it for the end of their show this morning. Well Giddy-up. Air America is gaining quite a bit of steam this year across the country and I'll certainly be sending them anything else I do politically. They're also linking my site and video on their site. Can't hurt.
 
 
I do feel the need to say to anyone new to the site jumping on that I find both extremes of the political scale to be somewhat hurtful to the struggle to find the "truth" in all that's going on. I appreciate what Air America is doing, and what Mother Jones has done for years, but it all seems so agenda-driven the "truth" gets blurred. Right now however - I believe the "truth" just happens to be the exact-fucking-opposite of what the Bush administration is saying, so the far left media rings truer than ever before. LOL. I have never had a label other than "libertarian" (my favorite none of the above choice), and my core beliefs are actually quite conservative. Responsibility, smaller government, the whole "rugged individualism" aspect that used to be the core of most conservative beliefs. Now however, that's all a thing of the past as our government has twisted everything so far out of proportion there's no other label for them other than "wrong". The choices this administration has made have literally endangered our lives. Not only are we less safe we literally taunt the rest of the fuggin' world while we put our defenses down. (sigh).
 
In a surreal moment last week, Marty and I finally spoke to each other about this. Marty is 100% pro-Bush and has been as long as I've known him. As men tend to do, we just don't talk about it. I consider him my best friend and there's never been a reason to go down any other paths that would piss us off. In the nearly 9 years I've known him we've never been in a fight. The only time I was pissed at him was when he came out here in late 2000, then gave up after 6 weeks. But you can't be really pissed at someone who readily admits: "Dude I was scared, wanted to come home." And that was really the end of it.
 
However, this month is obviously unlike any of the other 68 months in the Journey. It was unavoidable that the subject would be brought up - and I just came out and asked him how he felt. He posed it in such a way I was literally befuddled with compassion. That's a strange thing to be befuddled with... He said:  "Here's what I'm hearing...". It wasn't argumentative, it wasn't emotional. We're all slaves to the information so: "Here's what I'm hearing..." You can't help but counter that with:  "OK man, here's what I'm hearing...." And what unfolded was one of the nicest, most peaceful discussions I've ever had on a political subject in a long time. Amazing considering there has never been a subject that has hit me more emotionally than this. No grand compromises were conceived, it really comes down to if you're pro-bush in September of 2005, nothing is going to change your mind. When your mouthpieces on the radio say unequivacolly that it was a local bundle and not FEMA, you're going to be hard pressed to change your stance. The bottom line here was, we had a peaceful discussion because we just shared the two sides and we were both INFURIATED at how many days passed while those people didn't get help. ANd guys, I'm completely fair about this:  I think the governor could have done more...but the point is - when it's obvious this person is OVER there head - hell even POLITICALLY, it makes sense to go in there and get the job done right. Everything I'm hearing says she declared the State of Emergency the Saturday before so Bush had every right to do that. JUST as they did in Florida the year previous. The theories as to why FLORIDA might have gotten preferrential treatment are just beyond my wee little brain to comprehend. (siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh).
 
Anyway, it was certainly a bit eerie listening to a mono signal play an Adam Kontras song after all these years. LOL. They stream it live so I was able to get a nice recording of the end of the show and put together a little video for it. The host and producer were really great: "Thanks so much! You do great work, very powerful! Keep it up and stay in touch." So they'll certainly be a first stop for anything new I do that's political. Always nice to have positive feedback. Curious to see what will come of the links to the video version of "Leaderless State".
 
Now, in other news - I'm off work for a little over a month. Whew. I have been "checked-out" for quite some time and I finally just went in and told them I had to refocus and come back. Luckily when I first got there I was kicking much butt and they know what I can do. I just have to be in a certain frame of mind for this job. It's 100% money-driven. 100%. I however, am not money driven. Not even a tiny percent. When I had to be last year and early this year - I thrived like no one. I had no other choice but to. Now? I have no immediate needs. I'm not responsible for a wife or a child... and making $20,000 a month just doesn't mean anything to me. I see the value in concentrating for 3-4 months and making a fortune, but I am simply unable to do that right now. This job is literally a competition between others and they straight up tell you:  "____ made $30,000 last month, ____ made $25,000 - what can youuuuuuuuuuuuuu do?!?!?!" LOL. I can protest in DC about the injustice of our own actions against the rest of the world. How much is THAAAAAAAAAT worth? LOL. I believe this phase will pass (as will some of my savings) and come late October I will need to get back into that mode. For now I am worthless as far as selling loans is concerned. It's a means to an end...and it's an end I already have. My heart couldn't be further away...
 
Which of course brings me to that part of this journey. I am without a doubt, smitten. The lack of pressure on my relationship with Cassi is completely intoxicating. I'm sure it's much like what Jess is feeling right now with her boyfriend. Comfort. It is such an insane difference compared to what we've both been through in the past year, you can't help but let out a sigh of relief and enjoy it. To laugh, smile, hug, kiss, and RELAAAAAAAAAAAX. Oh the pain will come...LOL. But for right now all people involved are breathing and moving on. It's healthy, it's needed and it's completely BORING to the readers. Thank, fucking, GOD.
 
I'll be leaving for DC in about a week and a half. Rest assured this will be covered much like the Japan trip and I will do my damndest to get arrested with great police brutatlity videos for the site!
 
;-)
 
Adam