10:26 PM, Monday, August 1st, 2005:
Seriously... THAT was awesome. What a perfect venue. I believe I"m going to feel the need to thank Sara from Pet Orphan's Fund for the next 20 entries. Again, how cool was that?
So I get down there to sign-up at 7 PM, and I find out that you're not guaranteed a spot at this open-mic night. Everyone there puts their name in a bucket and they pull it out randomly. The lady said that if you're within the first 37 you'll make it as they cut-off at 10:30 PM - otherwise you're out-of-luck. I got #11. Whew. The next 30 minutes was spent calling everyone and telling them when I'd be on and calling Cassi and help talk her through videotaping the computer screen at home so I could save the moment. Once I play a night where I actually do more than 1 song, I can buy a DVD of the performance which I'll gladly do to support this venue, but they don't archive open-mic night so it was a one-shot deal.
When it came to my turn to perform I sat down and realized I hadn't tested a thing - so I just had to hope for the best. Unfortunately, there's no monitor for piano players - it's all set-up for guitar acts. (sigh). That and the piano was pretty loud so the first few lines I was searchin' all over for a way to hear. What's worse is that for the recording...they don't mic the piano at all - it's simply the bleed from my vocal mic. (sigh x2). So the end result is unfortunately not that great. But hey, you can all watch it here mixed good. ;-)
And yes, I was thinking of Jess every second and was completely emotional. This song has really been "renewed" as we're right back to that phase of our relationship. The anger, the pain, the feeling of being ignored, replaced...trying to be a good friend but finally saying - I can't fuckin' do this. I was going to get into that a bit before I played it but they really stressed being quick because they hate not letting people play.
Of course I couldn't help what happened afterwards. I swear to you I did not PLANT that guy at the end! LOL. Ends up it's MIKE from Pet Orphan's Fund who I did remember seeing from other Trinitron shows. What an awesome guy. He just straight up took over and let people know what he thought I was just speechless. You can't really see my expression but I literally sat down at the piano looking at him thinking "WOW.". And then they read Moose's email and Eric's right before! And the host is from Columbus Ohio?!?! WOW x 10000000. I was literally embarrassed at the end and apologized for taking up people's time. I mean the song is only 3 minutes and the video is 7 minutes. I just hate pissin' off other performers man. There were times with the Trinitrons where you could just FEEL the anger as they had 8 minutes and I had 30. LOL. But thanks again to everyone. I needed tonight more than you know.
Once I jumped off it was literally 45 minutes of receiving and dialing calls. I just love technology. To allow everyone to watch that... and look that good? "The 500K DSL feed was so clear it looked like I was watching you on TV... " Eric wrote me afterwards. No shit man, I am so impressed with how well this is put together.
So now what? Well the host came out after me and I asked how I could play 2 or 3 songs one night and she said it's pretty difficult. She said most performers are well known and they then spotlight other people they bring along. So you need to come and get to know those people and try to work your way in. Whew. I'll try, but it looks like it'll be Monday nights for awhile. It'll be a fun way to play some new tunes. I really want to do Strong Enough to Hide - pissy songs RULE live.
And of course...all I could think of after was it's time for the 4tvs Journey show. Seriously - it's time. To recap, a show where I go through the past 6 years of the site, doing parts of the trinitrons, doing the songs and just telling the story with the 4tvs. I feel like it's something I have to do for the people following this. Man, I couldn't be more serious about this: you guys are only reason I am still here. My heart right now is so far removed from my career. I literally don't care if I make it anymore. Not even a little. It isn't worth it to me. It doesn't mean anywhere near what it meant to me when I came out here and I'm sick about losing the love of my life over it. The only reason I am going through the motions is because I TOO am a reader of this site, and you can't end it like this now. The Journey show needs to happen...not to become famous - but because it has the potential of being an extraordinary show. It feels almost like a gift to people who have supported this. Because I literally would be back in Ohio right now. Fuck it - I'm leaving tomorrow!!!!!!!
Heh - it's a planned trip. Family reunion. Expect a couple updates in Columbus and then a pretty hefty pre-production phase of this show. I know I said that a year ago...but - he who am I apologizing to. You've all read what the past year has been like. I got NO apologies. What an amazing period in my life. Horrendous and depressing, but a good character study for sure. WHy I feel the need to be someone's guinea pig is beyond me - but I've done it this long.
So again, thank you Sara, thank you Mike, thank you Eric, thank you Moose, thank you Sean (friend from work that came down) and your friend...shit can't remember her name (you were hot though - lol), thank you Kiki (the host), and thank you KULAK'S WOODSHED!!! It's the beginning of a great relationship.
AND THANK YOU AUGUST!!! If ever I've needed a drama break for at least a month...
PS - I have to say an extra special thank you to my roommate Cassi who was put in quite a tough position. I can be a bit of a perfectionist to work with and she had to be responsible for videotaping that webcast off my computer screen knowing that it was only one shot and if she pressed a wrong button...whew. I always hate putting that much pressure on someone when it comes to something with my career (all apologies to Jess on the infamous "Abbey Road" set from the 4tvs days - lol). I swear I'm not really a prick about it, but I just think people know how much attention to detail I usually have and want to meet that standard. Blah blah blah - bottom line is - she pulled off the taping beautifully and I was able to crop it off and adjust a few things and it looks incredible. Thanks a million Cass... ;-)