I must preface this entire entry by saying I never have, and barring the night when I'm 75, widowed, and just want to freak the girl out by doing my Lester voice, I never will pay for sex. I'm not opposed to it in any ethical way, it just defeats the whole purpose of why I want to have sex. I'm sure I speak for most guys when I say: we're just pretty excited that you actually want to do half the things we can think of...so having to pay someone for that, kinda kills the excitement...

 

...and I'm also arrogant enough to think they should pay ME for it. HOO-AHHH. Ba-dum-bum. Heh...

So the allure of one Kabuki-cho, a section of Shinjuku which is part of Tokyo...christ which is part of Japan. Strange isn't it. Anyway - Kabuki-cho is the red light district of Tokyo, but much different than you could imagine. If you've been to Tijuana, you know of the red light district as people literally begging you to have sex with their senioritas. In Kabuki-cho it is as bright and colorful as Disneyland, yet very quiet and reserved on the outside. Of course any fellow "net surfers" realize that inside it's anything but reserved. Ugh, I'll leave the details for those who want to find them on their own.

Wall to wall in Kabuki-cho are these rooms with pictures everywhere. Usually a little curtain is down, but as you can see this one was left up. It's basically an information booth. It's reminiscent of a travel agency where you'd point to a destination and they helped you out. Hell it isn't reminiscent that's exactly what it is. You point to your, uhm, destination and they help you out.

 

Now I say this like I knew all along, but the truth of the matter is, I walked in thinking it was just another crazy ass magazine shop and I was literally ran after by the kabuki-pimp that said: "NO, JAPANESE ONLY". ?!?!?! I kinda giggled and left. As I continued to walk I realized what it was. I knew there were brothels and what not in this area, but I just didn't think it would look like an information center. Imagine that, something bizarre in Tokyo.

As I continued down the street, now seeing DOZENS of these rooms, I was slightly irked. Why on earth would they want to keep Americans out of a friggin' BROTHEL? Wouldn't they want to take advantage of stupid tourists and take all my money? I remembered an episode of South Park where the japanese constantly flattered these American executives by saying "You have such large American Penis" and I though to myself... could that be? Could they honestly not want us to, uhm, stretch out their women? Were the women scared of us? Were the pimps protecting their property? LOL. The thought was laughable...

...and absolutely, 100% correct. I came home and did a little research and that's exactly what it is. I'm not even joking. And they're SERIOUS about it. They are protecting their property. I read similar stories online where they explained the whole process and reasoning behind it.

At one point during the day I saw the door open with no one guarding it and I jumped in. Seriously not a thing to see, just pictures of pretty girls and numbers. I saw a guy sitting behind a desk and I just stopped him before he could say it. "Japanese only right?", he shook his head yes.

I have to admit, it seriously PISSED ME OFF. Something I had NO intention of doing just irked the hell out of me. My SIZE is a NEGATIVE now? You have to laugh. It's hilarious though - the more I ignored it, the more obvious the "rooms" became:

 

 

Nothing to see here. Nothing to see. LOL.

 

I soon got over my anger at the INJUSTICE, and just decided to hit a bar and found this cool place called the oldies bar. It was perfect, these Japanese bands trying to play 50s and 60s music. Ha. I start to go down the stairs and I get stopped.

 

"Do you speak Japanese?"

 

"No"

 

He crossed his hands as if to say "no entry". WHAT. THE. FUCK. Is my dick too big to listen to your stupid LOCK & LOLL?!?!?!?? BWAHAHAHAHA that's a funny damn line Kontras. You should have a website.

 

I just was completely disgusted. I just want to GIVE YOU MY MONEY. What am I missing? South Park must have pissed them off something fierce. Heh. I guess you need to have a Japanese contact to get you into all these places, being completely alone probably hurt me. Who knows. I was so irked. I grabbed some sushi and headed back home. Saw this place making Crepes with ice cream and fruit. Looked pretty cool. I selected:

 

Not bad, but not worth $5. What struck me was what the lady before me got. Take a gander:

 

 

Tuna. Cream cheese...and PIZZA SAUCE. Of course. What a lovely combination for dessert. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with these people. I mean, I LIKE SUSHI, so it's not like I'm not trying...but what is this? Tuna, Cream Cheese and PIZZA SAUCE? I mean where's the PEANUT BUTTER? How could they forget the PEANUT BUTTER!?!?!? (sigh)

Truly frustrated with my night I headed home. Amazingly, one block from my hotel I spot a Yamaha C5 Baby Grand in a lobby with no one around. Ho-LEE shit. I'm SOOOOOOO doing a journey song on the spot. The place should be closed, but the doors come right open.

 

I notice they're closing down in the adjacent cafe, so I thought I'd be polite and ask them if I could play.

 

"No."

 

I swear to you I almost took off my pants.

 

"COME ON BEYOTCH. LET'S ANTE UP SHALL WE?!?!  BRING IT ON LITTLE MAN."

 

(sigh)

 

In case you wondered, here's the NO guy:

 

 

I will play that damn piano. I swear to you. I will be back in the area at the end of the week, and you best believe I'm doing a GUERILLA STYLE Journey song asap.

 

The day wasn't totally lost though. I found this crazy ass corner CD store that had old Beatles bootlegs. Found the entire Get Back Sessions. 8 CDs of everything that went down at Terrible Twickenham. I couldn't believe how cheap: $36 for 8 CDs! And yet again the Beatles inspired me for this entry's video as they have my entire life.

 

So I leave you with the biggest Journey video to date (4.7 MB) and one of the coolest ways I've ever thrown a song together. It's funny, I was in the shittiest mood after my NO NIGHT and then I came home and started on the song and was euphoric by the end because it turned out so cool. You can't tell me I wasn't born to create. It is the only thing that can lift me so quickly. Crazy.

 

Jesus it's 1:37 AM!! I gotta sleep. And to those of you who felt I was shortchanging the price of a soul in the last entry, I am going to Kyoto tomorrow. I don't know what the internet situation will be in the "old" Tokyo, but rest assured there will be entries and videos, it just may be a day or two before they're uploaded.

 

Goodbye KABUKI-CHO. Enjoy your tiny hos with tiny holes untouched by the big american penis.

 

(sigh) I need Kyoto just for a CLEANSE.

 

Adam