- 11:24 PM, Monday,
May 16th 2005:
- I must
preface this entire entry by saying
I never have, and barring the night
when I'm 75, widowed, and just want to
freak the girl out by doing my Lester
voice, I never will pay for sex.
I'm not opposed to it in any ethical way,
it just defeats the whole purpose of why
I want to have sex. I'm sure
I speak for most guys when
I say: we're just pretty excited that
you actually want to do half the
things we can think of...so having to pay
someone for that, kinda kills the
I'm also arrogant enough to think they
should pay ME for it. HOO-AHHH.
allure of one Kabuki-cho, a section of
Shinjuku which is part of Tokyo...christ
which is part of Japan. Strange isn't it.
Anyway - Kabuki-cho is the red light district
of Tokyo, but much different than you could
imagine. If you've been to Tijuana, you know
of the red light district as people literally
begging you to have sex with their
senioritas. In Kabuki-cho it is as bright and
colorful as Disneyland, yet very quiet and
reserved on the outside. Of course any fellow
"net surfers" realize that inside it's
anything but reserved. Ugh, I'll leave the
details for those who want to find them on
to wall in Kabuki-cho are these rooms with
pictures everywhere. Usually a little
curtain is down, but as you can see this
one was left up. It's basically an
information booth. It's reminiscent of a
travel agency where you'd point to a
destination and they helped you out. Hell
it isn't reminiscent that's exactly what
it is. You point to your, uhm, destination
and they help you out.
I say this like I knew all
along, but the truth of the matter is,
I walked in thinking it was just
another crazy ass magazine shop and
I was literally ran after by the
kabuki-pimp that said: "NO,
JAPANESE ONLY". ?!?!?! I kinda
giggled and left. As I continued to
walk I realized what it was. I knew there
were brothels and what not in this area,
but I just didn't think it would look like
an information center. Imagine that,
something bizarre in Tokyo.
- As I
continued down the street, now seeing
DOZENS of these rooms, I was
slightly irked. Why on earth would they
want to keep Americans out of a friggin'
BROTHEL? Wouldn't they want to take
advantage of stupid tourists and take all
my money? I remembered an episode of
South Park where the japanese constantly
flattered these American executives by
saying "You have such large American
Penis" and I though to myself...
could that be? Could they honestly not
want us to, uhm, stretch out their women?
Were the women scared of us? Were the
pimps protecting their property? LOL. The
thought was laughable...
absolutely, 100% correct. I came home and did
a little research and that's exactly what it
is. I'm not even joking. And they're SERIOUS
about it. They are protecting their property.
I read similar stories online where they
explained the whole process and reasoning
point during the day I saw the door open
with no one guarding it and I jumped in.
Seriously not a thing to see, just pictures
of pretty girls and numbers. I saw a guy
sitting behind a desk and I just stopped
him before he could say it. "Japanese only
right?", he shook his head yes.
- I have
to admit, it seriously
PISSED ME OFF. Something
I had NO intention of doing just
irked the hell out of me. My SIZE is a
NEGATIVE now? You have to laugh. It's
hilarious though - the more I ignored
it, the more obvious the
to see here. Nothing to see. LOL.
- I soon
got over my anger at the INJUSTICE, and
just decided to hit a bar and found this
cool place called the oldies bar. It was
perfect, these Japanese bands trying to
play 50s and 60s music. Ha. I start
to go down the stairs and I get
you speak Japanese?"
crossed his hands as if to say "no entry".
WHAT. THE. FUCK. Is my dick too big to
listen to your stupid
LOCK & LOLL?!?!?!??
BWAHAHAHAHA that's a funny damn line
Kontras. You should have a
- I just
was completely disgusted. I just want
to GIVE YOU MY MONEY. What
am I missing? South Park must have
pissed them off something fierce. Heh.
I guess you need to have a Japanese
contact to get you into all these places,
being completely alone probably hurt me.
Who knows. I was so irked.
I grabbed some sushi and headed back
home. Saw this place making Crepes with
ice cream and fruit. Looked pretty cool.
bad, but not worth $5. What struck me was
what the lady before me got. Take a
Cream cheese...and PIZZA SAUCE. Of
course. What a lovely combination for
dessert. Seriously, what the hell is wrong
with these people. I mean,
I LIKE SUSHI, so it's not like
I'm not trying...but what is this? Tuna,
Cream Cheese and PIZZA SAUCE?
I mean where's the
PEANUT BUTTER? How could they forget
the PEANUT BUTTER!?!?!?
frustrated with my night I headed
home. Amazingly, one block from my hotel
I spot a Yamaha C5 Baby Grand in a
lobby with no one around. Ho-LEE shit. I'm
SOOOOOOO doing a journey song on the spot.
The place should be closed, but the doors
come right open.
notice they're closing down in the
adjacent cafe, so I thought I'd be
polite and ask them if I could
- I swear
to you I almost took off my
- "COME ON BEYOTCH.
LET'S ANTE UP SHALL WE?!?!
BRING IT ON LITTLE MAN."
case you wondered, here's the
- I will
play that damn piano. I swear to you.
I will be back in the area at the end
of the week, and you best believe I'm
doing a GUERILLA STYLE Journey song
day wasn't totally lost though.
I found this crazy ass corner CD
store that had old Beatles bootlegs. Found
the entire Get Back Sessions. 8 CDs of
everything that went down at Terrible
Twickenham. I couldn't believe how
cheap: $36 for 8 CDs! And yet again the
Beatles inspired me for this entry's video
as they have my entire life.
I leave you with the biggest Journey
to date (4.7 MB) and one of the coolest
ways I've ever thrown a song together.
It's funny, I was in the shittiest
mood after my NO NIGHT and then
I came home and started on the song
and was euphoric by the end because it
turned out so cool. You can't tell me
I wasn't born to create. It is the
only thing that can lift me so quickly.
it's 1:37 AM!! I gotta sleep. And to those
of you who felt I was shortchanging
the price of a soul in the last entry,
I am going to Kyoto tomorrow. I don't
know what the internet situation will be
in the "old" Tokyo, but rest assured there
will be entries and videos, it just may be
a day or two before they're
KABUKI-CHO. Enjoy your tiny hos with tiny
holes untouched by the big american
I need Kyoto just for a