Well my curiosity got the better of me and although dead tired I had to venture out to see Tokyo at night. I knew I'd have another week's worth of chances, but I couldn't resist. I really wonder if I'll ever grow tired of walking with my mouth wide open. No movie or picture can explain just how foreign this place is. Everyone is on the wrong side of the road, everyone is talking in a language that can't possibly be real - the signs are absolutely a child's scribblings playing a big joke on everyone - the food (except sushi of course) is fodder for Fear Factor, not actual food. It's unbelieveable. For example, look below:

I understand it's in a different language, but what the FUCK are they selling? THis is a big billboard near my hotel. I have yet to understand it. Is that food? Uhm...medicine? Uhm - I just have no friggin' clue. That's what I mean by foreign. And when they do have things in English (not even the engrish mistakes mind you), they seem to screw that up:

There was a meeting. A rather big meeting too. A group of people decided this is what they would call their drink. That's not some "lost in translation" jobbie...no no - that's the brand name. How does this happen? Who would want to drink that? Well, obviously I had to buy this just to know what the sweat of a pocari tastes like...

 

...Gatorade. And then of course it made a bit more sense. Sports drink, sweating, this is what you drink when you sweat. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII get it.

 

Uhm, no - no I don't. This has to be a joke. I would like to meet the one American that was in the aforementioned meeting with the Japanese execs who was able to keep himself from smiling and laughing the entire time. He's a genius...and so is the company that printed this puppy:

Now come ON. How on earth does this happen? I'm telling you, there's a generation of kids with tattoos with japanese symbols that really say Labia or some shit. Seriously, I looked at this and thought for a second that I was somehow the twisted one thinking bearded clam was dirty and then I realized - NO damnit this is absolutely an inside American joke printed on an unsuspecting Sushi joint in Tokyo. And I'm all for it. LOL - That's what they get for putting MAYONAISE on Salmon Sushi. What. The. Fuck. ----------------->

 

You know that picture along with the bearded clam should be X-rated. Oh and CHUM salmon. Yech. Can't they just please make up a different name? This is FOOD we're trying to eat here...

The night ended with me as the SOLE patron in some bar trying valiantly to relive the late 50s with music, decor and absolutely no one there. Basically because anyone who enjoyed such a venue is now dead. The kids were elsewhere.

 

I woke up the next morning and proceeded to videophone all morning with Jess. How wild is that. We're both dealing with some highly stressful shit on her end and it was so nice to forget it for a bit and just act like we were both on vacation. Yes, this trip is about being alone and "finding myself" and all that stupid horseshit, but it was how I wanted to spend my morning and I couldn't sleep anyway.

 

You know I really don't know what's gonna happen with that situation. I thought I knew, but now it's just chaos. We need time and space, but on the other hand that's exactly what we don't need. It's funny, I know hostile eyes are reading this and I can't help but want to let them know the anguish they are causing - but some people just aren't worth addressing. I say that like I mean it. LOL. I'm so goddamn oversensitive that a BUM could say something negative and I'd be hurt.

Cue cool old Japanese bum. I guess American bums are pretty cool too if you really look at them. This guy intrigued the hell out of me. Besides being 4 feet tall, he was just so methodical with everything he did. Every movement, was calculated and slow. He saw my camera and then just sloooooowly turned the other way to continue to people watch.

 

I don't get the head thingee though. I saw other guys with this on. I guess it's a towel headband? Maybe this is just bum fashion like 4 pair of suit jackets in the states. Just goofy. Oh and speaking of friggin' goofy:

They walk on the wrong side too. (Sigh) I will never get this right. It is such a gut instinct to walk on the right side of the sidewalk that I am CONSTANTLY running into people. I'll remember it when I've been outside for a bit, but if I step out of a shop - I just can't get it right. I'm sure I will by the end of the week, and then of course piss everyone off in LA.

 

So I stopped into the train station to set up my trip to Kyoto for a couple days only to find out it's $275 round trip. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I just couldn't do it. That's...that's way too much. I know Kyoto is pretty (that's where all the temples are) but it'll be there when I come back. To tell you the truth, it just stressed me out thinking - oh no, have to plan this - get up early.... GAH. Screw it. That's what I hate about vacations anyway - and $300 to boot? Some other time... (I know Billy, you found your soul there - but $300 is steep, even for a soul). I did however get to see one of the more creepy posters at the train station after scoffing at the price of Kyoto tickets: Wait until you scroll down - LOL:

 

 

Insert priest and Michael Jackson jokes here now. Goddamn, I really wish I knew what the hell that poster said...

 

"Give boys their cherries back"

 

You see, this is why I could spend a week just in Tokyo. This shit is priceless. Hell I could spend an entire week just here:

 

 

You just can't fathom how big this place is I couldn't even get it all in the picture. It is 14 stories and you could spend days in there. Whereas the mall of America impresses with just the sheer land it occupies - this thing is the Sherman Tank of shopping. Story after story. Which is how it is here honestly, everything is stacked to the sky with corner shops having 8 levels all with different businesses on every level. Incredible.

 

Man this is a long entry. I should end it and head back out. Wow it's 8:30 already, haven't even done the video yet. I'll leave you with a rainbow that appeared after some rain around 3 PM today. It was sad, all these street performers were all doin' there thing and the rain seriously messed up some equipment for the ill-prepared. I bet that'll only happen once. Heh. Anyway, expect some good night stuff from Kubuki-cho tomorrow and a trip to Ikebukero... all of which means nothing to you guys reading. Heh. Well it will after this week. ;-)

 

 

 

Adam