locked until 04.30.05 
12:15 AM, Friday, April 8th 2005:
Aren't these titles just the cutest? (sigh)
I'm sick of my ability to generalize my life into cute titles. It's like I want to smack my writer. Very cute asshole, but this is a major part of my life that I don't like to fit into these nice little entries...
"Yeah, I realize that dickweed - which is why this one is called the MAJORalaur"

There is no denying it anymore. I find it naive now that even thought it was actually a done and complete story on Sunday. In the past 3 days our connection has increased tenfold. What's even more incredible is it has been without any physical contact other than simply sitting in a parked car for a few minutes and talking. The parallels to Palaur 7 years ago, though striking, are showing certain inconsistencies. Mostly - I don't feel responsible for her every ounce of self-esteem. That might also be because she’s not in action-mode where she’ll need that self-esteem to make these choices. Time will tell. Of course why listen to me ramble, the instant messages are much more fun:



majoralaur: hey u
AdamBeWorkin: hey babe
AdamBeWorkin: dealing with the asshole of all assholes on the phone right now
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: working away?
AdamBeWorkin: this is great
majoralaur: lovely..lol
AdamBeWorkin: a guy didn't like his appraisal value
AdamBeWorkin: even though it was enough for the loan
AdamBeWorkin: he wants his money back because he thinks his house is worth more
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: people are absolutely assanine
majoralaur: you're telling me...
majoralaur: has he looked at comps in the area?
majoralaur: does he really know the value of his property?
AdamBeWorkin: yeah - and some house sold for more
AdamBeWorkin: blah blah blah
majoralaur: ahhh....so I see...
AdamBeWorkin: this guy makes archie bunker look PC
AdamBeWorkin: the appraiser is black and apparently was "lazy and didn't do his job"
AdamBeWorkin: LOL
majoralaur: oooh shit!
majoralaur: :-O
AdamBeWorkin: i love this shit
majoralaur: thats almost like me makin' the comment....that if I was craving a taco late at night...
majoralaur: I'd swing by your 'hood
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: and this guy cancelled the loan
AdamBeWorkin: good LORD
majoralaur: the wonderful world of real estate....
AdamBeWorkin: :-)
AdamBeWorkin: so...
AdamBeWorkin: i see you that you IMd me first...
AdamBeWorkin: that's a first
majoralaur: so I did...
AdamBeWorkin: ;-)
majoralaur: ;)
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: you need to add a nose to your smiley
AdamBeWorkin: ;) - wrong
AdamBeWorkin: - all good
AdamBeWorkin: ; - )
majoralaur: you're screwin' the smileys all up, now...
AdamBeWorkin: huh?
AdamBeWorkin: no you are
AdamBeWorkin: you keep forgetting the nose
AdamBeWorkin: at least it's not showin up on my end
majoralaur: your nose wasnt showin up either...
AdamBeWorkin: oh reallllllllllllly
majoralaur: plus, I dont think smileys have noses
AdamBeWorkin: (sigh)
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: to make the emoticon come up
AdamBeWorkin: you gotta add the nose
AdamBeWorkin: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: you don't see the yellow face right?
majoralaur: maybe u can create your own smileys...
majoralaur: add whatever u want to them
AdamBeWorkin: nevermind...
majoralaur: sarcasm..over the head again?
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: thats fine, i'm just getting used to it
AdamBeWorkin: your icon rules
AdamBeWorkin: i'm all trying to concentrate...
AdamBeWorkin: man was this morning frustrating
majoralaur: why?
AdamBeWorkin: i must have run through every single inch of your body all morning
AdamBeWorkin: turning the lights on was a good idea
AdamBeWorkin: and again - you've now made me work out
AdamBeWorkin: thanks
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: and that's sincere too...
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: that is a good thing...gotta take care of yourself now..
majoralaur: that included working out
AdamBeWorkin: what included working out...
majoralaur: *includes
majoralaur: sorry...MY grammar is off today
AdamBeWorkin: well i do enjoy it honestly - but it's so wonderful that you understand it
AdamBeWorkin: and were you serious about Saturday?
majoralaur: what part?
AdamBeWorkin: working out together?
majoralaur: of course!
majoralaur: I enjoy it...and motivation always helps
AdamBeWorkin: heh
AdamBeWorkin: where?
AdamBeWorkin: or do you just want to run around in a park?
AdamBeWorkin: i bet i have more stamina than you
majoralaur: ooooh, is that right?
majoralaur: I'm sure I can prove u wrong in that arena....
AdamBeWorkin: i ran cross country
AdamBeWorkin: i have pretty stupid good stamina
majoralaur: thats what they all say
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: h
AdamBeWorkin: a
AdamBeWorkin: well you asked me to "prove it" last night
AdamBeWorkin: oh speaking of which...
majoralaur: yes?
AdamBeWorkin: too afraid to put HIV test in your web browser at work?
AdamBeWorkin: LOL
majoralaur: haahha
AdamBeWorkin: i started to and then thought....
AdamBeWorkin: hmmm
majoralaur: prob. not the best idea...
majoralaur: the IT guys do random searches every now and then
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: so uhm....
AdamBeWorkin: we're doing a little bush beating here...
majoralaur: ??
AdamBeWorkin: heh
majoralaur: speak for yourself
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: beating around the bush...
AdamBeWorkin: was everything cool last night? Weren't you late?
majoralaur: no...everything was cool
majoralaur: perfect timing
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: what days do you go to work later?
majoralaur: it really depends
majoralaur: I dont have a 'fixed' schedule
AdamBeWorkin: cause i'd love to meet with you for brunch or something one morning/afternoon
AdamBeWorkin: i can meet you on your way pretty simply
AdamBeWorkin: and i'll be more high class than Denny's
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: uh huuuuuuh...
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: (sigh)
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: it's all good...
majoralaur: i'm only playi
majoralaur: *ng
AdamBeWorkin: you PLAYA
majoralaur: thats right ;)
AdamBeWorkin: you workin out tonight?
majoralaur: yep!
AdamBeWorkin: can we actually meet for coffee after - you know the whole "hour tops" idea you had yesterday
majoralaur: ahhhh, sure...that worked out just perfectly
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: exactly 56 minutes...or so....
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: no - more like 5 minutes
AdamBeWorkin: and then "we should go back to your place..."
AdamBeWorkin: ha
majoralaur: sorry, i'll try to control myself better next time....
AdamBeWorkin: well no if that's what you have in mind - just tell my ass NOW
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: so...no lunch for you?
AdamBeWorkin: ...
majoralaur: it's 12:30
majoralaur: i'm hungrrrry!
majoralaur: hungry = moody
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: you asking me to lunch?
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: if u werent so far...
AdamBeWorkin: yeah - no shit
majoralaur: but for me to go OUT OF MY FUKKEN WAY again......!!!!
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: ha HA!
AdamBeWorkin: serioulsy - tonight?
AdamBeWorkin: can you pull it off?
AdamBeWorkin: HA
AdamBeWorkin: that came off wrong
majoralaur: tonight may be a little difficult
AdamBeWorkin: k
AdamBeWorkin: i figured
AdamBeWorkin: it's all pretty much in your court from this point on
majoralaur: he leaves again this friday...
AdamBeWorkin: so don't take me not asking as a sign that I'm not interested...
AdamBeWorkin: jesus really?
majoralaur: yeah
majoralaur: busy month
AdamBeWorkin: what time friday?
majoralaur: sometime early afternoon
AdamBeWorkin: hmmmmmmmm
majoralaur: I have dinner plans at 7 that night
AdamBeWorkin: k
majoralaur: what r u doing late friday?
AdamBeWorkin: u
AdamBeWorkin: that was a response
majoralaur: oooh, gotcha ;)
AdamBeWorkin: but i'm pretty open babe
majoralaur: k, well if nothing better comes up on your end...
majoralaur: maybe we can hook up after dinner
AdamBeWorkin: ?
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: are you really that devoid of self confidence or was that a joke?
majoralaur: u cant tell sarcasm when u see it??
majoralaur: hehehe
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: or are u only good at giving it?
AdamBeWorkin: probably a stupid question, but do you have any plans whatsoever to talk to him?
AdamBeWorkin: or are you just gonna ride this out while it's still fun?
AdamBeWorkin: I just want to know where your at - so I can forget about it
majoralaur: well...
majoralaur: like I kind of said last night...
majoralaur: with him being gone alot...it's easy to simply not talk about things..
majoralaur: cause he leaves for a few days...
majoralaur: then my desire to tell him lessens...
majoralaur: I don't know
majoralaur: I guess I keep thinking..."when the time is right.."
majoralaur: but is it ever?
AdamBeWorkin: my position here is pretty obvious I guess...
AdamBeWorkin: you just hope for soooooo much more
AdamBeWorkin: but I just don't see you seeing me as anything but temporary
AdamBeWorkin: all I can do is be here though...
AdamBeWorkin: and I'm not sure you'd have the balls to admit that to me either
AdamBeWorkin: or maybe the OVUM
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: if I am - tell me, I'll play that role - and we'll have a fuckin good time
majoralaur: I don't want to say 'temporary'...
majoralaur: cause you never know
majoralaur: things happen...things change...
majoralaur: things happen for mysterious reasons sometimes...
AdamBeWorkin: things happen when you make them happen
majoralaur: yes, but...
majoralaur: I just dont know if I can do that right now...or tomorrow...or whenever
majoralaur: I just don't know
AdamBeWorkin: what do you need from me then
AdamBeWorkin: what fulfills you?
AdamBeWorkin: what do you want me to be?
majoralaur: I just want you to be yourself
majoralaur: be who u really are to me
AdamBeWorkin: i'm always that
AdamBeWorkin: but "us"
majoralaur: I can't answer that...
majoralaur: it's still all so new...
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
majoralaur: I mean, to spare our feelings...and maybe make things easier..if you want, maybe we could just make it a 'fun' relationship...
AdamBeWorkin: how can you live that?
AdamBeWorkin: don't you want more?
majoralaur: of course I do!!
majoralaur: but..
AdamBeWorkin: has your relationship always been that devoid of passion?
majoralaur: if I want more, I'd have to make some pretty drastic changes in my life..
majoralaur: his passion is his career...not me
majoralaur: he loves me, but...
majoralaur: I know I am not his world
AdamBeWorkin: herein lies the rub of course
AdamBeWorkin: in time Major, we're only gonna get closer
AdamBeWorkin: the "in love" will grow to more
AdamBeWorkin: and then I have to sit there and think...
AdamBeWorkin: "will she do this to me if I have a bad week?"
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: bad week???
majoralaur: what do u mean?
AdamBeWorkin: well no
AdamBeWorkin: i mean
AdamBeWorkin: you're cheating on your husband
AdamBeWorkin: period
AdamBeWorkin: i believe it's because you have no connection with him
majoralaur: so what you're saying...is obviously...
AdamBeWorkin: got married for "business" like reasons
majoralaur: once a cheater, always a cheater?
AdamBeWorkin: what is making you stray
AdamBeWorkin: that's what I'm asking
AdamBeWorkin: and what is making it so comfortable
AdamBeWorkin: you have no itch to talk to him
majoralaur: saying, that if we are starting off on this 'wrong foot'..whats to say I wouldnt do it to u in time?
majoralaur: is that what you're asking me?
AdamBeWorkin: you don't communicate enough of your feelings for me to know
AdamBeWorkin: i dont believe once a cheater always a cheater
AdamBeWorkin: it depends on circumstances
majoralaur: thats what I think...
majoralaur: look, bottom line..I love my husband...I really cant imagine my life without him right now, but...
majoralaur: we have no deep connection
majoralaur: we have no intense passion
majoralaur: we treats me like a husband treats a wife
majoralaur: but without really knowing me as Major...and not just 'wife'
AdamBeWorkin: yeah - it's wrong babe
AdamBeWorkin: it's what a million people do all the time
AdamBeWorkin: and they find their passion "elsewhere"
AdamBeWorkin: in fact - isn't there a WHOLE TV SHOW based on that?
AdamBeWorkin: LOLOLOL
majoralaur: I know...and I know what i'm doing is wrong!
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: perhaps....
majoralaur: but, I can't deny the feelings I have for you...
majoralaur: I just want to make sure what we feel is not 'fleeting...'
AdamBeWorkin: there
AdamBeWorkin: that's what i wanted to hear
AdamBeWorkin: that's communication Major
AdamBeWorkin: I understand what you're doing
AdamBeWorkin: where you're coming from
majoralaur: its still all so confusing...
AdamBeWorkin: that will lessen in time
AdamBeWorkin: but i will NOT, just be your passion fill - that you take and then leave
AdamBeWorkin: because that will gut me
AdamBeWorkin: if you want to know if this is real
AdamBeWorkin: if you want to really know me - and appreciate what it feels like to be this connected
AdamBeWorkin: then I will trust you
AdamBeWorkin: and enjoy every second I have
majoralaur: and I'm not just using you as an outlet for passion
majoralaur: I think it's much more than that
majoralaur: there issoemthing about you
majoralaur: *is something
AdamBeWorkin: yeah - I'm perfect for YOU
majoralaur: quite possibly
AdamBeWorkin: that's what suuuuuuuucks
majoralaur: but there is sooo much more I have to explore with you...
majoralaur: to really know that for sure!
AdamBeWorkin: I will give you as much as I can Major
AdamBeWorkin: It's exciting to me, to know that this is all so new to you
AdamBeWorkin: but when you know Major...
majoralaur: and honestly...I never believed in that whole 'love at first site' thing...
majoralaur: I believed in 'lust at first'...
majoralaur: so when u tell me those things..I just don't know..
AdamBeWorkin: I said I'm in love with you
AdamBeWorkin: I am
AdamBeWorkin: it's not just physical
AdamBeWorkin: you know that
majoralaur: yeah...
AdamBeWorkin: i did not say I loved you though
AdamBeWorkin: and you know the difference
majoralaur: no..there is a difference
majoralaur: I know very well
AdamBeWorkin: that just grows in time
AdamBeWorkin: but lust also doesn't infiltrate your head every second
AdamBeWorkin: even a guy's head
majoralaur: even for a guy?
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: k sweetie...I have to go now...
AdamBeWorkin: hey one more thing
AdamBeWorkin: when you do KNOW
AdamBeWorkin: whenever that is
majoralaur: ??
AdamBeWorkin: I need you to be the person who grabs it
AdamBeWorkin: who stands up for herself
AdamBeWorkin: and demands a life that she sees
AdamBeWorkin: and wants
majoralaur: of course...
AdamBeWorkin: if that isn't in you...
majoralaur: I have always gone for exactly what I wanted...
majoralaur: and 9 out of 10 times, gotten it!
AdamBeWorkin: alright
AdamBeWorkin: well - I just need to make that clear
majoralaur: so dont even worry bout that...
majoralaur: we'll talk again..
AdamBeWorkin: i can't handle a docent woman
AdamBeWorkin: k babe
AdamBeWorkin: go eat
majoralaur: bye sweetie!
Several hours later…
AdamBeWorkin: ...
majoralaur: hola!
AdamBeWorkin: hola! chica!
AdamBeWorkin: i had a pretty intense lunch
AdamBeWorkin: you?
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: how intense??!
AdamBeWorkin: just thinking about everything
majoralaur: such as...
AdamBeWorkin: this situation
AdamBeWorkin: what the right thing to do is
AdamBeWorkin: it was just a really good hour of battling in my brain i guess
majoralaur: and what was your conclusion...?
AdamBeWorkin: looking at it from your perspective
majoralaur: and...
AdamBeWorkin: if you've truly never felt this
AdamBeWorkin: I can imagine how you're thinking about things
AdamBeWorkin: you don't put a bomb into things
AdamBeWorkin: now
AdamBeWorkin: you just dont
majoralaur: right....
AdamBeWorkin: i understand that
AdamBeWorkin: because there's probably no real way to just "talk" about things with him
AdamBeWorkin: since you've been down this road
AdamBeWorkin: before
AdamBeWorkin: once you start that conversation...
majoralaur: we've talked about things many times before...
AdamBeWorkin: it will unravel
majoralaur: many, many times....
AdamBeWorkin: right
AdamBeWorkin: and you've known me for all of 2 days
majoralaur: and he has vowed many, many times that he will do anything to make this work
majoralaur: right...
AdamBeWorkin: really?
AdamBeWorkin: keep talking...
majoralaur: yes, he's told me that before...
AdamBeWorkin: what did you say you needed?
majoralaur: I told him....we have different views on life...and where we want our lives to go...
majoralaur: he agreed
majoralaur: knowing that I am not 100% happy, he's asked me numerous times what he can do to change that...
majoralaur: and I told him, that I am not trying to change him as a person..you are who you are...
majoralaur: we just dont see eye to eye on many things
AdamBeWorkin: how big of a reason was the greencard for the marriage
majoralaur: not the entire reason
AdamBeWorkin: right
majoralaur: but it was a real agreement from the get-go
AdamBeWorkin: how long had you been "together" though
majoralaur: we 'dated' long distance for 2 yrs
majoralaur: before we married and moved in together
AdamBeWorkin: wow
AdamBeWorkin: wow x2
majoralaur: we really didnt know each other
majoralaur: x2?
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: and you weren't faithful before the marriage
AdamBeWorkin: as he probably wasn't either
majoralaur: who knows...
AdamBeWorkin: but since the marriage - completely
majoralaur: not to say I wasnt faithful
majoralaur: yes, since the marriage///
AdamBeWorkin: yeah but you were with other guys during the long distance
majoralaur: I was seeing my ex
majoralaur: on occasion
AdamBeWorkin: right
majoralaur: and I know he was going otu alot here in LA too...
AdamBeWorkin: right
majoralaur: so, whos to say
AdamBeWorkin: what about now?
majoralaur: we never really discussed that
AdamBeWorkin: just curious
majoralaur: what about now...?
AdamBeWorkin: with him?
AdamBeWorkin: i know he's in love with the idea of a wife
majoralaur: u mean, do I think he's...?
AdamBeWorkin: but he's not passionless
AdamBeWorkin: even if it's not directed towards you
majoralaur: right
majoralaur: I don't know
AdamBeWorkin: so you don't think he's feeding that somewhere
AdamBeWorkin: other than his job?
majoralaur: if he is finding it elsewhere...he's a damn good actor
AdamBeWorkin: heh
AdamBeWorkin: well how hard is it to act when you see each other so little?
majoralaur: I wouldnt blame him...
majoralaur: but I would be hurt with his dishonesty
AdamBeWorkin: of course
majoralaur: I have no proof...
majoralaur: so I cant accuse...
AdamBeWorkin: right and I don't mean to bring that up
majoralaur: and if he came to me one day
AdamBeWorkin: i'm just trying to see the whole thing
majoralaur: and told me he met someone else...
majoralaur: and wanted to be with her, I wouldnt be totally shocked..
majoralaur: I would let him go...
AdamBeWorkin: yeah -but you have always been the perfect wife to him
AdamBeWorkin: right?
AdamBeWorkin: I mean - for a part time marriage
AdamBeWorkin: why would he give that up?
majoralaur: yeah...
majoralaur: I don't know,...
majoralaur: I do alot for him
AdamBeWorkin: right
majoralaur: aside from cooking & cleaning and whatever...
majoralaur: I support his career 100%
majoralaur: thats big to him
AdamBeWorkin: right
AdamBeWorkin: it would be big to me too
majoralaur: of course
majoralaur: I would never shoot down ones dreams
majoralaur: it was his idea to move to LA
AdamBeWorkin: it can co-exist...
majoralaur: and i Backed him entirely...
AdamBeWorkin: what were your dreams before then?
AdamBeWorkin: for example while you're thinking
AdamBeWorkin: Jess only wanted a family
AdamBeWorkin: she's a helluva worker
majoralaur: see...I was young...just ready for a change...dont think I really had a vision of where my life was going at that point...
AdamBeWorkin: moved up the restaurant chain of command quick as fuck
majoralaur: nice!
AdamBeWorkin: but her true wanting
AdamBeWorkin: was a family
majoralaur: hmmm
AdamBeWorkin: so when she came out and "supported" my career
AdamBeWorkin: it wasn't as if she gave up the world
majoralaur: right
majoralaur: same with me
AdamBeWorkin: unfortunately it ended up she could NOT have kids in LA
majoralaur: I truly wasnt giving up anything
AdamBeWorkin: right...
AdamBeWorkin: but now you feel like you're missing out
AdamBeWorkin: in ways
majoralaur: I wouldnt mind having a family here
majoralaur: at all
AdamBeWorkin: i know babe
AdamBeWorkin: i'm well aware of that
AdamBeWorkin: ;-)
majoralaur: I just want to make sure when I do...its with the right man
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: to make a long story short in all this, though we can continue
AdamBeWorkin: I owe it to you and myself to try to put your situation out of my head for a bit
AdamBeWorkin: and just be with you
AdamBeWorkin: as much as I can
AdamBeWorkin: so you feel some stability and security in that
majoralaur: thats perfect...
majoralaur: I'm not asking for much elsefrom you...
AdamBeWorkin: well
AdamBeWorkin: there's going to come a time when... you're sleeping with him
AdamBeWorkin: that's...
AdamBeWorkin: going to be insanely difficult
AdamBeWorkin: and i know your instinct will be to lie to me about it
majoralaur: lie to you?
AdamBeWorkin: but, you need to be up front
AdamBeWorkin: well yeah - and not tell me
AdamBeWorkin: i mean seriously - have you thought about that?
majoralaur: not tell you when we havae sex?
AdamBeWorkin: are you not going to be with him?
majoralaur: well, honestly...its something u probably wont want to hear about anyway..
AdamBeWorkin: but i will
majoralaur: I can't not be with him
AdamBeWorkin: because that means something
AdamBeWorkin: exactly
majoralaur: cause then he will begin to questiuon me
AdamBeWorkin: so where does that leave us?
majoralaur: I mean, i'm still his wife
AdamBeWorkin: right
AdamBeWorkin: so how long do you really think you could play that game?
majoralaur: I don't know....at all....
majoralaur: maybe i'll wake up tomorrow, ready for a change
AdamBeWorkin: and why isn't what's happened in the past 48 hours enough to warrant a "sit down"
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: 'sit down'? lol
AdamBeWorkin: meaning - there's OBVIOUSLY a problem in your relationship
AdamBeWorkin: that only "minorly" has to do with me
majoralaur: the last thing I want to tell him right now is that I met someone else over the weekend while he was gone..
AdamBeWorkin: no no no
majoralaur: I know...we know there are issues...
majoralaur: but neither of us have taken a stance to make a change
AdamBeWorkin: wow - what could you do?
majoralaur: cause something is keeping us there...I cant explain
majoralaur: there is obviously some sort of bond keeping us together or else I would have picked up and left long ago
majoralaur: I mean, it would be easy,. we dont have children together...
AdamBeWorkin: you dont think it's comfort?
majoralaur: quite possibly...
AdamBeWorkin: or because you NEVER thought a different type of connection was possible
majoralaur: like I said...this has been my first seriosu relationship...aside from 'puppy love'...I'd never felt strongly about anyone before
AdamBeWorkin: ok
majoralaur: I have nothing to compare it to..
majoralaur: and then I met you..
majoralaur: and being with you has confused the hell out of me...
AdamBeWorkin: how the fuck did this happen?
AdamBeWorkin: <shaking head>
majoralaur: I only wish I knew...
AdamBeWorkin: and it's so shitty because
AdamBeWorkin: I can't do anything for you
AdamBeWorkin: that I would do if we were just "dating"
AdamBeWorkin: you know?
AdamBeWorkin: my hands are soooooooo tied
AdamBeWorkin: on so many levels
majoralaur: of course...
AdamBeWorkin: just "time" to sit
AdamBeWorkin: and not feel that ticking clock
majoralaur: I know...
majoralaur: I just want to take 'us' one day at a time for now...
majoralaur: see where things may lead...
AdamBeWorkin: well we don't have to beat this to the ground
majoralaur: get to know each other better
AdamBeWorkin: i agree - but that's a band-aid...that's all I'm saying
AdamBeWorkin: because i have no doubt this will continue
AdamBeWorkin: and if you thought things were intense before
AdamBeWorkin: it will get harder and harder
AdamBeWorkin: there are certain things we haven't even "done" yet
majoralaur: I know...
AdamBeWorkin: that is going to be almost too intense to think about
AdamBeWorkin: let alone just tlaking with you
majoralaur: believe me, I have thought about all that
AdamBeWorkin: heh - so have i
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: you were amazing this morning too btw
majoralaur: hehehhe
AdamBeWorkin: but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it I guess
AdamBeWorkin: I do have to admit I was thinking all during lunch "why the fuck does this happen to me?"
majoralaur: thats what u get for searching CL...
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: I mean, I do hate to bring back memories of your past relationships...(married women)
AdamBeWorkin: well I resisted the urge to get blown by a tranny
AdamBeWorkin: guess I should've given that another thought
AdamBeWorkin: LOL
AdamBeWorkin: it's not that it brings back bad memories - it's that it was a HUGE lesson in my life
majoralaur: :)
AdamBeWorkin: (and I'm kidding about the tranny btw, please laugh)
AdamBeWorkin: you're so behind
AdamBeWorkin: ha
majoralaur: oops...
majoralaur: it's called 'working'
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: yeah - I should do that too
AdamBeWorkin: anyway - huge lesson
AdamBeWorkin: and I learned a lot about how people tick
AdamBeWorkin: and it engrained a lot of "truths" in my mind
majoralaur: meaning..?
AdamBeWorkin: you will most likely stay with your husband
AdamBeWorkin: and consider me some rebound
AdamBeWorkin: that's what's most likely
majoralaur: no, no, no...........
AdamBeWorkin: how can you say no?
AdamBeWorkin: it's the path of least resistence!
AdamBeWorkin: it's HARD to do the opposite of that statement
AdamBeWorkin: so you're most likely to not "rock the boat"
AdamBeWorkin: hell - with the past relationship - she even told him...
AdamBeWorkin: and still stayed
majoralaur: he stayed to?
majoralaur: after knowing that?
majoralaur: ??
AdamBeWorkin: god she had the intestinal fortitude of an amoeba
AdamBeWorkin: oh yeah he stayed
AdamBeWorkin: they're still together
majoralaur: damn
majoralaur: I cant imagine...
AdamBeWorkin: people always take the easier way out
majoralaur: staying..after knowing that...
AdamBeWorkin: *almost always
majoralaur: unless it was just physical
AdamBeWorkin: no he knew how intense we were
AdamBeWorkin: but with counseling you can put up with anything
majoralaur: mmmm
majoralaur: I suppose
majoralaur: temporarily
AdamBeWorkin: but the bottom line is, it takes a certain type of person
AdamBeWorkin: to make that step
AdamBeWorkin: to change your own life
AdamBeWorkin: comfort is more powerful than CRACK
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: so it's my job to make you miss me so goddamn much
AdamBeWorkin: that you're uncomfortable when we're not together
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: your duty, hm?
majoralaur: wanna see some pics?
AdamBeWorkin: hell yeah i do
AdamBeWorkin: you serious?
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: just some random ones from miami
majoralaur: my friend just sent me some
AdamBeWorkin: you made my heart skip a little
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: that rules
majoralaur: nothing too risque
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: akontras@myjobwhichivekeptsecreton4tvs.com
majoralaur: k hold on
AdamBeWorkin: i'll find some of me...
majoralaur: send em!
majoralaur: of course, i'm sure u have plenty on your website
AdamBeWorkin: oh yeah
AdamBeWorkin: i'm just linking you
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: i have one page with my goofy ass headshots
AdamBeWorkin: http://www.4tvs.com/Journey/yearthree/entries/J169-012002.html
AdamBeWorkin: whew
AdamBeWorkin: that's some serious red eye babe
AdamBeWorkin: but your tits look fuckin unreal
majoralaur: ewww I know huh
AdamBeWorkin: LOL
majoralaur: little devil
majoralaur: hahah
AdamBeWorkin: sorry for the crassness
majoralaur: hahah
AdamBeWorkin: but that was the first thing that came to mind
AdamBeWorkin: ha
majoralaur: thanks ;)
AdamBeWorkin: and babe - you gotta smile more
AdamBeWorkin: i can't wait to take your picture
AdamBeWorkin: you'll smile for me...
majoralaur: I did smile!
majoralaur: in that one
majoralaur: I have some better ones from bangkok
majoralaur: riding an elephant!
majoralaur: nice headshots, btw....lol
AdamBeWorkin: heh
AdamBeWorkin: it's a funny entry
AdamBeWorkin: me kicking and screaming all the way
AdamBeWorkin: I'm just not an actor
AdamBeWorkin: i fucking hate actors
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: i'll fix your red eye btw
AdamBeWorkin: send it back to ya
majoralaur: ahhh, I appreciate it...
majoralaur: ;)
majoralaur: u look so different w/ short hair
AdamBeWorkin: i know i think i look better
AdamBeWorkin: long hair drives me crazy
AdamBeWorkin: but i have to grow it out for this part
AdamBeWorkin: it's insane how much different i look with the slightest differences
AdamBeWorkin: from hair
AdamBeWorkin: to facial hair
AdamBeWorkin: i mean -look at that pic on the page where I shaved
AdamBeWorkin: it's 5 minutes apart from the previous pics
majoralaur: I know!
majoralaur: how old are those pics?
AdamBeWorkin: but I look 10 pounds heavier
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: and 10 years younger
AdamBeWorkin: 3 years
majoralaur: very cute
AdamBeWorkin: sorry i'm so damn scruffy now
majoralaur: u look very different
AdamBeWorkin: http://www.4tvs.com/4tvs/trinitrons/gallerydewey.html
majoralaur: not to say you're not cute now... ;)
AdamBeWorkin: i look better "groomed"
AdamBeWorkin: i know
AdamBeWorkin: ;-)
AdamBeWorkin: but if you can STAND the sight of me now
AdamBeWorkin: you'll be pleasantly surprised come fall
AdamBeWorkin: heh
AdamBeWorkin: of course I will have half my eyebrows shaved off
AdamBeWorkin: but those grow quickly
majoralaur: hahahaha
majoralaur: sexy ;)
AdamBeWorkin: http://www.4tvs.com/Journey/yearfour/entries/J264-080303.html
AdamBeWorkin: look at that cute puppy
AdamBeWorkin: can you handle it?
AdamBeWorkin: heh
majoralaur: lets see...
majoralaur: awwww....wook at that wittle face
majoralaur: heheh
AdamBeWorkin: he looks exactly the same now - just 10 times bigger
majoralaur: he's HUGE!
majoralaur: what do u feed that boy?
AdamBeWorkin: heh
majoralaur: btw
majoralaur: you're such a Libra
majoralaur: I read about u the other day...
majoralaur: ..not that I really believe those things..
majoralaur: hehe
AdamBeWorkin: (sigh) what did it say?
AdamBeWorkin: 'cause as embarrasing as it is...I've never seen them be wrong about me
AdamBeWorkin: except I'm a helluva lot more logical than they usually say
AdamBeWorkin: i'm basically a woman
majoralaur: ;)
majoralaur: it's actually in this book someone here at work has
majoralaur: I have to make a fukken copy of your sign
majoralaur: so u can read it
AdamBeWorkin: and is that the co-worker on the elephant in the picture?
majoralaur: hehehehe
majoralaur: yep...
AdamBeWorkin: isn't he...
AdamBeWorkin: wait
AdamBeWorkin: on myspace
majoralaur: wait?
majoralaur: yeah
AdamBeWorkin: i thought i recognized him
majoralaur: he's on my friend list
AdamBeWorkin: ****?
majoralaur: u recognize him?
majoralaur: *****
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
AdamBeWorkin: i RULE
majoralaur: he's like my best friend out here
majoralaur: u do rule...
AdamBeWorkin: well he had a picture of you
majoralaur: is he on your buddy list too?
AdamBeWorkin: on his space
majoralaur: hahahah
majoralaur: yeah..
AdamBeWorkin: that's how I remembered
majoralaur: from Bangkok
majoralaur: too funny..
majoralaur: he's very cool
AdamBeWorkin: that poor elephant
majoralaur: poor?
majoralaur: what r u trying to say!?!?
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: dawg is like - "fuck my life"
AdamBeWorkin: oh yeha - you're so HUUUUUGE
AdamBeWorkin: ha
majoralaur: seriosuly...
majoralaur: back and forth...
AdamBeWorkin: right
majoralaur: making fukken tourists laugh all day
AdamBeWorkin: heh
majoralaur: so what is it exactly...that u want to pursue..?
AdamBeWorkin: well when I was with my manager
AdamBeWorkin: we were working on a pilot with all those characters
AdamBeWorkin: so I'm doign that
majoralaur: ok...
AdamBeWorkin: but obviously
AdamBeWorkin: i'm a songwriter
majoralaur: so u want to pursue the comdey thing...I assume
AdamBeWorkin: and if I just followed that - there's a path
AdamBeWorkin: i love to create
AdamBeWorkin: more than anything
AdamBeWorkin: i have so much stuff inside of me
AdamBeWorkin: and all I do 24-7 is write
AdamBeWorkin: sing create
AdamBeWorkin: when you see 4tvs, you'll understand
majoralaur: well u have to have some kind of 'path' 'focus'...
AdamBeWorkin: it's the culmination of all of it
majoralaur: to make it in this biz
AdamBeWorkin: but yes - I need to focus on one
majoralaur: otherwise...
majoralaur: u get lost in the crowd
AdamBeWorkin: after you watch that 30 minute show
majoralaur: everyone comes to LA for that EXACT same reason
AdamBeWorkin: turn to me and tell me what you think
AdamBeWorkin: seriously
majoralaur: <well,m everyone but me of coursse>
AdamBeWorkin: it's a head scratcher
majoralaur: k...i'll tell you
majoralaur: I bet it is
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: passionate cunnilinguist unfortunately isn't very mainstream
majoralaur: :)
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: now THAT was funny
majoralaur: hehehe
AdamBeWorkin: you have to actually be giggling out loud
majoralaur: I admit, I laughed a little
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: k
AdamBeWorkin: ;-)
majoralaur: so...
majoralaur: a little off subject
AdamBeWorkin: ...
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
majoralaur: what type of woman do u usually go for...physically?
AdamBeWorkin: long brown hair
AdamBeWorkin: after that
majoralaur: uh huh....
AdamBeWorkin: it's pretty much everything else
AdamBeWorkin: i dont mind curves
AdamBeWorkin: smile is a big deal
AdamBeWorkin: but you either connect or not you know?
AdamBeWorkin: yes you know
AdamBeWorkin: but beyond us I mean...
AdamBeWorkin: there's a woman at work here
majoralaur: yes....
AdamBeWorkin: who has beautiful eyes like you
AdamBeWorkin: long brown hair
AdamBeWorkin: all that
majoralaur: yeah...
AdamBeWorkin: (no butt though - yours is perfect)
AdamBeWorkin: but, it's incredibly short lived
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: because those eyes aren't looking at me at all
majoralaur: is she taken?
AdamBeWorkin: donot know
AdamBeWorkin: *dont
AdamBeWorkin: i dont believe so
majoralaur: do u talk often?
AdamBeWorkin: but inner office shit
AdamBeWorkin: uhm
AdamBeWorkin: we do
AdamBeWorkin: but...
majoralaur: mostly work stuff? or beyond...?
AdamBeWorkin: hardly beyond
AdamBeWorkin: you just dont click sometimes
AdamBeWorkin: you know?
majoralaur: of course
AdamBeWorkin: but physically - yeah
majoralaur: attractive looks may intially catch your eye...
AdamBeWorkin: darker skinned
majoralaur: but if there is nothing beyond that...
AdamBeWorkin: big eyes
majoralaur: it quickly fizzles
majoralaur: so do I somewhat fit that description? lol
AdamBeWorkin: are you jjoking?
AdamBeWorkin: ha
AdamBeWorkin: i would venture to say
AdamBeWorkin: if a GIRAFFE looked at me the way you look at me
majoralaur: :)
AdamBeWorkin: I'd probably consider being a zookeeper
majoralaur: heheheheh
majoralaur: damn!
AdamBeWorkin: but yes - you're gorgeous
majoralaur: is there4 something else you're not telling me...??
majoralaur: heheh
AdamBeWorkin: i've shown 2 people your picture already
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: which picture?
AdamBeWorkin: the first one
AdamBeWorkin: there's this old guy here
AdamBeWorkin: 60
AdamBeWorkin: new yorker
majoralaur: yeah..
AdamBeWorkin: and he asked about my weekend
AdamBeWorkin: and I just shook my head
AdamBeWorkin: and i briefly explained what had happened
majoralaur: yeah....
AdamBeWorkin: and then i showed him your picture and he said
AdamBeWorkin: yeah, you're in some shit arent you
AdamBeWorkin: cause I didnt really tell him how strong i was feeling about you
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: he's a cool old guy
majoralaur: thats funny.......
AdamBeWorkin: but I doubt I'm your tyoe
AdamBeWorkin: while we're playing this game
majoralaur: what makes u say that?
AdamBeWorkin: am i wrong?
majoralaur: I love dark, intense, soulful eyes....
majoralaur: and you def. have that
AdamBeWorkin: check
majoralaur: thats always the first thing that attracts me
AdamBeWorkin: when did you actually see them though?
AdamBeWorkin: at the bar?
majoralaur: well, it wasnt when we were eating....
majoralaur: u barely looked at me! lol
majoralaur: u looked uncomfortable
AdamBeWorkin: i was
majoralaur: like u really didnt want to be there
AdamBeWorkin: oh that wasn't it
AdamBeWorkin: it had to be some cosmic thing
AdamBeWorkin: i swear
AdamBeWorkin: because something was wrong
majoralaur: I was a tad nervous myself
AdamBeWorkin: and i couldn't put my finger on it
majoralaur: hmmmm
AdamBeWorkin: i had such an overwhelming feeling
AdamBeWorkin: and energy
AdamBeWorkin: that the situation was just askew
majoralaur: right when u sat down?
AdamBeWorkin: and that there was so much you needed to say
majoralaur: or after we started talking?
AdamBeWorkin: yeah - the moment I looked at you
majoralaur: really...
AdamBeWorkin: your eyes sparkled a bit
AdamBeWorkin: and I looked away
AdamBeWorkin: and thought
AdamBeWorkin: what the fuck is this?
AdamBeWorkin: then you talked
AdamBeWorkin: i talked
majoralaur: yeah...
AdamBeWorkin: but i couldnt' get it out of my head
AdamBeWorkin: that something was up
majoralaur: so....strange...
AdamBeWorkin: and I just said fuck it and told you
AdamBeWorkin: heh
majoralaur: I really wasnt trying to give off that vibe
AdamBeWorkin: i'm so glad I told you that right away
AdamBeWorkin: because it proves so much
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: like if I told you this shit now
AdamBeWorkin: you'd be like WHATEVER PLAYA
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: but I told you immediately
AdamBeWorkin: i'm very glad I did that
majoralaur: you did...
majoralaur: it was knd of a relief
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
majoralaur: I suddenly felt more comfortable
majoralaur: less nervous
AdamBeWorkin: well it was like I suddenly knew a part of you
AdamBeWorkin: you didn't think was known
majoralaur: true...
AdamBeWorkin: i can only imagine how that felt...
AdamBeWorkin: and then after the drinks
AdamBeWorkin: no, i know what it is
AdamBeWorkin: why didn't i think of this before
majoralaur: odd...to say the least
majoralaur: what??
AdamBeWorkin: I pulled out the PSP...
majoralaur: hahahah
AdamBeWorkin: and you HAD TO HAVE ME
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: that was IT!!!!
majoralaur: u guessed it!!
majoralaur: heh he
AdamBeWorkin: ha
AdamBeWorkin: oh and btw
majoralaur: ooooh, you know it....
AdamBeWorkin: always wanted to ask you this
majoralaur: ?
AdamBeWorkin: when you said you wanted to hear me sing
majoralaur: yes?
AdamBeWorkin: were you surprised when I implied right then
AdamBeWorkin: at my house?
AdamBeWorkin: or were you inferring that yourself?
majoralaur: ummmm, not entirely
AdamBeWorkin: had you made up your mind by thatpoint?
majoralaur: perhaps
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: oh - and what if the song had sucked...woudl you still have kissed me?
AdamBeWorkin: LOL
majoralaur: of course I could have driven myself home right after
majoralaur: heheheh
majoralaur: maybe given u a sympathy kiss
AdamBeWorkin: or would you have interrupted it so you wouldn't have to hear it anymore
AdamBeWorkin: LOL
majoralaur: :)
AdamBeWorkin: hahahaha
AdamBeWorkin: oh - and did you really have chills listening to it?
majoralaur: I swear...
majoralaur: it was so beautiful...
majoralaur: and I felt so right being there
AdamBeWorkin: whew
majoralaur: i twas truly amazing
AdamBeWorkin: <hug>
majoralaur: I won't forget that feeling ever!!
majoralaur: :)
AdamBeWorkin: you act like it's in the past
AdamBeWorkin: heh
AdamBeWorkin: but i do admit it's a pretty beautiful first night...
majoralaur: u know what I mean!
majoralaur: it was truly a beautiful way to start things off...
AdamBeWorkin: btw - thank you for being...
AdamBeWorkin: well vulnerable?
AdamBeWorkin: any idea what I mean by that?
majoralaur: please elaborate....
AdamBeWorkin: you seem just as concerned if you're right for me
AdamBeWorkin: as vice versa
AdamBeWorkin: the questions you're asking are very...
AdamBeWorkin: vulnerable is the only word I can think of
AdamBeWorkin: it just shows compassion
AdamBeWorkin: that's all
majoralaur: I see....
majoralaur: so...
majoralaur: do u miss me right now?
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: i want to see you so bad right now I am about to stand on th 101 with my thumb out
AdamBeWorkin: and why do you ask that?
majoralaur: hehehe
majoralaur: just....asking....
AdamBeWorkin: ?
majoralaur: just curious, thats all...
AdamBeWorkin: seems like you're dangling a carrot
majoralaur: ?
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: well...I miss you
majoralaur: just wanted u to know that....
AdamBeWorkin: well you could say "i miss you"
AdamBeWorkin: ha
AdamBeWorkin: when i see your name jump on my screen
AdamBeWorkin: i feel a little more at peace
AdamBeWorkin: heh
AdamBeWorkin: it's absolutely pathetic
AdamBeWorkin: you make me feel 15
majoralaur: hehehe
AdamBeWorkin: uhm
AdamBeWorkin: what's your last name?
AdamBeWorkin: how pathetic is THAT
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: ...
majoralaur: i think my IMs froze
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: i can only maximize this screen
AdamBeWorkin: i said "what's your last name..."
majoralaur: FUCK
AdamBeWorkin: and laughed that I didn't know that
majoralaur: k, better
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: thats right..u dont know
majoralaur: cause I'm not broadcasting it on the internet for everyone to see
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: ?
majoralaur: esp. to strange guys who may stalk me...
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: ?
majoralaur: "?"
majoralaur: hee hee
majoralaur: now it's like the big mystery
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: are you serious?
majoralaur: kiddin silly
majoralaur: “**********” (she replied honestly here, just not posting it)
AdamBeWorkin: wow - you really had me fuckin freaked
AdamBeWorkin: i was like - oh my god
majoralaur: heheh
AdamBeWorkin: she thinks I'm going to kill her or some shit
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: look, I have had scary experiences in the past...
majoralaur: with stalkers
majoralaur: some guys are fukken pshyco
AdamBeWorkin: man
AdamBeWorkin: i guess we DO need to spend a little more time together
AdamBeWorkin: chriiiiiiiiiiiist
majoralaur: not that I think that of you, or anything...
majoralaur: but it was scary shit
AdamBeWorkin: well you were obviously a bit concerned about telling me
majoralaur: no, no
majoralaur: u just never asked before
majoralaur: didnt u see my driver license?
AdamBeWorkin: it just occured to me
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: no
AdamBeWorkin: or did i?
majoralaur: oops, wrong guy
majoralaur: ;)
majoralaur: j/k
AdamBeWorkin: just struck me as funny
majoralaur: well it's not like they will have my last name
AdamBeWorkin: ha
AdamBeWorkin: see - you already know
majoralaur: of course!
majoralaur: why would they?
AdamBeWorkin: wait
AdamBeWorkin: confused
AdamBeWorkin: what's (her husband's) last name?
majoralaur: thats it
AdamBeWorkin: uhm
majoralaur: thats my legal name
AdamBeWorkin: so yeah - they would have his name
majoralaur: ..only if I had kids with HIM silly....
AdamBeWorkin: right...
AdamBeWorkin: i'm trying to be respectful BAB E
AdamBeWorkin: hah
AdamBeWorkin: you rock
AdamBeWorkin: you make me smile
majoralaur: :)
AdamBeWorkin: just. like. that
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: so, workin hard I see?
majoralaur: I'm sorry if Im distracting you at all
AdamBeWorkin: i've taken a few calls
majoralaur: just tell me if I am
AdamBeWorkin: no - same here!
AdamBeWorkin: i hope I'm not distracting you
AdamBeWorkin: uhm scroll up
majoralaur: cause I can work on proposals and take calls and IM
AdamBeWorkin: someone obviously types more
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: multi-tasker, you...
majoralaur: <sigh>
AdamBeWorkin: miss me?
majoralaur: oooooh yes...
majoralaur: and it sucks
majoralaur: cause I cant see you
AdamBeWorkin: not even for coffee?
AdamBeWorkin: can you think of anytime before friday night?
majoralaur: by the time I get out of here, it will be late...
AdamBeWorkin: i know
majoralaur: and he'll be expecting me home
majoralaur: :(
AdamBeWorkin: rigt
AdamBeWorkin: what about before work
AdamBeWorkin: any "slightly" later times this week
AdamBeWorkin: it doesn't have to be lunch
AdamBeWorkin: and i'd like to see you all dressed up for work
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: let me see what my schedules like....in the a.m.
AdamBeWorkin: k
majoralaur: i'll let you know
AdamBeWorkin: and please call me whenever you can
AdamBeWorkin: cause i always want to call you and then put the phone down
majoralaur: like I did last night?
majoralaur: call me anytime in the morning after 9 am
majoralaur: I have a long commute
AdamBeWorkin: ?
AdamBeWorkin: well that's the POINT
majoralaur: I could use the company
AdamBeWorkin: we can meet in the morning
AdamBeWorkin: just leave a bit early
majoralaur: I can
AdamBeWorkin: i seriously mean 20 minutes
AdamBeWorkin: we'll be good if we have to go to work
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: it's never only 20 minutes
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: if we have to go to work - we will STAY at the shop
AdamBeWorkin: or the car
AdamBeWorkin: or the back seat...
AdamBeWorkin: you're right
AdamBeWorkin: at least 45 minutes
majoralaur: heheheh
AdamBeWorkin: holy shit it's 5 PM
AdamBeWorkin: 5:20!
majoralaur: 5:21 to be exact
majoralaur: otta go?
AdamBeWorkin: nope
AdamBeWorkin: i just can't believe how long we've been talking
majoralaur: lets see...I got back in the office just before 3 pm
AdamBeWorkin: do you realize if you didn't have AIM
AdamBeWorkin: it would probably take us 3 months to talk this much?
AdamBeWorkin: heh
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: probably right!
majoralaur: thsi is great!
AdamBeWorkin: ok - so it's not REALLY 48 hours
AdamBeWorkin: it's more like 4 weeks
majoralaur: I look forward to your IM distractions
majoralaur: 4 weeks? heh
AdamBeWorkin: so you should have no reservations about me now!
majoralaur: silly, silly...
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: well you've put my mind at ease hon
AdamBeWorkin: thanks for communicating shit
majoralaur: of course...
AdamBeWorkin: it's so drastically important to talk about this shit
majoralaur: I know sometimes I can be difficult
majoralaur: when it comes to communicating
majoralaur: but this is important stuff
AdamBeWorkin: it is
AdamBeWorkin: and i'm so glad you understand this
AdamBeWorkin: i feel like I'm holding something so fragile
AdamBeWorkin: and I see so much potential
AdamBeWorkin: flying through my hands
AdamBeWorkin: and if I hold it too tight I'll break it
AdamBeWorkin: but if I let go - I'll lose it
AdamBeWorkin: ugh
majoralaur: you're giving me chills
AdamBeWorkin: sorry
AdamBeWorkin: didn't mean to
majoralaur: don't be
AdamBeWorkin: please dont doubt my sincerity
AdamBeWorkin: when I say I'm in love with you
AdamBeWorkin: i am
AdamBeWorkin: i'm not speaking too soon
AdamBeWorkin: love is something that grows in time
majoralaur: for sure...
majoralaur: once u get to know the person
AdamBeWorkin: but this is exactly what "in love" feels
majoralaur: wow
AdamBeWorkin: wow?
majoralaur: <here come those chills again> lol
AdamBeWorkin: man - even my words
majoralaur: yes!
majoralaur: cause I can picture those words coming right out of your mouth....
AdamBeWorkin: man - you really "get me" dont' you
AdamBeWorkin: heh
majoralaur: :)
majoralaur: I miss you...alot...
AdamBeWorkin: I mean that's what I see when you look at me
AdamBeWorkin: that I didn't see with anyone else
AdamBeWorkin: i almost dont have to talk
AdamBeWorkin: you "get me" when you see me
majoralaur: not at all...
AdamBeWorkin: you know I'm sincere
AdamBeWorkin: yuou know how expressive i am
majoralaur: I see it in your eyes
AdamBeWorkin: just in my eyes
majoralaur: yes...
AdamBeWorkin: i've never known anyone to connect with me like that
AdamBeWorkin: ever
majoralaur: it's crazy
AdamBeWorkin: it's just insane
majoralaur: we could stare at each other for the longest...
majoralaur: and not even say one word
AdamBeWorkin: seriously - as fucked up as all this seems
AdamBeWorkin: it's such a blessing in disguise
AdamBeWorkin: that connection is unbelieveably rare
majoralaur: unbelievable...
majoralaur: k, well I should get going...
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: I have to finish this proposal
AdamBeWorkin: k
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: 2 1/2 hrs later
majoralaur: i'll call u on my way home...
AdamBeWorkin: sorry babe
AdamBeWorkin: please do
majoralaur: don't be!!
majoralaur: bye sweetie...
majoralaur: can't wait to see u agai.
AdamBeWorkin: bye
majoralaur: *n
AdamBeWorkin: soon enough
Man, just so much. I don’t even know what to add. She did call and we talked very briefly she told me she’d call me in the morning on her way to work. It was a reassurance on my end because this was the first night that could actually sit and talk with each other and she offered to call me the next morning. Of course it’s a giant set-up because I basically just lose my mind all day waiting for the call. I hate this shit. This is the crux of Palaur. Being completely helpless and waiting. Then if someone is slightly inconsiderate by not calling, it all the sudden means all this shit. Goddamn I fuckin’ hate it. But there’s no avoiding it. That is what these situations will always become unless all you want to do is fuck someone. If you actually care, and the connection is that deep – you have pretty written off the next few months of your life. I’m waiting for the hair on my chin to fall out again. Cut to the next morning, and of course – no call:
AdamBeWorkin: you're killin me...
majoralaur: mornin' sweetie
majoralaur: why??
AdamBeWorkin: uhm - you were gonna call?
AdamBeWorkin: i figured some serious shit went down...
AdamBeWorkin: and you didn't want to call
majoralaur: I got a late start this morning
majoralaur: and then I had am eeting with my boss early
AdamBeWorkin: ? and you skipped your morning drive?
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: no...we met in woodland hills
AdamBeWorkin: oh
AdamBeWorkin: k
AdamBeWorkin: had me there
AdamBeWorkin: so what happened?
majoralaur: well...
majoralaur: like I new...just kind of awkward..
majoralaur: guess I was being kind of distant
AdamBeWorkin: .
AdamBeWorkin: .
AdamBeWorkin: .
majoralaur: uhm, he did say that I wasnt looking him in the eye when I was talking...
majoralaur: but I didnt say much else..
majoralaur: cause then he had to take a phone call...
majoralaur: and it was back to work for him
AdamBeWorkin: wow
majoralaur: so...
AdamBeWorkin: ...
AdamBeWorkin: what do you think?
majoralaur: well, it's just like it always is, I suppose...
majoralaur: the physical aspect was werid last night...
AdamBeWorkin: i bet
AdamBeWorkin: compleeeeeeeeeeeetely physical?
majoralaur: ...?
AdamBeWorkin: sex
AdamBeWorkin: just curious - i assumed you did
majoralaur: yeah
majoralaur: I was really not into it..at all
majoralaur: ...
AdamBeWorkin: ...
AdamBeWorkin: this is hard babe
AdamBeWorkin: it just is
AdamBeWorkin: i can't expect anything different to happen
AdamBeWorkin: but if i told you i slept with someone last night
AdamBeWorkin: you know how you'd feel
AdamBeWorkin: so i just have to take a breath
AdamBeWorkin: and hope it drives you crazy i guess
majoralaur: :(
majoralaur: this really is hard....
AdamBeWorkin: i know
AdamBeWorkin: but the bottom line is - you felt that was what you needed to do
AdamBeWorkin: and you should follow that until it feels wrong
AdamBeWorkin: and if it never does... i know where i stand
AdamBeWorkin: and i'll have to move on
majoralaur: it's more...i'm his wife...I can't deny him that...
majoralaur: it's not like having sex with a guy I picked up in a bar last night
AdamBeWorkin: i agree
majoralaur: it's different... u know?
AdamBeWorkin: i do
majoralaur: ...you're not talking much...
AdamBeWorkin: so much to say
AdamBeWorkin: no idea how to do it
majoralaur: you don't want this to go on...do you?
majoralaur: I'm really getting that vibe
majoralaur: you really don't want to deal with this again..
majoralaur: please just tell me, i'll understand.....
AdamBeWorkin: (sigh)
AdamBeWorkin: i have all this emotion at my fingertips
majoralaur: all I'm saying...just please, please let me know....
AdamBeWorkin: i'm not going anywhere
AdamBeWorkin: do you remember who you talked to last night?
AdamBeWorkin: do you remember who was on the other line?
AdamBeWorkin: i'm that same person
majoralaur: I know...
AdamBeWorkin: i know myself
AdamBeWorkin: i know what this is
majoralaur: I'm just getting the impression..
AdamBeWorkin: let me throw this at ya
AdamBeWorkin: the reason you had sex with him
AdamBeWorkin: wasn't because it was your duty
AdamBeWorkin: but it was because had you not done it
AdamBeWorkin: you would've had to explain yourself
AdamBeWorkin: so it's a lot easier to just lay there
AdamBeWorkin: He has come to expect something
AdamBeWorkin: and if you change that...
AdamBeWorkin: you'll have to talk
AdamBeWorkin: which right now? I understand
majoralaur: I guess...
AdamBeWorkin: I said to myself last night: "If she actually tells him the first moment she could..."
AdamBeWorkin: I'm hers forever
majoralaur: this really will not be easy...
AdamBeWorkin: no
AdamBeWorkin: but I am not expecting you to move heaven and earth for me
AdamBeWorkin: after us meeting 3 times
AdamBeWorkin: I will expect that after the 4th time
AdamBeWorkin: LOLOL
majoralaur: ;)
majoralaur: I just have to clear up any doubts I may have about you....
majoralaur: before I make such a drastic decision
AdamBeWorkin: of course
AdamBeWorkin: my only doubt
AdamBeWorkin: is what you do when you know
AdamBeWorkin: that's all
AdamBeWorkin: i dont know you well enough
AdamBeWorkin: to see how you've reacted in similar situations
AdamBeWorkin: do you have enough confidence in yourself to JUMP for something
AdamBeWorkin: when you could fall
AdamBeWorkin: conversely - I should make no difference in this decision
AdamBeWorkin: you end things because it's not right for you or him
majoralaur: I've never been in that situation..
majoralaur: I have no idea how I'll react..
AdamBeWorkin: right
majoralaur: I just have to have a 'back up' plan
AdamBeWorkin: on the other hand - if you've NEVER had this connection with someone
majoralaur: if he gets angry at me for breaking things off...
majoralaur: and kicks me out of somethin! lol
majoralaur: which...would more than likely happen
AdamBeWorkin: ?
majoralaur: u know..makes me leave our house
AdamBeWorkin: hmmmmmmm
AdamBeWorkin: where could you go?!!
AdamBeWorkin: i can't imagine
AdamBeWorkin: you just dont want to live in the hood
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: you need to see the place during the day
AdamBeWorkin: church - school
majoralaur: it's not bad...
AdamBeWorkin: it's actually nice
AdamBeWorkin: but it's not CALABASSAS
majoralaur: please, I grew up in north las vegas...now thats hood!
AdamBeWorkin: and you said you'd never do that again...
AdamBeWorkin: didn't you...
majoralaur: never say never
AdamBeWorkin: well realize this long term babe - i have every intention for that to be rental property
AdamBeWorkin: i'm making a LOT of money right now
AdamBeWorkin: so I will move on at some point
majoralaur: of course...
AdamBeWorkin: and it's the prefect rental property
majoralaur: but what about your ex's share of the split?
AdamBeWorkin: but we're off the subject here
AdamBeWorkin: what about it?
majoralaur: her name is on the house too, I assume?
AdamBeWorkin: of course
AdamBeWorkin: yeah it's 50%
majoralaur: so...?
AdamBeWorkin: so?
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: we both wanted to make it rental property
majoralaur: ahhh, ok...
AdamBeWorkin: yeah - we decided not to sell it when we got divorced
AdamBeWorkin: it was just worth too much
majoralaur: I see...
AdamBeWorkin: yeah we're both on title
AdamBeWorkin: neither person can screw the other
AdamBeWorkin: and we're friends
AdamBeWorkin: it was a pretty easy decision
majoralaur: that's good...
majoralaur: I dont know what would happen to our house'
majoralaur: if we split..
AdamBeWorkin: he makes more money i assume
AdamBeWorkin: right?
majoralaur: yes
majoralaur: but he did also say...after we first moved in...
majoralaur: and got in a HUGE fight...that if I left, he wouldnt want to live there anymore..
AdamBeWorkin: ?
majoralaur: he would sell
majoralaur: and we would split the sale, I guess
AdamBeWorkin: jesus - you really have been down this road haven't you
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: we got into the biggest fight EVER...like the 2nd day in the place
AdamBeWorkin: ahhhh love
majoralaur: isn't it beautiful?
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: well if I'm in your shoes
AdamBeWorkin: this is why you have to talk
majoralaur: but we HAVE...u dont understand!
AdamBeWorkin: because whether you realize it or not - you're lying to him
majoralaur: we have...and that was the last time
AdamBeWorkin: no i mean NOW
AdamBeWorkin: what you're doing now
majoralaur: that was just over 2 motnhs ago..
AdamBeWorkin: because if you talk now
AdamBeWorkin: you can be amicable
majoralaur: I don't want to live a lie....
AdamBeWorkin: but if this becomes a double-life for any length of time
AdamBeWorkin: right
AdamBeWorkin: you did last night though
AdamBeWorkin: didn't you?
AdamBeWorkin: instead of talking - and saying you weren't into it
AdamBeWorkin: you just held that in
AdamBeWorkin: and let him think everything was ok
AdamBeWorkin: which allows him to be in love with the idea of having a wife for a little bit longer
AdamBeWorkin: you there?
AdamBeWorkin: shit a co-worker just quit
AdamBeWorkin: please respond....
AdamBeWorkin: it'll give you time to catch up
AdamBeWorkin: brb
AdamBeWorkin: ??
AdamBeWorkin: ...
AdamBeWorkin: i think AIM is fucked up...
20 Minutes Later...
AdamBeWorkin: ...
majoralaur: hey...
AdamBeWorkin: ahh you live...
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: so anyway...
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
AdamBeWorkin: anyway
majoralaur: heh
AdamBeWorkin: i can finally talk now
AdamBeWorkin: although I know I am suuuuuuuuuuch an inCREDIBLE person
AdamBeWorkin: and you should fall to your knees when in my sight
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: I understand that this is extrememly new
AdamBeWorkin: and i fully understand you wanting to feel this
AdamBeWorkin: for a bit longer
AdamBeWorkin: hell - spend a day just sitting in a park talking
AdamBeWorkin: normal shit
AdamBeWorkin: just being...
AdamBeWorkin: and honestly - that's why
AdamBeWorkin: we're talking now
AdamBeWorkin: it's a give and take
AdamBeWorkin: just getting to know each other
AdamBeWorkin: I don't expect you to blow up a comfortable 5 year relationship
AdamBeWorkin: on a few days
AdamBeWorkin: but there's always a but isn't there?
AdamBeWorkin: that BUT
AdamBeWorkin: is
AdamBeWorkin: it is a double life
AdamBeWorkin: it is doing something with me, having a wonderful dday laughing and falling in love
AdamBeWorkin: and then being with him because it's what you're supposed to do
AdamBeWorkin: at some point - one of those lives has to end
AdamBeWorkin: something has to be shaken up
AdamBeWorkin: i would hope it isn't ours
AdamBeWorkin: but you may freak out
AdamBeWorkin: and just admit everything to him
AdamBeWorkin: say your sorry
AdamBeWorkin: and want to work it out
AdamBeWorkin: that's what she did
majoralaur: honestly...
AdamBeWorkin: but what's incredible - is even though someone did that to me
majoralaur: if I did admit...
majoralaur: I don't think he would be as forgiving
majoralaur: he would be angry, devastated...I dont even know...
AdamBeWorkin: would he be angrier if you kept it from him for weeks and acted like everything was cool?
AdamBeWorkin: and therein lies the rub
AdamBeWorkin: that's what makes this insanely difficult
AdamBeWorkin: but as i was saying - even though someone did that to me
majoralaur: yeah....
AdamBeWorkin: and you could at any moment call me and say "I never want to see you again"
AdamBeWorkin: there is something between us that tells me you know
AdamBeWorkin: the situation is different
AdamBeWorkin: you've been dealing with this with him for years
AdamBeWorkin: the timing is different
AdamBeWorkin: before I was fighting her, her family
AdamBeWorkin: her religion
AdamBeWorkin: it was insane
AdamBeWorkin: and on top of that - I was building her confidence up
AdamBeWorkin: daily
AdamBeWorkin: i don't feel that with you
majoralaur: why daily?
AdamBeWorkin: oh jesus she had the spine of an amoeba
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: never thought she was good enoguh
AdamBeWorkin: blah blah blah
AdamBeWorkin: it just never ended
majoralaur: too funny
AdamBeWorkin: no
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: not funny
majoralaur: I live with the EXACT opposite
AdamBeWorkin: yeah -but what are you?
majoralaur: too much confidence!!
majoralaur: me?
majoralaur: I know who I am
majoralaur: and I know what I want out of life....
AdamBeWorkin: which is why I'm not going anwyhere
AdamBeWorkin: I believe that
AdamBeWorkin: and I think you really just didnt belive these type of connections existed
AdamBeWorkin: you thought it was hollywood
AdamBeWorkin: heh
AdamBeWorkin: north hollywood
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: well tell me this - can we have Saturday?
AdamBeWorkin: (friday night too of course)
majoralaur: sorry babe, hold on a sec
AdamBeWorkin: np
majoralaur: k....
majoralaur: anyway...
AdamBeWorkin: so you have a second?
majoralaur: sure
AdamBeWorkin: uhm
AdamBeWorkin: well you kept asking what I was going to do
AdamBeWorkin: what do you want me to do?
AdamBeWorkin: not what do you think IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII want
majoralaur: I can't put ideas into your head....
majoralaur: ultimately, it is up to you...
majoralaur: I have never been 'involved' with a married man...ever
majoralaur: <that I know of!> lol
majoralaur: so...
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: I don't know the situation from your perspective
AdamBeWorkin: you're so beating around the bush here
AdamBeWorkin: what do you WANT me to do
AdamBeWorkin: be open
AdamBeWorkin: yell
AdamBeWorkin: say your feelings
AdamBeWorkin: it's the only thing i can hold onto
AdamBeWorkin: here - i'll start
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: and SEE that
majoralaur: yes, I agree....
AdamBeWorkin: your turn
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: oh yes and - I LOVE HOW I FEEL WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME
AdamBeWorkin: ahem
AdamBeWorkin: go ahead
majoralaur: heheh
majoralaur: in all CAPS?
majoralaur: ;)
majoralaur: I can say this much....I really, really feel strongly about you
majoralaur: I think you know this
majoralaur: I picture so much about you
majoralaur: it's been like the most intense 4 days of my life!
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: and we have barely scratched the surface
AdamBeWorkin: i know - it blows me away
AdamBeWorkin: there's so much you don't know
AdamBeWorkin: that murder in texas for example
majoralaur: ???
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: hehe
majoralaur: knew I recognized your face from somewhere...
AdamBeWorkin: right
AdamBeWorkin: heh
majoralaur: didnt think it was Americas Most Wanted though
majoralaur: but, yes...
AdamBeWorkin: so I'm going to try to get you to ante up a full Saturday
AdamBeWorkin: damn i cut you off from saying something nice about me
AdamBeWorkin: damnti
majoralaur: heh
majoralaur: :)
majoralaur: anyway...I just cant' wait to see you again!
AdamBeWorkin: btw - other than the physical
AdamBeWorkin: what is so intense?
AdamBeWorkin: the thought that I might be real?
AdamBeWorkin: the future possibilities?
majoralaur: the physical is so unreal...yes...
majoralaur: the way you touch me...
AdamBeWorkin: really?
majoralaur: and look at me
majoralaur: oh yes
AdamBeWorkin: not to fish for the compliments - but wow
AdamBeWorkin: i dont even think about it
majoralaur: i'm serious...
majoralaur: you have sooooo much passion in you
majoralaur: and it all just comes out
AdamBeWorkin: whew
majoralaur: passion for life...for everything...
AdamBeWorkin: well when i touch you it's all you babe
AdamBeWorkin: because I'm not even aware of it
AdamBeWorkin: i'm just letting go
AdamBeWorkin: if you feel that...wow
AdamBeWorkin: you gave me chills babe
majoralaur: how when you layed on top of me on your bed...
majoralaur: and held your hand around my throat..
majoralaur: damn!
majoralaur: hehe
AdamBeWorkin: mmmmmmmmmmmmm
AdamBeWorkin: you just transferred blood to a region of my body
AdamBeWorkin: by hitting enter on your keyboard
majoralaur: oops!
majoralaur: hehehehe
majoralaur: and even when u grabbed me by my hair...
majoralaur: and pulled my head back...everything was so
majoralaur: damn
majoralaur: passionate!
AdamBeWorkin: you've really never felt that?
AdamBeWorkin: i mean really?
majoralaur: I thought I had before
majoralaur: but not quite like this!
AdamBeWorkin: but it's more than the physical though...right?
majoralaur: oooh yes...
majoralaur: u can just stare at me
majoralaur: without touching
majoralaur: and it feels unbelievable
AdamBeWorkin: all true
AdamBeWorkin: but my intensity over the past 4 years
AdamBeWorkin: errrrrrrrrr
AdamBeWorkin: 4 days
AdamBeWorkin: is over what this all means
AdamBeWorkin: and the future i envision
majoralaur: I know...
majoralaur: like I told you many times...
majoralaur: I just want to make sure...
AdamBeWorkin: i know
AdamBeWorkin: i just hope you can know
majoralaur: make sure it isn't just a fleeting moment of passsion
AdamBeWorkin: with my hands tied around my back
AdamBeWorkin: (no sexual reference there)
AdamBeWorkin: if we were dating right now, with nobody else in the picture
AdamBeWorkin: this would be sooooooo obvious
AdamBeWorkin: anywawy - blah blah blah
AdamBeWorkin: saturday
AdamBeWorkin: what's happenning saturday
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: there's a place close by that we can go
majoralaur: where?
AdamBeWorkin: uhm
AdamBeWorkin: for
majoralaur: what kinda place?
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: how do i type this
AdamBeWorkin: you didn't want to look it up on the internet
AdamBeWorkin: remember?
AdamBeWorkin: and there's no needles
majoralaur: ooooh
AdamBeWorkin: riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight
majoralaur: where, in the valley?
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
majoralaur: urine test?
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: no
AdamBeWorkin: cotton swab thingee
AdamBeWorkin: not the most romantic thing in the world to do
majoralaur: oooooh...
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: but...
AdamBeWorkin: i know you really want that
majoralaur: necessary...
AdamBeWorkin: right
majoralaur: how long does it take
majoralaur: to get results?
AdamBeWorkin: probably like 5 minutes
AdamBeWorkin: oh
AdamBeWorkin: a week
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
AdamBeWorkin: sucks doesn't it?
majoralaur: k...
majoralaur: but...
majoralaur: why so "anti-condom"?
AdamBeWorkin: i'm not
AdamBeWorkin: for you?
majoralaur: yeah...
AdamBeWorkin: i want it to be the most amazing moment of your life
AdamBeWorkin: i want you to have no doubts in your mind
AdamBeWorkin: and feel me
AdamBeWorkin: look in my eyes
AdamBeWorkin: and know
AdamBeWorkin: and a banana in a latex glove
AdamBeWorkin: doesn't fit with that image babe
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: i'd rather wait - prove it to you
AdamBeWorkin: and then make love to you
AdamBeWorkin: i have nothing to hide
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: and i think once you know that...it will make the moment the most incredible moment of your life
majoralaur: but...
majoralaur: "banana in a glove" hahaha
majoralaur: sorry
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: laughing
AdamBeWorkin: but...
majoralaur: what if...
majoralaur: I got ahold of some condoms this week...
majoralaur: ;)
majoralaur: would u be against it still?
AdamBeWorkin: major i can afford condoms
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: hehe
majoralaur: just saying..
AdamBeWorkin: here we go AGAIN
majoralaur: no, no, no..........
majoralaur: not like that!!!
AdamBeWorkin: i know
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: waiting a week to be with you...hard...
majoralaur: so...
majoralaur: just sayin'...
AdamBeWorkin: i'd rather lay with you all night
AdamBeWorkin: yes - i want to fuck you more than you can possibly imagine
majoralaur: but...you'd say....
AdamBeWorkin: but i also want you to not freak out about going down on me
majoralaur: no?
majoralaur: yeah, well..
AdamBeWorkin: are you gonna blow a condom?
AdamBeWorkin: no
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: heh
AdamBeWorkin: i dont want you to have any reservations
majoralaur: the blowing part...of course couldnt happen just yet...
majoralaur: but the other...
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: well you had no problem with me doing it to you!
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: I knooooooooooooow!
majoralaur: not the smartest thing in the world
majoralaur: I could have done
majoralaur: for all I know about you...
AdamBeWorkin: but it's done
majoralaur: k, I have to go now...
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: when shall we continue this
majoralaur: be back in a few...
AdamBeWorkin: because this is the most fun we've had in awhile
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: heheh
majoralaur: I'll IM you
AdamBeWorkin: 3ish?
AdamBeWorkin: k
majoralaur: yeah
AdamBeWorkin: i'll be here
AdamBeWorkin: eating in today
AdamBeWorkin: as opposed to...
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Around 3:15 pm...
majoralaur: whatcha doin'?
AdamBeWorkin: waiting for you to say somethin cute
majoralaur: awwww....
More work shit...
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: in fact i was about to LEAVE work right now
AdamBeWorkin: but was waiting to talk to you
majoralaur: ooh really?
majoralaur: well..IM me from home
majoralaur: if u really have to leave...
AdamBeWorkin: no i dont have to
AdamBeWorkin: just figured i'd stay
AdamBeWorkin: knowing you were jumping on
AdamBeWorkin: you're slightly addicting you know
majoralaur: so silly...
majoralaur: <blushing>
majoralaur: so, enough about work....
AdamBeWorkin: right - how about them dodgers
majoralaur: hehe
majoralaur: how 'bout 'em?
AdamBeWorkin: dont know
AdamBeWorkin: hate baseball
majoralaur: same!
AdamBeWorkin: seemed the thing to say in LA
majoralaur: cant; stand watching it!
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
majoralaur: I'm a soccer fan mostly...
AdamBeWorkin: going to the games can be fun
majoralaur: I went to a yankee game in NY
AdamBeWorkin: yeah - the food is fun
majoralaur: mostly fun because the fans were WILD!
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
AdamBeWorkin: that too
majoralaur: fukken New Yawkers
majoralaur: so...
majoralaur: enough baseball talk
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: talk to me babe
AdamBeWorkin: what's on your mind
majoralaur: what were we discussing
majoralaur: before we signed off last?
AdamBeWorkin: our plans
AdamBeWorkin: well
AdamBeWorkin: actually deeper stuff
majoralaur: 'deeper'?
AdamBeWorkin: but can you stay with me friday?
majoralaur: as in...?
AdamBeWorkin: (gulp)
AdamBeWorkin: been wanting to ask you that for days now
majoralaur: stay...the night?
AdamBeWorkin: yeah...
AdamBeWorkin: (sigh)
majoralaur: ummmm....
majoralaur: kind of awkward
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: tell me what you're thinking?
majoralaur: I mean, shit, when I went home saturday it was practically already sunday
AdamBeWorkin: you need to learn to just say shit babe
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: if you have reservations
AdamBeWorkin: say why
majoralaur: but...
AdamBeWorkin: it's not gonna hurt me
majoralaur: ...we'll see?
AdamBeWorkin: now that's a salesman
AdamBeWorkin: ;-)
AdamBeWorkin: nicely done
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: hahahahaha
AdamBeWorkin: i'm actually laughing outloud
majoralaur: that amusing??
AdamBeWorkin: yes
majoralaur: heh
AdamBeWorkin: k
AdamBeWorkin: well either way
AdamBeWorkin: what are your plans for the weekend?
majoralaur: not much...just dinner friday night
AdamBeWorkin: stuff you already have set...
AdamBeWorkin: k
majoralaur: somewhere in hollywood
AdamBeWorkin: because it's not that I want to plan something
AdamBeWorkin: but i HATE the clock
majoralaur: saturday afternoon...go hiking with my neighbor
AdamBeWorkin: (sigh)
majoralaur: I know
majoralaur: that's pretty much it...
AdamBeWorkin: can you move the "hike" to sunday?
majoralaur: ummmm...I can see...
majoralaur: shouldnt be a big deal
AdamBeWorkin: my point is - i want a day to just BE...
majoralaur: I know...
majoralaur: and find out if you really like me?
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: no - so you can see me
AdamBeWorkin: and can fall in love with me
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: or if it's just the boobs!
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: that was the hardest part of what happened 7 years ago
AdamBeWorkin: it was so nerve racking
AdamBeWorkin: to feel like I was on stage
AdamBeWorkin: trying to show her all of this
AdamBeWorkin: against a clock
majoralaur: of course...
AdamBeWorkin: because she had to be somewhere
AdamBeWorkin: or he'd know this
AdamBeWorkin: or he'd...
majoralaur: exactly
AdamBeWorkin: and I couldn't just relax
AdamBeWorkin: and hold her hand
majoralaur: will it bother you...
majoralaur: if I have to reach away...
majoralaur: to answer the phone when he calls?
AdamBeWorkin: no
AdamBeWorkin: i understand that
AdamBeWorkin: though you have a pretty busy phone though
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: it is what it is
AdamBeWorkin: you have to want this to though
majoralaur: not really!
AdamBeWorkin: this has to be driving you crazy
majoralaur: of course it is....
AdamBeWorkin: from your perspective - don't you want to be just "normal" with me
AdamBeWorkin: just to see?
majoralaur: of course!
AdamBeWorkin: i've followed my heart my whole life
AdamBeWorkin: so it's nothing new to me
AdamBeWorkin: it's just so STRONG with you
AdamBeWorkin: that i'm so excited I can't concentrate
AdamBeWorkin: the possibilities with us are endless
majoralaur: hehehe
majoralaur: there is still so much to be explored...
AdamBeWorkin: i know
majoralaur: but unfortunatly...
majoralaur: my time spent with you must be limited...for now...
AdamBeWorkin: because...
majoralaur: and believe me. that sucks more than anything...
majoralaur: only because when he comes back..
majoralaur: obviously, I will be going home to see him after work
AdamBeWorkin: no i understand that
AdamBeWorkin: but when you have free time
AdamBeWorkin: please...don't waste it
majoralaur: any free time I have...
majoralaur: of course not
AdamBeWorkin: i won't either
AdamBeWorkin: you've got my word on that
AdamBeWorkin: if there's any possibility of seeing each other - i will make it happen
majoralaur: so...I take it..no big plans this weekend?
AdamBeWorkin: yeah I'm seeing this incredible woman
AdamBeWorkin: i have a picture wanna see?
AdamBeWorkin: heh
majoralaur: oooh...
majoralaur: sure
majoralaur: ;)
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: and i've been thinking about it...
majoralaur: yes?
AdamBeWorkin: if you really want
AdamBeWorkin: i will have the condoms
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: ...
majoralaur: ...
majoralaur: hehe
majoralaur: thats cool...
majoralaur: we'll just take things as they happen
AdamBeWorkin: no see we cant
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: i have to either get them or not
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: i just want it to be perfect
majoralaur: well, maybe u could get in and keep 'em around for...well, u never know!
majoralaur: ;)
majoralaur: *get them
AdamBeWorkin: oh - so you're just coming by Friday night to talk?
AdamBeWorkin: good, good to know
majoralaur: of course...
majoralaur: 'just to talk'
AdamBeWorkin: well dont eat too much
AdamBeWorkin: because...
AdamBeWorkin: well...
AdamBeWorkin: it's hard to...
majoralaur: well?
AdamBeWorkin: talk
AdamBeWorkin: on a full stomach
AdamBeWorkin: heh
majoralaur: :)
majoralaur: hehehe
majoralaur: that is true...
AdamBeWorkin: so back to how amazing i am and how i touch you
AdamBeWorkin: like you've never been touched
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: so when you're alone...
majoralaur: what do u think about...
majoralaur: with me?
AdamBeWorkin: being inside you
AdamBeWorkin: watching your eyes as you feel me
AdamBeWorkin: feeling you shake
AdamBeWorkin: as i move so slow...
majoralaur: <I feel like I should be paying for this conversation>
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: exactly
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: man you so fucked up the moment
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: kinda the IM equivalent to a 1-900 #
AdamBeWorkin: i lost my train of thought
majoralaur: hee hee sorry!
AdamBeWorkin: and what do you think of when you're alone?
majoralaur: brb
AdamBeWorkin: classic
majoralaur: <boss on other line>
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: kinda hard to talk about him when my mind is NOT on proposals
majoralaur: *to him
AdamBeWorkin: take your time
majoralaur: done - finito
majoralaur: anyway....
AdamBeWorkin: work cums first
AdamBeWorkin: errr
AdamBeWorkin: sorry
AdamBeWorkin: heh
majoralaur: hahah
majoralaur: STOP!
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: god tasting you is the biggest turn-on ever
majoralaur: ;)
majoralaur: really?
AdamBeWorkin: oh you didn't figure that out?
majoralaur: and um..please dont think i'm always 'like that'...
AdamBeWorkin: like what?
majoralaur: my waxing chick
majoralaur: has been out of town
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: bwahahahaha
AdamBeWorkin: yeah mine too
majoralaur: and she made me PROMISE I wouldnt shave
majoralaur: 'till she gets back
majoralaur: heheheh
AdamBeWorkin: i could care less
majoralaur: just sayin'...
majoralaur: now that thats out of the way
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: well when I look at you
majoralaur: I see her Friday, btw
majoralaur: hehe
AdamBeWorkin: it feels like I'm physically affecting you
AdamBeWorkin: effect? or affect?
AdamBeWorkin: hmmm
AdamBeWorkin: affect
majoralaur: yes yes...
AdamBeWorkin: anyway
majoralaur: go on...
AdamBeWorkin: ha
AdamBeWorkin: you owe me SO much IM after this
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: hahahaha
majoralaur: please continue...
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: and when I'm tasting you like that
AdamBeWorkin: i can feel and taste the effect i have on you
AdamBeWorkin: it's just as it is looking in your eyes
AdamBeWorkin: it's a connection
majoralaur: mmmmmm
AdamBeWorkin: everything we DO seems connected
AdamBeWorkin: every hug
AdamBeWorkin: touch
AdamBeWorkin: all of it
majoralaur: yes...
AdamBeWorkin: whatever the other person does
majoralaur: k, you're making me think dirty thought here...
AdamBeWorkin: seems to physically change one another
majoralaur: and i'm at work!!
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: i can be there in 45 minutes
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: hehehe
majoralaur: giving me a tingly feeling...
majoralaur: down below
majoralaur: anyways...bout them dodgers...
AdamBeWorkin: hell no
AdamBeWorkin: get back up there
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: so have you thought of me yet?
majoralaur: of course...
AdamBeWorkin: other than last night (which Im sure really sucked)
majoralaur: I have pictured you many times
majoralaur: last night? lol
AdamBeWorkin: well i know things had to be racing in and out of your mind
AdamBeWorkin: that's a horrible situation to be in
majoralaur: man...
majoralaur: don't really want to think about that right now
AdamBeWorkin: i know
AdamBeWorkin: so you've pictured me....
AdamBeWorkin: during?
AdamBeWorkin: solo sessions mind you?
majoralaur: hehe
AdamBeWorkin: ...
majoralaur: sorry babe, just a sex
majoralaur: oops *sec!
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: c and x actually are close on the keyboard
majoralaur: next to each other!!!
majoralaur: sorry...
majoralaur: damn work!
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: np
AdamBeWorkin: so...
majoralaur: so..
AdamBeWorkin: have you masturbated thinking about me, if so what was it you were thinking about
AdamBeWorkin: LOL
majoralaur: let's just get to the point here...shall we?
majoralaur: ;)
majoralaur: last night....as I closed me eyes to go to bed...
AdamBeWorkin: <as she furiously closes her IM box before someone sees>
majoralaur: hahahaha
majoralaur: I do gotta watch my back now!
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: so continue...
majoralaur: closed *my eyes...
majoralaur: I pictured you laying beside me
majoralaur: playing with my hair
majoralaur: and rubbing my body...
majoralaur: and your hand slowly moved from my breasts to...
majoralaur: my stomach....
majoralaur: down every inch of my body...
majoralaur: u there?
AdamBeWorkin: YEAH
majoralaur: ;)
majoralaur: and...
majoralaur: you held me close
majoralaur: and held your face next to mine
majoralaur: as kissed me...so intensely..
majoralaur: one hand grabbing my face...
majoralaur: the other...
majoralaur: making me wet...
AdamBeWorkin: godddddddddddamn
majoralaur: seriouslllllllllllly....
majoralaur: I got soooo fukken horny last night
majoralaur: thinking of you
AdamBeWorkin: you have no idea what this weekend will bring
majoralaur: so give me a taste...of what to expect
AdamBeWorkin: you have to be the most sensual...hottest fucking woman on the planet
AdamBeWorkin: the fact that I'm touching you in ways you've never felt...
AdamBeWorkin: is the most unbelieveably amazing feeling
majoralaur: mmmmmm
AdamBeWorkin: and vice versa
AdamBeWorkin: please know what you do to me
majoralaur: damn ,we should really change the subject now!
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: mind is getting clouded...
AdamBeWorkin: fuck it
majoralaur: by random dirty thoughts
AdamBeWorkin: this is a banner day here at <not saying where i work on 4tvs.com>
majoralaur: hehe
majoralaur: banner day?
majoralaur: hahahah
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
AdamBeWorkin: i have a hard-on
AdamBeWorkin: if they could promise this everyday
AdamBeWorkin: i'd stay 14 hours a day
majoralaur: hahahah
majoralaur: what a job 'perk'
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: really
AdamBeWorkin: man i miss you
AdamBeWorkin: i feel like i haven't seen you in forever
AdamBeWorkin: it's only been 2 days
majoralaur: I know...
AdamBeWorkin: and although - yes i want to make you feel all of these things
majoralaur: I can't wait to look into your eyes again...
AdamBeWorkin: i just want to hold you
AdamBeWorkin: i want to lay with you
AdamBeWorkin: and let you feel that comfort
AdamBeWorkin: and security
majoralaur: will you sing that song for me...?
majoralaur: this weekend?
AdamBeWorkin: the eyes one?
majoralaur: yeah
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
majoralaur: the one u just did
AdamBeWorkin: there's actually 2 more
AdamBeWorkin: the one i wrote the very first night
AdamBeWorkin: and a new slightly more fun one
majoralaur: 'more fun'??
AdamBeWorkin: but i'll sing for you all night
majoralaur: hehe
AdamBeWorkin: well not so overly dramatic and intense
majoralaur: it's all good...
majoralaur: like I said...
majoralaur: one of the biggest turnons about you
majoralaur: is your passion!
AdamBeWorkin: it's the only way to live your life
AdamBeWorkin: GOD I want to see you in a year
AdamBeWorkin: seriously - you just can't imagine what your outlook on life is
AdamBeWorkin: when... things are aligned
AdamBeWorkin: when your direction is clear
AdamBeWorkin: i can't say my direction is obvious
AdamBeWorkin: but i know i move forward
AdamBeWorkin: always
AdamBeWorkin: and i'm soooooooooo honest with my feelings
AdamBeWorkin: and it changes your life
AdamBeWorkin: as far as the singing and writing - that's just being able to knock down the walls
AdamBeWorkin: enough - to allow that to flow
majoralaur: yes...I see...
AdamBeWorkin: and being so in touch - the song writes itself
majoralaur: mmmmm
AdamBeWorkin: and like that last song
AdamBeWorkin: you still have that link?
AdamBeWorkin: that's ad-libbed
AdamBeWorkin: i just sang that moment
AdamBeWorkin: right before work
AdamBeWorkin: it's not even a complete song
majoralaur: thats crazy...
AdamBeWorkin: but that's the point... that's why you feel it
AdamBeWorkin: because you "Get it"
majoralaur: I cant play it again right now, but...
majoralaur: what were some of the lyrics again?
AdamBeWorkin: hell - that whole thing might as well be from your persepctive
AdamBeWorkin: how do you look into me?
AdamBeWorkin: how can this happen to me...
AdamBeWorkin: i am scared of what i feel
AdamBeWorkin: i cannot believe you're real
AdamBeWorkin: so how do you look IN to me?
AdamBeWorkin: pretty simple
AdamBeWorkin: but it's just me (and you probably) saying WHAT THE FUCK
AdamBeWorkin: just a little more poetically
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: babe i'm in touch with my shit pretty deeply, and I'm still amazed someone can look at me like you do
majoralaur: I can't help myself
AdamBeWorkin: i can only imagine what you're thinking
AdamBeWorkin: i know
AdamBeWorkin: when we're together...we just know
AdamBeWorkin: it's crazy
AdamBeWorkin: i really hope you see that
majoralaur: I just hope this feeling lasts....
majoralaur: for a very long time!
majoralaur: very very vry very
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: this wont end
AdamBeWorkin: unless you make it end
AdamBeWorkin: this isn't lust
majoralaur: with lust...
majoralaur: I wouldnt have the need to stare into your eyes
majoralaur: for hours on end...
AdamBeWorkin: unless you had an eye fetish...no
majoralaur: well, I suppose...
majoralaur: but thats not the case
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: yeah babe - this is more than obvious to me
AdamBeWorkin: it'll take a bit more time for you
AdamBeWorkin: i understand
majoralaur: you make me smile sooooo damn much!
AdamBeWorkin: but this is incredible
majoralaur: it's crazy
AdamBeWorkin: good
majoralaur: just thinking about you
majoralaur: makes me smile
majoralaur: I want to see you tonight...
majoralaur: even if just for a moment
AdamBeWorkin: ooooooook
AdamBeWorkin: jesus
majoralaur: before I go home...
AdamBeWorkin: i'll leave now
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: can you?
AdamBeWorkin: for you?
AdamBeWorkin: are you kidding
AdamBeWorkin: it's 100% commission
AdamBeWorkin: so i miss a sale
AdamBeWorkin: WHERE DO I GO
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: ummmm, I couldnt stay long....
AdamBeWorkin: i know
majoralaur: but
AdamBeWorkin: i miss you so much
majoralaur: just long enough
majoralaur: same here......!!!
AdamBeWorkin: you know there's secret ways to get to the valley
AdamBeWorkin: really quick
AdamBeWorkin: but what are you thinking
majoralaur: secret ways?
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: from here?
AdamBeWorkin: meaning if you were thinking of coming up to my house
AdamBeWorkin: there's faster ways
AdamBeWorkin: if you were thinking of just meeting somewhere on your route
AdamBeWorkin: that's cool too
AdamBeWorkin: if you have to workout - then you might as well just go home the normal way
AdamBeWorkin: andi'll meet you somewhere
AdamBeWorkin: if you wanted to skip that
AdamBeWorkin: there are ways to get here
AdamBeWorkin: that would be 20-30 minutes tops
majoralaur: well...
majoralaur: I will be hitting the gym tonight...<have to!>
majoralaur: so..leave here by 7:15-7:20ish
AdamBeWorkin: k
majoralaur: pray traffic isnt too bad
AdamBeWorkin: btw - i love you for that
AdamBeWorkin: errr
majoralaur: for what?
AdamBeWorkin: the gym
majoralaur: man...
majoralaur: I have to go!
majoralaur: I feel like a lazy fukken ass if I dont
AdamBeWorkin: you can't explain that to someone
AdamBeWorkin: you just cant
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: if someoen won't wrokout
AdamBeWorkin: they dont get it
majoralaur: it's a way of life now...
AdamBeWorkin: and it's hard enough
AdamBeWorkin: but when someone pulls you away from it
majoralaur: it's so important to feeling good about yourself
AdamBeWorkin: it's SOOOO hard
AdamBeWorkin: agreed
majoralaur: I can't imagine...
majoralaur: so..
AdamBeWorkin: so do you want to meet at the same place as Monday? to talk?
AdamBeWorkin: coffee?
AdamBeWorkin: or is that too weirD?
majoralaur: hmmmm
AdamBeWorkin: it's just RIGHT off the highway
AdamBeWorkin: you can get home SO fast from there
majoralaur: it is close
majoralaur: but I want somewhere where I can be alone with you
AdamBeWorkin: i know it ain't too classy
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: just to hug you
AdamBeWorkin: uhm
majoralaur: even if only for 10 minutes
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: 'classy'
AdamBeWorkin: you are such a classy woman babe
AdamBeWorkin: you don't deserve to be taken to DENNYs
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: thanks ;)
majoralaur: hehe
AdamBeWorkin: but denny's can be pretty damn good at 2 am
AdamBeWorkin: do you want to meet me at home?
majoralaur: kinda
majoralaur: out
majoralaur: of
majoralaur: the
majoralaur: way
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: i know
AdamBeWorkin: so where can we be alone?
AdamBeWorkin: we are SOOOOO 15 right now
majoralaur: I dont even know...
majoralaur: hahahah
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: we really are
majoralaur: this is hilarious
AdamBeWorkin: yeah - a laugh riot it is
AdamBeWorkin: heh
AdamBeWorkin: your call babe
majoralaur: or...
AdamBeWorkin: gimme your address
majoralaur: do u want to just wait
AdamBeWorkin: let me find some ways
majoralaur: till friday?
AdamBeWorkin: look up
majoralaur: hehe
AdamBeWorkin: no
majoralaur: ok, ok...
AdamBeWorkin: what's your address you're coming from?
majoralaur: 12000 W Olympic <incorrect address for 4tvs.com>
majoralaur: LA 90064
AdamBeWorkin: http://maps.yahoo.com/dd_result?ed=SDqVXeV.winO4mIIaZuu2YXhuVmPMry41kSXL.nLyOx7FabWWUNCU3NlPcfu175rra0NrVP.&csz=Los+Angeles%2C+CA+90064-1048&country=us&tcsz=North+Hollywood%2C+CA+91606-1041&tcountry=us
AdamBeWorkin: it's not that bad
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: temptin'
majoralaur: but...
majoralaur: maybe
majoralaur: we should just wait...
majoralaur: no clocks friday
AdamBeWorkin: major
majoralaur: :(
AdamBeWorkin: let's at least meet for coffee
AdamBeWorkin: there's no reason to not spend 10 minutes together
AdamBeWorkin: ...
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: brb
AdamBeWorkin: ?
majoralaur: boss just crept up on me!
majoralaur: had to close the box all quick!
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: sorry
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: np
AdamBeWorkin: but let's meet even for a moment
majoralaur: k...where?
majoralaur: somewhere off 101
AdamBeWorkin: k
majoralaur: somewhere in sherman oaks
majoralaur: <thinking>
AdamBeWorkin: wait
AdamBeWorkin: that's the wrong way
majoralaur: not for me!
AdamBeWorkin: yeah babe
majoralaur: I pass thru SO
majoralaur: to get home
AdamBeWorkin: oh sherman oaks - that way
AdamBeWorkin: the only problem
majoralaur: ??
majoralaur: yes?
AdamBeWorkin: and i checked EVERy damn exit
AdamBeWorkin: is nothing is right off the highway
AdamBeWorkin: you have to get off the 101
AdamBeWorkin: turn left
majoralaur: hmmmm
AdamBeWorkin: then go on ventura for awhile
majoralaur: <thinking>
AdamBeWorkin: that was what was nice about denny's
AdamBeWorkin: had you not screwed up
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: it's RIGHT off the highway
AdamBeWorkin: and RIGHT back on
majoralaur: oops!
majoralaur: dennys...
majoralaur: so conviently located next to...
majoralaur: hahaha
AdamBeWorkin: ?
majoralaur: nothing
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: oh the hotel
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: we could do dennys again...
AdamBeWorkin: you thought that
AdamBeWorkin: not me
majoralaur: just tell me how to get back on the 101
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: ?
majoralaur: the easy way
AdamBeWorkin: it's RIGHT there
AdamBeWorkin: that's what i was trying to tell you
AdamBeWorkin: you get on right there
majoralaur: well, I kinda missed that exit
AdamBeWorkin: and then it takes you right to the 101
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
AdamBeWorkin: stay ON the 405
AdamBeWorkin: past the 101
AdamBeWorkin: the first exit is burbank
AdamBeWorkin: voila
majoralaur: yes...
majoralaur: I know exactly
AdamBeWorkin: then get back on at burbank
majoralaur: k
AdamBeWorkin: and your first sign is back to the 101
AdamBeWorkin: but if that's not COOOOOOOOL enough for you
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: i can go drive around right now
majoralaur: never 'cool' enough for me
majoralaur: ')
AdamBeWorkin: and find something for you
majoralaur: oops
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: add a nose
AdamBeWorkin: will you add a damn nose
majoralaur: no nose!!
AdamBeWorkin: but it doesn't WORK otherwise!!!
AdamBeWorkin: ;)
majoralaur: smileys dont have 'em! u know that!
AdamBeWorkin: that doesn't work
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: ;-)
AdamBeWorkin: to make the emoticon you have to add the dash
AdamBeWorkin: please for the love of GOD just ONCE
AdamBeWorkin: add the DASH
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: u didnt do it!!!
AdamBeWorkin: i did!
majoralaur: so why should i?!?!?
majoralaur: NO!!
AdamBeWorkin: you don't see it?
majoralaur: I see NO NOSE!
AdamBeWorkin: wait wait
AdamBeWorkin: do you see a yellow face here ;)
majoralaur: your smiley looks EXACTLY like mine
majoralaur: dork!
majoralaur: yes
AdamBeWorkin: oh
AdamBeWorkin: wait
AdamBeWorkin: it's an AIM thing
majoralaur: must have a newer version
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
AdamBeWorkin: whew
majoralaur: hehe
AdamBeWorkin: glad we cleared that up
majoralaur: yes, FINALLY!
AdamBeWorkin: because when you make your smiley
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: it just looks like the parenthesis
majoralaur: what??
AdamBeWorkin: and the semicolon
majoralaur: thats weird
AdamBeWorkin: yeah!
AdamBeWorkin: on my end
majoralaur: serious?
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
majoralaur: it shows up as a face
AdamBeWorkin: you have to add a dash
majoralaur: on my end
AdamBeWorkin: for it to show up as a face
majoralaur: weird
AdamBeWorkin: seriously try it once for me
AdamBeWorkin: ; - )
AdamBeWorkin: like that
majoralaur: u must have thought I was retarded
AdamBeWorkin: without spaces
majoralaur: for the longest
majoralaur: hahaha
AdamBeWorkin: i was having some concerns yes
majoralaur: ;-)
majoralaur: haha
majoralaur: did it show???
AdamBeWorkin: that's it
AdamBeWorkin: LOLOLOL
majoralaur: it did!?!?!
AdamBeWorkin: i'm so laughing now
AdamBeWorkin: hahahaha
majoralaur: so now I know
majoralaur: lmao
majoralaur: ;-)
AdamBeWorkin: she isn't retarded
AdamBeWorkin: i can strike that from my list
AdamBeWorkin: you're closer to being my dream woman now
majoralaur: yes...check one
majoralaur: heheh
AdamBeWorkin: whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhew
majoralaur: hehehe
majoralaur: so, now that we've agreed on that...
majoralaur: time-wise tonight?
majoralaur: 7:45 ish?
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
AdamBeWorkin: want me to order you something?
AdamBeWorkin: coffee?
majoralaur: nahhh...
majoralaur: i'm cool
AdamBeWorkin: well then (sigh)
AdamBeWorkin: let's just meet at some PARK
AdamBeWorkin: lol
majoralaur: hehe
AdamBeWorkin: if you want i'll just sit in the car with ya
AdamBeWorkin: i dont want you to be all awkward
majoralaur: thats completely cool...
majoralaur: we can do that
AdamBeWorkin: (translation) yes, i will be very awkward with people around
AdamBeWorkin: let's please sit in the car
majoralaur: lol
majoralaur: nooooooooooo
AdamBeWorkin: there's something about licking a coffee cup while looking at you that's pretty hot
majoralaur: hehehe
majoralaur: must be some good coffee
majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: no it's just a acceptable way to lick something in public
AdamBeWorkin: as opposed to jumping under the table
majoralaur: Addddddam!!
AdamBeWorkin: man - some of the things i'm going to do to you...
AdamBeWorkin: hahaha
majoralaur: now I should be worried....
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: no i just mean in the future
AdamBeWorkin: being in public places
majoralaur: k, well i'm gonna finish up work here
majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: where we can't really do anything
majoralaur: i'll call u when I leave
AdamBeWorkin: but just teasing each other
AdamBeWorkin: alright babe
AdamBeWorkin: i'll meet you there
majoralaur: forgive me sweaty self again tonight
AdamBeWorkin: can't wait
majoralaur: *my
AdamBeWorkin: thank you for making this happen
AdamBeWorkin: i know it's hard
majoralaur: k....see you soon...
AdamBeWorkin: bye
majoralaur: yes, but it's worth it
majoralaur: bye babe
AdamBeWorkin: ;-)

I must admit though – this is Palaur on speed. All the ups and downs plus she’s already had sex with him after us – so that pretty much makes us jump to week 7 of the first one. At least I’m not dragging it out. We met at the Denny’s parking lot again and just sat there. Unbelieveable as usual. I must again reiterate for the 73rd time that I have never looked at someone and felt like this ever. It is inexplicable. I tell you it’s the one difference between Palaur and this that makes me feel she can’t possibly ignore it the way Laura ended up doing. Time, time, time. So we spent are 20 minutes talking and staring and she was off.
The following morning (almost done with the entry I swear):

Majoralaur: hey!

AdamBeWorkin: hey!
Majoralaur: :)
Majoralaur: sorry...crazy morning
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
AdamBeWorkin: same here
Majoralaur: sooo busy!
AdamBeWorkin: one of the team leads walked out
AdamBeWorkin: i love this job
Majoralaur: then my boss is stressing..
AdamBeWorkin: it's so fun
Majoralaur: another one?
Majoralaur: ha
AdamBeWorkin: no this is a biggie
AdamBeWorkin: the LOs come and go like a revolving door
AdamBeWorkin: this was a big one
Majoralaur: geez...
Majoralaur: kinda sounds like my office!
Majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: drama drama drama
AdamBeWorkin: just what i need
Majoralaur: more drama?
AdamBeWorkin: everyone's whisperin
AdamBeWorkin: it's fun
AdamBeWorkin: so what's your time frame?
Majoralaur: I honestly don't know today...
Majoralaur: things are crazy!
AdamBeWorkin: well at some point a woman has to eat
AdamBeWorkin: but take care of your shit
AdamBeWorkin: just lemme know
Majoralaur: for sure...
Majoralaur: sometimes I just end up eating fast at my desk...
Majoralaur: looks like one of those days....ehhhhh
Majoralaur: ...
AdamBeWorkin: ...
AdamBeWorkin: running around the building
AdamBeWorkin: busy day for me too
Majoralaur: well, IM me back when you're not so busy...
AdamBeWorkin: i'm not so busy!
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Majoralaur: oooh, and a symbol not to respond to an IM?
Majoralaur: $$$
Majoralaur: 3 money signs
AdamBeWorkin: very good
Majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: seriously - i have no trouble driving down there for a 20 minute bite
AdamBeWorkin: i really dont
Majoralaur: I wouldnt want to to drive alll the way here...
Majoralaur: for only 20 mins!
AdamBeWorkin: i would
AdamBeWorkin: seriously - not to be obsessive or anything...
AdamBeWorkin: but i have the time
Majoralaur: today just may be kinda crazy
AdamBeWorkin: of couuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurse
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: you take 3 hour lunches everyday this week
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: i'm smiling btw
AdamBeWorkin: i don't doubt you're very busy
AdamBeWorkin: but i can truly be down there whenever you may have even 1/2 hour to grab something
AdamBeWorkin: not a lot goes on here before 3 pm
Majoralaur: 3 hour lunches, my ass!
Majoralaur: hehe
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: your ass could indeed be a 3 hour lunch
Majoralaur: :)
Majoralaur: did u see that smiley, huh buddy!??!?!
Majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: hahaha
AdamBeWorkin: yeah only the wink doesn't work
AdamBeWorkin: without a nose for some reason
Majoralaur: hmmmm
Majoralaur: hehehe
Majoralaur: si my boss is stressing over the amount he'll owe this year for taxes...
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Majoralaur: and he was joking, asking me other ways to make a 'quick buck'
Majoralaur: so I laughed and suggested nude house cleaning for wealthy people
AdamBeWorkin: oooooooooh
AdamBeWorkin: good call
Majoralaur: and he must have thought I was serious!
AdamBeWorkin: oh jesus
Majoralaur: cause he keeps asking me questions about
AdamBeWorkin: is your boss naked?
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Majoralaur: what agency to join??
Majoralaur: hahah
Majoralaur: noooo, lol
AdamBeWorkin: goddamnit i just lost $350
AdamBeWorkin: this job is like Vegas sometimes
AdamBeWorkin: had i locked someone today my rebate jumped a bunch
AdamBeWorkin: grrrr
Majoralaur: at leats it's not 3,500
AdamBeWorkin: true
Majoralaur: or more..
AdamBeWorkin: alright so how 'bout i put it this way...
AdamBeWorkin: i'm going to drive down to olympic and have lunch somewhere
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: just because i want to enjoy the weather and the drive
Majoralaur: that's fine...I just have zero clue as to when I'll be able to get out of here to eat....
Majoralaur: so, please don't wait around for me...
AdamBeWorkin: well if there's any chance you can walk outside of your office
AdamBeWorkin: and meet me it's worth my time
Majoralaur: awwww....
Majoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: so if you were a betting man...
AdamBeWorkin: errrrrrr woman
Majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: would you say it's best to waste my time from about 1 pm to 2 pm?
Majoralaur: sometimes my thoughts are like those of the male species
AdamBeWorkin: 1 pm or 2:30 pm
AdamBeWorkin: yes, yes they are
Majoralaur: rather than the female kind...
Majoralaur: but...
Majoralaur: I honestly can't even say!
AdamBeWorkin: ok
Majoralaur: I'd hate for u to drive down here
Majoralaur: please ...just wait 'till I have an 'easier' more predictable day...
AdamBeWorkin: it's my heart babe....
AdamBeWorkin: it's a reasonable risk
AdamBeWorkin: so I'm gonna take off...
AdamBeWorkin: i'll have to leave around 2:45 - 3:00pm
Majoralaur: Adaaaaam....
AdamBeWorkin: ?
Majoralaur: uuugh, I hae for you to come all the way here...
Majoralaur: with such a small chance that I can get out and see you...
Majoralaur: *hate
AdamBeWorkin: well gas is $2.90 a gallon
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Majoralaur: no shit
Majoralaur: cost me $40 to fill up
Majoralaur: and I only have a HONDA!
AdamBeWorkin: i know!
Majoralaur: and with my commute...
Majoralaur: the way I go thru gas
AdamBeWorkin: yeah - i hear ya
Majoralaur: wish I was rich
Majoralaur: fukken bills....story of my life...endless...
Majoralaur: anyway...
AdamBeWorkin: anyway - what's a restaurant around there?
Majoralaur: ummm, I usually go to santa monica or brentwood for lunch
Majoralaur: like 5 mins away
Majoralaur: mmmm
Majoralaur: you're not really gonna drive all the way out here, r u?
AdamBeWorkin: if it's gonna make you feel bad i won't
AdamBeWorkin: but i dont mind driving there
AdamBeWorkin: and sit and play my psp
AdamBeWorkin: and if you can come out - cool
AdamBeWorkin: if not - it's no big deal
AdamBeWorkin: 'cause chances are - you're gonna have 20 minutes
AdamBeWorkin: somewhere
AdamBeWorkin: that just pops up
AdamBeWorkin: and you're gonna be hungry
AdamBeWorkin: but if it's making you feel bad
AdamBeWorkin: i'll just go hit up some sushi around her
AdamBeWorkin: *here
Majoralaur: her?
Majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: yes - I eat sushi off my coworkers daily
AdamBeWorkin: the perks
Majoralaur: *yum*
Majoralaur: long as they're hot...
Majoralaur: :)
AdamBeWorkin: yeah raw fish and unattractive women...
AdamBeWorkin: no
AdamBeWorkin: not good
Majoralaur: heheheh
Majoralaur: <nasttttttay>
AdamBeWorkin: yup
Majoralaur: I'd rather u come here when I can go to lunch with you
Majoralaur: thats all
AdamBeWorkin: and you really think there's no shit?
Majoralaur: it's not like I work right around the corner
AdamBeWorkin: LOL - i mean no shot
Majoralaur: um, shit?
AdamBeWorkin: i know
AdamBeWorkin: haha
AdamBeWorkin: that's a great typo
Majoralaur: that usually comes after lunch
Majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: heh
Majoralaur: <sorry, being down right disgusting now>
AdamBeWorkin: it's endearing
AdamBeWorkin: it makes you real
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Majoralaur: hey, we all do it
Majoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: btw - as i was going over everything in my head
AdamBeWorkin: i remembered the scar!
Majoralaur: yes?
AdamBeWorkin: from the pencil?
AdamBeWorkin: WOW
Majoralaur: yeah
Majoralaur: lol
Majoralaur: did u see it?
In grade school some psycho girl rammed a pencil up her ass. LOL.
AdamBeWorkin: that bitch was CRAZY
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: i did
Majoralaur: hhahaha
AdamBeWorkin: it didn't register until days later
Majoralaur: lmao
Majoralaur: one more to add to this list!
AdamBeWorkin: ha
Majoralaur: it was DEEP!
AdamBeWorkin: well no shit
AdamBeWorkin: you're 27
AdamBeWorkin: it's still there
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Majoralaur: the docs had to dig out some SERIOUS lead!
AdamBeWorkin: wow
AdamBeWorkin: just wow
AdamBeWorkin: and that was close to being
AdamBeWorkin: REALLY bad
Majoralaur: yes yes...
Majoralaur: I KNOW!
AdamBeWorkin: had she been a better show
Majoralaur: hahah
AdamBeWorkin: *shot
AdamBeWorkin: wow
Majoralaur: lol
Majoralaur: another typo?
AdamBeWorkin: ha
Majoralaur: I'm sure she put on a good show...
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
AdamBeWorkin: i'm sure you did too
Majoralaur: I still do...
Majoralaur: :)
AdamBeWorkin: grrrrrrrrrr
Majoralaur: j/k
AdamBeWorkin: so is it really that crazy?
Majoralaur: what?
AdamBeWorkin: or do you have other lunch plans
Majoralaur: I never make plans in advance
AdamBeWorkin: ahh
Majoralaur: cause sometimes I go to lunch at 12
Majoralaur: sometimes 1
Majoralaur: sometimes 3
Majoralaur: sometimes
Majoralaur: not at all
Majoralaur: so I dont make plans...so I dont keep people waiting
AdamBeWorkin: right right
AdamBeWorkin: i dont mind waiting major
AdamBeWorkin: i really dont
AdamBeWorkin: but if you're certain there's no way - I dont want you to feel guilty
AdamBeWorkin: that defeats the purpose of seeing you and making you smile
AdamBeWorkin: which is all i really want to do
Majoralaur: if I worked 5 minutes away...it would be different
Majoralaur: but i'm soooo out of the way
AdamBeWorkin: ?
Majoralaur: from the valley
AdamBeWorkin: dont concern yourself with that babe!
Majoralaur: and I cant promise anything
AdamBeWorkin: ok
Majoralaur: serious...
AdamBeWorkin: i'm just gonna make you feel bad
AdamBeWorkin: i dont want to do that
Majoralaur: no, I just really dont want you to waste your time...
Majoralaur: when the chances of me getting out for 20 mins are slim
AdamBeWorkin: i know this is going to sound like the biggest crock of shit
AdamBeWorkin: ever
Majoralaur: what?
AdamBeWorkin: but i don't consider the chance of seeing you even for a moment
AdamBeWorkin: a waste of time
AdamBeWorkin: i really, really, dont
AdamBeWorkin: that's just how i feel
AdamBeWorkin: but if it's going to make you feel guilty
Majoralaur: :)
AdamBeWorkin: then by allmeans - i will stay up here
AdamBeWorkin: eat sushi off this hot bitch next to me
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Majoralaur: lucky guy
Majoralaur: no hot bitches in here for me to eat...
Majoralaur: ...off of..
AdamBeWorkin: ha!
AdamBeWorkin: i miss you babe
AdamBeWorkin: call me if you see an opening
AdamBeWorkin: ok?
Majoralaur: for sure...
Majoralaur: back to work for me now...
AdamBeWorkin: k
Majoralaur: ciao sweetie!
AdamBeWorkin: ciao
AdamBeWorkin: do you have a cute away message?
Majoralaur: Majoralaur is away from the computer
AdamBeWorkin: no
majoralaur: busy, I take it...
majoralaur: I'm leaving the office now to drop off some keys...call me later if u want.///
So I call and she mentions she’s dropping off some keys then stopping up at the Encino office which is kinda close to me. I asked if we could meet for coffee and she hemmed and hawed a bit. Red flag: for the first time in 404 entries that I’ve ever used the term hemmed and hawed. Anyway she said that’d be cool and that she’d call me on the way up. So I worked out the math – left work around 5:45 PM and headed down to Encino, ‘round 30 minutes. I get a call from her saying she has to get home and clean up because her dad is coming in on Saturday. She’s no longer stopping at the Encino office… and I can tell immediately she’s lying. It’s more than frustrating. I was pretty pissed. I just cornered her again – and made her finally admit that she needed to get home to spend time with her husband. Which just pissed me off even more. Just be fucking honest. Why does she have to constantly say what I want to hear. Believe it or not I WANT TO HEAR her say that she needs to spend time with him. SHE OBVIOUSLY does. Yet I have to drag this out of her. It’s so humiliating.
She admitted it, I said ok and made it known I was unhappy that she wasted my time when all she had to do was be honest. We hung up. As I drove I was just deflated. Why would she fuck with me like that? She doesn’t see it like that – but when you lie, you are toying with people. You feel that your IDEA of what they want to hear is better than the truth. It’s not your place to decide that.
She calls back and just says hi. She’s confused and couldn’t end the night like that. We talked for a good 20 minutes (my cell bill will be fucked this month), and we both felt better by the end of it. I know she’s just confused and doesn’t want to hurt anyone. I reiterated more than enough – don’t lie to me, period. Because it’s the best way for me to start looking at you like I looked at Laura in time. But I have to admit – it seems like she’s doing everything Laura did. Across the board. She will avoid talking to him tonight because he leaves again on Friday so what would be the point, and then we’ll have an amazing weekend together. But once he comes back, that’s pretty much the end of my rope. I know it’s quick to be able to judge “us” but it’s not quick to realize your marriage is a wreck. She knew there were problems for years, they’ve now manifested into a full-on love affair and you’re not going to talk to him? If she can’t talk to him when he gets back next week then she has no intention of leaving on her own. She wants him to make the decision for her.
I’m ahead of myself. But it by all means is no longer a tiny story. The last 3 days put it into an entirely different category and I assume my entry after this weekend will be even more crazy. But it’ll be a fuckload shorter because you won’t have to read 5 hours of instant messages. LOL.
PS - the song... fuck me. I've never cried during a song and simply can't believe I got through that. The compression kills the ability to hear the lyrics though, so here:
I was thinking 'bout Palaur few years ago,
So I called her up said what do you know,
She was still with him and struggling every day,
But she broke down just enough to softly say:
Adam, not a day passes me by,
Where the words you said don't fill me up inside,
You allowed me to see more than I could be,
BUt it seems we just were never meant to be,
So I guess that's just the way the story goes,
When you lead with your heart - you gotta know,
I will fight for everyone to help 'em see,
But will anybody ever fight for me,
I was thinking 'bout my jewel few days ago,
So i called her up and said what do you know,
Deep inside i hoped the distance broke her heart,
But she sounded like a journey at the start,
She said Adam, I'm sorry, but I am home,
And thank you babe for loving me alone,
I am finding out all that I can be,
Babe I just don't were really meant to be,
So I guess that's just the way the story goes,
When you lead with your heart - you gotta know,
I will fight for everyone to help 'em see,
But will anybody ever fight for me,
And now I look into your eyes and I am gone,
I can barely form the words, you turn me on,
It's as if so much was OFF inside of me,
And your eyes can somehow reach right down and see,
But it seems this situation's tailor-made,
For this boy to help this girl find her way,
To impact your life and show you what is true,
But the strength to change this verse, is up to you.
And I guess that's just the way the story goes,
When you lead with your heart - you gotta know,
I will fight for everyone to help 'em see,
But will anybody ever fight for me...