- 12:09 AM, Tuesday,
April 5th 2005:
-
- Adam,
-
- What the
fuck are you doing. Seriously man. You not only
know the outcome of this youve lived
the outcome of this. You wrote entries about the
outcome of this. You wrote songs about the outcome
of this. You uploaded a fucking WEBSITE with songs
and videos documenting the outcome of this
and
you sure as fuck have told OTHERS to avoid this
situation because of the outcome. You know, you
know, you know. So again Adam, what the
fuck?
-
-
- Sincerely,
- Common
Sense
-
- Common
Sense,
-
- I am not going to
be so stupid as to assume everyone is going to act the
way Laura did 7 years ago. Common sense, you gotta
know that. You cant pre-judge people that
harshly. You have to give people the benefit of the
doubt. The problem is Laura got that benefit for way
too fucking long and I got used. Lesson learned. So
Im now very cautious and very aware of the
situation, but I also feel like I have the most
intensely cosmic connection with this person that I
cant ignore. It is slightly frightening and
intriguing at the same time. This will come to a head
100 times quicker than Palaur did, or I will
disconnect completely.
-
- Fair
enough?
-
- So obviously
things were not over. I would sit and try to explain
what happened, but thats the beauty of instant
messages. Heres what happened Monday
morning:
-
-
- AdamBeWorkin:
this is my work IM
- Minoralaur:
hey...
- AdamBeWorkin:
i'll let you be, just wanted you to
know the name
- Minoralaur:
busy day?
- AdamBeWorkin:
no unfortunately
- AdamBeWorkin:
and staring at your name for 30 minutes
really sucks
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- Minoralaur:
why didnt you say 'hi'
sooner?
- AdamBeWorkin:
i'm trying to give you space
babe
- AdamBeWorkin:
i dont want to be
overwhelming
- AdamBeWorkin:
i've been a bit of a failure at that in
the past 24 hours...
heh
- Minoralaur:
no worries....
- Minoralaur:
no, no..why do u say
that?
- AdamBeWorkin:
because you were overwhelmed - and i
completely understand
that
- AdamBeWorkin:
this is overwhelming to me
too
- Minoralaur:
just a little...
- Minoralaur:
but don't take it that I don't want to
talk to you
- AdamBeWorkin:
are you sure?
- Minoralaur:
of course i'm sure...
- AdamBeWorkin:
i was prepared to let you go until you
were ready
- AdamBeWorkin:
i do NOT want to make this worse for
you
- Minoralaur:
not at all...I can handle things...dont
worry
- AdamBeWorkin:
i know how I can be
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- Minoralaur:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
well then can i link you to a song i
wrote this morning?
- AdamBeWorkin:
heh
- Minoralaur:
sure....
- AdamBeWorkin:
you should relate to
this...
- AdamBeWorkin:
http://www.4tvs.com/media/journey/yearsix/402.wmv
- AdamBeWorkin:
the video may not work on your
computer...
- Minoralaur:
got it....that was
beautiful
- AdamBeWorkin:
i'm just as scared as you are right
now
- AdamBeWorkin:
i do not understand how anyone can look
into me like that
- AdamBeWorkin:
at all
- AdamBeWorkin:
it's slightly unsettling
honestly
- Minoralaur:
it was rather strange....and
intense...
- AdamBeWorkin:
but incredibly addictive as
well
- Minoralaur:
I'm usually the person who keeps my
wall up and my emotions on lock
down
- AdamBeWorkin:
i guess people just connect
sometimes
- AdamBeWorkin:
just really no other way to explain
it
- Minoralaur:
true...
- Minoralaur:
well, like I said before...of course I
still want to talk to
you...
- AdamBeWorkin:
i guess it couldn't hurt to get to know
each other
- AdamBeWorkin:
heh
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- Minoralaur:
not at all
- Minoralaur:
- Minoralaur:
well...guess you are busy now...but
feel free to IM me throughout the day
if you have down time..
-
- 20
minutes later...
-
- AdamBeWorkin:
woo hoo took an app...
- Minoralaur:
sweet! ;)
- AdamBeWorkin:
(sigh) i'm back in the awkward mode
again
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- Minoralaur:
silly...no need...
- Minoralaur:
where is your office
located?
- AdamBeWorkin:
Northridge
- AdamBeWorkin:
no need
- AdamBeWorkin:
riiiiight
- AdamBeWorkin:
you ever been in a
situation....
- AdamBeWorkin:
where you have the most intense
personal connection with someone you've
ever known in your 30 years on
earth...
- AdamBeWorkin:
but get to talk about the weather with
them?
- AdamBeWorkin:
yeah - it's pretty
crazy
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- Minoralaur:
ummmm...lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
you should try it
sometime
- AdamBeWorkin:
hahaha
- Minoralaur:
perhaps I should ;)
- Minoralaur:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
man - i hate trying to figure out what
to charge someone
- AdamBeWorkin:
if people only knew - the bigger
assholes they are
- AdamBeWorkin:
the lower their fees
- AdamBeWorkin:
heh
- Minoralaur:
the way I figure, the more unds they
have...the higher fee we charge
'em
- Minoralaur:
*funds
- AdamBeWorkin:
right
- AdamBeWorkin:
but like - me and this guy hit it
off
- AdamBeWorkin:
joking
- AdamBeWorkin:
like best friends
- Minoralaur:
yeah...
- AdamBeWorkin:
so I should be all nice - charging as
low as i can
- AdamBeWorkin:
but the truth of the matter
is
- AdamBeWorkin:
he's least willing to argue
fees
- Minoralaur:
true...but all is fair in work &
money
- AdamBeWorkin:
right
- Minoralaur:
way I see it...I'm not at work to make
friends...
- Minoralaur:
I'm here to make money
- Minoralaur:
can't do both, u know?
- AdamBeWorkin:
true
- Minoralaur:
esp. in this business
- Minoralaur:
it's so cut-throat
- AdamBeWorkin:
god i'm so fucking sorry i didn't have
my wallet
- AdamBeWorkin:
sorry - just had to throw that in
there
- Minoralaur:
please...dont even
worry...
- AdamBeWorkin:
i swear to you it was strewn all over
my backyard
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- Minoralaur:
thats strange
- AdamBeWorkin:
no it isn't
- AdamBeWorkin:
my dogs went CRAZY
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- Minoralaur:
I just never leave my house without my
wallet
- Minoralaur:
J.I.C. ;)
- AdamBeWorkin:
well it was in my coat
- AdamBeWorkin:
and it was too nice to wear
it
- Minoralaur:
no worries sweetie...
- Minoralaur:
we werent on a 'date'...I didnt expect
u to pay for me or
anything...
- AdamBeWorkin:
it's not that
- AdamBeWorkin:
it's years of not having money
ever
- AdamBeWorkin:
and finally having some
- AdamBeWorkin:
you want to be able to fucking go to
starbucks without cleaning out your
ashtray
- AdamBeWorkin:
and of course I come back and you're
white as a ghost
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- Minoralaur:
sorry...
- Minoralaur:
just a combination of
things
- AdamBeWorkin:
oh i know
- AdamBeWorkin:
man this is so huge
- AdamBeWorkin:
i understand your
feelings
- AdamBeWorkin:
it's why i wanted to back
off
- AdamBeWorkin:
let you think through all of
this
- AdamBeWorkin:
i dont want to influence you
here
- Minoralaur:
I just don't know how to explain
things...
- Minoralaur:
and then my husband is returning home
tonight,..
- Minoralaur:
and I don't want things to be
weird
- AdamBeWorkin:
ha
- AdamBeWorkin:
i say ha lovingly mind
you
- Minoralaur:
suuuuuure....
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
I know your first instinct will be to
avoid confrontation
- AdamBeWorkin:
but I assume that in time you'll want
more...
- AdamBeWorkin:
I hope
- Minoralaur:
I think it's best that I dont discuss
what happened over my weekend with
him...
- Minoralaur:
for now
- AdamBeWorkin:
no shit babe
- AdamBeWorkin:
that would be "weird"
- Minoralaur:
extremely
- AdamBeWorkin:
I'm trying to step back and just hope
you "get" it
- AdamBeWorkin:
because I can't make these
choices
- AdamBeWorkin:
and when things are comfortable...time
passes
- AdamBeWorkin:
you dont talk now - you don't talk next
week
- Minoralaur:
believe me, I know...
- AdamBeWorkin:
there's a nother trip, you dont talk
when he gets back
- AdamBeWorkin:
and... it all fades
away
- Minoralaur:
- Minoralaur:
not quite
- AdamBeWorkin:
because you never really believed I was
"real" to begin wth
- AdamBeWorkin:
i've seen it happen first hand
Minor
- Minoralaur:
it 'all' won't just 'fade
away'
- AdamBeWorkin:
i hope you're right
- Minoralaur:
there will still be a HUGE part of
it...in the back of my mind
always
- AdamBeWorkin:
but if your goal is for things to not
be "weird" - you will let it
go
- AdamBeWorkin:
it's just so haaaaaaaaard to make these
choices
- AdamBeWorkin:
so hard
- AdamBeWorkin:
and because we did what we did on
Saturday...
- Minoralaur:
If I was completely miserable with
him...it would make things
easier...
- AdamBeWorkin:
i'm not sure that you'll ever realize
how connected we are
- Minoralaur:
but I'm not...we have many good moments
too
- AdamBeWorkin:
right
- AdamBeWorkin:
time will tell - the fact that you're
even talking to me says a
lot
- AdamBeWorkin:
so I will try my damndest to stop
writing songs
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
and talk about the weather with
you
- Minoralaur:
lol
- Minoralaur:
I was thinking about u alot last
night..
- AdamBeWorkin:
...
- Minoralaur:
no comment?
- AdamBeWorkin:
no i was waiting for you to
expound...
- AdamBeWorkin:
heh
- Minoralaur:
lol
- Minoralaur:
just....lots of
things...
- Minoralaur:
kind of re-encting sat night in my
head...
- AdamBeWorkin:
heh
- AdamBeWorkin:
encting?
- Minoralaur:
reenacting
- Minoralaur:
typo
- AdamBeWorkin:
yes
- Minoralaur:
anyway, i'm off to lunch
now...'
- AdamBeWorkin:
the actual moments?
- AdamBeWorkin:
daaaaaaaaamn
- AdamBeWorkin:
ok
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- Minoralaur:
lol
- Minoralaur:
i'll be back in a few
hours...
- AdamBeWorkin:
k
- Minoralaur:
what time do u get off?
- AdamBeWorkin:
whenever
- Minoralaur:
k, well if u want...call me
later
- Minoralaur:
or i'll see you on IMs when I get
back
- AdamBeWorkin:
well dont tell me that
- AdamBeWorkin:
i'll call you in 20
seconds
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- Minoralaur:
;)
- Minoralaur:
ciao sweetie...
- AdamBeWorkin:
byw
- AdamBeWorkin:
*bye
-
- Around
3pm
-
- AdamBeWorkin:
stupid aim....
- AdamBeWorkin:
how long have you been back
on?
- Minoralaur:
like....10-15
minutes...?
- Minoralaur:
I just got back...had an
appt.
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
my AIM froze
- Minoralaur:
whats so funny?
- Minoralaur:
ooooh...
- AdamBeWorkin:
and i didn't know
- Minoralaur:
that sucks
- AdamBeWorkin:
and i went back on and 15 different
people popped up
- Minoralaur:
oooh, how funny...still at
work?
- AdamBeWorkin:
(thus the name)
- Minoralaur:
ahhhhh
- AdamBeWorkin:
- Minoralaur:
thanks for the sarcasm,
btw
- Minoralaur:
always appreciated....
- AdamBeWorkin:
i try, i try
- AdamBeWorkin:
also - on the whole calling
thing
- AdamBeWorkin:
i'm always going to be wary of calling
because of your
situation
- AdamBeWorkin:
so you're gonna have to call
me
- Minoralaur:
yeah...I mean...
- Minoralaur:
I usually turn my phone off by 8:30 pm
(when I get home)
- AdamBeWorkin:
ahh
- Minoralaur:
cause he can be a little nosy about my
phone calls
- AdamBeWorkin:
well i dont want to call you at
work
- AdamBeWorkin:
cause your at work
- AdamBeWorkin:
i dont want to call you at
home
- AdamBeWorkin:
cause you're at home
- AdamBeWorkin:
i dont want to call you at lunch -
cause you're at lunch
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- Minoralaur:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
so - i do want to talk
- Minoralaur:
so when can/will u
call?
- AdamBeWorkin:
and we do need to talk
- AdamBeWorkin:
but you're gonna have to do
that...
- Minoralaur:
that's cool....
- Minoralaur:
I can call after I leave work or the
gym...
- Minoralaur:
on my way home
- AdamBeWorkin:
i'd love to hear ya...
- AdamBeWorkin:
i guess we need to clarify what the
hell this is now
- AdamBeWorkin:
so i can play along...
- AdamBeWorkin:
heh
- Minoralaur:
'play along'?
- Minoralaur:
;)
- AdamBeWorkin:
i'm in a pretty strange
position
- AdamBeWorkin:
as this is so similar to what happened
to me before
- AdamBeWorkin:
even down to the goddamn IM
conversations
- Minoralaur:
I know...and i'm not trying to drag u
into something...
- AdamBeWorkin:
but there is one
difference
- Minoralaur:
if this is too much for you...or u dont
want to deal...just tell
me
- AdamBeWorkin:
listen...heh
- AdamBeWorkin:
the difference here is how you look at
me
- AdamBeWorkin:
it is different
- AdamBeWorkin:
it is real, and it is something i can't
ignore
- Minoralaur:
I know....
- AdamBeWorkin:
so i'm here
- AdamBeWorkin:
period
- AdamBeWorkin:
in what capacity is up to
you
- AdamBeWorkin:
you pretty much hold the
keys
- AdamBeWorkin:
what i dont want to be is your only
outlet for passion...
- AdamBeWorkin:
so you can "live" with your situation
for longer
- AdamBeWorkin:
which is what ended up happening to me
before
- Minoralaur:
I understand how that can
happen...
- AdamBeWorkin:
yeah
- AdamBeWorkin:
on the other hand
- Minoralaur:
but I think there is much more to it
than that...
- AdamBeWorkin:
what do you mean
- Minoralaur:
you know...potential for something
more...than just pure
passion..something
deeper..
- AdamBeWorkin:
whew
- Minoralaur:
?
- AdamBeWorkin:
i just really believe you understand
this
- AdamBeWorkin:
and she never did
- Minoralaur:
she was prob young at the
time...
- Minoralaur:
I didnt know this at 22
either
- Minoralaur:
you learn...the more experiences u have
n life...
- AdamBeWorkin:
whew again
- AdamBeWorkin:
i agree
- AdamBeWorkin:
i felt that she couldn't leave the
comfort of the marriage because it was
a commitment she made
- AdamBeWorkin:
and she thought this "passion" was a
fling
- AdamBeWorkin:
and never "got it"
- AdamBeWorkin:
never understood what it meant to your
whole life
- AdamBeWorkin:
when you were in a relationship that is
so connected
- AdamBeWorkin:
it changes every aspect of your
life
- AdamBeWorkin:
it allows you to
just...soar
- Minoralaur:
for sure...
- AdamBeWorkin:
but i made her comfortable for a
time
- AdamBeWorkin:
and it allowed her to basically "take"
from that
- Minoralaur:
if I was completely 100% fullfilled in
my marriage..I guess I wouldt 'feel'
any passion with anyone
else...
- AdamBeWorkin:
it's not about 100%
fulfillment
- Minoralaur:
and yes, I made a commitment..and I
hate losing things that I've worked so
hard at...
- AdamBeWorkin:
what are you losing?
- AdamBeWorkin:
i'm interrupting my own
point
- AdamBeWorkin:
but I'm curious as to what you're
working through...
- AdamBeWorkin:
this isn't a decision you'd make
alone
- Minoralaur:
worked hard at my marriage...marriage
is never easy...it takes 2 people
making an honest committment and
putting in time &
effort...
- AdamBeWorkin:
if i understand your
relationship...
- AdamBeWorkin:
and you said how you
felt
- AdamBeWorkin:
he wouldn't want you to feel that
way
- AdamBeWorkin:
if you two can truly communicate... you
can see that
- Minoralaur:
relationships are complicated
things...
- AdamBeWorkin:
he will see that
- Minoralaur:
there is so much I cannot even begin to
explain
- AdamBeWorkin:
to him?
- AdamBeWorkin:
or just about the
relationship
- Minoralaur:
no...ingeneral
- Minoralaur:
what i'm trying to say is....the heart
sends your head in so many different
directions...
- Minoralaur:
I told you yesterday...I love him
dearly...but I dont know if I am truly
'in love'
- AdamBeWorkin:
if you have to say that
- AdamBeWorkin:
then you know
- AdamBeWorkin:
it just hurts to say
- AdamBeWorkin:
And honestly - your head was not ready
to deal with this now
- AdamBeWorkin:
at all
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
but you had to know it was going to
come
- AdamBeWorkin:
I just wish for your sake it didn't
have to be so damn
dramatic
- Minoralaur:
dramatic? u mean
yesterday....?
- AdamBeWorkin:
no saturday night!
- Minoralaur:
yeah...
- AdamBeWorkin:
Sunday was actually pretty perfect to
tell you the truth
- AdamBeWorkin:
sitting in the car with
you...
- AdamBeWorkin:
i'm still astonished
- Minoralaur:
we got to see each other in a different
light, for one...
- Minoralaur:
why astonished?
- AdamBeWorkin:
because i could've sat there and looked
at you for years
- AdamBeWorkin:
it's what that song was
about
- AdamBeWorkin:
"how the fuck can you look INTO
me?"
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- Minoralaur:
;)
- AdamBeWorkin:
i should've written a more blunt
verse
- AdamBeWorkin:
"what the fuck"
- Minoralaur:
same...but do you
think...
- AdamBeWorkin:
"where are you from"
- AdamBeWorkin:
do i think...
- Minoralaur:
that u were just 'intrigued' by
me...out of lonliness...? something
new?
- AdamBeWorkin:
i'm not lonely
- Minoralaur:
out of simply just getting your mind of
your ex?
- AdamBeWorkin:
my miund will always be on
her
- AdamBeWorkin:
she's a friend
- AdamBeWorkin:
what can you do
- AdamBeWorkin:
and i went there saturday
night
- AdamBeWorkin:
just to talk with
someone
- AdamBeWorkin:
you look at me like I'm the only person
on the planet
- AdamBeWorkin:
you look at me like... jesus - i dont
know
- AdamBeWorkin:
i've never experienced
it
- Minoralaur:
so do u think that u could never love
someone again...the way u loved
her?
- AdamBeWorkin:
and do you really think if I was
lonely, I wouldn't just go get
laid
- AdamBeWorkin:
?
- AdamBeWorkin:
oh come on Minor
- AdamBeWorkin:
i dont have that connection with
her
- AdamBeWorkin:
when I say i've never experienced
it
- AdamBeWorkin:
i never have
- AdamBeWorkin:
she was more of a
friend
- AdamBeWorkin:
still is
- AdamBeWorkin:
there was never a passion with
her
- AdamBeWorkin:
just comfort
- Minoralaur:
right...
- AdamBeWorkin:
which is wonderful
- Minoralaur:
I totally understand
comfort
- AdamBeWorkin:
in its own way
- Minoralaur:
for sure
- AdamBeWorkin:
but you now have an
inkling
- Minoralaur:
so...if u dont mind me
asking...
- AdamBeWorkin:
of what else could
be...
- AdamBeWorkin:
yeah...
- Minoralaur:
whens the last time u had sex..?
;)
- AdamBeWorkin:
me and jess?
- Minoralaur:
just you
- Minoralaur:
and..whoever?
- AdamBeWorkin:
uhm
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
oh
- AdamBeWorkin:
cause well i had sex JUST
me
- AdamBeWorkin:
last night
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- Minoralaur:
hahaha
- AdamBeWorkin:
and you were wonderful
btw
- Minoralaur:
not exactly considered
'sex'
- Minoralaur:
hahaha
- AdamBeWorkin:
shit - the way i do it it
is
- Minoralaur:
hahah
- AdamBeWorkin:
ANYWAY I'm blushing
- Minoralaur:
seriously...
- AdamBeWorkin:
uhm - I actually had sex with
Jess
- AdamBeWorkin:
about a week or so ago
- Minoralaur:
hmmmm
- Minoralaur:
thats never easy
- AdamBeWorkin:
well - when you're
friends...
- Minoralaur:
but i'm sure that wont be the last
time...
- AdamBeWorkin:
you kidding?
- AdamBeWorkin:
yeah - i'm done
- AdamBeWorkin:
she lives in columbus
- Minoralaur:
no way...say she comes in town again
for work or somethin'.
- Minoralaur:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
no, she's done
- Minoralaur:
so...when was the last time u were with
another woman..not
jess?
- AdamBeWorkin:
February 5th
- AdamBeWorkin:
superbowl sunday
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
not that i remember
- AdamBeWorkin:
heh
- Minoralaur:
;)
- Minoralaur:
you're so cute...
- Minoralaur:
truly...so different...
- AdamBeWorkin:
?
- Minoralaur:
diff. than most guys
- Minoralaur:
I work with guys...we talk all the
time...
- Minoralaur:
they are just,
well...typical
- AdamBeWorkin:
how am i different?
- Minoralaur:
so much more settled
- Minoralaur:
and mature
- AdamBeWorkin:
i just know myself
- AdamBeWorkin:
that's all
- Minoralaur:
that's a good thing...
-
- Edited out some
real-estate talk here. I got an app
at work (zzzzzzzzzzzzzz)...
-
- Minoralaur:
so when can I see you
again?
- AdamBeWorkin:
it's not up to me
- AdamBeWorkin:
i'll meet you anytime you
have
- Minoralaur:
tonight? for a bit?
- AdamBeWorkin:
time....
- Minoralaur:
like an hour tops?
- AdamBeWorkin:
of course
- Minoralaur:
ummm
- Minoralaur:
I'll prob. be leaving the gym by
7:15ish
- Minoralaur:
here in west LA
- Minoralaur:
so...
- AdamBeWorkin:
right
- AdamBeWorkin:
hmmmm
- AdamBeWorkin:
how do you come home
- AdamBeWorkin:
and btw - fuck the gym for
tonight
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- Minoralaur:
lol
- Minoralaur:
only thing is...
- Minoralaur:
if I leave here at like 6
pm..
- AdamBeWorkin:
traffic
- AdamBeWorkin:
i know
- Minoralaur:
i'll be stuck in
traffic
- Minoralaur:
yeah
- Minoralaur:
so...I work out..and leave here like an
hour later
- AdamBeWorkin:
right
- Minoralaur:
and traffic is so much
better
- AdamBeWorkin:
good call
- AdamBeWorkin:
so you go 405 north...
- AdamBeWorkin:
to 101 north?
- Minoralaur:
I take the 405 north to the
101
- Minoralaur:
yeah
- AdamBeWorkin:
hmmm
- AdamBeWorkin:
you'd be around 101 and desoto at
roughly 7:45
- AdamBeWorkin:
right?
- AdamBeWorkin:
or maybe even 7:30?
- Minoralaur:
ya, depending on
traffic
- AdamBeWorkin:
and when do you have to be
home?
- Minoralaur:
which this morning...wasnt too
bad...
- Minoralaur:
well I think his plane gets here at 10
pm
- Minoralaur:
so by then...
- AdamBeWorkin:
that made me smirk
- Minoralaur:
lol
- Minoralaur:
why?
- AdamBeWorkin:
why did you lol?
- AdamBeWorkin:
ha
- Minoralaur:
I know...so fukken shady,
right?
- Minoralaur:
:(
- AdamBeWorkin:
no no no
- AdamBeWorkin:
i want to see you
- AdamBeWorkin:
that's all babe
- Minoralaur:
k...
- Minoralaur:
well I can call you when I leave
here
- Minoralaur:
i'll be kinda sweaty
though
- AdamBeWorkin:
hang on one second...
- Minoralaur:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
goddamn
- Minoralaur:
k
- AdamBeWorkin:
k - back
- AdamBeWorkin:
gotta ask you this...
- AdamBeWorkin:
actually can i call real
quick?
- Minoralaur:
ummm, i'm at my desk
- Minoralaur:
<lots of people
around>
- Minoralaur:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
but they can't read the
screen?
- Minoralaur:
nope
- Minoralaur:
;)
- AdamBeWorkin:
fair enough
- AdamBeWorkin:
so why do you want to see me
tonight?
- AdamBeWorkin:
you wouldn't even answer my calls
yesterday
- AdamBeWorkin:
ya know?
- Minoralaur:
I just want to see
you...
- Minoralaur:
yesterday I felt...I dont even
know...
- Minoralaur:
for once, i'm at a loss for
words
- AdamBeWorkin:
well make some up
damnit
- Minoralaur:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
you gotta throw yourself in my shoes
for a moment
- AdamBeWorkin:
serioulsy - close your
eyes
- AdamBeWorkin:
picture this from my
perspective
- Minoralaur:
I know, I know...I thought about
it
- AdamBeWorkin:
or keep them open
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- Minoralaur:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
all i need from you....is
honesty
- AdamBeWorkin:
that's it
- AdamBeWorkin:
if you are up front I'm
fine
- AdamBeWorkin:
if you are like you were
Sunday...
- AdamBeWorkin:
where you lie to me and say everything
is alright
- AdamBeWorkin:
when you're freaked
- AdamBeWorkin:
i'm not fine at all
- Minoralaur:
:/
- AdamBeWorkin:
then i'm fucked up all
night
- AdamBeWorkin:
thinking it's because i forgot my
goddamn wallet
- AdamBeWorkin:
then i dont sleep
- Minoralaur:
i'm really sorry...
- AdamBeWorkin:
you can't do that
sweetie
- AdamBeWorkin:
if you are freaked
- AdamBeWorkin:
if you are overwhelmed
- AdamBeWorkin:
just look me in the eyes - and say "i'm
overwhelmed"
- Minoralaur:
I know...
- AdamBeWorkin:
and i will kiss you on the forehead and
let yougo
- AdamBeWorkin:
it's ok to be
overhwelmed
- AdamBeWorkin:
this is very serious
- Minoralaur:
sunday was just a variety of
things...
- Minoralaur:
head was going in so many different
directions
- AdamBeWorkin:
well - you haven't explained ANY of the
variety
- AdamBeWorkin:
still
- Minoralaur:
I know...
- Minoralaur:
not over IMs
- Minoralaur:
if u really want to know..I'll tell
you
- AdamBeWorkin:
...
- AdamBeWorkin:
why wouldn't i want to
know
- Minoralaur:
ok then
- Minoralaur:
we can be totally
honest
- AdamBeWorkin:
have I been anything
but?
- Minoralaur:
not that I think...
- AdamBeWorkin:
so shoot
- Minoralaur:
I actually have to go in like 5
minutes...
- Minoralaur:
so we'll save it
- AdamBeWorkin:
YOU SUCK
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
ROFL
- AdamBeWorkin:
we'll you type the damn
sentence
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
*will not we'll
- AdamBeWorkin:
don't be scared
Minor...
- Minoralaur:
no, no....when the time is
right....
- AdamBeWorkin:
is it that big of a
deal?
- AdamBeWorkin:
it was so the money
- AdamBeWorkin:
you thinking I'm completely lying to
you - and are poor
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- Minoralaur:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
and *I'm poor
- AdamBeWorkin:
my grammar is all fucked
up
- AdamBeWorkin:
jesus
- AdamBeWorkin:
please give me a
hint...
- Minoralaur:
I have to go now...
- Minoralaur:
so...tonight?
- AdamBeWorkin:
we still haven't decided
where
- Minoralaur:
ummm
- Minoralaur:
u tell me
- Minoralaur:
what exit do u live
off?
- AdamBeWorkin:
I live off coldwater
canyon
- AdamBeWorkin:
but that's the 101 going the other
way
- Minoralaur:
yeah...hmmmm
- Minoralaur:
so, car chat again I take
it?
- Minoralaur:
I feel like i'm 16 again
;)
- AdamBeWorkin:
well i cant meet you on the
highway
- AdamBeWorkin:
here's what I'll do
- AdamBeWorkin:
I'll drive down de soto
- AdamBeWorkin:
so you're closer to
home
- AdamBeWorkin:
even thouhg it's WAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY
WAY
- AdamBeWorkin:
:-)
- AdamBeWorkin:
and call around 7:30
- AdamBeWorkin:
and I'll tell you where I
am
- Minoralaur:
:(
- AdamBeWorkin:
?
- AdamBeWorkin:
what?
- Minoralaur:
'way the fuck out of the
way'?
- AdamBeWorkin:
oh babe - sorry
- AdamBeWorkin:
sarcasm
- Minoralaur:
k...
- AdamBeWorkin:
babe - if we go close to my
house
- Minoralaur:
but where on de soto?
- AdamBeWorkin:
i'll be singing you the new song at my
piano within 30 minutes
- Minoralaur:
I wanan hear it!!
- Minoralaur:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST
ITME?!
- Minoralaur:
k, well I have to go...
- AdamBeWorkin:
lol
- AdamBeWorkin:
so just call
- Minoralaur:
of course I do
- AdamBeWorkin:
i'll tell you where...
- Minoralaur:
hee hee
- Minoralaur:
ok then
- AdamBeWorkin:
bye hon
- Minoralaur:
bye!
|
-
- Well, we met way
too close to my house. (sigh). It wasnt but 5
minutes at Dennys before she said she would be
more comfortable talking at my house. What was I going
to say no? I promptly got up and paid for my coffee
(this time - sigh) and we were off.
-
- In my life people.
Seriously going on 30 years
I have never
felt the need to look at someone as much as I do with
her. Its re-energizing. I have loved people, and
been connected to people my whole life. No one moreso
than Jessica obviously. However when asked what
the most enjoyable thing that has happened, its
simply staring at each other. We end up looking at
each other for literally hours. Obviously there was
more but what I take from it is so much more
than physical. And after 48 hours I know its not
love. I mean Im head over heels in love
with her, but you cant truly love someone after
48 hours. Im not 15. But when I look in her
eyes...christ, how the fuck do you say this without it
being hackneyed? There just isnt a term to
describe it. It just feels connected. And she feels
the same way. Its eerie.
-
- Anyway, she had to
get back as her husbands plane got in around 10
pm. So were instantly thrown from the
Minialaur to the Minoralaur.
We now start to ask the same questions: Will she tell
him anything? Can she live like this? Can she actually
keep me from looking at her differently if she doesn't
tell him? Will she be like Laura? And is common sense
laughing his ass off right now? As much as I tried to
avoid it Im in deep.
-
- I swear. Only I
could answer some random posting on craigs list
about a platonic relationship and have it turn
into this. Amazing.
-
- Adam
-
- PS - the
video
is from 7 years ago. I do have some good memories
of it all. This video
(from entry 34 no less!!!) always makes me smile....
and, welllllllllllllllllll that would be it.
(sigh)
|