locked until 04.30.05 
12:09 AM, Tuesday, April 5th 2005:
What the fuck are you doing. Seriously man. You not only know the outcome of this – you’ve lived the outcome of this. You wrote entries about the outcome of this. You wrote songs about the outcome of this. You uploaded a fucking WEBSITE with songs and videos documenting the outcome of this…and you sure as fuck have told OTHERS to avoid this situation because of the outcome. You know, you know, you know. So again Adam, what the fuck?
Common Sense
Common Sense,
I am not going to be so stupid as to assume everyone is going to act the way Laura did 7 years ago. Common sense, you gotta know that. You can’t pre-judge people that harshly. You have to give people the benefit of the doubt. The problem is Laura got that benefit for way too fucking long and I got used. Lesson learned. So I’m now very cautious and very aware of the situation, but I also feel like I have the most intensely cosmic connection with this person that I can’t ignore. It is slightly frightening and intriguing at the same time. This will come to a head 100 times quicker than Palaur did, or I will disconnect completely.
Fair enough?
So obviously things were not over. I would sit and try to explain what happened, but that’s the beauty of instant messages. Here’s what happened Monday morning:
AdamBeWorkin: this is my work IM
Minoralaur: hey...
AdamBeWorkin: i'll let you be, just wanted you to know the name
Minoralaur: busy day?
AdamBeWorkin: no unfortunately
AdamBeWorkin: and staring at your name for 30 minutes really sucks
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Minoralaur: why didnt you say 'hi' sooner?
AdamBeWorkin: i'm trying to give you space babe
AdamBeWorkin: i dont want to be overwhelming
AdamBeWorkin: i've been a bit of a failure at that in the past 24 hours... heh
Minoralaur: no worries....
Minoralaur: no, no..why do u say that?
AdamBeWorkin: because you were overwhelmed - and i completely understand that
AdamBeWorkin: this is overwhelming to me too
Minoralaur: just a little...
Minoralaur: but don't take it that I don't want to talk to you
AdamBeWorkin: are you sure?
Minoralaur: of course i'm sure...
AdamBeWorkin: i was prepared to let you go until you were ready
AdamBeWorkin: i do NOT want to make this worse for you
Minoralaur: not at all...I can handle things...dont worry
AdamBeWorkin: i know how I can be
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Minoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: well then can i link you to a song i wrote this morning?
AdamBeWorkin: heh
Minoralaur: sure....
AdamBeWorkin: you should relate to this...
AdamBeWorkin: http://www.4tvs.com/media/journey/yearsix/402.wmv
AdamBeWorkin: the video may not work on your computer...
Minoralaur: got it....that was beautiful
AdamBeWorkin: i'm just as scared as you are right now
AdamBeWorkin: i do not understand how anyone can look into me like that
AdamBeWorkin: at all
AdamBeWorkin: it's slightly unsettling honestly
Minoralaur: it was rather strange....and intense...
AdamBeWorkin: but incredibly addictive as well
Minoralaur: I'm usually the person who keeps my wall up and my emotions on lock down
AdamBeWorkin: i guess people just connect sometimes
AdamBeWorkin: just really no other way to explain it
Minoralaur: true...
Minoralaur: well, like I said before...of course I still want to talk to you...
AdamBeWorkin: i guess it couldn't hurt to get to know each other
AdamBeWorkin: heh
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Minoralaur: not at all
Minoralaur: well...guess you are busy now...but feel free to IM me throughout the day if you have down time..
20 minutes later...
AdamBeWorkin: woo hoo took an app...
Minoralaur: sweet! ;)
AdamBeWorkin: (sigh) i'm back in the awkward mode again
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Minoralaur: silly...no need...
Minoralaur: where is your office located?
AdamBeWorkin: Northridge
AdamBeWorkin: no need
AdamBeWorkin: riiiiight
AdamBeWorkin: you ever been in a situation....
AdamBeWorkin: where you have the most intense personal connection with someone you've ever known in your 30 years on earth...
AdamBeWorkin: but get to talk about the weather with them?
AdamBeWorkin: yeah - it's pretty crazy
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Minoralaur: ummmm...lol
AdamBeWorkin: you should try it sometime
AdamBeWorkin: hahaha
Minoralaur: perhaps I should ;)
Minoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: man - i hate trying to figure out what to charge someone
AdamBeWorkin: if people only knew - the bigger assholes they are
AdamBeWorkin: the lower their fees
AdamBeWorkin: heh
Minoralaur: the way I figure, the more unds they have...the higher fee we charge 'em
Minoralaur: *funds
AdamBeWorkin: right
AdamBeWorkin: but like - me and this guy hit it off
AdamBeWorkin: joking
AdamBeWorkin: like best friends
Minoralaur: yeah...
AdamBeWorkin: so I should be all nice - charging as low as i can
AdamBeWorkin: but the truth of the matter is
AdamBeWorkin: he's least willing to argue fees
Minoralaur: true...but all is fair in work & money
AdamBeWorkin: right
Minoralaur: way I see it...I'm not at work to make friends...
Minoralaur: I'm here to make money
Minoralaur: can't do both, u know?
AdamBeWorkin: true
Minoralaur: esp. in this business
Minoralaur: it's so cut-throat
AdamBeWorkin: god i'm so fucking sorry i didn't have my wallet
AdamBeWorkin: sorry - just had to throw that in there
Minoralaur: please...dont even worry...
AdamBeWorkin: i swear to you it was strewn all over my backyard
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Minoralaur: thats strange
AdamBeWorkin: no it isn't
AdamBeWorkin: my dogs went CRAZY
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Minoralaur: I just never leave my house without my wallet
Minoralaur: J.I.C. ;)
AdamBeWorkin: well it was in my coat
AdamBeWorkin: and it was too nice to wear it
Minoralaur: no worries sweetie...
Minoralaur: we werent on a 'date'...I didnt expect u to pay for me or anything...
AdamBeWorkin: it's not that
AdamBeWorkin: it's years of not having money ever
AdamBeWorkin: and finally having some
AdamBeWorkin: you want to be able to fucking go to starbucks without cleaning out your ashtray
AdamBeWorkin: and of course I come back and you're white as a ghost
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Minoralaur: sorry...
Minoralaur: just a combination of things
AdamBeWorkin: oh i know
AdamBeWorkin: man this is so huge
AdamBeWorkin: i understand your feelings
AdamBeWorkin: it's why i wanted to back off
AdamBeWorkin: let you think through all of this
AdamBeWorkin: i dont want to influence you here
Minoralaur: I just don't know how to explain things...
Minoralaur: and then my husband is returning home tonight,..
Minoralaur: and I don't want things to be weird
AdamBeWorkin: ha
AdamBeWorkin: i say ha lovingly mind you
Minoralaur: suuuuuure....
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: I know your first instinct will be to avoid confrontation
AdamBeWorkin: but I assume that in time you'll want more...
AdamBeWorkin: I hope
Minoralaur: I think it's best that I dont discuss what happened over my weekend with him...
Minoralaur: for now
AdamBeWorkin: no shit babe
AdamBeWorkin: that would be "weird"
Minoralaur: extremely
AdamBeWorkin: I'm trying to step back and just hope you "get" it
AdamBeWorkin: because I can't make these choices
AdamBeWorkin: and when things are comfortable...time passes
AdamBeWorkin: you dont talk now - you don't talk next week
Minoralaur: believe me, I know...
AdamBeWorkin: there's a nother trip, you dont talk when he gets back
AdamBeWorkin: and... it all fades away
Minoralaur: not quite
AdamBeWorkin: because you never really believed I was "real" to begin wth
AdamBeWorkin: i've seen it happen first hand Minor
Minoralaur: it 'all' won't just 'fade away'
AdamBeWorkin: i hope you're right
Minoralaur: there will still be a HUGE part of it...in the back of my mind always
AdamBeWorkin: but if your goal is for things to not be "weird" - you will let it go
AdamBeWorkin: it's just so haaaaaaaaard to make these choices
AdamBeWorkin: so hard
AdamBeWorkin: and because we did what we did on Saturday...
Minoralaur: If I was completely miserable with him...it would make things easier...
AdamBeWorkin: i'm not sure that you'll ever realize how connected we are
Minoralaur: but I'm not...we have many good moments too
AdamBeWorkin: right
AdamBeWorkin: time will tell - the fact that you're even talking to me says a lot
AdamBeWorkin: so I will try my damndest to stop writing songs
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: and talk about the weather with you
Minoralaur: lol
Minoralaur: I was thinking about u alot last night..
AdamBeWorkin: ...
Minoralaur: no comment?
AdamBeWorkin: no i was waiting for you to expound...
AdamBeWorkin: heh
Minoralaur: lol
Minoralaur: just....lots of things...
Minoralaur: kind of re-encting sat night in my head...
AdamBeWorkin: heh
AdamBeWorkin: encting?
Minoralaur: reenacting
Minoralaur: typo
AdamBeWorkin: yes
Minoralaur: anyway, i'm off to lunch now...'
AdamBeWorkin: the actual moments?
AdamBeWorkin: daaaaaaaaamn
AdamBeWorkin: ok
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Minoralaur: lol
Minoralaur: i'll be back in a few hours...
AdamBeWorkin: k
Minoralaur: what time do u get off?
AdamBeWorkin: whenever
Minoralaur: k, well if u want...call me later
Minoralaur: or i'll see you on IMs when I get back
AdamBeWorkin: well dont tell me that
AdamBeWorkin: i'll call you in 20 seconds
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Minoralaur: ;)
Minoralaur: ciao sweetie...
AdamBeWorkin: byw
AdamBeWorkin: *bye
Around 3pm
AdamBeWorkin: stupid aim....
AdamBeWorkin: how long have you been back on?
Minoralaur: like....10-15 minutes...?
Minoralaur: I just got back...had an appt.
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: my AIM froze
Minoralaur: whats so funny?
Minoralaur: ooooh...
AdamBeWorkin: and i didn't know
Minoralaur: that sucks
AdamBeWorkin: and i went back on and 15 different people popped up
Minoralaur: oooh, how funny...still at work?
AdamBeWorkin: (thus the name)
Minoralaur: ahhhhh
Minoralaur: thanks for the sarcasm, btw
Minoralaur: always appreciated....
AdamBeWorkin: i try, i try
AdamBeWorkin: also - on the whole calling thing
AdamBeWorkin: i'm always going to be wary of calling because of your situation
AdamBeWorkin: so you're gonna have to call me
Minoralaur: yeah...I mean...
Minoralaur: I usually turn my phone off by 8:30 pm (when I get home)
AdamBeWorkin: ahh
Minoralaur: cause he can be a little nosy about my phone calls
AdamBeWorkin: well i dont want to call you at work
AdamBeWorkin: cause your at work
AdamBeWorkin: i dont want to call you at home
AdamBeWorkin: cause you're at home
AdamBeWorkin: i dont want to call you at lunch - cause you're at lunch
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Minoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: so - i do want to talk
Minoralaur: so when can/will u call?
AdamBeWorkin: and we do need to talk
AdamBeWorkin: but you're gonna have to do that...
Minoralaur: that's cool....
Minoralaur: I can call after I leave work or the gym...
Minoralaur: on my way home
AdamBeWorkin: i'd love to hear ya...
AdamBeWorkin: i guess we need to clarify what the hell this is now
AdamBeWorkin: so i can play along...
AdamBeWorkin: heh
Minoralaur: 'play along'?
Minoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: i'm in a pretty strange position
AdamBeWorkin: as this is so similar to what happened to me before
AdamBeWorkin: even down to the goddamn IM conversations
Minoralaur: I know...and i'm not trying to drag u into something...
AdamBeWorkin: but there is one difference
Minoralaur: if this is too much for you...or u dont want to deal...just tell me
AdamBeWorkin: listen...heh
AdamBeWorkin: the difference here is how you look at me
AdamBeWorkin: it is different
AdamBeWorkin: it is real, and it is something i can't ignore
Minoralaur: I know....
AdamBeWorkin: so i'm here
AdamBeWorkin: period
AdamBeWorkin: in what capacity is up to you
AdamBeWorkin: you pretty much hold the keys
AdamBeWorkin: what i dont want to be is your only outlet for passion...
AdamBeWorkin: so you can "live" with your situation for longer
AdamBeWorkin: which is what ended up happening to me before
Minoralaur: I understand how that can happen...
AdamBeWorkin: yeah
AdamBeWorkin: on the other hand
Minoralaur: but I think there is much more to it than that...
AdamBeWorkin: what do you mean
Minoralaur: you know...potential for something more...than just pure passion..something deeper..
AdamBeWorkin: whew
Minoralaur: ?
AdamBeWorkin: i just really believe you understand this
AdamBeWorkin: and she never did
Minoralaur: she was prob young at the time...
Minoralaur: I didnt know this at 22 either
Minoralaur: you learn...the more experiences u have n life...
AdamBeWorkin: whew again
AdamBeWorkin: i agree
AdamBeWorkin: i felt that she couldn't leave the comfort of the marriage because it was a commitment she made
AdamBeWorkin: and she thought this "passion" was a fling
AdamBeWorkin: and never "got it"
AdamBeWorkin: never understood what it meant to your whole life
AdamBeWorkin: when you were in a relationship that is so connected
AdamBeWorkin: it changes every aspect of your life
AdamBeWorkin: it allows you to just...soar
Minoralaur: for sure...
AdamBeWorkin: but i made her comfortable for a time
AdamBeWorkin: and it allowed her to basically "take" from that
Minoralaur: if I was completely 100% fullfilled in my marriage..I guess I wouldt 'feel' any passion with anyone else...
AdamBeWorkin: it's not about 100% fulfillment
Minoralaur: and yes, I made a commitment..and I hate losing things that I've worked so hard at...
AdamBeWorkin: what are you losing?
AdamBeWorkin: i'm interrupting my own point
AdamBeWorkin: but I'm curious as to what you're working through...
AdamBeWorkin: this isn't a decision you'd make alone
Minoralaur: worked hard at my marriage...marriage is never easy...it takes 2 people making an honest committment and putting in time & effort...
AdamBeWorkin: if i understand your relationship...
AdamBeWorkin: and you said how you felt
AdamBeWorkin: he wouldn't want you to feel that way
AdamBeWorkin: if you two can truly communicate... you can see that
Minoralaur: relationships are complicated things...
AdamBeWorkin: he will see that
Minoralaur: there is so much I cannot even begin to explain
AdamBeWorkin: to him?
AdamBeWorkin: or just about the relationship
Minoralaur: no...ingeneral
Minoralaur: what i'm trying to say is....the heart sends your head in so many different directions...
Minoralaur: I told you yesterday...I love him dearly...but I dont know if I am truly 'in love'
AdamBeWorkin: if you have to say that
AdamBeWorkin: then you know
AdamBeWorkin: it just hurts to say
AdamBeWorkin: And honestly - your head was not ready to deal with this now
AdamBeWorkin: at all
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: but you had to know it was going to come
AdamBeWorkin: I just wish for your sake it didn't have to be so damn dramatic
Minoralaur: dramatic? u mean yesterday....?
AdamBeWorkin: no saturday night!
Minoralaur: yeah...
AdamBeWorkin: Sunday was actually pretty perfect to tell you the truth
AdamBeWorkin: sitting in the car with you...
AdamBeWorkin: i'm still astonished
Minoralaur: we got to see each other in a different light, for one...
Minoralaur: why astonished?
AdamBeWorkin: because i could've sat there and looked at you for years
AdamBeWorkin: it's what that song was about
AdamBeWorkin: "how the fuck can you look INTO me?"
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Minoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: i should've written a more blunt verse
AdamBeWorkin: "what the fuck"
Minoralaur: same...but do you think...
AdamBeWorkin: "where are you from"
AdamBeWorkin: do i think...
Minoralaur: that u were just 'intrigued' by me...out of lonliness...? something new?
AdamBeWorkin: i'm not lonely
Minoralaur: out of simply just getting your mind of your ex?
AdamBeWorkin: my miund will always be on her
AdamBeWorkin: she's a friend
AdamBeWorkin: what can you do
AdamBeWorkin: and i went there saturday night
AdamBeWorkin: just to talk with someone
AdamBeWorkin: you look at me like I'm the only person on the planet
AdamBeWorkin: you look at me like... jesus - i dont know
AdamBeWorkin: i've never experienced it
Minoralaur: so do u think that u could never love someone again...the way u loved her?
AdamBeWorkin: and do you really think if I was lonely, I wouldn't just go get laid
AdamBeWorkin: ?
AdamBeWorkin: oh come on Minor
AdamBeWorkin: i dont have that connection with her
AdamBeWorkin: when I say i've never experienced it
AdamBeWorkin: i never have
AdamBeWorkin: she was more of a friend
AdamBeWorkin: still is
AdamBeWorkin: there was never a passion with her
AdamBeWorkin: just comfort
Minoralaur: right...
AdamBeWorkin: which is wonderful
Minoralaur: I totally understand comfort
AdamBeWorkin: in its own way
Minoralaur: for sure
AdamBeWorkin: but you now have an inkling
Minoralaur: so...if u dont mind me asking...
AdamBeWorkin: of what else could be...
AdamBeWorkin: yeah...
Minoralaur: whens the last time u had sex..? ;)
AdamBeWorkin: me and jess?
Minoralaur: just you
Minoralaur: and..whoever?
AdamBeWorkin: uhm
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: oh
AdamBeWorkin: cause well i had sex JUST me
AdamBeWorkin: last night
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Minoralaur: hahaha
AdamBeWorkin: and you were wonderful btw
Minoralaur: not exactly considered 'sex'
Minoralaur: hahaha
AdamBeWorkin: shit - the way i do it it is
Minoralaur: hahah
AdamBeWorkin: ANYWAY I'm blushing
Minoralaur: seriously...
AdamBeWorkin: uhm - I actually had sex with Jess
AdamBeWorkin: about a week or so ago
Minoralaur: hmmmm
Minoralaur: thats never easy
AdamBeWorkin: well - when you're friends...
Minoralaur: but i'm sure that wont be the last time...
AdamBeWorkin: you kidding?
AdamBeWorkin: yeah - i'm done
AdamBeWorkin: she lives in columbus
Minoralaur: no way...say she comes in town again for work or somethin'.
Minoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: no, she's done
Minoralaur: so...when was the last time u were with another woman..not jess?
AdamBeWorkin: February 5th
AdamBeWorkin: superbowl sunday
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: not that i remember
AdamBeWorkin: heh
Minoralaur: ;)
Minoralaur: you're so cute...
Minoralaur: truly...so different...
AdamBeWorkin: ?
Minoralaur: diff. than most guys
Minoralaur: I work with guys...we talk all the time...
Minoralaur: they are just, well...typical
AdamBeWorkin: how am i different?
Minoralaur: so much more settled
Minoralaur: and mature
AdamBeWorkin: i just know myself
AdamBeWorkin: that's all
Minoralaur: that's a good thing...
Edited out some real-estate talk here. I got an app at work (zzzzzzzzzzzzzz)...
Minoralaur: so when can I see you again?
AdamBeWorkin: it's not up to me
AdamBeWorkin: i'll meet you anytime you have
Minoralaur: tonight? for a bit?
AdamBeWorkin: time....
Minoralaur: like an hour tops?
AdamBeWorkin: of course
Minoralaur: ummm
Minoralaur: I'll prob. be leaving the gym by 7:15ish
Minoralaur: here in west LA
Minoralaur: so...
AdamBeWorkin: right
AdamBeWorkin: hmmmm
AdamBeWorkin: how do you come home
AdamBeWorkin: and btw - fuck the gym for tonight
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Minoralaur: lol
Minoralaur: only thing is...
Minoralaur: if I leave here at like 6 pm..
AdamBeWorkin: traffic
AdamBeWorkin: i know
Minoralaur: i'll be stuck in traffic
Minoralaur: yeah
Minoralaur: so...I work out..and leave here like an hour later
AdamBeWorkin: right
Minoralaur: and traffic is so much better
AdamBeWorkin: good call
AdamBeWorkin: so you go 405 north...
AdamBeWorkin: to 101 north?
Minoralaur: I take the 405 north to the 101
Minoralaur: yeah
AdamBeWorkin: hmmm
AdamBeWorkin: you'd be around 101 and desoto at roughly 7:45
AdamBeWorkin: right?
AdamBeWorkin: or maybe even 7:30?
Minoralaur: ya, depending on traffic
AdamBeWorkin: and when do you have to be home?
Minoralaur: which this morning...wasnt too bad...
Minoralaur: well I think his plane gets here at 10 pm
Minoralaur: so by then...
AdamBeWorkin: that made me smirk
Minoralaur: lol
Minoralaur: why?
AdamBeWorkin: why did you lol?
AdamBeWorkin: ha
Minoralaur: I know...so fukken shady, right?
Minoralaur: :(
AdamBeWorkin: no no no
AdamBeWorkin: i want to see you
AdamBeWorkin: that's all babe
Minoralaur: k...
Minoralaur: well I can call you when I leave here
Minoralaur: i'll be kinda sweaty though
AdamBeWorkin: hang on one second...
Minoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: goddamn
Minoralaur: k
AdamBeWorkin: k - back
AdamBeWorkin: gotta ask you this...
AdamBeWorkin: actually can i call real quick?
Minoralaur: ummm, i'm at my desk
Minoralaur: <lots of people around>
Minoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: but they can't read the screen?
Minoralaur: nope
Minoralaur: ;)
AdamBeWorkin: fair enough
AdamBeWorkin: so why do you want to see me tonight?
AdamBeWorkin: you wouldn't even answer my calls yesterday
AdamBeWorkin: ya know?
Minoralaur: I just want to see you...
Minoralaur: yesterday I felt...I dont even know...
Minoralaur: for once, i'm at a loss for words
AdamBeWorkin: well make some up damnit
Minoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: you gotta throw yourself in my shoes for a moment
AdamBeWorkin: serioulsy - close your eyes
AdamBeWorkin: picture this from my perspective
Minoralaur: I know, I know...I thought about it
AdamBeWorkin: or keep them open
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Minoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: all i need from you....is honesty
AdamBeWorkin: that's it
AdamBeWorkin: if you are up front I'm fine
AdamBeWorkin: if you are like you were Sunday...
AdamBeWorkin: where you lie to me and say everything is alright
AdamBeWorkin: when you're freaked
AdamBeWorkin: i'm not fine at all
Minoralaur: :/
AdamBeWorkin: then i'm fucked up all night
AdamBeWorkin: thinking it's because i forgot my goddamn wallet
AdamBeWorkin: then i dont sleep
Minoralaur: i'm really sorry...
AdamBeWorkin: you can't do that sweetie
AdamBeWorkin: if you are freaked
AdamBeWorkin: if you are overwhelmed
AdamBeWorkin: just look me in the eyes - and say "i'm overwhelmed"
Minoralaur: I know...
AdamBeWorkin: and i will kiss you on the forehead and let yougo
AdamBeWorkin: it's ok to be overhwelmed
AdamBeWorkin: this is very serious
Minoralaur: sunday was just a variety of things...
Minoralaur: head was going in so many different directions
AdamBeWorkin: well - you haven't explained ANY of the variety
AdamBeWorkin: still
Minoralaur: I know...
Minoralaur: not over IMs
Minoralaur: if u really want to know..I'll tell you
AdamBeWorkin: ...
AdamBeWorkin: why wouldn't i want to know
Minoralaur: ok then
Minoralaur: we can be totally honest
AdamBeWorkin: have I been anything but?
Minoralaur: not that I think...
AdamBeWorkin: so shoot
Minoralaur: I actually have to go in like 5 minutes...
Minoralaur: so we'll save it
AdamBeWorkin: YOU SUCK
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: ROFL
AdamBeWorkin: we'll you type the damn sentence
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: *will not we'll
AdamBeWorkin: don't be scared Minor...
Minoralaur: no, no....when the time is right....
AdamBeWorkin: is it that big of a deal?
AdamBeWorkin: it was so the money
AdamBeWorkin: you thinking I'm completely lying to you - and are poor
AdamBeWorkin: lol
Minoralaur: lol
AdamBeWorkin: and *I'm poor
AdamBeWorkin: my grammar is all fucked up
AdamBeWorkin: jesus
AdamBeWorkin: please give me a hint...
Minoralaur: I have to go now...
Minoralaur: so...tonight?
AdamBeWorkin: we still haven't decided where
Minoralaur: ummm
Minoralaur: u tell me
Minoralaur: what exit do u live off?
AdamBeWorkin: I live off coldwater canyon
AdamBeWorkin: but that's the 101 going the other way
Minoralaur: yeah...hmmmm
Minoralaur: so, car chat again I take it?
Minoralaur: I feel like i'm 16 again ;)
AdamBeWorkin: well i cant meet you on the highway
AdamBeWorkin: here's what I'll do
AdamBeWorkin: I'll drive down de soto
AdamBeWorkin: so you're closer to home
AdamBeWorkin: even thouhg it's WAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY
AdamBeWorkin: :-)
AdamBeWorkin: and call around 7:30
AdamBeWorkin: and I'll tell you where I am
Minoralaur: :(
AdamBeWorkin: ?
AdamBeWorkin: what?
Minoralaur: 'way the fuck out of the way'?
AdamBeWorkin: oh babe - sorry
AdamBeWorkin: sarcasm
Minoralaur: k...
AdamBeWorkin: babe - if we go close to my house
Minoralaur: but where on de soto?
AdamBeWorkin: i'll be singing you the new song at my piano within 30 minutes
Minoralaur: I wanan hear it!!
Minoralaur: lol
Minoralaur: k, well I have to go...
AdamBeWorkin: lol
AdamBeWorkin: so just call
Minoralaur: of course I do
AdamBeWorkin: i'll tell you where...
Minoralaur: hee hee
Minoralaur: ok then
AdamBeWorkin: bye hon
Minoralaur: bye!
Well, we met way too close to my house. (sigh). It wasn’t but 5 minutes at Denny’s before she said she would be more comfortable talking at my house. What was I going to say no? I promptly got up and paid for my coffee (this time - sigh) and we were off.
In my life people. Seriously – going on 30 years… I have never felt the need to look at someone as much as I do with her. It’s re-energizing. I have loved people, and been connected to people my whole life. No one moreso than Jessica obviously. However – when asked what the most enjoyable thing that has happened, it’s simply staring at each other. We end up looking at each other for literally hours. Obviously there was more – but what I take from it is so much more than physical. And after 48 hours I know it’s not love. I mean I’m head over heels in love with her, but you can’t truly love someone after 48 hours. I’m not 15. But when I look in her eyes...christ, how the fuck do you say this without it being hackneyed? There just isn’t a term to describe it. It just feels connected. And she feels the same way. It’s eerie.
Anyway, she had to get back as her husband’s plane got in around 10 pm. So we’re instantly thrown from the “Minialaur” to the “Minoralaur”. We now start to ask the same questions: Will she tell him anything? Can she live like this? Can she actually keep me from looking at her differently if she doesn't tell him? Will she be like Laura? And is common sense laughing his ass off right now? As much as I tried to avoid it – I’m in deep.
I swear. Only I could answer some random posting on craig’s list about a platonic relationship and have it turn into this. Amazing.
PS - the video is from 7 years ago. I do have some good memories of it all. This video (from entry 34 no less!!!) always makes me smile.... and, welllllllllllllllllll that would be it. (sigh)