- 12:45 AM, Tuesday,
March 1st, 2005:
- So on my way home
from work on Friday - I stopped at a sushi restaurant.
$10 on some sushi was one of those things I said I
always wished I could do without getting "sick to
my stomach". Not because of the food mind you, but for
so long I've felt it was a luxury. I couldn't justify
it when I could eat cheaper if I cooked
myself and then the money could go towards stuff Jess
and I needed. This has been my life for so, so, so
many years. It's a stress many know and even at times
when we could probably afford to, we just wouldn't
splurge. It just made me feel so bad.
- But here
I was eating sushi, which I love, and
I was OK. It was just such a peaceful feeling.
Have I ever explained why sushi is so incredible? It
has nothing to do with the food. Well it does a little
- but it has to do with the routine of it all.
Preparing the soy sauce with just the right amount of
wasabi. About each individual bite. About enjoying the
tastes and taking your time. It's something for an
overeater like me that I never do with other food.
With sushi - you're forced to go slow and...almost
connect with the food. It's so hard to express to
people who find it disgusting. Something about the
customs involved that I just love.
- So the next day I
thought...well I want to do that again. So the
next night I went back and ate their again. And
amazingly I was just so happy to get in my car! I
was so happy to go out! Not to feel shackled with
guilt for spending a measly $10-$20! It was so
incredible. It was what I was trying to express to
Jess for the few days we had. All those proverbial
metal bars over our relationship and my spirit are
simply gone! I just want to soar...
- !!?!??! Who
impulse buys a trip to Japan? Honestly I was
amazed at how friggin' cheap it was. $548 round-trip
plus tax ('round $610 total). That really is pretty
cheap to go to a different country. I mean from LA
it's only about 10 hours direct (which is almost
equivalent to the full day it takes me to get to
Columbus with a stop). I went to a bunch of
websites, looked at prices for hotels and food... Man
I could easily do the whole thing around $1000.
I booked the flight for May 13 - 22 and hit
submit...and just smiled. I'm so excited I can
barely stand it. I don't know a lick of japaneese,
have no idea what I'll do - but it's an adventure. And
I can do it. It's one of the best feelings ever.
I simply read that the best time to go was May
because of the flowers and picked a random week in May
and hit submit. And that was that. I looked
around, and just laughed. Anyone who happened to be
online at the time got a very strange instant message.
I called up Marty Moose and said -
GUESS WHAT I JUST DID! He was
- There is obviously
a tiny twinge of sadness to all of this. Because you
all know who I wanted to call immediately.
I actually stopped myself 'cause I was sure
it would hurt her. I guess she'll find out
eventually, but it just rips me up. She should be
experiencing this. Throughout everything I still
feel that. It seems unfair that one of the only things
she ever wanted to do was travel and the second she
leaves I have the ability to do so. (sigh). But I'm
secure that I've given her every opportunity to
be a part of this and she simply doesn't want it. That
will be sad to me for quite some time. But fuck Adam -
finally a happy entry! Shut up already.
- So of course - the
journey is gonna fucking rule. You know that there
will be a 10 part series now: "Journey to Japan".
I guess this should be part one. LOL. I'll get a
laptop and one of those tiny little camcorders
I can use with a memory stick and just go crazy.
Not to be cheap, but I'll probably end up taking the
laptop back because I really have no need for one
- but believe me - the journey will continue
throughout. It'll be awesome. I'm actually revolving
my entire trip around the wifi spots in Japan (which
are very few and far between) just so I can
update stuff. It's gonna be incredible. I have to
admit - hitting submit to buy the ticket was almost
spiritual. It was as if I hit enter on my
"spirit" button. I can finally be ME!!!
I can finally FEEL without all this fucking poor
man's guilt. It's just...magical. It's honestly
something I thought I'd only get if I became
some famous entertainer. And on top of that this isn't
even all that extravagant!! Just so happy right
now. Very good feeling.
- Greece is up next.
I figure I should go before I have kids
or any other big responsibilities just to see my
relatives that you only ever hear about. Greece is a
bit more intense however. From LA - it truly is
1/2 way around the world - and well over $2000 at the
cheapest places. But I probably won't have to
worry about food and lodging because of family.
I just feel if I don't do it now...it will
never happen. You know? Yes, I could save every
single penny for retirement - but then I'll be too
damn old to have fun. Believe me I"m being insanely
cautious with my money (didn't buy the Greece tickets
yet) and am taking baby steps to just enjoy being
FREE. But - lol - buying a ticket to Japan? That so
rules. And to everyone who so nicely set me up in the
instant messages by asking me why? Thank
- WHY NOT?