(click the picture above for the high definition video - but also click YouTube for me!)
YouTube link added 01.29.09
8:16 PM, Monday, December 25th, 2006:
You look up and all the sudden you've got loose ends everywhere. Welcome to being incredibly busy...oh and trying to chronicle your life as a real-time soap opera. So lemme play a little Christmas Catch-Up...
First of all, Shizzle. Him being the angel is just too damn cute. It's one of those things you do, that when other people see it they think: "Oh isn't that a healthy way to deal with the death of a dog, how sweet." ...unfortunately that's bullshit. Truth be told, I am actually worse off about it all then I was earlier in the month. It's so embarrassing to me I can barely write about it. I am grieving so hard, so long, and so...alone. It's crying in the shower, or in my car - hiding. I'm devastated. I'm in total denial, I expect him to run in daily. I realize too late that what I really want to do at a given moment is wrestle with him...and he's not there.

I could write volumes, but I stop myself constantly...and will stop myself now. This Journey is supposed to be a true representation of me and it just has to be said that you should envision a shattered man struggling in private daily. I am astonished that I'm reacting so emotionally to a pet. I guess I never allowed myself to even think of losing him and in turn had no idea what he meant to me. He really was my reflection.
Alright - other updates. I guess we'll continue in dog news. CeBe is doin' just fine, although I haven't been able to catch her peein' and poopin' on the rug enough to fully house train her. In case you're wondering, the Kontras method of house training is very simple. Catch 'em in the act...and scare the bejeezus out of 'em by yelling in their face. I know, seems kinda cruel to scream an inch from a puppy's face...but it really works. Dogs are smart...they get it. REALLY QUICK. You catch 'em a couple times, and yell at 'em all the way to the backyard? You're FINE. Having a doggy-door giving them free reign in and out helps out too. Roxy is as sweet as can be. She's so loving and gentle as this little terror goes all "puppy" on her. It's heartwarming. And the noises this puppy makes are just adorable. When she growls she sounds like a gremlin, and when she yawns it's this mix of cat and baby. So cute.
CBS. Dahhh. The locked entries. Those last 2 locked entries are AWESOME, but I haven't the slightest idea when they can ever be unlocked. It's going very well but has some interesting challenges that you'd just never expect. As I've hinted at...the fight never ends. You have to scheme every second and push, push, push. Although that's kinda fun...it's also a bit much. I love staying hungry and fighting for more... but you really do end up in a "never smelling the roses" routine and I've waited so damn long to smell them you know? Like everything else in life - it's a balance. DAH... I can't hide this part of the locked emails from you though. Guess what the VP wrote to the segment producer a couple weeks back:
"Loved the Adam part two…pass it on to the folks in la…we will be working for him some day"
How AWESOME is that? What a ride.
Keith Coast Superstar unfortunately did not get The Panic Channel gig. His lack of touring experience ended up being the biggest variable against him. Always sucks when experience is a factor you know? 'Cause how do you get touring experience? YOU GO ON TOUR. lol. But it's a pretty big 7 week tour and I do understand them wanting to get someone whose been down that road before. They went with a guy in his mid-30s in a somewhat popular band that's been touring for years. It makes sense. They know he won't leave 'em hanging. Image was also an issue (they're all pushin' 40) and I can imagine he would stick out like a sore thumb... but the thing that rocks in all this is one, indisputable fact: They said he blew everyone out of the water. They were floored by how good he was and want to use him for other things. As I said before in his entry, he's just that good. It's only a matter of time before the name "Keith Chandler" gets out into the community and he finds his niche. And since I've been talking so much shit about him I figured it was time to let you guys really know what I mean which is why we did the Fiona Apple song last night. I'm certain there will be more in the future.
Doobe-doobe-doo... whatever could I be missing....
So you may have noticed a locked entry... a blacked out entry... an angry lookin' song... and an extreme lack of "Donna" news. Things have been bumpy to say the least. Truth be told, and it breaks my heart to say this, New York was anything but "Fairy Tale" and since the day I met her it has been the struggle of a lifetime. I have been both the most miserable I've been in years and the most happy I've ever known. It's the definition of schizophrenic and I've had to avoid her all together in these entries because every sentence I could write would turn into the exact opposite the next day. Just thinking about these past 3 months has me dizzy. In the new year we'll both write another entry... of course assuming she's still here. Yes, it's been that bad. Strange though, now that sentence seems cruel somehow. We've had a really great week and for us - that's more than we've ever had. We're taking one day at a time and I love her to death. I can honestly say I believe she's "The One" as I put in the Christmas Picture...
...of course she may be "The One" that leads me to heroin, but she's the one all the same. ;-)
Ain't love grand.
PS - she got me a leafblower for Christmas and I swear to you I felt like an 8 year old with a new toy. Oh my GOD HOW FUN. I've had to sweep that driveway for 4 years now and I never would have bought myself a leaf-blower thinking a broom was good enough - BUT NEVA!!!! POWER!!! I think that officially makes me...like a dad? An adult? As I was blowing the leaves around and it occured to me that getting a leaf-blower was more exciting to me than playing with my Nintendo Wii...
...one day it just happens to all of us I guess. Funny stuff.