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YouTube link added 01.29.09
2:54 PM, Tuesday, October 24th, 2006:
The stories just never end...
So this morning was my first meeting with my CBS producer in LA and the hair/make-up lady. I was so busy with re-arranging the house, helping Keith move out to the studio, and helping Cassi move into her new pad I really never thought to be excited. Good thing your body/mind doesn't worry about your preperation for such excitement, it just throws it on you because on my way there I became giddy. I was listening to "Thriller" (that's the black Michael Jackson for the youngins) and remembering listening to it constantly when I was 9 years old and driving my mother insane. I mean truly insane. All the while just getting giddy at where I was driving to, and why I was driving there. Then of course, I get there and run into a shitstorm.
My name wasn't on the list, but the security guard called the producer and got me on.
----what the hell this guy in front of me on the plane just opened up a compartment of the friggin' PLANE under his feet and is trying to get in there. ?!?!? Oh apparently he dropped something. Huh? I know we're overly paranoid because of 9/11 but come on man - don't open up the side of the plane. That's really disconcerting----
Anyway, so I get on, I'm driving to Lot F and I'm all giddy so I pull out my camera and smile into it and talk about how excited I am, yadda yadda - you know goofy Adam shit. I park and go to a security guard to find the artist's enterance and as I'm walking up to him I hear on his walkie-talkie:
"Uhm, he's got a white shirt on, a black hat and he was videotaping us."
I just kind of smile and point to myself as if to say "That's me!". He acts like he just found the fuckin' Unabomber and walkie-talkie's back:  "I got him, send security."
I start to freak out, because the tape I have in the camera is my goddamn Sopranos tape. Arrest me. Shoot me even. I'm not giving that up.
"Were you taping our lot?"
"No man just holding it as I am now."
Two other security guards come and they're pouncin' boy. "What are you doing with a camera, why are you here, etc." So I finally tell them "Sorry if I did anything wrong, it's my first time here - really excited, just taping myself in the car, I'm meeting my producer...." yadda yadda. They ain't buying it. I give them my passport (license stolen as you remember) and he starts writing everything down and then the cavalry comes. 3 more security guards and a 4th in a golf cart. Golf Carter's fuckin PISSED. I'm showing everyone my 15 seconds of video and Carter is GRILLIN me. I swear I was waiting for "WHAT'S YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION PRIVATE?" I explain again, first time here - just excited and then I finally get ahold of the producer. I have to explain to him where I am and I do so as follows:
"You know where they bring the Price is Right contestants around the side, then have them line up in the back? I'm to the right of that"
Now I say this with no actual "Price is Right" contestants in line, and it becomes very clear to Carter McFuckStick that I have indeed been here before. I can feel his eyeballs searing a hole through me as I explain my whereabouts to my producer Jim. Laughing, I turn to him after I hang up and just say:  "Yeah, so I guess I have been here before, but I meant in this capacity..." At this point it's a lost cause. He's gonna find some way to nail me as I must be a terrorist. So he goes:
"It was just stolen, I had to set up an appointment at the DMV for November as I'm out of town until then."
At this point I just have to laugh. Literally laugh in his face. I know, bad move - but for cryin' out loud you've already verified who I am with the producer, you looked at my passport and wrote down pages of shit from it, and you've seen my 15 seconds of SMILING at the goddamn camera inside my car. Now you're just playing Rent-A-Cop who is just pissed off that Rogers was rubbin pine tar on the baseball and your beloved Cardinals lost.
"It said on the internet I needed to have my picture taken again even for a replacement - not sure what to tell you. I thought my passport would be sufficient ID. That's what I used to get the parking pass the guard at the front gate gave me."
Then Producer Jim shows up and we shake hands as I say "Nice to meet you..." Oh McFuckHead loved that. I keep name-dropping this producer like he's my best friend in the world and then he watches me say "Nice to meet you" to him. That one sent him over the edge. "You're NOT parking in MY lot without a DRIVER's license. You have to leave, park on the street, and walk in." Jim is just befuddled and to tell you the truth? So were the other security gueards. Once, what should we call him now... Carter McSnazzyPants (that's nicer) - yes once McSnazzyPants left the other Security guard just laughed saying: "That's a new one on me, I thought the passport was more than enough."
So I taped over the footage with a nice shot of my lens (which makes for the greatest jouney video ever - LMAO, I'll add some of the stuff from before and after to round it out) and proceeded to leave the lot and Jim let me in a turnstyle on the side. He was being all apologetic when he walked me to the car and I kept saying:  "DUDE! You don't understand! This is the best Journey fodder EVER!" Who will ever forget Carter McNeedsALife?
For the next 4 months I swear to you I will be certain to smile and wave at Carter every chance I get. I may even try and videotape him.
So Jim shows me around, and I'm tellin' you every step it hit me a little more. This is a gigantic facilty, in size yes, but moreso in history. Where I'm getting my make-up done is right off the Price is Right stage, which was also the Carol Burnett show and where they taped All in the Family. This ain't a little cable channel - this is a network. He runs me through CBS News and shows me the "Living Room" set for "The Early Show" and I see how that's all gonna work out, and then it's up to meet Jodi who will be doing my hair and make-up. He brings out full color copies of The Trinitrons (sorry I'm just gonna call them that until absolutely forced to call them the Egos - yech) that he printed up from my site and we just have a ball. Jodi is so excited to be doing something fun and creative and just got the biggest kick out of how good the 4 characters looked. Loved the sets, loved the whole idea - was just so happy. Of course I'm bouncing off the walls too and again, this all hits another level for me. She explains that she's gonna need to go shop for the wig for G, but should have Spencer and Dewey's already - but if not she can find them. Explains how the airbrush will work wonders for dying eyebrows and facial hair, thus avoiding the lovely waxing and shaving abuse from years past. It just started hitting me over and over - I'm with the big boys now. She's the make-up lady for The Late Late Show, Young and the Restless, Bold and the Beautiful... she's been in the game awhile and she was so appreciative of how well fleshed out the charcters were and of course I'm beaming. I can't even believe I'm HERE. So we make a date for a test of everything right when I get back from Ohio and we leave all giggling and excited.
Then he asks if I want to see the Price is Right set from onstage and of course I do. In January I was in the audience and now I'm standing onstage, looking at all the games from backstage - all I could do was yell: "Plinko! Plinko!" Which unfortunately was not there - :-(. It was a blast. This building holds so much television history I can't barely stand it.
So we go back to his office to talk about a few things and I pretty much lay out exactly what my intentions are with this: I want to give CBS every reason to run a full 2 minute segment, on the early show, whenever they talk about it - as opposed to just playing a tiny clip 3 times a week. Then of course on the site we'll have a longer version - but my thought is that if I make something that's ridiculously well produced and fast, and funny announcing the contestants for the talent show, there's no reason they won't choose to run that instead of having one of the other hosts just read off the names. The fact that I'll be standing on the Early Show set from Hollywood will be the perfect tie-in. Jim completely understood and even said that was a pretty good idea on my part. Earlier I had explained how all of this happened with me staying out 3 extra weeks just to pitch something and he was really impressed. He said that Steve (the VP of CBS) must really have a strong feeling about me because they really have bent over backwards. I agreed profusely and said I was so honored to have this chance and there was just no way I was going to let any opportunity slip away now. As I've mentioned before - I'm now in the game. There's no way I'm not shooting some 3-pointers and going for some dunks. I cannot wait this long to get in, and then pass the ball and feel like I've accomplished something just by getting in. Not after 7 years. No way. I'm stealing the ball and breaking some records.
The last part of this has to do with the breakfast I had with Charlotte on Sunday that really cemented all of this. Re-opening the old 2001 sit-com idea about the over-the-hill boyband. That writing exercise that basically did our relationship in, is now so obvious we have to address it. It is so blatantly clear that with these shows for 13 weeks, I'm going to be pitching these characters to CBS specifically. On their own network they will watch these characters develop in front of their eyes and the jump from that to pitching the sit-com is not even a jump. It's so obvious I wouldn't be surprised if they don't mention something to me as if it were their idea...and that's what I want. I need to make it so funny, so quick, make it work on so many levels that it screams MORE. Meanwhile writing the pilot and bible with Charlotte and preparing to blow everyone away again with characters that are 10 times deeper than they ever imagined. It's tailor-made folks. I'm doing it FROM the inside now. I'm literally getting the opporunity to show them weekly what I can do, for over 3 MONTHS, and then have the opportunity at the end of that run (or even in the middle) to pitch more show ideas to not only a captive audience, but people that already have a vested interest in me! They want to help me because they discovered me and brought me this far...
...is it all clicking for you guys yet? See how this is just the beginning? See why I couldn't think about this AT ALL in New York because my head would have exploded? WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO. It's actually happening. And I'm actually on an airplane to introduce Donna to my family and then fly back to LA with her. My life is a friggin' fairy tale folks. Even Carter McPenisEnvy just adds to the fun. HAHAHA.
Hit the forum feedback button and give me your name ideas for our friend Carter...