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YouTube link added 01.29.09
11:44 PM, Thursday, October 19th, 2006:
 Angel 1
God. God. Hey God, God? God? Hey God?
Angel 1
I got the wallet.
The wallet?
Angel 1
Kontras, this'll keep him on the island for sure!
You're kidding me.
Angel 1
No, see, last time I dropped the ball - but this time don't, you, worry. I'm on it!
Me fuckin' DAMNIT Angel 1, he already did The Sopranos, he needs to leave today. How am I gonna get him on a plane without ID. Meeeeeeeee.
If you don't think this month was one filled with miracles, this'll prove it to ya. 30 minutes before my driver comes to pic me up I notice my wallet's gone. Last had it at the bagel shop on the corner in the morning and I must have just set it down. Went back, gone. Searched the apartment, nothing... G, O, N, E.
Throw in a bit of claustrophobia with Donna. We had been in one room, for a month. It was already a room she was sharing with another girl (who just happened to be out of town for the majority of the time) so her shit was all over the room, then my shit was all over the room, her routine was all messed up, I was living out of a suitcase and for the love of fuck just wanted to be able to put both of my hands out to my sides and not HIT something... it was time, to, GO. We were both looking forward to a tiny bit of breathing room and then this.
So when I called her half in tears to see if maybe she had the wallet, she certainly reciprocated the feeling back to me. She had nothing, and the visions of Finnerty danced in my head**. I finally just called CBS and begged for their help. She gets on the phone and says to go ahead and get to JFK, tears can make magic happen...
...tears however can't make the Mets Game 7 traffic move any faster. We were stopped. Luckily my driver was an ex-yellow cab driver and was doin' all sorts of crazy shit. Meanwhile on the phone we had this ridiculous version of phone tag goin' on. Sara from CBS spent 2 hours on the phone with TSA Security, the travel agent, and Jet Blue trying to come up with a solution. I had my dad in Columbus ready to fax my birth certificate over, and I was holding on for dear life as the driver kept taking back streets like it was friggin' Die Hard 3. I do have to admit, it was fun.
At 5:43 (flight boards in 12 minutes) I get to the airport and have to stand in the longest goddamn line to get my boarding pass. No easy check-in when you don't have your GODDAMN CREDIT CARDS. Sara had called me just before to explain that everyone is aware of the situation and will basically make me a security risk and rape me in some room before I can get on the flight. I was fine with that. She said however that I did need to somehow pull off a boarding pass without my ID. Let's just say the guy behind the counter wasn't very pleased with my scenario. I begged him to please just look up my name and I was sure he'd find something in his computers to show that CBS had been on the phone with everyone for hours...and he did. He printed up the pass, wrote: "NO ID" on it, and at 6:05 I was able to get into the next goddamn line to get my rape on.
This is where I was a bit of a dick, I made a line where there wasn't one, and skipped so many goddamn people. Then, because I was so late, they took me completely seperately and had their way with me. I must say though, I was lookin' forward to a little more. I got the intimate pat-down as they rummaged through all my shit, but there was no strip search. Sucks. The woman was rather purty too. Oh well. The guy goin' through my bags noticed my camera, and we started talking about video editing of all things and we use the same programs. Small world. That shortened things a bit, and I literally ran to my plane and just made it.
As I sat down, I had a bunch of phone calls to make and I suddenly became that guy. Ever sit next to a guy who acts important on his cell phone? I so didn't mean this, but I called Sara back and thanked her and somehow mentioned how great CBS has been to me... then the producer in LA that's gonna be working on my show calls to set-up a time to meet on Tuesday with the hair and make-up people. I end up saying "It should be no problem, I've been doing these characters for 5 years, and with some creative shaving and drawing in - we'll be great" that was the moment the lady next to me looked up from her magazine and looked me in the eye with body language that said: "Should I know this guy?", it was very, very eerie. But I mean, the fantastic "No ID" story, CBS working for 2 hours to get me on that plane, and then the producer calling all at once suddenly turned me into that guy. After I hung up I explained everything to her and she was cool. Very impressed they got me on that flight. No shit huh?
Knowing the NY magic was officially coming to an end, I watched Game 7 with the rest of the New Yorkers on the plane (including the lady next to me who was die-hard) and I just knew... I knew they weren't gonna win. When we were over California, in the 9th inning of a 1-1 tie, the Cardinals scored 2 runs and the Mets couldn't pull it off even with the bases loaded. The whole plane sorta let out a big sigh as I just shook my head in acknowledgement that the fairy tale was over. Oh I'm starting another one with Donna in Ohio on Tuesday, but the NY fairy tale, September 19th to October 19th, officially came to an end as I landed in LA. Now I get to deal with cancelled credit cards, the goddamn DMV and moving/cleaning for 4 days.
I'll be hard pressed to beat these 15 entries any time in the near future...
...but you'd better believe I'll try.
**The video and title have to be killing non-Soprano fans. I don't want to give it away for those who haven't seen the episodes yet, but maye this will be a motivator for you to rent the 1st disc of Season 1. You do it, and I guarantee you'll be clamoring for the next discs and will soon be caught up by the final 8 episodes in March.