(click the picture above for the high definition video - but also click YouTube for me!)
YouTube link added 01.31.09
9:29 AM, Thursday, September 7th, 2006:
I left a message with the producer. (sigh)
It occured to me late last night that I may have misunderstood The Early Show producer and that this isn't live. The thought just jumped in my head and the more I thought about it the more I couldn't STOP thinking about it. Now she NEVER said video. Never said "tape a bit" - nothing like that. She said quite clearly that they were having the winner on the show and they wanted me to "be on the show" to introduce them. As I'm replaying the conversation in my head, it seems quite obvious she meant live and not taping a 4tvs bit (which fuck, that would be quite difficult to tell you the truth). But also never said:  "booking a flight" at any point in the conversation. Or "flying you in" - she just said the winner will be on the show (which we know from the competition is indeed "live") and that the office "loved me" and wanted me to be on the show too. Christ, as I type this I'm even doubting my doubts...
...but I write this for one reason: Welcome to the Journey. This is proof that it's actually a form of abuse. You are so used to getting bitch-slapped that words lose all meaning. You're so used to Lucy taking the ball away that you start to believe that the football ISN'T EVEN THERE to begin with. So now it's not a matter of losing it next week as I mentioned in the entry - did I ipso-facto lose it before I even had it? It's sad isn't it? I was happy for what 12 hours until my mind found the loophole? I swear, once I get somehwere, ANYWHERE, where the goal isn't just ANY type of exposure - it won't be this bad. But when you've come so close so many tmes and the end result is total anonymity, it changes you. God how it changes you. Hope she calls back soon.
"We want you HERE" she said...oh who am I kidding - you know I fuckin' taped THIS call. LOL.
I cannot tell you how happy I am that this entry exists. THIS is what "The Journey" is all about. As I said previously - this shit is like an abusive relationship. The thing is, from the producer's perspective, they only fly guests in... oh about 10 times a week right? So it doesn't occur to them that they have to speak in KINDERGARTEN sentences to a guest like me. HAHAHA.
Alright Adam, stop thinking of loopholes. Stop helping Lucy swipe your ball. You're gonna be alright. Enjoy yourself. Watch some football, workout like a madman to get rid of the 10 pounds that national television camera is gonna add and get some Crest White Strips. LOL. That was Charlotte's advice - she said they're a great little trick to whiten that smile in a small amount of time.
I love this ride.