YouTube link added 02.01.09
2:54 AM, Thursday, June 22nd, 2006:
At the end of the last video I said 3 phrases as a joke that everyone says when they're a loser. I hate those sayings because you're hiding your feelings. If it hurts, say it hurts. If you're disappointed, show it, feel it, process it... saying things like "It's their loss" comes off as sour grapes to me. That being said, "America's Got Talent" booking me for the show and then changing their mind was absolutely, undoubtedly, without hesitation, 'nere a hint of grapes:  their loss. What on earth did I just witness tonight? Seriously, what the fuck was that?
Before I get into it, I have to show you this still of me & Cassi during the show. It is the funniest thing I've seen in a looooooong time. This was after the horn guy which was the very first act we saw at the taping (although the 2nd on the show). It's apparent at this point they are actually contemplating passing him onto the next round (they did) and I am staring off into space in disbelief at how this could possibly be happening. Look at this:
"What, The, Fuck."
The ENTIRE crowd in that shot is smiling. LMAO. Every single person is looking at him onstage and I'm staring at the ground in a daze. Hahahaha. I look so completely out of place there. Everytime I look at it it looks photoshopped to me. They really caught a moment in my life where I was just so shocked at what I was going through I was nearly comatose. HAHAHA. God that's funny to me. I should have a "Caption Contest" for that one. Alright, to the show:
Understand this, my hope going into the show was that it would be incredible. I wanted it to succeed so I could be part of Season 2. I wanted you all to watch it to feel how "perfect" I was for the show. I was expecting to be bummed afterwards because I wasn't part of this phenomenon, but at least know I'd be right there for Season 2. And if I felt any of that, you know damn well I would have gotten on here and said that. In reality...
I have truly never seen a more confusing show in my entire life. The flow was so wonky and unbalanced (the one thing they were looking for right? LOL), that it never felt right. I didn't understand why they stopped people before they even started, I didn't understand why people made it to the 2nd round, I didn't understand what they were looking for, I didn't understand why the X's were so meaningless, I didn't understand why the hell the judges kept hitting the other judges buttons, I didn't understand why there was sooooooooooo many bad (and not even funny) acts, I literally sat there confused. Had it not been for my involvement in the show I would never have sat through 2 hours of that. And 3 more shows like that? How are they gonna keep an audience, when the audience doesn't understand what the hell they're judging?!!? Nothing is defined! I had no idea why they passed half of the acts through. And when that guy told the rappin' granny:  "You are what this show is all about" and all 3 of them cheered as she went to the 2nd round, my head literally fell to my knees in disbelief. The show was in every sense a train wreck to me as a viewer and I have absolutely no desire to watch it again. Doesn't that suck?
But really, you know why Idol works? Because you understand it. You know what they're judging on and the bad acts obviously don't get through. The process is extremely simple and you relate to it on both levels; the judges and the talent. Tonight you were hard pressed to relate to anything. As I've said, I don't understand what the judges were judging on and none of the acts really blew me away. The ones that were good I just thought: "So what do they do in Round 2?" I mean with singers you can have them do different genres, have little challenges...but some of these acts they passed - you've already seen the whole thing right there. Seriously what the hell is horn guy gonna do? Another horn song?
And then the final absolute ball kicker of the entire night the last 30 seconds? If you missed it, at the very end they go:  "There was so much talent in LA we didn't have time to show you all of it!  Here's all the acts moving to the 2nd round"  And I swear to shizzle they fuckin showed 2 second clips of 20 more acts. !?!? So what the fuck did we just sit here and watch? I have never seen a show do that - EVER. How unorganized are you when you have to show 2 second clips of 20 acts that were the BEST OF LA, yet you wasted 2 hours on bad act after bad act.... Unbelieveable.
I just don't know what else to say man. I am completely disappointed for all those involved. I am saddened for all the people who spent money to travel to these auditions because of what they "sold" this show to be. We all thought this was a genuine talent search and it comes off as this completely scripted piece of trash TV. There are so many genuinely talented people who need a break so much and this was touted as that chance, yet it's nothing more than the Gong Show...without a gong. Oh and GOD that's so stupid. The X's idea is only good if it MEANS SOMETHING. How hard is it to tell the talent to prepare say, 90 seconds, then if you get to the end: you're on to the 2nd round, and if all 3 judges X you out, it's over. Instead the acts have no time limit and they use the X's just to stop the act so they can talk to them. The whole button set-up is completely worthless. Ughhhh.
All of that being said - can you imagine how much I would have shined on that stage in comparison? I would have blown people away with the true talent of my act. Seriously one guy onstage doing 5 parts live and interracting with each other. Wow. Then again, not to sound totally arrogant here, it really feels like 4tvs is just too genuine for that show. It's in a different class. It's funny I wanted to put out a press release on the whole anti-american thing but I'm actually now embarrassed to say that I ever wanted to be on the show. I know that sounds outrageous but after seeing it, I think most really talented people would steer clear now that it's aired. I mean christ, go to the America's Got Talent Boards right now - they're SLAMMING the FUCK out of it. I think they're probably going to take down most of these posts so I thought I'd save some of the quotes that made me laugh the most:
"I'm a bigger idiot than those retarded judges for wasting 2 hours of my life on that show."
"I will never watch this show again, and I suspect most other will not as well."
"What a train wreck...and that's just Brandi"
"(Regis) should fake his own death and get out of the contract to save his self respect."
"worst show on television....... "
"Simon Cowell, America has spoken: I've never seen a more unanimous message board! I feel like a part of television history right now. America unites in its hatred of America's Got Talent!"
"I thought this show might be one of my guilty pleasures of the summer but what a horrible waste of time."
"It should be called America's Got Toilet, because they really need to flush this piece of crap."
"I was VERY disappointed in how the show was produced. I personally found it to be embarrassing to all U.S. citizens."
"Keep it up, NBC, and pretty soon you'll be Number 3!"
Whew. Pages and pages of that. That's with all the NBC plants mind you. LOL. Every few posts you'd see someone say:  "I thought it was great! Yayyyyyy America!!!" LOL - meanwhile every other post describes the torture they were in sitting through it. Amazing.
So that's it folks! It's a 10 part story that I will absolutely look back on and laugh. This was without a doubt, not the right show for me. I will be aSTOUNDed if this is on the air next year. I honestly think there's a chance it may not make it through a full season, but with so little competition on Wednesday nights this summer it would have to score extreeeeeeeeeeemely bad to get pulled. It'll have good numbers for tonight, but next week it'll be interesting to see how many viewers they can retain. I don't know how anyone tunes in again after that show. And goddamnit it's so sad to me. Such a wasted opportunity to put on a really good show. My heart goes out to all the people who not only thought this was their shot, but it legitimately was because they don't live in a big city or their talents are really so varied they can't parlay them into anything else. I am indeed lucky in that sense and cannot believe how disrespectful this show was to those people. If any of you are reading, contact me.
Good night,
PS - I made this video 4 years ago when insiders were saying the line-up for Aspen the year I didn't make it was really bad and Charlotte and I felt sorta relieved. It's prophetic as hell at this moment.