Completely
ridiculous that it took a month to find out what I
already knew, but it is finally over. After several
messages this week, my point person finally called
back to let me know they were on to the 2nd round. So
if anyone else is wondering if they're getting a
callback, you can stop now. For those who may have
skipped the other entries and are just reading the AGT
ones - there was a taping on the 5th and 10th and
I spoke with my point person right before those
and she said I was still in the running, but as I
wrote previously Regis was quite clear in the taping
I saw: "Here's the west coast auditioners!"
so NONE of this made sense to me. I also found
out that who we thought was a "producer" was actually
the "Director of Talent" and she loved it. I
was on her favorites list and the talent team
did choose my act. The producers then selected
the acts from the talent team's suggestions.
And as you know the producers picked me on May 4th,
booked me for the show, then something mysteriously
changed 24 hours later. I no longer care to even guess
anymore, it is done...
...but CHRIST what
a paralyzing process this last month has been.
I truly feel like I lost a month of my life.
On May 15th, when I initially found out - I spent
a few hours of reflection, tore down my set-up the
following day and was moving on. Then of course as
you've read, saw the taping, spoke with the point
person and all the sudden it was all in the air again.
Although there was no real reason for it... I
completely froze. New cartoon? Nothing. Another job?
Nothing. Hell, get out of bed and keep your eyes open
until you have to close them again that night? BARELY.
I can't defend it because I don't even understand it.
All I know is that my heart is an open book, and I let
things flow openly through me. This is what my body
needed to deal with this situation. The reality is,
this very well could have been "the big one" for my
career. Little things will come and go in the rest of
my life, but you all know what I would have done on
that show (and again, wait until you see it next
Wednesday), and it is a MAJOR crossroads in my life.
So I guess it's understandable that I've been in such
a daze. Heh, and I still contend that none of you
reading this will understand ANY of it... until
you watch that first show.
Oddly enough, on
the "America's Got Talent" message boards someone
else is pretty pissed:
Okay so you do this huge casting all over,
people with actual talent travel and spend
money to audition. But instead of letting the
talented battle it out you choose the people
you want in the finals and then scrape the
bottom of the barrel of losers to fill in as
fodder? Not getting it and also looks like
not using the actual auditions anymore I
guess don't want to show that a lot of talent
was overlooked to rig it for the talented
ones taken to LA. Really sad we expected a
little fodder not the majority of the show to
be fodder.. And we get it the beautiful and
very talented singer is going to win yeah for
her!
LOL - ouch.
I don't completely agree with this. I had no
problem with that part of the show. I think the really
bad people are funny as hell, much funnier than the
American Idol fodder, because frankly - the really
talented people can be kinda boring at times. It can
be more interesting to see just how creatively bad
people can be. And really, what does this person
expect? Of course they picked who they thought
would win. You don't think American Idol does that?
You know how many talented singers never even get to
AUDITION for Simon, Randy and Paula simply because the
producers want certain stories and looks? Welcome to
television man. The only thing that might ring true
from this posting is that there's too much crap
which really does limit the real talent from being
part of the show, but that remains to be seen. From
the taping I went to, it didn't seem to be that
unbalanced. I think the show is gonna be really funny
to tell you the truth. I probably won't watch more
than the first taping though. It's just too
painful.
Man, you'd think
there'd be more to tell being that this is only the
2nd entry of the month (after 17 in the previous TWO
months) but there isn't. I get up, I think a lot,
I try to concentrate on things but can't, I just sort
of move in slow motion. I have a feeling however that
this call today will finally change that. Everything
is back in my control now and I have to look
ahead at the other opportunities I can create.
I'm still not convinced 4tvs as a concept has enough
in it to keep pushing it (especially since doing it
now would mean nearly $10,000 of upgrades), but the
door isn't closed. I'm just following my heart right
now, and not undercutting any emotion. They're there
for a reason. This will happen again to me before it's
said and done and I will keep going as I always
have because at my core I'm a survivor.
There's also a lot
of unrest in my head about everything. I touched on it
in the last entry (and yes, there are 2 more in the
"typing on eggshells" series coming), but things
don't feel right to me. I still feel like I'm
on a completely different page than Charlotte on so
much... not that that's a bad thing honestly, but I
can't put my finger on what the problem is. It just
feels too much like 2002 and there's seemingly no
growth to it other than I really want to make a
positive out of all this. That alone isn't
enough...I don't think. (sigh)
What an
interesting time.
Adam
PS -
this
was a "ringtone" song that kept playing in
my AIM box and I always dug it. Found an
instrumental track - and voila, new song.
Fun stuff. Here's an mp3
as well.
Oh, and yeah -
since you can't understand a lick of the words:
If you
lookin at me thinkin' I'm a stop, other shoe'll
drop,
Maybe you
just waitin' for a breakdown,
I'm a
survivor, I'm a soul survivor...
I've been
through it all, seen the rise and fall, waitin'
for the calls,
